Mary Worth

"Geez... life is brutal!" says Wilbur.

Comic

Dennis the Menace

"I'm not myself today." says Mr Wilson, walking into the kitchen in his dressing gown, paper in hand. Mrs Wilson looks up from pouring a cup of coffee.
"Well, enjoy it while you can." she says with a smirk. Mr Wilson sips his coffee, silently glaring daggers at her.

Comic

Blondie

Dogwood and his carpool friends are sitting in the car. Dagwood has his briefcase on his knees.
The driver turns to Dogwood and says "Today is national chili dog day and you never said one word! I gotcha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
The woman, sitting behind Dagwood, is amazed at this revelation. The man sitting behind the driver is just cheerful.

Dagwood opens his briefcase to reveal ten hotdogs, individually wrapped in paper and carefully secured inside the case.
"I got these babies at my favorite hot dog stand and they should last me all week!" he says.
The driver is horrified. The other man is shocked. The woman is enraged.

Dagwood gets out of the car, greets Blondie with a kiss and begins walking away.
"Well, c'mon!" says the woman. "Who'd you think you were dealing with?!"
"Really...!" says the male passenger.
"Happy chili dog day, dear!" says Blondie.

Comic

Apartment 3-G

"So. does baby girl Gaines have a name yet, Tommie?" asks Margo, gesticulating wildly and staring at the wall, refusing to look at Tommie while speaking to her.
"Brace yourself, Margo." says Tommie, looking annoyed. "Nina named her Abigail Ann."
"Abigail as in Abigail 'Tommie' Thompson??" asks Margo disgustedly, continuing to wave one hand about, the other now on her hip.
"I know!" says Tommie, blankly staring at the other side of the room. "How amazing is that?!!"

Comic

Pluggers

A half-human, half-dog creature wearing clothes sits under a tree holding a pencil and some paper in its malformed hands. "Dear Pen Pal," it writes.

"Pluggers have had 'friends' long before Facebook."

Pardon My Planet

A morose woman holds up a long "to-do list" wihh every item checked off. A worried man sits on an armchair in front of her, holding a drink in one hand and a small towel in the other. Some sort of liquid droplets are flying in all directions from his head.

"I see you only did the things I wrote on the list." says the woman listlessly.

Comic

Improving Mandrake the Magician

Based on this recent Mandrake the Magician strip.

Beetle Bailey

Sarge gleefully struts up to Beetle, who turns to face him.

"I googled 'star' 'squiggle' 'grid' 'cloud'!" says Sarge cheerfully. "And came up with 'asterisk' 'mushroom cloud' 'lightning bolt' 'storm cloud' 'exclamation mark'!"

Grinning like a maniac, he grabs beetle by the throat and cocks back his fist to punch him. "I'm always trying to expand my vocabulary!" he says.

"I hate the internet" says Beetle.

Comic

Improving Andertoons

Based on this recent Andertoons panel.

F-Minus

A woman in a striped skirt walks into the house carrying a powpow. A man sits on the couch, reading a book.

"Sorry I'm late." the woman says, angrily. "A couple of gals were having a pick-up cheer at the park."

Comic

Dennis the Menace

Dennis, cheerful and smiling, walks into the Wilsons' house.
"I don't know where the bratwurst is," mutters Mr Wilson angrily to Mrs Wilson, "but I can tell you where the worst brat is."

Comic

Improving Dustin

Based on this recent Dustin strip.

Hägar the Horrible

"I know they say it's bad luck to have a woman aboard ship..." says Lucky Eddie, "but who cares about a little bad luck?!"
Hägar, Eddie and the other Vikings grin at the helpless woman standing before them as they prepare to take her aboard their boat.

Comic

One Big Happy

"Ruthie, did you call your grandma?" asks Ellen.
"I couldn't mom." says Ruthie. "Willie's on the phone."
Ellen stops what she's doing and stares blankly ahead.

In another part of the house, Willie (a dog) sits on a telephone handset and watches television.

Comic

Improving Mandrake the Magician

Added two panels to a recent Mandrake strip.

F-Minus

A woman and a man are sitting at a table. The man looks worried. "Something tells me I should see a psychiatrist," he says, "and that something is a fifteen-foot cyclops only I can see."
The woman crosses her arms and glares at him.

Comic

Shoe

"Senator, does your drinking get in the way of your decision-making?" asks Shoe, downing half a pint of beer without removing the cigar from his mouth.
Senator Belfry puts down one of his four partly-drunk beers and hiccups. "No..." he says, "It gets in the way of my standing up.

Comic

Six Chix

A surprised policeman stands over an unconscious man who is wearing socks but no shoes. A handbag sits on the ground nearby, and an overweight woman with flabby upper arms and strangely thin forearms stands nearby.
"He tried to rob me!" says the woman. "So I thwapped him with my arm flap!"

Comic

The Lockhorns

"According to my horoscope, Leroy," says Loretta, staring at a sheaf of blank papers, "you're going to have a bad day."
Leroy regards her with sadness and continues pouring coffee into a measuring cup.

Comic

Improving Spiderman

Based on this recent Spiderman strip.

Apartment 3-G

As Nina grips the pillow...

"Good girl!" says Tommie. "That was a nice contraction."
"Good work, sweetie!" calls Scott, cheerfully.
Nina pants a bit before looking up. "Shut up Scott. And you too Tommie." she says. "Can't you people see I'm busy?!"

Comic

Dennis the Menace

"Mom!" calls Dennis. "Come an' watch me bungee-jump!"
Alice freezes in wide-eyed terror.

Comic

The Family Circus

"I'm coming back inside." wails Jeffy, running through the doorway in terror. "The sky keeps growlin' at me!"

Comic

Crankshaft

"How did you sleep last night, dad?" asks Pam.
"I went out like a log" says Crankshaft as he leaves the room.
"Good." says Pam with a smile.
"What am I missing?" asks Rose. Pam just smiles at her.

Comic

Crankshaft

"Incredible..." says Jeff. "Another politician was caught sending a lewd photo to a female member of his campaign staff."
"The technology may be new..." says Crankshaft, "but that sort of thing has been going on since time immoral."
Jeff seems unsure how to respond to this statement.

Comic

Better Half

A woman and a man are having coffee together. "You really shouldn't make fun of my ex-boyfriends." says the woman to the shocked man. "You're one of them!"

Comic

Henry

Henry sees a "boy wanted" sign in a shop window, so he takes the job.
"We'll have a sale on cereal today!" says the owner. "Stack up these boxes, Henry!"
Henry builds a circular structure of cereal boxes around himself, and then holds a sign reading "I have to sell my way out. Please buy a box"

Comic

Improving Pluggers

Based on this recent Pluggers panel.

The Family Circus

"I'm gonna go climb on my roof." says some kid with a ladder to Jeffy. "Ask your mom if you can too."
"Okay," says Jeffy, "but I sure hope she says no."

Comic

The Middletons

"Mom!" yells Morris. "For the last time, pinch hitting does not involve actual pinching."
"What if the catcher is cute?" asks Beatrice.

Comic

Brewster Rockit: Space Guy!

The Dogonian doctor

"We're going to test your motor skills." says a doglike humanoid doctor to Brewster. "I want you to throw this ball."
Brewster complies and the Dogonian doctor runs after it, barking.

The doctor returns with the ball and says "OK, do it again, but I want you to fake-throw it a few times first."

Moose and Molly

"How about some coffee, Babe!" asks Moose.
"Get it yourself, buster!" calls Molly.
"Molly," says Moose, in shock, "are you joking ?"
"Of course!" says Molly happily. "Now go relax, honey, while I get it!"

Comic

Apartment 3-G

As Tommie paces...

"The quickest choice would be to call an ambulance and schedule a C-section." thinks Tommie angrily, as Scott stares impassively at the back of her head.
"But that would surely put Nina into a panic." she thinks, as Scott hovers silently over Nina.
"There is another way," thinks Tommie, "but I'm totally inexperienced. Do I dare?!"
Scott cocks his head and looks confused.

Comic

Lockhorns

Leroy, groggy and unshaven, stumbles into the kitchen where Loretta sits drinking a cup of coffee. "I told you turning 'Mad Men' into a drinking game was a bad idea." she says, resignedly.

Comic

Broken computer

My hard disk died and I had to get a new one and set my computer up from scratch, so I missed a few days posts, but I should be back on schedule now.

Henry

Henry sits on a crowded train. A grey-haired lady approaches, and Henry gets up, offering her his seat. The lady sits down, and Henry sits on her lap, to the shock of the lady herself and the other passengers.

Comic