Todd the Dinosaur

Todd and Trent leave a seafood market. Trent is carrying a bag, presumably containing seafood.


"By the way, Todd," says Trent as Todd stands by the microwave waiting for his food to heat up, "whatever you do, don't ever..."

There is an Earth-shattering "ka-boom".

"...microwave fresh eels" says Trent. The microwave has been mostly destroyed, there is a large hole in the wall, Trent's clothes are damaged and he's covered in soot. Todd is also covered in soot, and somewhat stunned.




Ed gets into his car and prepares to drive. Checking the mirrors, he spots something unusual, and leans over for a closer look. His confusion gives way to fear as he reads the message engraved on the driver's-side mirror: "The end may be closer than it appears."




Marmaduke answers the door to find a woman clutching a briefcase standing there.
"Good morning." says the woman. "Is the monster of the house at..."
Marmaduke narrows his eyes threateningly.
"Lady ... " says the woman, dropping her case in sudden terror. "I said Lady of the house at home?"




"And so entropy and the arrow of time..." says an angry man on television, "will eventually cause the death of all the stars."
"Great!" says Crankshaft angrily. "More bad news."



Improving Garfield

Based on this recent Garfield strip.

Beetle Bailey

Gen. Halftrack screams, hurling his fork away and tipping back on his chair.
"What's wrong dear?" asks Mrs Halftrack, looking up from her cooking.
"My breakfast is mad at me!" says the general fearfully, staring at his plate.




Marmaduke sits on a sled on the lawn, staring in horror at something off-panel.

"Somebody's glad the hot weather is over." Phil says to his neighbour.




Marmaduke, wearing an apron and chef's hat, holds a spatula in his mouth and uses it to cook some burgers on his own personal barbecue.

"He's so fussy about his food, I decided to let him cook his own." says Phil.

No one at the barbecue seems to be particularly surprised or impressed at the dog's ability to cook like a human.




Garfield is wearing flippers, a snorkel and a diving mask.

He stands, not moving, not speaking.

"I'm not making that much gravy" says Jon.
"A cat can hope, can't he?" thinks Garfield.



Pondering The Lockhorns

Daily Ink's page on The Lockhorns says that "[The Lockhorns] gently spoofs the state of marital bliss, poking fun at the foibles of both partners" and "Their snappy repartee and witty banter has made them a perennial favorite."

Clearly whoever wrote that was thinking of some other comic.

Wikipedia says that "Leroy and Loretta ... demonstrate their mutual deep-seated hatred by making humorously sarcastic comments" which is quite different from the official line, but still doesn't really resemble the comic I'm familiar with.

I think The Comics Curmudgeon put it best back in 2009: "it's like Leroy and Loretta are in their own private circle of hell, doomed to fight it out for all eternity, with the ghostly shades of the damned watching them in stony silence."

Let's take this strip from a couple of days ago. I think we can dismiss outright the notion that this is a gentle spoof or contains anything resembling "snappy repartee" or "witty banter". But I'm also not seeing the deep-seated hatred or even humorous sarcasm.

Leroy's not saying that in a mean way, he's not getting any satisfaction out of insulting Loretta. He doesn't even seem to be aware that what he said could be taken as an insult. And Loretta doesn't seem to have taken it as such. Leroy's just giving his honest opinion.

They just don't care. Look at them. Why are they even at the bowling alley? They're clearly not having fun, they don't enjoy each other's company. They seem to be wearing uniforms, but if this is a tournament, where are the other players?

In fact, I'm starting to wonder if the bowling alley is even open for business. Presumably the damage to the door was caused just now by Loretta, but the furniture and decorations are in obvious disarray, and if there were staff present you'd expect some kind of reaction to the place being messed up like that. And that picture frame on the wall is empty.

The Lockhorns have broken into an abandoned bowling alley together, even though they clearly don't want to be there and would obviously rather be with anyone else. This is just one more way to pass the time. It won't make them less miserable, but nothing ever does.

So why not break into a bowling alley? The consequences can't possible be worse than what they're already suffering, and at least this is a change of scenery.


Mark Trail

Cherry and Andy catch up with the poachers and are trying to block their escape

"Get 'em, Andy!" yells Cherry, giving the poachers plenty of time to notice them as Andy is still several meters from the nearest of the two, and appears to be more concerned with chasing the Jackelrod than bothering the poachers.

One of the poachers is so shocked that he shifts his rifle from his right hand to his left as he turns around.
"What th'?..." he asks, throwing his rifle away for some reason as Andy playfully jumps near him.



Beetle Bailey

"Who did that?" Sgt. Snorkel asks angrily, about the picture someone has drawn of him with horn, a pig's nose and a fang.
"I don't know" says Cpl. Yo, "...but if that's his thumbprint I wouldn't confront him"
It is now revealed that beside the picture of Sgt. Snorkel is a gigantic thumbprint, roughly half a meter in height. Snorkel now appears to notice the print for the first time. How it escaped his notice up to this point, like the identity of the print's creator, remains a mystery.



Arlo and Janis

30 days hath September...

Arlo looks at a calendar.

April, June and November...

Arlo tears out the page for September and scrunches it up.

All the rest have thirty-one, Excepting February, but wait...

A snowman stands at the horizon at night.

Don't they all have twenty-eight?

Arlo hurls the paper ball at a rubbish bin and misses. He grimaces, spasms and falls down.


Improving Garfield

Based on this recent Garfield strip.



Ed walks into his garage, takes the leaf-blower, walks out into the middle of the newly-mowed and immaculate lawn and starts it up.

A torrent of yellow leaves fly from the leaf-blower, scattering across the lawn.