2012-05-31

Blondie

Dagwood is relaxing in front of the TV when his daughter Cookie comes to speak to him.

"Daddy, will you please talk to Emily for a few minutes?" she asks.
"Emily?" he responds. "I guess so... why?"
"Well, she just broke up with Kyle and wants to talk about it" says Cookie, handing him the phone.
"...I'd like you to keep her on the phone while I call Kyle to say hi" continues Cookie as she walks away, leaving Dagwood bemusedly holding the phone.

Comic

Improving Minimum Security

Based on this recent Minimum Security strip.

2012-05-30

Crankshaft

The family are having a barbecue to celebrate Memorial Day and are sitting around a table outside.

"I can't believe we're actually celebrating a Memorial Day without the fire department being here." says Pam, wonderingly.

"Maybe someone should go over and tell the Lamberts they can get out of their bunker." replies Jeff, worriedly.

Crankshaft glares daggers at them while Mindy and Rose continue to enjoy their lunch in oblivious silence.

Comic

2012-05-29

Dennis the Menace

Dennis happily rides his scooter along the footpath and smiles cheerfully at Mr Wilson as he passes.

"The kid's always on the go... he just doesn't go far enough." mutters Wilson, glaring angrily at Dennis.

Comic

Improving Mary Worth

Based on this recent Mary Worth strip.

2012-05-28

The Lockhorns

Leroy lies on the couch watching TV. It's clear that that's not what he wants to do today, you can tell by his expression that he is not happy, but he'll do it anyway, because Loretta wants to do something else, and ruining her day is all he knows how to do.

And you can see from her expression that she knows all this, but she's not going to fight it, they'll both just spend the day sitting at home watching TV shows that they hate, just like they do every day.

"What do I want to do today?" asks Leroy. "I'm doing it."

Comic

2012-05-27

Bound & Gagged

Two men are involved in a violent altercation outside a building. A sign at the front says "Tonight's - lecture - Is civility dead?"

One onlooker remarks to another "They're fighting over a parking space."

Comic

Improving Mark Trail

Based on this recent Mark Trail strip.

2012-05-26

Shoe

Roz and a customer are watching TV in the café.
"Attention passengers." says a voice on TV. "Flight 2712 has posted yet another change."
"What's on?" asks the customer.

"It's a new soap opera that takes place at an airport." says Roz, ignoring the sudden blinding flash of light. "Delays of Our Lives."

Comic

2012-05-25

Improving Garfield

Based on these recent Garfield strips.

Herman

A nurse and a doctor stand by a bed. The nurse holds a pair of feet attached to sticks, like some kind of weird stilts. A line graph hangs on the wall. On the bed sits a white card with some indistinguishable writing on it.

"He took off without paying." says one of the people present, presumably to the other.

Comic

2012-05-24

Ginger Meggs

"I heard Jugears got sent to the school nurse with an upset stomach!" says Benny, worriedly. Ginger responds with alarm to this revelation.
"What did she give him?" he asks.
"Plenty of space I guess!" replies Benny, with a sheepish grin. Ginger folds his arms and laughs.

Stupidity is not a crime. Insist they let you go.

Comic

2012-05-23

Improving Garfield

Based on this recent Garfield strip.

Scary Gary

Gary the vampire is drinking a cup of coffee, Nearby, his nominal minion Leopold sits at the table with a mug of something undoubtedly more worrying.

"Our pest control guy is back." says Gary.
"There was something about him I liked." says Leopold. Where is he?
"Outside getting his equipment." says Gary, refilling his coffee mug.

Outside, the pest control guy stands by his ute (licence plate "DIEBUG1") reverently holding a shotgun.
"My shotgun is my best friend." he says. "It is my life..."

Comic

2012-05-22

Gil Thorpe

"Darby's nice, mom. Quiet, but nice." says a blind black girl to her Chinese mother while waving a spoon about.

Her mother turns into a man before responding.
"I'm sure she is, Tasha, but she's promoting teen motherhood as a good thing!"

Later...

"I told my mom she's wrong about Darby --" says one unidentifiable person to another as they walk along the street together towards a street called "Easte?n"..
"And she didn't buy it. Same here." replies the other.

Comic

2012-05-21

Improving Mary Worth

Based on these recent Mary Worth strips.

Pluggers

Earl Houndstooth sits alone in his livingroom, as he often does (a fact evidenced by the room's furnishings, a single armchair, a lamp and a television sitting on top of a much older television), watching a fishing program, remote in hand.

"The stand for a plugger's new flat-screen TV is at least 30 years old."

Comic

2012-05-20

Ballard Street

An old lady stands in the hallway, looking down at the lamp lying broken on the floor, still attached by its power cord to the wall above the bureau it had been sitting on. The lady holds a rolled-up newspaper, its tattered edge suggesting that it has recently been used as a makeshift weapon.

An old man looks on from the next room.

"Ginger's response was primal in nature."

2012-05-18

Bizarro

A terrified man floats in the ocean, gripping a "Caution: Wet floor" sign. An eyeball floats nearby.

Comic

2012-05-17

The Lockhorns

Leroy and Loretta are sitting in a box at the theatre, watching a giant woman onstage crying out in pain or anguish. Lorretta glares at Leroy, who is slouching glumly in his seat.

"I do want to live in the moment, Loretta..." he says "just not this one."

Comic

Improving Mark Trail

Based on this recent Mark Trail strip and some old Slylock Fox strips I had lying around.

2012-05-16

Bliss

A man sits at a computer desk in an otherwise featureless white void, wearing a bluetooth headset. Behind him, a dog watches a cup of coffee hover near the desk.

"Lori, I can't talk right now" says the man, "I'm right in the middle of updating my dog's Facebook page."

Comic

Mary Worth

Later that evening...

Dr Jeff and Mary are eating some kind of pale brown sludge at The Bum Boat
"Seeing Gina and Bobby so in love gives me hope!" says Mary, wistfully.
Dr Jeff watches her with a look of resigned sadness, saying nothing.


Meanwhile, very different sentiments are expressed in the Weston apartment.

Wilbur sits before his computer, nervously clutching a mug with both hands.
A voice cries out from the next room: "Oh, god ... No!"

Comic

2012-05-15

Love is...


"love is..."


A naked humanoid with no genitals or nipples holds a spanner and stares dreamily at a smaller naked humanoid, also without genitals. The smaller humanoid is wearing a backwards baseball cap, sitting on a bicycle and smiling. On the ground nearby are two more spanners and two screwdrivers.

"...always checking over his bike before he goes cycling."

Comic

Improving Mark Trail

Based on this recent Mark trail strip, this one from last year, and also a dog answering a telephone.

2012-05-14

Zits

Jeremy sullenly plugs in a vacuum cleaner, turns it on and lifts it up, holding it against the wall of clothes blocking the doorway.

Later, his mother finds him lolling on a chair, using his phone.
"Did you vacuum your room like I asked, Jeremy?" she asks.
"Yeah." he replies. "It made a huge difference, too."

Comic

2012-05-13

Family Circus

PJ is standing in a clothes shop, thinking of his mother and crying.

"I'm right here, PJ." says Thel, from behind a counter.

PJ spins around to look up at her and grins.

"Heh-heh-- just checkin'" he thinks, tears still running down his face.

Comic

F-Minus

Two angry men sit in the rain playing chess. "Rain delay?" says one to the other, "This ain't baseball!"

Comic

Improving Rex Morgan

Based on this recent Rex Morgan MD strip.

2012-05-11

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith

"Big test today !!" thinks Jughaid, sitting at his desk, alone in a featureless room, holding a pencil and visibly panicking.

"Oh, well --  all I can do is my best !!" he thinks, cheering up.

"Or Mary Beth's...!!!" he thinks, grinning apologetically at the oblivious Mary Beth, who has just appeared in the scene along with three other students and their desks.

Comic

1000!


Improving Slylock Fox

Based on these recent Slylock Fox and Luann strips.

2012-05-10

Crock

"Oh, my hometown paper says Cousin Cronfill died" says one legionnaires sadly to another.
"Was the funeral service nice?" asks his companion, sadly.

"The headline said it was 'to die for'" answers the first legionnaires, narrowing his eyes. "Subtlety was never our editor's strong suit"

The second legionnaires gazes blankly off in another direction as though he has already forgotten that he was having a conversation.

Comic

2012-05-09

Poll

I've had a couple of people tell me that they like particular posts more than others, for different reasons, so I've created a poll to see what sort of comics you would like me to focus on.

I'm not including the Improving the Comics posts, because those I create on a whim, as inspiration strikes, and I'll continue to do that regardless of what anyone thinks, but for the Comics for the Blind posts I'm happy to accommodate you since I find entertainment in them regardless of which types of comics they are.

And no matter what the result, I'll continue to post a variety of different comics, but if something comes out as being preferred I'll try to skew it in that direction.

Questions, comments and suggestions can be posted as comments here or emailed directly to me.

Eric the Circle

A poorly-drawn footpath with a grate in the middle of it. A circle floats above the grate, the air blowing up from it deforming the bottom edge of the circle, making large ripples appear and spread up the sides. A nearby cat is startled.

"The Seven Year Itch By: Aristocat"

Comic

Improving Foob

Based on this "recent" For Better or For Worse strip.

2012-05-08

Garfield

Garfield is watching television.

"Ranger Bob, what is the secret to wilderness survival?" asks a voice on the TV.

"Well, Sidekick Rick, never stare directly at the sun..." answers another voice. "and never try to milk a badger"

"That was my favorite episode" thinks Garfield, smiling.

Comic

2012-05-07

Improving Meaning of Lila

Based on this recent Meaning of Lila strip.

B.C.

"Oops." says B.C., dropping his chicken drumstick.

"Oh, well..." he says, bending down to retrieve it, "ten-second rule."

"Not in this cave." responds Thor.

B.C., meanwhile, is distressed to find that Wolf has bitten his hand off in an overzealous attempt to eat the chicken.

Comic

2012-05-06

Liō

Liō in the year 2101

Liō is an old man. He's standing on the edge of a cliff, having a heart attack. Some space ships fly by.

Liō falls down dead.

A tube comes down from the sky towards his body.

The tube, labeled "People Recycler 9000" attempts to suck him up, but it turns out he is still alive, he was just playing a trick.

Comic

2012-05-05

Pardon My Planet

Two dogs are standing in a park. The dog on the left is wearing a spiked collar and is wagging his tail happily. The dog on the right is wearing a plain collar with a tag on it and a bow on her head. She is wagging her tail, but less vigourously.

"Oh, he's cute," she thinks, "play hard to get, tail down, a little more, but oh, he's cute, keep it down, hard to get..."

Comic

Improving Mark Trail

Based on these recent Mark Trail and Luann strips.

2012-05-04

Six Chix

Two women stand in a kitchen. One of them holds a bag of spinach, the other a glass of wine. On the bench before them is a wooden bowl, two wooden spoons and a jug containing a small amount of liquid.

"Isn't pre-washed spinach a BEAUTIFUL THING?" says one to the other, adoringly.

Comic

2012-05-03

Gil Thorpe

"No phone number needed." says Bobby. "I'll charm her on Facebook."
Dinny's only response is a grin that could best be described as Alfred E Neuman crossed with Chucky.

Later, a much more sedate Dinny sits at his computer. "Good idea, Bobby." he thinks.

Even later (the next day maybe?) Dinny approaches Amanda at the school cafeteria.
"Hi Amanda..." he says. "Bobby says Darby's not on Facebook. Got a number for her?"

Comic

Improving Rex Morgan

Based on these recent Luann and Rex Morgan strips.

2012-05-02

The Dinette Set

Joy arrives home from her shopping trip with Verla to find Burl sitting inches from the television, watching As the World Sits starring Godot.

"Awwww... poor hon!" says Joy, "Have you had lunch yet? Are you still hungry?"

"Let's just say" replies Burl icily "you can start making dinner."

Comic

Dennis the Menace

Dennis and his schoolmates arrive outside Dennis's house in the school bus. On the footpath outside the window stands Alice, staring straight ahead, silently glaring, arms crossed.

Dennis regards this scene with consternation, and many of the other children seem equally worried. Margaret, however, finds the situation amusing.

"Uh-oh." says Dennis. "Looks like my teacher sent my mom another email."

Comic

2012-05-01

Bizarro

"Are you going to the forum or the againstum?" one Roman asks another. A tiny alien watches from within his spaceship, which floats nearby.

Comic

Improving Mark Trail

Based on this recent Mark Trail strip.