Walking down the street, Henry encounters a boy painting on a fence and stops to watch. "BARGAIN" writes the boy before pausing to admire his handiwork.
"Now, if only I had something to sell!" he says. So Henry decks him.



Beetle Bailey

"I guess I have to cross this desert to get back to camp" says Pvt. Bailey, beginning to walk. "Whew!"

Heat haze rises from the burning sand that stretches on to the horizon in every direction. A few scattered clouds hold no hope of relief. In the distance, Pvt. Bailey sees another soldier coming towards him. He keeps walking.

"Hi." says the unfamiliar soldier as they reach each other.
"Hi." says Pvt. Bailey.

The two stand in silence a moment, staring at each other.

"Just go around me" says the stranger.
"No," says Pvt. Bailey, "you go around me"

As the sun sets, the two soldiers sit down on the cooling sand.

"I'll bet you're the laziest guy in the world!" says the stranger.
"Have you tried looking in the mirror?" asks Pvt. Bailey.

Soon it will be dark and the temperature will plummet. The two may not survive the freezing night, and there's still no end to the desert in sight.




"So, Phil, how was your day?" asks Shoe.
"Actually, I spent the entire day in my underwear surfing the web looking for a new job." says Phil. "My boss and co-workers were furious!"
Shoe reacts with horror, not understanding that that was a joke. Or perhaps just horrified by the image of Phil in his underwear that has come unbidden to his mind. Shoe himself is, of course, completely naked.




Marmaduke has broken into an old couple's house. He stares hungrily into the old man's eyes, holding him down so he can't escape. The man's wife stands in the doorway, powerless to intervene.

"He's trying to hypnotise me." says the old man, covering his eyes in a futile attempt to save himself. Nothing can stop Marmaduke.



Beetle Bailey

"Did Miss Buxley get me a date?" asks Sgt. Snorkel.
"Yeah, she had a hard time finding a brave girl." says Pvt. Bailey, "Here she comes now."
Miss Buxley trudges into the room dragging over her shoulder a rope that stretches back out of the room and is presumably tied to Sgt. Snorkel's date for the evening.



Improving Garfield

Based on this recent Garfield strip.

Mark Trail

With his fishing rod and lure, Mark yanks the rifle from the kidnapper.

With his fishing rod and lure, Mark yanks the rifle from the kidnapper.

"It's like I said, Juan..." says a monkey.
"We're giving the money back!" says the former kidnapper, bashing the still-a-kidnapper in the head so hard that he spins around.




Shoe is sitting naked at a bar, between two other bird-men.

"So I'm on the ledge of our apartment building, getting ready to jump 23 floors..." says one of the bird-men sadly, "and my wife pokes her head out the window and says..."

Shoes and the other bird-man listen but display no interest.

"'You're not going out in that outfit, are you?'" finishes the speaker.

Shoe is so taken aback by this turn of events that his cigar falls from his beak as he goes slack-jawed and wide-eyed in shock.