Shoe sits at the bar, cigar in hand, half-empty beer in front of him.
"Exactly where is this relationship going?" he demands, glaring.

"We're in a relationship?" asks the bird-woman beside him, glumly.
Shoe sadly switches his cigar to his other hand.

"I just thought you were stalking me." says the bird-woman, matter-of-factly.
Switching his cigar back to his left hand, Shoe leans toward the woman as though about to respond, but says nothing.



Andy Capp

Some children have created three snow sculptures of Andy, showing him first standing, then tripping, then lying on the ground. The sculptures show an impressive level of detail and seem to defy gravity.

"Flippin' kids." says Andy, exasperatedly gesturing at these amazing manifestations of skill and commitment.



Apartment 3-G

"My parents are in Aruba, Lu Ann." says Margo coldly. "Any other brilliant ideas?"
"So spend some quality time with your new boyfriend, Margo." says Lu Ann.

Margo throws her arms out theatrically in exasperation.
"Like I didn't think of that first!" she says. "Evan is out of town all week!!"

Lu Ann and Tommie exchange knowing smiles for some reason.



The "Amazing" Spider-Man

Spider-Man is hanging from the side of a building, clearly visible to anyone who so much as glances his way, his red and blue costume showing vividly against the pale brown of the wall.
"Got to figure out how Kraven plans to steal that diamond tiara!" he thinks as he watches the museum's armoured vehicle arrive.

"No one knows we're only bringing a fake to the casino!" exclaims one of the guards unnecessarily to the other as they carefully carry a small, light-weight box between them.
"- While the real tiara stays at the museum!" he finishes, presumably for the benefit of his fellow guard who already knows this.
"That's it!" thinks Spider-Man, upside-down now for no apparent reason and also somehow behind the truck, where he is completely visible to the guards, who can't be more than a couple of meters away.



The Lockhorns

Leroy sits at his desk in a tiny cubicle, separated from all human contact. A noteboard above his desk holds only blank pieces of paper. More blank paper sits on his desk. He hasn't even bothered turning his computer on. No one cares enough about him or his job for him to even bother faking it with any sincerity.

Loretta walks in through the doorway. Leroy turns wordlessly to look at her.
"So..." she says. "This is where the magic happens."



Pondering Wizard of Id

In this recent Wizard of Id strip we see Sir Rodney and the Idiot army attacking what we are told is the Huns' capital city. This is interesting for a few reasons. Firstly, the Huns no longer exist and previous strips have referred to modern events (the 2012-09-11 strip shows the wizard remembering the terrorist attacks of 2001-09-11), telling us that the story takes place in the present day, so clearly in the universe in which this takes place, the Huns still exist in the 21st century.

Also interesting is that the 21st century Huns have a capital city at all. In reality, they were nomads. This change is not surprising if they managed to last this long though.

All this does raise another question though. If this comic is set in an alternate version of the present day, what happened to reduce the level of technology so drastically? Is it just Id and surrounding nations or has the whole world plunged into some kind of horrible dark age?

I want to hear that story. Leave behind the tedious jokes about politicians being terrible and... whatever this one is, Jeff, tell us how the world came to be this way!



"Aren't you supposed to be holding the ladder?" asks Phil.
He and Marmaduke are both on the roof somehow. He seems to be addressing Marmaduke, suggesting that he entrusted his safety to a large but uncomprehending dog, and even though Phil is closest to the ladder, it seems that Marmaduke has somehow managed to get up past him without him noticing. How did Marmaduke even climb a ladder anyway? This comic raises more questions than it answers.



Cow and Boy

"Are you sure?" asks Cow. "It's a ninety-four degree slope."
He and Billy are at the top of a cliff. Billy is sitting on a sled.
"Sometimes in order to experience life, you have to cheat death." says Billy. "Now quit belly-aching and give me a..."

Cow pushes Billy off the cliff.
"PUUUUUSH!!" screams Billy as he plummets to the ground below.

"You want me to rewind the DVR?" asks Cow.
Billy, of course, does not respond.



Six Chix

"Sorry to hear about your empty nest syndrome, Sue -" says a large snake to a small bird. "Especially since I have a humongous hankering for eggs right now."

The bird, Sue, is frozen in terror.



Beetle Bailey

"Take that!" yells Sgt. Snorkel, delivering a punch powerful enough to lift Pvt. Bailey right off the ground and somehow untie and remove one of his shoes.

"Oh, Beetle!" cries Miss Buxley, as Sgt. Snorkel storms off. "You're all broken!"
"Don't worry." says Pvt. Bailey. "It's a comic strip and I'll be up and around in tomorrow's edition"



Apartment 3-G

Monday morning at the agency...

"Hello, darling ~" says Margo, gesticulating with her grossly deformed right hand. "I missed you over the weekend. Is your cold better?"
"What?" asks Evan, smiling. "Not now, Margo."

"Hey, Evan," says Margo, shrugging comically, "I sat in my stupid apartment all weekend waiting to hear from you, so at least be civil!!"
"Quit trying to guilt me, Margo!" yells Evan, petulantly.