2014-06-16

Melodrama Monday: Bullies are people who hate themselves

This week, Mary Worth met Olive, a little girl who seems to suffer from vivid hallucinations. Mary took her on a tour of the garden and showed her the roses, and Olive saw fairies amongst the flowers.

Mary Worth, 2014-06-11.

"Do you see them? The flower fairies?" asks Olive.
"Sure..." ays Mary, stifling a giggle.
"Flower fairies!" she thinks. "What an imagination this girl has!"

I guess Mary doesn't have much experience with children, because if we, the audience, hadn't been clued in by the art that the girl was hallucinating, here wouldn't seem to be anything remarkable about what that girl said. Kids talk about make-believe stuff all the time.

Combined with the way the fairies are drawn, as though actually in the scene, Mary's ludicrous over-reaction to how incredibly imaginative Olive is leads me to conclude that Olive is actually mentally ill. If this turns into a boring story of a kid who feels neglected by her busy parents I'll be very disappointed.



And the big reveal in Luann, the culmination of Bernice's secret plan with Tiffany...

Bernice got a haircut, then hid it under a wig that looked exactly like her old hair so that she could dramatically remove the wig as part of her graduation speech. That's it. I'm not even going to write this one out, it's too dumb.



In Funky Winkerbean news, Wally and Rachel got married. In the only wedding I've ever seen that could be mistaken for a funeral. And eventually (because of the rain) the ceremony was carried out in Montoni's, because that is literally the only business operating in Westview other than the comic shop.

Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-14.

"Now, where were we...?" asks the officiant.
"I do!" says Rachel.
"I do too!" Wally replies.
"Done!" says the officiant, understandably eager to be done with this and go somewhere less awful.
"I hope they'll be happy." says Holly.
"I don't see why not..." says Funky, smirking. "They don't call Montoni's 'the wedding chapel of love' for nothing!"

They don't call it that, Funky. No one calls it that.



And in Rex Morgan, Sarah stood up to a bully who then immediately backed down, because that's what happens, right? I don't know how bullies even still exist since all you have to do is stand up to them once and you solve the problem forever.

Rex Morgan, MD, 2014-06-16.

Mrs. Pierpont request to meet Sarah after watching her handle the class bully!
"You handled that pugnacious reprobate quite adroitly, Sarah!" says Mrs Pierpont, presumably in a posh English accent.
"Uh...?" says Sarah.
"Nice job on the way you handled that class bully!" explains Mrs. Pierpont, because it's funny when posh people translate their fancy words into normal-person English.
"Thank you..." says Sarah, "that's what I thought you said."

Sarah actually had no idea, she just always assumes that people are complimenting her.



Safe Havens, 2014-06-16.

Dave and Samantha meet in an airport.
"Happy anniversary!" they yell as they run toward each other.
"Wait." says Dave. "Something's —"
"I know." says Samantha. "Palmtop has a new family, and grandma's ring is on tour with Bambi. For the first time..."
"We're alone!" they say together.

Dave is conspicuously still wearing his "Google Glass device" though, so presumably they're only alone if you don't count all the people watching online.

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