Pondering Hägar the Horrible

Speaking of suits of armour, that's what Honi is wearing, right? It's weird, because no one else ever does. And she doesn't even fight anyone. If anyone were going to wear armour, you'd think it would be Hägar, not his daughter.

Beetle Bailey

"They say multi-tasking is inefficient" says Pvt. Plato.
"Tell that to Sarge" says Pvt. Bailey. "He takes multi-tasking to a w ho new level"
Sgt. Snorkel is eating a burger, talking an the phone, reading something on his computer, watching television, listening to the radio and listening to an announcement over the PA all at the same time. He also has a jug of lemonade, a tennis racquet and a bowling ball handy in case he needs to start using those too.



Apartment 3-G

"You're easy to be with Lu Ann. I feel like I can talk to you." says Cole, laughing.
"I'm glad, Cole." says Lu Ann.
"I loved the army." says Cole grimly. Serving my country was all I ever wanted to do. But I had no idea what war was really like."
Lu Ann stares at him uncomprehendingly.




"Sleep tight." says Fritzi, kissing Phil and then leaving.
Phil stares mutely at the door, and in an apparent state of shock he sits on the bed, staring glassy-eyed ahead of him. Eventually he gets into bed and turns off the light, but continues staring.
"Yeah, like I'm going to be able to sleep tonight." he thinks




Heathcliff is eating an ice-cream out of which a fish has just shot into the air.
"We've added salmon." says the ice-cream seller.



Moose and Molly

A pizza delivery man brings a pizza to the Millers' house. Moose pays him for it and calls out "Molly! The pizza you ordered is here!"
"I didn't order a pizza !" says Molly. "Yoo-hoo! Pizza man!"
"Molly, let's not be too hasty" says Moose, holding the pizza box to his chest and licking its edges in a weird and creepy manner. Also, liquid is coming out of the pizza box.



Between Friends

Before she turned fifty, Susan was able to do things she enjoyed on the basis that they were worthwhile for their own sake, but now that she is over fifty, even though she does those same things she no longer feels any joy in them and feels only bitterness and resentment, punctuated by brief periods of smug schadenfreude when she thinks about those who are still young will one day be as old as she now is and will, she presumes, also find no happiness or contentment in life.


Highlighting Snuffy Smith

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2013-07-16.
I love it when the colourists ruin the joke.


Highlighting Funky Winkerbean

Funky Winkerbean, 2013-07-16.
This is not modified in any way, it's actually what appeared in newspapers. This is a pretty bold move from Tom Batiuk. I wonder how many handwritten letters of complaint were sent to newspapers?


Beetle Bailey

"Haven't you finished my job yet?" asks Gen. Halftrack.
"I'm still working on it, sir" says Sheila.
"Well, get it done or I'll have to do it myself" says Halftrack.
"Here," says Sheila, eagerly dumping a stack of papers on the general's desk, "can I watch?"
Gen. Halftrack is horror-struck.


Highlighting Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2013-07-11.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2013-07-19.
Oh my god, look at those faces! Anyone who says Larry Lieber is not the greatest artist of all time is a liar!


Improving 9 Chickweed Lane

Based on the 9 Chickweed Lane strip for 2013-07-17.

Beetle Bailey

Sgt. Snorkel has consumed so much food in one sitting that the restaurant has decided to give him his meal for free and make a record of the dubious achievement.



Snuffy Smith

Snuffy and his friend watch a sad man cutting down trees. The trees all have hearts carved on them bearing the inscription "BT + AS".
"That's why I don't like breakups..." says Snuffy's friend. "Too much work !!"

You see, the man cutting down the trees is presumably either BT (or AS) and has recently broken up with AS (or BT), and wants to erase his messages of love, but can only think to do so by cutting down the trees on which they're written.  The idea of simply scratching the initials off has not occurred to him.




"Garfield, I am calling you..." calls a voice from inside the refrigerator.
"I am the lasagna" it says.
Garfield smiles and opens the fridge door.
"Not!" says the voice.
"Meat loaf is cruel" thinks Garfield.
Evidently the voice was actually meatloaf and not lasagne. Well, that explains everything.



Pondering Dustin

Dustin, 2013-07-13.
Oh my god why? Do you have to be a smug arsehole about everything, Ed? You couldn't possibly enjoy an evening at a nice restaurant with your wife, could you?

Hi and Lois

"Why doesn't mom help wash dishes?" asks Ditto.
"Because she cooked dinner." says Hi, morosely.
"And we ate it." says Ditto.
"We already did our share." says Dot.
Hi just glumly hands them a tea-towel and scrubbing brush.



Improving Dennis the Menace

Based on the Dennis the Menace strip for 2013-07-11.

Moose and Molly

Moose and Molly's roof is leaking quite badly.
"What should I do?" asks Moose.
"It's easy —" says Molly, holding a copy of Home Repair. "Just use this book"
Rather than using the instructions found in the book though, Moose simply nails the book over the hole in the roof.
"It isn't leaking now" says Molly.



Highlighting Dennis the Menace

Woah, actual menace!

Beetle Bailey

"And now," says Gen. Halftrack to a group of soldiers, "the award for the biggest foul-up of the week"
Before he can finish his sentence, a clown runs into the room, hurls a pie at his face, and turns to leave without saying a word.
"I said, Lt. Fuzz!" says the general, pointing at the clown, the pie still covering his face.



The Lockhorns

Loretta and Leroy are chatting amicably with some people at a party. They're both happy and having a good time.


Highlighting Wee Pals

Wee Pals, 2013-07-09.
I have no idea what this is supposed to mean, but I love it.


Pondering Apartment 3-G

Apartment 3-G, 2013-07-08.
Once again it's not clear if Lu Ann understands what words mean or what's going on at all. How is Zoey being mean here?


Heathcliff and his father are having a game of catch in the park, but instead of a ball they are using a (live?) squirrel. A man and a woman sit watching from nearby.
"Reminds me of my dad and me — except for the squirrel." says the man.



Pondering Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2013-07-01.
You know what's especially great about this? It's not even the first time. Exactly the same thing happened when he went to LA.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2007-05-10.
He remembered when he went to Miami...

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2010-02-14.
...but I guess he's forgotten again. Repeated blunt force trauma to the head can really mess you up. Oh, and in case you thought that not bringing his costume with him would at least spare him this sort of difficulty on the way back, well, you just don't understand Spider-Man.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2010-06-10.
But back to the present, and how does Spidey solve this dilemma?

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2013-07-04.
Yep, he's going to try to take an international flight with his face hidden and without showing an sort of identification. What could possibly go wrong? Well, nothing apparently, as long as you have friends in high places.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2013-07-09.

Moose and Molly

Foolishly, Clara Crabtree invites Moose Miller to help himself to the food in her refrigerator. Predictably, Moose takes full advantage of this offer.



Pondering Apartment 3-G

Apartment 3-G, 2013-07-04.
I think Lu Ann is worried that this "famous stylist" may be somehow trying to trap her inside a telephone.

Pardon My Planet

Having decided that putting up an emotional wall would be pointless, a woman has instead decided to erect a barbed-wire fence in the middle of her bed, between herself and her male companion.



Pondering Apartment 3-G

Apartment 3-G, 2013-07-01.
Men, right? You send them half way around the world, tell them never to call you and ignore their letters and emails, and just like that they move on. Bastards, the lot of them.


Mistaking the shallow pool intended for small children for the regular swimming pool, Baldo attempts to perform a "cannonball" into it. That this would be incredibly painful is certain, and serious injury seems likely.



Pondering Wee Pals

Wee Pals, 2013-07-03.
Normally if someone said "if we had a nuclear war" they'd be referring to their country or the whole world. This conversation though is specifically about who would win if Ralph, Nipper and Wellington had a nuclear war. In their neighbourhood, I guess.


"Sir!! That's not the lavatory!!" yells a panicked flight attendant as Crankshaft kills everyone on-board the aeroplane by opening the external door in flight.



Pondering Dennis the Menace

Dennis the Menace, 2013-07-01.
Dennis would probably seem a little insensitive here if he weren't five years old. I have no idea why Mr Wilson is so sad though. Is it that ship in a bottle? What special significance does it hold to him? And why have Hamilton and Ferdinand chosen to raise these questions when they clearly have no intention of answering them?

Fred Basset

Fred's female owner would like to purchase a "double deckchair", a seat large enough for two to sit on together. Fred and his male owner both believe that it will cause trouble as the male owner will be unable to set it up correctly.



Improving Shoe

Based on the Shoe strip of 2013-07-04.

Moose and Molly

"Molly," says Moose, "aunt Martha is sleeping in your brother Jack's bed!"
"That's okay!" says Molly.

Unbeknownst to Moose, Molly has already arranged for Her Brother Jack  to sleep in the bath, however he will have to get up at 6:30am as Martha likes to shower early.



Pondering Ginger Meggs

Ginger Meggs, 2013-07-01.
It's not difficult at all though. The bolded words make it pretty obvious. Also, that "comic strip character can see the speech balloons" joke has got to be one of the laziest and most over-used, aside from the classic "women, am I right?", "Some gizmo!" and "golf is hard" formulae.

Safe Havens

Panel one: Samantha is sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Dave is coming down the stairs to the kitchen.

Panel two: Dave pours himself some coffee. Samantha smiles.

Panel three: Dave and Samantha both sit at the kitchen table drinking coffee.


Improving Garfield

Based on the Garfield strip for 2013-07-02.


Arlo and Janis

Janis is in the bath. Suddenly a courier appears in the doorway asking her to sign for a package. She does so. Fortunately he has not seen any of her body below the shoulders as she is bathing in some opaque water that she learned about from Blondie and Dagwood Bumstead.



Beetle Bailey

"You didn't tell me the blind date was for Miss Blips" says Pvt. Bailey.
"And you didn't tell me the blind date you got was Zero!" says Sheila.
They seem to find this situation problematic. Behind them, privates Zero and Blips stand awkwardly looking at each other. Zero seems quite happy with the situation, but Blips appears to be having second thoughts.


Pondering Scary Gary

Scary Gary, 2013-07-01.
So the joke here is that Leopold tricks Gary into thinking that he has eaten that lost dog. It's funny because Gary believes him, even though he hasn't done it. But actually, why wouldn't Gary believe him? That's exactly the sort of thing that Leopold does all the time.

This sort of joke, where someone claims to have done something terrible only for it to be revealed that they actually didn't relies on the assumption that it's not something they would be expected to do. The whole point is in convincing the victim that the unlikely thing has in fact happened.

But in this case, although Leopold may not have eaten that particular dog, he has eaten others (and people as well). It's not really very impressive to convince Gary that he's eaten a pet dog when he's actually done it before.

I guess maybe the joke is supposed to be that Leopold is trying to maintain his image and is lying so that Gary won't think he's gone soft. But there's no indication of that, either in the form of Gary accusing him of it or Leopold appearing to be worried about it, so that seems unlikely.

Evidently it's just an example of yet another comic where a character's established traits are ignored for the sake of fitting them into a joke rather than reworking the joke to fit the existing characters.



"I think you'll be surprised how much use you'll get out of an in-home interrogation room with teenagers in the house." says a real-estate agent to some potential buyers.