2014-03-20

Sitcom Thursday: War and Ennui

Molly is on the phone.
"Mother!" she says. "Moose got a job today! Security guard on an armored truck"

Meanwhile, Moose is at work. While his coworker wasn't looking, Moose has stuffed his clothes full of money to such an extent that it is clearly visible poking out everywhere and is grinning like a loon. Money is loosely piled up inside the truck and spilling onto the ground.
"Moose —" says his colleague, "it happens to everyone the first day! Just put it back"



"When do you think the general will retire?" asks Pvt. Blips.
"Gee, I don't know" says Sheila. "And I'm not sure I could tell if he was retired!"

Gen. Halftrack might take offence to that comment if he'd heard it and actually gave half a shit about his job. But in fact he was practising his putting and not paying attention.



"We have to work tonight" says Crock.
"Whatever" replies a legionnaire indifferently.
"You say 'whatever' one more time and I'll wring your neck!" says Crock. "I'm tired of hearing it!"
"Whatever" says the legionnaire.

It's funny, because Crock will probably actually follow through on his threat and the legionnaire is so numbed by the daily horrors of war that he can no longer muster up even so much as the will to live.

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