2014-02-24

Melodrama Monday: Violence, intrigue and an awkward dinner party

While Tommie in Apartment 3-G has spent the past week keeping a baby deer in the flat and hyping up her new fiancé, and Luann's friends Bernice and Delta dither over whether or not they're going to the prom (which isn't even happening for months yet), things have been a bit more exciting in Judge Parker. Yes, I used "exciting" and "Judge Parker" in the same sentence.

Things started off in typical fashion, with Alan, the original Judge Parker, and his wife Katherine writing a screenplay which is guaranteed to make them even richer than they already are (because that's just what happens in this comic) while on a cruise to the jungle for the current Judge Parker's wedding to April, but things got a little bit weird along the way.

The Parkers won some money at the casino, but that goes without saying, the first hint of things to come was that time when it looked like April had just thrown a woman overboard. April works for the NSA, you see, and the woman was following her for some reason. But it now appears that April didn't do it. And there are more people following her.

But that only came up after they got to the jungle. They're in the jungle for the wedding, remember? Well, her father is hiding out there in this secret, hidden medical facility with armed guards, because he used to be a spy or something, and now Russian spies, who are working for some people he used to do some smuggling for, have tracked him down and are probably trying to kill him.

Also there's a drug cartel and a big spider. Meanwhile, Alan is having a lovely time and just wandering blissfully unaware through this dangerous world of spies, cartels, smugglers, mercenaries and deadly jungle creatures, secure in the knowledge that he is rich and therefore safe from all harm.

So basically what I'm saying here is that if anyone can explain to me what the hell is going on in Judge Parker right now, I would love to know.



Rex Morgan MD is much less confusing. We're just at the point where the boring build-up suddenly transforms into insane violence. Rex recently ran into Buck, an old highschool friend. It turned out that Buck's wife, Doris, had started drinking heavily and had attacked him with a drill. Rex was concerned and convinced him to call the police, which he did the other day. He made one little mistake though, in that he told her he'd done it before they arrived. While she had a knife in her hand.

Doris reacted in the calm and rational way typical of violent alcoholics, which is to say that she started yelling, threatening and waving the knife around. In yesterday's Sunday strip the police arrive and hear the commotion. Today's strip picks up with them opening the door and seeing Buck and Doris.

"Doris... no!" yells Buck, holding his briefcase up to defend himself.
"After all I've done for you!" yells Doris, stabbing the briefcase.
"Drop the knife, lady..." says one of the police officers, aiming a taser right at her head.
"This is my house!" screams Doris, lunging at the police officer. "Get out!"
Buck cowers against the wall as the second officer also raises a taser.

So in tomorrow's Rex Morgan MD either someone's getting stabbed or someone's getting tased, or, if we're really lucky, both!



Mary Worth should also be worth keeping an eye on over the next couple of weeks as Wilbur's former girlfriend Iris is back in town, with her son Tommy, the former meth dealer who's recently gotten out of jail and is looking to turn his life around. Will he go back to his old ways, or will Wilbur's sandwiches and frolicking be enough to cure him? Either way it should be pretty great. In today's strip, Wilbur, Iris and Tommy have been invited to Mary's house for dinner.

"I've heard nice things about Jefferson. What's it like?" asks Mary as Wilbur and Iris keep their eyes on Tommy. "I've never been there."
"Tommy will have a better chance of getting work in a big city like Santa Royale..." says Iris, having mistaken Santa Royale for a big city. "But Jefferson's quiet pace was wecome in light of his status change. The months we spent there were good."
"Just say it. mom/ Jefferson eased the way for this former drug dealer who finally left prison!" thinks Tommy, gritting his teeth and grimacing at the floor.
Wilbur continues to glare menacingly at Tommy throughout the conversation,.

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