This week, Dick Tracy has been looking into police corruption.
Dick Tracy, 2014-05-07.
"What's up, Tracy?" asks Sam as Dick pores through stacks of papers. "I haven't seen you hit the files like that since..."
He pauses for thought.
"Heck, I've never seen you hit the files like that. Lizz, Lee and I usually do the digging."
"I don't like what happened with the Kolossal case, Sam." says Dick.
He's probably upset that someone died horrifically and he wasn't there to see it.
"And I like what I'm finding in these related case histories even less." he continues. "I think Tabby Angus may be getting away with murder!"
So we learned that Dick Tracy really doesn't pull his weight. He just shows up in time to watch some criminals die and then leaves the paperwork for his co-workers.
The stalemate in Judge Parker hasn't really moved since last week, everyone's just been caught up on what's going on. And we found out that Flaco's wife, Li Hai, wasn't murdered by April on the cruise ship. Now Abbott's on the radio with Flaco and April's still in the jungle with her hostage.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-13.
"Li Hai's in Acapulco?" says Flaco over the radio. "I don't believe you."
Beside him Katherine is bound and gagged.
"She was detained on the ship and placed in custody in the brig!" replies Abbott. "Travelling under a phony passport is illegal in Mexico, Flaco! I assure you, Li Hai is quite safe with my federale friends!"
Hidden in the jungle listening to both sides on her stolen radio, April smiles.
And J Jonah Jameson has had the most temporary change of heart imaginable. Mere moments after shaking hands with Spider-Man he's begun thinking of ways to spin the story to put Spidey in a bad light.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-13.
"What'll the public think when the Bugle's headline denounces Spider-Man —" asks Robbie, holding up the photo of Jonah and Spidey shaking hands, "— above this photo of you two shaking hands?"
"That J. Jonah Jameson's a big enough man to salute a foe —" says Jonah, gesticulating, "— before I expose him for the hypocritical fraud he is!"
"Spidey's a hypocritical fraud!?" thinks Peter.
I know Peter's thought is supposed to be "look who's talking" type of thing, but I like to imagine he's just reacting to Jonah's statement as though it's actually a shocking revelation. "Really, Spider-Man is a hypocritical fraud? But I'm Spider-Man! Does this mean I'm a fraud?"
2014-05-12
Melodrama Monday: All the thrills of online shopping
Literally nothing has happened in Apartment 3-G or Mary Worth this week and it's just been an all-round uneventful week in the soaps. All I'm really left with for this Monday is Funky Winkerbean, so brace yourself for disappointment.
Last Monday, Holly put a bid on a comic on eBay, and was feeling pretty pleased with herself until John and Harry at Komix Korner informed her that someone would just put a bid in at the last minute to beat her.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-05-09.
Holly is sitting at her computer.
"In less than two minutes Starbuck Jones #36 will be mine!" she says to no one. "I should get an email ping if anyone outbids me."
PING! PING! PING! PING! PING! goes her computer.
"Uh-oh...!" she says.
But then she won the auction anyway. No idea how much she ended up spending, but she had to raise her bid over 30 times, so I'm guessing it's gone a bit above the $10 she was hoping to spend.
But don't worry, the exciting "buying comics online" story isn't over yet, she still has several other issues to find! I don't think the exact number has even been revealed, so this could drag on for the rest of the year, easily. I don't know about you, but I'm so excited I can hardly keep my eyes open.
Last Monday, Holly put a bid on a comic on eBay, and was feeling pretty pleased with herself until John and Harry at Komix Korner informed her that someone would just put a bid in at the last minute to beat her.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-05-09.
Holly is sitting at her computer.
"In less than two minutes Starbuck Jones #36 will be mine!" she says to no one. "I should get an email ping if anyone outbids me."
PING! PING! PING! PING! PING! goes her computer.
"Uh-oh...!" she says.
But then she won the auction anyway. No idea how much she ended up spending, but she had to raise her bid over 30 times, so I'm guessing it's gone a bit above the $10 she was hoping to spend.
But don't worry, the exciting "buying comics online" story isn't over yet, she still has several other issues to find! I don't think the exact number has even been revealed, so this could drag on for the rest of the year, easily. I don't know about you, but I'm so excited I can hardly keep my eyes open.
2014-05-09
Philosophical Friday: Anger, Disgust and Curiosity
 |
| Nancy, 2014-05-06. |
Turning now to something that horrifies me for completely different reasons, a post on the Something Awful forums recently mentioned the existence of a Kevin & Kell roleplaying game. For those not familiar with Kevin & Kell, consider yourself lucky. This part of the description for the RPG gives some idea of the horror.
A world somewhat like our own, where there are no humans and every animal under the sun is sentient, where predator and prey dance endlessly in a waltz of death, and where the love between a rabbit and a wolf may offer the world's last, best hope.
It's a light-hearted sit-com where people murder each other all the time and the only people who think there's anything wrong with that are considered to be terrorists. But it's OK because none of the main characters get murdered. Some of them do the murdering though. In fact, some of them work for a company that specialises in murder for those who can't be bothered killing their neighbours themselves. And this is just casually mixed in with the usual sort of jokes about tech support and relationships.
So I kind of really want to know what this game is like, but I'm glad it's out of stock, because otherwise I might be tempted to actually buy it, and I'm sure that that would not be a good use of my money.
2014-05-08
Sitcom Thursday: Medieval Attitudes About Women
Shoe, 2014-05-05.
"Biz, are you wearing your dentures?..." asks Roz.
"No." says Biz.
"Well, let me get you something you can sink your tooth into."
Both of them are birds.
I know I just covered this with Pluggers yesterday, but come on, birds with teeth again?
Hägar the Horrible, 2014-05-06.
"Sir Knight !" call Hägar. "We haven't seen you in ages ! Come sneak up with us on an enemy castle!"
"I've been out of commission for so long I might be a liability!" answers Knight.
"He's right..." says Lucky Eddie, noticing that Knight's armour squeaks when he moves. "He might!"
Given that Knight is wearing full plate armour and a helmet that covers his face, how did Hägar know it was him? And is his name really Sir Knight? Also, he seems pretty cavalier about joining a group of Vikings to attack some castle.
Curtis, 2014-05-08.
"Number one, never take your lady for granted" says Greg.
Curtis listens wearily.
"Number one, give her little gifts for no reason..." continues Greg. "Number one, never have another woman's number saved on your phone..."
Curtis slumps forward.
"Number one, make her feel that without her, your life would be trash"
"We've been at this for two hours, dad!" complains Curtis. "When does this list end?"
"Hey, we're past the halfway mark!" says Greg, smugly.
On no account should you ever make the mistake of thinking of a woman as a human being like yourself. They're more like robots. You just have to know the rules and follow them to get what you want.
Ah, and one of those rules is that you can't have any female friends, apparently. Or colleagues you might need to phone. Not that that should be a problem, because why would you have female friends? As though a man could ever have any reason to associate with a woman he doesn't want to have sex with. Absurd. And as for the work colleague thing, why would you need to phone your secretary? And if you do, just call your own office and she'll answer.
Marvin & Family, 2014-05-08.
"Where are you going, Jeff?" asks Jenny.
"It's a little too close to Mother's Day to answer that question" says Jeff, leaving the house.
"You told Jenny you're Mother's Day shopping?" asks Ted later at the pub.
"I never actually said that" smirks Jeff.
Hey, he might have deliberately deceived her by making a misleading statement, but there's no way anyone could equate that with lying, right? Besides, how is a man supposed to get some time to spend with his friends if he doesn't lie to his nagging wife, right guys?
Wizard of Id, 2014-05-08.
A prisoner hangs by his wrists in the castle dungeon.
"I'll not talk without my lawyer present" he says.
In the second panel a man in a top hat is hanging next to him.
"Thanks a heap, friend!" says the new arrival.
The implication is that the second man is the first man's lawyer, and so he has been arrested as a deliberate misinterpretation of the prisoner's demand.
"Biz, are you wearing your dentures?..." asks Roz.
"No." says Biz.
"Well, let me get you something you can sink your tooth into."
Both of them are birds.
I know I just covered this with Pluggers yesterday, but come on, birds with teeth again?
Hägar the Horrible, 2014-05-06.
"Sir Knight !" call Hägar. "We haven't seen you in ages ! Come sneak up with us on an enemy castle!"
"I've been out of commission for so long I might be a liability!" answers Knight.
"He's right..." says Lucky Eddie, noticing that Knight's armour squeaks when he moves. "He might!"
Given that Knight is wearing full plate armour and a helmet that covers his face, how did Hägar know it was him? And is his name really Sir Knight? Also, he seems pretty cavalier about joining a group of Vikings to attack some castle.
Curtis, 2014-05-08.
"Number one, never take your lady for granted" says Greg.
Curtis listens wearily.
"Number one, give her little gifts for no reason..." continues Greg. "Number one, never have another woman's number saved on your phone..."
Curtis slumps forward.
"Number one, make her feel that without her, your life would be trash"
"We've been at this for two hours, dad!" complains Curtis. "When does this list end?"
"Hey, we're past the halfway mark!" says Greg, smugly.
On no account should you ever make the mistake of thinking of a woman as a human being like yourself. They're more like robots. You just have to know the rules and follow them to get what you want.
Ah, and one of those rules is that you can't have any female friends, apparently. Or colleagues you might need to phone. Not that that should be a problem, because why would you have female friends? As though a man could ever have any reason to associate with a woman he doesn't want to have sex with. Absurd. And as for the work colleague thing, why would you need to phone your secretary? And if you do, just call your own office and she'll answer.
Marvin & Family, 2014-05-08.
"Where are you going, Jeff?" asks Jenny.
"It's a little too close to Mother's Day to answer that question" says Jeff, leaving the house.
"You told Jenny you're Mother's Day shopping?" asks Ted later at the pub.
"I never actually said that" smirks Jeff.
Hey, he might have deliberately deceived her by making a misleading statement, but there's no way anyone could equate that with lying, right? Besides, how is a man supposed to get some time to spend with his friends if he doesn't lie to his nagging wife, right guys?
Wizard of Id, 2014-05-08.
A prisoner hangs by his wrists in the castle dungeon.
"I'll not talk without my lawyer present" he says.
In the second panel a man in a top hat is hanging next to him.
"Thanks a heap, friend!" says the new arrival.
The implication is that the second man is the first man's lawyer, and so he has been arrested as a deliberate misinterpretation of the prisoner's demand.
2014-05-07
One-Panel Wednesday: As rare as hen's teeth
The Lockhorns, 2014-05-05.
Leroy spots a sign in a window — "SIGN UP FOR OUR 10K CHALLENGE". He stops to consider it.
"Forget it, Leroy..." says Loretta, tiredly. "'K' is for kilometers, not 'kegs.'"
Ballard Street, 2014-05-05.
Roger is hanging by his hands from a clamp that he has affixed to a door-frame. At his feet a number of other clamps are scattered about. A dog is investigating them.
"Clamps are not a proper area of interest, Roger." says his wife.
Heathcliff, 2014-05-05.
Heathcliff and Garfield stand facing each other on an empty street.
"ShIt just got real." says one bird to another.
Pluggers, 2014-05-05.
Henrietta Beak is sitting in her car.
"Uh oh." she says, looking at the calendar she keeps on the dash. "I forgot I have a dentist appointment Friday. I better start flossing tonight."
A plugger continues to put a stick-on calendar she got from her bank onto her car's dashboard, even though she has three calendars on her cellphone.
Henrietta Beak is a chicken. She doesn't have teeth. Why is she going to a dentist? She is a chicken!
Leroy spots a sign in a window — "SIGN UP FOR OUR 10K CHALLENGE". He stops to consider it.
"Forget it, Leroy..." says Loretta, tiredly. "'K' is for kilometers, not 'kegs.'"
Ballard Street, 2014-05-05.
Roger is hanging by his hands from a clamp that he has affixed to a door-frame. At his feet a number of other clamps are scattered about. A dog is investigating them.
"Clamps are not a proper area of interest, Roger." says his wife.
Heathcliff, 2014-05-05.
Heathcliff and Garfield stand facing each other on an empty street.
"
Pluggers, 2014-05-05.
Henrietta Beak is sitting in her car.
"Uh oh." she says, looking at the calendar she keeps on the dash. "I forgot I have a dentist appointment Friday. I better start flossing tonight."
A plugger continues to put a stick-on calendar she got from her bank onto her car's dashboard, even though she has three calendars on her cellphone.
Henrietta Beak is a chicken. She doesn't have teeth. Why is she going to a dentist? She is a chicken!
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