Sitcom Thursday: Strips that annoyed me this week

Family Tree, 2014-07-28.

"Mo-om! No way are we going on a whole week's trip with nana!" says the red-haired girl.
The yellow-haired woman smiles condescendingly. "She'll take you wherever you want to go. Just name it!"
"OK." says the girl. "Let's go on the grand tour!"
"Perfect!" says the white-haired woman. "Grand Rapids, Grand Forks and Grand Junction."
"Not even the Grand Ole Opry?" asks the red-haired girl in disbelief.
The yellow-haired woman stares blankly into the distance, clearly thinking about something else.

---

First let me address the matter of names. I know that these characters have names, and I know that four of the strip's characters are called Ames, Maggie, Twig and Teddy, but I have no ideas who is called what. I went back through the archives a few months and all I discovered was that the boy (who is not in this particular strip) is named Teddy.

It does sound unnatural when characters call each other by name all the time, but there's a reason comic strips do it. It's not because the authors actually think people talk that way, it's so that the reader can work out what everyone's name is.

But the actual reason I posted this strip was the red-haired girl's bizarre request to go on "the grand tour". That's not a thing. No one would make that request. She clearly only said that to set up the response from the white-haired woman. And the joke only works if we assume that "the grand tour" is some specific thing and the white-haired woman is deliberately misinterpreting, but it isn't.

Also, why did yellow-haired woman volunteer white-haired woman to take red-haired girl and Teddy wherever they want? White-haired woman may already have been planning something, she didn't know. And what's with the emphasis on the word "the"?

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B.C. 2014-07-29.

Thor is standing behind a rock on which "travel agent" has been written.
"I'd like to travel to a place that likes Americans" says BC.
"I hear Wyoming is nice this time of year." says Thor.

---

I don't care whether they're in the past or the future (it's definitely the future though), there is no way this strip makes sense within the setting.

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Big Nate, 2014-07-30.

"Ooh, this is one of my favorite 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' episodes!" says Nate. "It's the one where -"
Francis interrupts him. "Hold it! I bet I know! Either there's a disruption of the space-time continuum, or a member of the crew is possessed by an alien entity! ... or both! It's both, isn't it?"
"Lucky guess." says Nate, grumpily.
"And... uh-oh! I feel a warp core breach coming on!"

---

Do you get the impression that Lincoln Pierce doesn't like Star Trek? Although I like TNG, I admit that there are certainly some things that are pretty easy to criticise about it. Francis's complaint in this strip isn't one of them though. The things he mentions did happen in the show, but not with the sort of monotonous regularity implied. The only episode I can think of that combines the elements mentioned is Cause and Effect from season 5, and I don't think that had a warp core breach.

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Freshly Squeezed, 2014-07-31.

"And another thing - - the way mom treats dad." says Liz. "You'd think he was her child instead of her husband, the way she coddles him. Letting him eat whatever he wants, watch any sport on TV, doing his laundry and dishes... honestly, is that any way to run a marriage?"
"Uh..." says Sam.

---

Apparently Liz thinks that a mother should let her children eat whatever they want and watch whatever they want on TV? And that a wife shouldn't let her husband do those things?

Philosophical Friday: Nagging Wives

Freshly Squeezed, 2014-07-07.

Yeah yeah yeah, shoplifting bad, important lessons, etc. but what the hell is that thing he stole? It looks like one of those shitty fake gameboy things that only play one terrible game because the screen just has certain pre-defined shapes on it like a calculator. What those cost is about $2, surely? Do they even make those any more?

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Hi and Lois, 2014-07-08.

Marvin, 2014-07-08.

Ballard Street, 2014-07-11.

Husbands, always storing useless junk!
Wives, always throwing away treasured possessions!

Never the other way around, you may notice. And there's no chance of any sort of negotiation or compromise or even just talking to each other like grown adults who respect each other. Because men are disgusting slobs who will happily live in filth and women are joyless nags who exist to impose neatness and cleanliness on men. Obviously.

Sitcom Thursday: Bad Comics with Bad Opinions

The Grizzwells, 2014-06-30.

"Be honest..." says Pierpoint. "Does it bother you when I'm constantly apologizing for one thing or another?"
"Actually..." says Gunther, "it drives me crazy"
"I'm sorry to hear that" says Pierpoint.

---

That's not an apology though. He should have jusat said "Oh. Sorry." That would have been an apology. "I'm sorry to hear that" means you feel sympathy or pity, not that you're taking responsibility for something.

Also, you know that thing some people do where they tell you about something bad that's happened and you say "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." and they say "It's not your fault."? I hate that. The word "sorry" has more than one meaning. I wasn't implying that I killed your grandmother, I was expressing sympathy, you dickhead.

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Dustin, 2014-07-01.

Meg is wearing clothes that reveal her arms, most of her legs and her stomach.
"I got this to wear for our fourth of July cookout." she says. "Are we going to have fireworks?"
"Yes..." says Helen. "Right after your father sees that outfit."

---

It's funny because Meg thought she could spend her own money to buy clothes that she likes and then wear them, but it turns out that she's female. Ha ha!

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Freshly Squeezed, 2014-06-30.

"Oh great!" says Sam sarcastically. "My credit card may have been compromised, so they sent us a new one. It'll take me hours to change the number for all the bills I pay online."
"In my day, we had a simple, secure way of paying for stuff." says Irv, smugly. "We called it 'cash.'"
"I've heard of that." says Sam.

---

Yeah, there's absolutely no way to steal cash from someone. You'd have to have some method of physically moving small objects and a method of coercion, perhaps involving the threat of violence. There's no way criminals could ever manage it.