Showing posts with label Zits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zits. Show all posts

2014-04-17

Sitcom Thursday: Two dumb comics and an inappropriate one

Hey, did you know it's tax time in America? Well, for those Americans who forgot about it, fortunately every single comic is here to remind you. Although many of them have absolutely no clue how taxes work. Take Blondie for example.

Blondie, 2014-04-15.

"April 15th is here, Bumstead!" says Julius, coyly. "Did you want to thank me for something?"
"Nope!" says Dagwood. "I have my pride!!"
He returns to his desk and sits down. Julius follows.
"I'd rather get dragged through a carwash by my cowlicks!"
"Oh, just say it!" implores Julius.
"Okaay!!!" screams Dagwood, dropping to his knees in supplication. "Thank you for keeping me in the lowest possible tax bracket!!!"
"Atta boy!" says Julius.

Taxes don't fucking work like that! Being paid less is not better! This idea that higher taxes on higher incomes means it's not worth earning more is utter fucking bullshit that totally ignores the way income tax is calculated!



Beetle Bailey, 2014-04-16.

"What's Miss Buxley doing out here?" asks Gen. Halftrack.
"Attempting to fellate a tank." says Maj. Greenbrass.
"Beetle's driving a tank in today's war games" says Maj. Greenbrass.
"Good luck, Beetle" says Sheila, kissing a tank's gun.
"Thanks Bux" says Pvt. Bailey, from within the tank.



Zits, 2014-04-14.

"Mrs, Duncan! Is that you in this photo?" asks Sara.
"Yes." says Connie. "It's from summer camp when I was about your age."
"I love the filter you used to give it that faded, old-timey look!" says Sara.
"Filter??" says Connie, incredulously.
"Just take it as a compliment and move on." says Walt, resignedly.

Seriously? This is just dumb.

2012-09-01

Zits

"... so then you can just go to image > pixel aspect ratio > custom pixel aspect ratio, then..." rambles Jeremy nonsensically, effortlessly pronouncing two greater-than symbols.

A deer with Walt's face stands beside a road, staring blankly at the reader, its antlers like two grasping hands raised to the sky.

"You're getting that look again." says Jeremy.
"What look?" asks Walt.

Comic

2012-06-13

Zits

"I'll have a #1 combo with fries and a shake." says Jeremy to a woman with a notepad.
"Same for me but with cold slaw." says Sara.

The woman vanishes and their menus are replaced with glasses of water with straws.
"Cole slaw" says Jeremy.
"Ezackly." says Sara. "Cold slaw is my Achilles' Tooth."

Suddenly the glasses are gone and Sara is eating a bowl of indistinct green stuff.
"I love this girl!" thinks Jeremy.
"Did I say something funny?" asks Sara, between bites.

Comic

2012-05-14

Zits

Jeremy sullenly plugs in a vacuum cleaner, turns it on and lifts it up, holding it against the wall of clothes blocking the doorway.

Later, his mother finds him lolling on a chair, using his phone.
"Did you vacuum your room like I asked, Jeremy?" she asks.
"Yeah." he replies. "It made a huge difference, too."

Comic