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Showing posts with label Judge Parker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Judge Parker. Show all posts
2014-09-17
Melodrama Someday: Why is nothing happening?
Apartment 3-G is still just talk, talk talk. Jack's back now, and there's something wrong with his horse, but who gives a shit? Nothing is happening. Where is Margo? I'd even settle for Lu Ann. Just anything that gets us away from Tommie and Carol. I'm not even going to do a particular strip here, there is literally nothing to comment on. Moving on.
Mary Worth has finally finished the wrap-up and recap of the psychic Olive (prophet of the Lord) story with the conclusion that she's not psychic or anything, just intuitive, and Mary will definitely keep in touch with her (she definitely will not). The new story has started, but nothing has actually happened yet, so...
Nothing is happening in Luann either. We cut away from Rosa and Gunther (thank god), but in their place we got Luann and Bernice doing nothing and not revealing Bernice's mysterious new roommate, and now we're back with Bwad and Toni and TJ's insurance fraud, which sounds fun in theory, but nothing is actually happening. TJ just got the money and Bwad is still being all passive-aggressive about his suspicions, but TJ hasn't actually bought anything yet and Bwad is too spineless to actually confront him, so I guess this is going nowhere.
In Judge Parker, Neddy and Sam have met with Rocky and obviously he is absolutely thrilled to give her free use of his property to start her business because that's just how things work in this comic. And we've heard that there may be some ongoing drama with Godiva, but she hasn't actually been in the strip at all so it's just been boring people talking about something interesting that may or may not be happening off-screen.
But here's something. Sally Forth is actually dipping it's toe into the soap-opera genre this week, as it does from time to time. Alice, Sally's co-worker (and only friend) Alice has been looking for a new job, leaving Sally feeling conflicted. On the one hand, she doesn't want to hold Alice back, but she feels that their friendship probably won't survive if they don't see each other at work.
Sally is at her desk, writing something with a pen on paper like a caveman. Alice walks in.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" says Sally.
Alice remains silent.
"Did... did the mood just change in this room?" asks Sally, looking around. "Is there a switch for that kind of thing?"
"I got a job offer." says Alice.
OK, it's not much, but honestly I have never seen the soap strips be so boring all at the same time like this before. There's usually something happening!
Mary Worth has finally finished the wrap-up and recap of the psychic Olive (prophet of the Lord) story with the conclusion that she's not psychic or anything, just intuitive, and Mary will definitely keep in touch with her (she definitely will not). The new story has started, but nothing has actually happened yet, so...
Nothing is happening in Luann either. We cut away from Rosa and Gunther (thank god), but in their place we got Luann and Bernice doing nothing and not revealing Bernice's mysterious new roommate, and now we're back with Bwad and Toni and TJ's insurance fraud, which sounds fun in theory, but nothing is actually happening. TJ just got the money and Bwad is still being all passive-aggressive about his suspicions, but TJ hasn't actually bought anything yet and Bwad is too spineless to actually confront him, so I guess this is going nowhere.
In Judge Parker, Neddy and Sam have met with Rocky and obviously he is absolutely thrilled to give her free use of his property to start her business because that's just how things work in this comic. And we've heard that there may be some ongoing drama with Godiva, but she hasn't actually been in the strip at all so it's just been boring people talking about something interesting that may or may not be happening off-screen.
But here's something. Sally Forth is actually dipping it's toe into the soap-opera genre this week, as it does from time to time. Alice, Sally's co-worker (and only friend) Alice has been looking for a new job, leaving Sally feeling conflicted. On the one hand, she doesn't want to hold Alice back, but she feels that their friendship probably won't survive if they don't see each other at work.
Sally is at her desk, writing something with a pen on paper like a caveman. Alice walks in.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" says Sally.
Alice remains silent.
"Did... did the mood just change in this room?" asks Sally, looking around. "Is there a switch for that kind of thing?"
"I got a job offer." says Alice.
OK, it's not much, but honestly I have never seen the soap strips be so boring all at the same time like this before. There's usually something happening!
2014-08-24
Weekend Workshop: Photobombing
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| Based on Nancy, 2014-08-10 (and some other Nancy strips). |
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| Based on Judge Parker, 2014-08-21. |
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| Based on Mary Worth, 2014-08-22 (and another Mary Worth strip). |
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| Based on Nancy, 2014-08-22. |
2014-07-28
Melodrama Monday: I soon may have to move Mary Worth to Tuesdays
Incredible development in Mary Worth, this week. As you may recall, Olive, the young Prophet of the Lord, has a cyst and her parents took her to the hospital where the Devil (disguised as a doctor) made an appointment with them to remove it. Olive was naturally terrified by this prospect, so the night before the appointment, while her parents slept, Olive snuck out to hide.
Foolishly, she failed to heed the words of the angel who had appeared to her several nights earlier and decided that the swimming pool was the ideal hiding spot. But at that moment, Mary awoke from a disturbing dream, a dream in which Olive flailed helplessly in the Charterstone pool...
Mary Worth, 2014-07-28.
Because of their strong connection, Mary senses Olive is struggling in the pool!
Mary wastes no time but runs out to the swimming pool and dives in, catching Olive by the hand and dragging her back to the surface.
"Mary!" thinks Olive.
"Olive!" thinks Mary.
So Mary Worth is psychic now. Olive was warned by an angel to stay away from the pool, and she failed to heed the advice and would have died if not for Mary magically sensing the danger. This is canon. Either that or Olive is psychic and sent a distress signal to Mary. Obviously I'm hoping that Mary is psychic though, because that could completely alter the premise of the comic forever. Even just the explicit confirmation that Mary Worth takes place in a world in which angels, fairies and psychics actually exist is pretty great though. As is this panel:
Remember how Judge Parker was really exciting and involved blood diamonds, disgruntled mercenaries and shoot-outs in the jungle just a few weeks ago? Forget that, that's done now. Now we're onto the good stuff. Rich people making money.
Neddy's back from France, you see, and she has an idea for a new business. She wants to design and make dresses. Sam has doubts about the potential of a clothes factory in America, what with workers wanting to be paid more than $1 a week and all, but Neddy has a plan.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-28.
Neddy explains her strategy to involve Godiva Danube in the new clothing line!
"She's looking for a company to maker her clothes, but doesn't want them made offshore!" says Neddy.
"Sam said it's too expensive to make garments here!" says Abbey.
"Not if you hire senior citizens..." says Neddy. "they already have health care and pensions!"
"Neddy, why didn't you tell Sam all this an hour ago?" asks Abbey.
See, it's fine. She's just going to exploit the elderly. I can't see a problem with that. And for those who may not know, Godiva Danube is a celebrity, whom the Spencer-Drivers met a while back when they sold her a horse. Also she's married to another celebrity with an equally stupid name, Rocky Ledge.
Apartment 3-G is still on this story about Tommie and the horse vet, minus the horse vet, so Tommie been spending some time with Carol. The two of them have gone from hating each other for no reason to liking each other for no reason and they decided to take a mid-morning break. Tommie apparently has never had a margarita before so Carol offers to make her one.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-21.
Later, on the shady porch...
"That was delicious, Carol." says Tommie. "I feel great!"
"A margarita on a hot day is perfection!" says Carol, staring vacantly past Tommie.
"So may I have another?" asks Tommie, seriously.
"Sure." says Carol, blankly. "But wait a while, Tommie. You don't want to get loopy."
Leaving aside the bizarre facial expressions (which can be explained away by Frank Bolle's usual level of care and attention), I get the impression that Tommie is totally unfamiliar with the effects of alcohol. Perhaps any drink other than water would normally just be too exciting for her to handle.
The second margarita didn't seem to make her "loopy", but it did get Carol talking. Turns out Jack's wife died. I'm pretty sure we already knew that, but Tommie didn't so we got to hear it all over again. And yes, that was two whole weeks of strips and all that happened was that Tommie and Carol drank two margaritas each and had a conversation that can be summarised as "Jack was married but she died." "Oh, I didn't know that."
Crankshaft has had a bit of an ongoing plot this week as Ed has been chosen for jury duty. In reality, of course, he would be disqualified almost instantly, but that wouldn't be funny. It's not funny anyway, but, you know.
The defendant was accused of starting a fire in his back yard and damaging the neighbours' property, something that Crankshaft does himself on a regular basis, so he interrupted the trial repeatedly to add his own support to the defence. After only one week of strips though it's time for the jury to deliberate.
Crankshaft, 2014-07-28.
"Okay..." says the foreman. "The result of the first vote is eleven guilty... and one not guilty."
Everyone turns to glare at Crankshaft.
"What?" he asks, shrugging.
Given that this is the Monday strip I guess we can look forward to this lasting until Saturday.
Foolishly, she failed to heed the words of the angel who had appeared to her several nights earlier and decided that the swimming pool was the ideal hiding spot. But at that moment, Mary awoke from a disturbing dream, a dream in which Olive flailed helplessly in the Charterstone pool...
Mary Worth, 2014-07-28.
Because of their strong connection, Mary senses Olive is struggling in the pool!
Mary wastes no time but runs out to the swimming pool and dives in, catching Olive by the hand and dragging her back to the surface.
"Mary!" thinks Olive.
"Olive!" thinks Mary.
So Mary Worth is psychic now. Olive was warned by an angel to stay away from the pool, and she failed to heed the advice and would have died if not for Mary magically sensing the danger. This is canon. Either that or Olive is psychic and sent a distress signal to Mary. Obviously I'm hoping that Mary is psychic though, because that could completely alter the premise of the comic forever. Even just the explicit confirmation that Mary Worth takes place in a world in which angels, fairies and psychics actually exist is pretty great though. As is this panel:
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| Panel from Mary Worth, 2014-07-28. |
Remember how Judge Parker was really exciting and involved blood diamonds, disgruntled mercenaries and shoot-outs in the jungle just a few weeks ago? Forget that, that's done now. Now we're onto the good stuff. Rich people making money.
Neddy's back from France, you see, and she has an idea for a new business. She wants to design and make dresses. Sam has doubts about the potential of a clothes factory in America, what with workers wanting to be paid more than $1 a week and all, but Neddy has a plan.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-28.
Neddy explains her strategy to involve Godiva Danube in the new clothing line!
"She's looking for a company to maker her clothes, but doesn't want them made offshore!" says Neddy.
"Sam said it's too expensive to make garments here!" says Abbey.
"Not if you hire senior citizens..." says Neddy. "they already have health care and pensions!"
"Neddy, why didn't you tell Sam all this an hour ago?" asks Abbey.
See, it's fine. She's just going to exploit the elderly. I can't see a problem with that. And for those who may not know, Godiva Danube is a celebrity, whom the Spencer-Drivers met a while back when they sold her a horse. Also she's married to another celebrity with an equally stupid name, Rocky Ledge.
Apartment 3-G is still on this story about Tommie and the horse vet, minus the horse vet, so Tommie been spending some time with Carol. The two of them have gone from hating each other for no reason to liking each other for no reason and they decided to take a mid-morning break. Tommie apparently has never had a margarita before so Carol offers to make her one.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-21.
Later, on the shady porch...
"That was delicious, Carol." says Tommie. "I feel great!"
"A margarita on a hot day is perfection!" says Carol, staring vacantly past Tommie.
"So may I have another?" asks Tommie, seriously.
"Sure." says Carol, blankly. "But wait a while, Tommie. You don't want to get loopy."
Leaving aside the bizarre facial expressions (which can be explained away by Frank Bolle's usual level of care and attention), I get the impression that Tommie is totally unfamiliar with the effects of alcohol. Perhaps any drink other than water would normally just be too exciting for her to handle.
The second margarita didn't seem to make her "loopy", but it did get Carol talking. Turns out Jack's wife died. I'm pretty sure we already knew that, but Tommie didn't so we got to hear it all over again. And yes, that was two whole weeks of strips and all that happened was that Tommie and Carol drank two margaritas each and had a conversation that can be summarised as "Jack was married but she died." "Oh, I didn't know that."
Crankshaft has had a bit of an ongoing plot this week as Ed has been chosen for jury duty. In reality, of course, he would be disqualified almost instantly, but that wouldn't be funny. It's not funny anyway, but, you know.
The defendant was accused of starting a fire in his back yard and damaging the neighbours' property, something that Crankshaft does himself on a regular basis, so he interrupted the trial repeatedly to add his own support to the defence. After only one week of strips though it's time for the jury to deliberate.
Crankshaft, 2014-07-28.
"Okay..." says the foreman. "The result of the first vote is eleven guilty... and one not guilty."
Everyone turns to glare at Crankshaft.
"What?" he asks, shrugging.
Given that this is the Monday strip I guess we can look forward to this lasting until Saturday.
2014-07-07
Melodrama Monday: It's been a week of surprises
A new character has entered Apartment 3-G this week. The comic that is, not the apartment itself. Tina Grant, a woman whom we're told never shuts up. Tommie mentioned that she was "just getting milk for baby" and Tina instantly showed interest. Tommie, of course, did not bother to clarify that she was talking about a baby deer, even when Tina asked "How old is your darling child?" Apparently it's been four months since Tommie found that thing.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-07.
"May I see your baby, Tommie?" asks Tina.
"Oh, sure, Tina." says Tommie. "Lily must be around here somewhere."
"You're joking, right?" asks Tina, growing concerned.
Even knowing that Lily is a deer, I'm still a little surprised that she's just wandering freely around the farm (or whatever this place is).
Also surprising is the fact that Mary Worth continues to accept that Olive is receiving messages from God.
Mary Worth, 2014-07-04.
As Mary and Olive walk Charterstone grounds, Olive suddenly pulls Mary back.
"Watch out!" yells Olive.
"W-what?" stammers Mary.
A few seconds later, a branch suddenly falls.
"Whoa!" says Mary.
"Yeah." says Olive.
Are Mary and Olive doing a Bill & Ted impression at the end there? And is Olive actually psychic and receiving genuine messages from God? It's looking more and more likely!
Or maybe there's been a gas leak or something.
Perhaps the most surprising development though is in Judge Parker, where one of the main characters just received a whole lot of money out of the blue. I'm kidding, of course, there's nothing surprising about that at all.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-07.
As Abbey reads Katherine's email to Sam, Neddy returns from a morning in town!
"Are you sure it's a check?" asks Sam, as though there was ever any doubt.
"Yes, it's a repayment for my loan to Ross and Thalia..." says Neddy. "One hundred and twenty thousand smackers... paid in full! Plus interest!"
"That's great, Ned! I'll deposit it for you this afternoon!"
Neddy has never worked a day in her life.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-07.
"May I see your baby, Tommie?" asks Tina.
"Oh, sure, Tina." says Tommie. "Lily must be around here somewhere."
"You're joking, right?" asks Tina, growing concerned.
Even knowing that Lily is a deer, I'm still a little surprised that she's just wandering freely around the farm (or whatever this place is).
Also surprising is the fact that Mary Worth continues to accept that Olive is receiving messages from God.
Mary Worth, 2014-07-04.
As Mary and Olive walk Charterstone grounds, Olive suddenly pulls Mary back.
"Watch out!" yells Olive.
"W-what?" stammers Mary.
A few seconds later, a branch suddenly falls.
"Whoa!" says Mary.
"Yeah." says Olive.
Are Mary and Olive doing a Bill & Ted impression at the end there? And is Olive actually psychic and receiving genuine messages from God? It's looking more and more likely!
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| Panel from Mary Worth, 2014-07-07. |
Perhaps the most surprising development though is in Judge Parker, where one of the main characters just received a whole lot of money out of the blue. I'm kidding, of course, there's nothing surprising about that at all.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-07.
As Abbey reads Katherine's email to Sam, Neddy returns from a morning in town!
"Are you sure it's a check?" asks Sam, as though there was ever any doubt.
"Yes, it's a repayment for my loan to Ross and Thalia..." says Neddy. "One hundred and twenty thousand smackers... paid in full! Plus interest!"
"That's great, Ned! I'll deposit it for you this afternoon!"
Neddy has never worked a day in her life.
2014-06-11
Action Tuesday: Africa⁉
Dick Tracy is finally investigating Annie's disappearance! After teasing it for so long, Staton and Curtis finally had Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks meet with Tracy yesterday, and today they're going to meet with someone who Warbucks believes has information on Annie's whereabouts.
Dick Tracy, 2014-06-10.
The city's finest hotel, The Siam.
"You staying here, Warbucks?" asks Tracy.
"Heh-heh! I can't afford it!" says Warbucks.
"Welcome, Mr. Warbucks, Mr. Tracy." says a hotel staff member. "I'll summon him."
"Tracy, this is my friend, The Great Am." says Warbucks, introducing a man with a long white beard.
"So this is Dick Tracy!" says The Great Am. "Your face is very familiar."
There's a hotel that Oliver Warbucks can't afford to stay in? Oliver Warbucks the "multi-zillionaire"?
Spider-Man's latest story is off to a pretty good start too, with Doc Ock apparently turning over a new leaf and preventing a prison break.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-06-09.
Spider-Man finally reaches state prison...
"That mini-quake didn't do this wall any good." says Spidey to no one. "But I'll make sure no prisoners escape."
"No need, Spider-Man." says the warden. "Dr. Octopus ended the breakout."
"As you might have done..." says Ock, "had you arrived in time!"
Fighting crime and showing up Spider-Man, he'll fit right in with the rest of the city's heroes.
Mark Trail is going to Africa!
Mark Trail, 2014-06-10.
"My editor, Bill Ellis, wants me to go to Africa!" says Mark.
"Africa⁉" says Cherry, crossly.
"Africa?" says Rusty. "Oh boy ... Mark, can I go?"
Ha ha ha. Of course not, Rusty. Of course not.
And saving the best for last, Judge Parker continues to deliver. After another week of Katherine continuing to negotiate with the man holding her captive, as though she were the one in the superior bargaining position, Alan showed up. Remember how he wandered off earlier? Yeah, he went to find Katherine. And succeeded.
Judge Parker, 2014-06-08.
"You're the man from the ship!" says Flaco.
"That's right..." says Alan. "And that woman is my wife! I demand that you release her at once!"
"What is it with you people making demands all the time?" asks Flaco, understandably confused at the Parkers' utter obliviousness to danger.
"Untie my wife before somebody gets killed!" says Alan, presumably not referring to himself even though he's the one with a gun to his head.
"You have no gun!" says Flaco.
"I don't need a gun!" says Alan, cryptically.
"Flaco, my husband is a novelist!" says Katherine, as though that explains everything. "Perhaps you've heard of him... Alan Parker! He just wrote a best-seller!"
"Alan Parker?" says Flaco, clearly losing control of the situation. "The same Alan Parker who wrote 'The Chambers Affair'? I loved that book! I finished it on the ship just before Li Hai disappeared!"
"I'm glad you enjoyed it!" says Alan. "We're writing the movie script now!"
"You know," says Flaco, "I thought it would make a wonderful movie!"
Meanwhile, nearby a mercenary watches all this unfold.
"Now we have Mr. Parker in the picture!" she says. "What now?"
"Stay on target..." says a voice over the radio. "Wait for Abbott!"
And then Flaco asked Alan for some advice on writing before surrendering to Katherine. Judge Parker is my favourite comic right now.
Dick Tracy, 2014-06-10.
The city's finest hotel, The Siam.
"You staying here, Warbucks?" asks Tracy.
"Heh-heh! I can't afford it!" says Warbucks.
"Welcome, Mr. Warbucks, Mr. Tracy." says a hotel staff member. "I'll summon him."
"Tracy, this is my friend, The Great Am." says Warbucks, introducing a man with a long white beard.
"So this is Dick Tracy!" says The Great Am. "Your face is very familiar."
There's a hotel that Oliver Warbucks can't afford to stay in? Oliver Warbucks the "multi-zillionaire"?
Spider-Man's latest story is off to a pretty good start too, with Doc Ock apparently turning over a new leaf and preventing a prison break.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-06-09.
Spider-Man finally reaches state prison...
"That mini-quake didn't do this wall any good." says Spidey to no one. "But I'll make sure no prisoners escape."
"No need, Spider-Man." says the warden. "Dr. Octopus ended the breakout."
"As you might have done..." says Ock, "had you arrived in time!"
Fighting crime and showing up Spider-Man, he'll fit right in with the rest of the city's heroes.
Mark Trail is going to Africa!
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| Mark Trail, 2014-06-10. |
Mark Trail, 2014-06-10.
"My editor, Bill Ellis, wants me to go to Africa!" says Mark.
"Africa⁉" says Cherry, crossly.
"Africa?" says Rusty. "Oh boy ... Mark, can I go?"
Ha ha ha. Of course not, Rusty. Of course not.
And saving the best for last, Judge Parker continues to deliver. After another week of Katherine continuing to negotiate with the man holding her captive, as though she were the one in the superior bargaining position, Alan showed up. Remember how he wandered off earlier? Yeah, he went to find Katherine. And succeeded.
Judge Parker, 2014-06-08.
"You're the man from the ship!" says Flaco.
"That's right..." says Alan. "And that woman is my wife! I demand that you release her at once!"
"What is it with you people making demands all the time?" asks Flaco, understandably confused at the Parkers' utter obliviousness to danger.
"Untie my wife before somebody gets killed!" says Alan, presumably not referring to himself even though he's the one with a gun to his head.
"You have no gun!" says Flaco.
"I don't need a gun!" says Alan, cryptically.
"Flaco, my husband is a novelist!" says Katherine, as though that explains everything. "Perhaps you've heard of him... Alan Parker! He just wrote a best-seller!"
"Alan Parker?" says Flaco, clearly losing control of the situation. "The same Alan Parker who wrote 'The Chambers Affair'? I loved that book! I finished it on the ship just before Li Hai disappeared!"
"I'm glad you enjoyed it!" says Alan. "We're writing the movie script now!"
"You know," says Flaco, "I thought it would make a wonderful movie!"
Meanwhile, nearby a mercenary watches all this unfold.
"Now we have Mr. Parker in the picture!" she says. "What now?"
"Stay on target..." says a voice over the radio. "Wait for Abbott!"
And then Flaco asked Alan for some advice on writing before surrendering to Katherine. Judge Parker is my favourite comic right now.
2014-06-04
Action Tuesday: Mandrake the Moron
After a week of Mark Trail expressing human emotion and willingly spending time with his wife, I'm starting to worry about James Allen's style. I mean, Mark fighting a bear and then the bear fighting another bear were great, but this is just not the Mark Trail I know and love. At least one thing doesn't seem to have changed though...
Mark Trail, 2014-06-03.
"Bill Ellis called for you, Mark!" calls Doc.
"Mark, are you going to tell Mr. Ellis about the bear that chased you?" asks Rusty.
"He just wants my next story, Rusty!" says Mark.
"I don't think so, Mark..." says Doc. "Bill said something about you going on a trip!"
Mark is going on a trip! I wonder if he'll promise to take Rusty fishing when he gets back and then never do it? Also, Mark's reaction to Rusty's question is the sort of bizarre non-sequitur that I've always liked about this comic, along with the fact that Mark apparently isn't going to tell Bill about the bear, or, I don't know, write an article about the experience. That seems like something people might like to read.
On the other end of the spectrum, Judge Parker has been delightful this week. After ungagging Katherine for no apparent reason, Flaco has been chatting with her while trying to spot the people sneaking up to kill him.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-30.
"He should be here by now!" says Flaco. "They're trying to trick me!"
"Of course they are..." says Katherine, blissfully naïve to her own mortal peril. "But you can trick them! Your wife is safe and you have everything to live for now! Why don't you just surrender to me and we'll call it a day?"
And then she convinced Flaco to sit down next to her, which actually made it impossible for Abbott's mercenaries to get a clear shot at him. So it turns out she might actually be helping him, although probably not intentionally.
And Mandrake the Magician and Lothar followed Alibi Algie, the man with the apparent ability to be in two places at once, to his hotel room and discovered...
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-06-03.
"Alibi Algie... identical twins!" gasps Mandrake.
"We should have guessed that." says Lothar.
"Too late to guess --" says one of the twins.
"We never shoot people -- until now." says the other.
Lothar said it all, really.
Mark Trail, 2014-06-03.
"Bill Ellis called for you, Mark!" calls Doc.
"Mark, are you going to tell Mr. Ellis about the bear that chased you?" asks Rusty.
"He just wants my next story, Rusty!" says Mark.
"I don't think so, Mark..." says Doc. "Bill said something about you going on a trip!"
Mark is going on a trip! I wonder if he'll promise to take Rusty fishing when he gets back and then never do it? Also, Mark's reaction to Rusty's question is the sort of bizarre non-sequitur that I've always liked about this comic, along with the fact that Mark apparently isn't going to tell Bill about the bear, or, I don't know, write an article about the experience. That seems like something people might like to read.
On the other end of the spectrum, Judge Parker has been delightful this week. After ungagging Katherine for no apparent reason, Flaco has been chatting with her while trying to spot the people sneaking up to kill him.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-30.
"He should be here by now!" says Flaco. "They're trying to trick me!"
"Of course they are..." says Katherine, blissfully naïve to her own mortal peril. "But you can trick them! Your wife is safe and you have everything to live for now! Why don't you just surrender to me and we'll call it a day?"
And then she convinced Flaco to sit down next to her, which actually made it impossible for Abbott's mercenaries to get a clear shot at him. So it turns out she might actually be helping him, although probably not intentionally.
And Mandrake the Magician and Lothar followed Alibi Algie, the man with the apparent ability to be in two places at once, to his hotel room and discovered...
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-06-03.
"Alibi Algie... identical twins!" gasps Mandrake.
"We should have guessed that." says Lothar.
"Too late to guess --" says one of the twins.
"We never shoot people -- until now." says the other.
Lothar said it all, really.
2014-05-27
Action Tuesday: Everyone just wants to see Katherine naked
This week Alley Oop has been telling Ooola about how he fell off a cliff and died and was brought back to life, then someone write a book about it. Ooola thinks he's making it up and I haven't been reading this comic long enough to know if it's true or not. But now Foozy has just shown up to return a book Oop lent him, which Alley is implying is the one about his death, but actually appears to be Frankenstein.
Alley Oop, 2014-05-26.
"Did you like the book, Foozy?" asks Alley.
"A gripping tale that's soaked in fear! Best story that I've read all year!"
"Foozy, wh..." begins Ooola. "Wha... what's it about?"
"A man once dead returned to life, while all around are doomed to strife!"
"Toldja so!" says Alley.
OK, that is not the story of Frankenstein. I read it recently, so it's still pretty fresh in my mind. Frankenstein's creature, in the book, is not a reanimated corpse or even made from corpse parts. Frankenstein studied corpses to find out how human bodies work, but he made the creature (by some unexplained method) on a larger scale than a human so the pieces wouldn't be so small and fiddly, so it's not possible that he could have used parts of humans in the construction. I'm beginning to think that this comic about time-travelling, dinosaur-riding cavemen isn't as meticulously fact-checked as one might presume.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-27.
"One of the prison's walls has been felled by the quake..." says the newsreader on TV.
"Doc Ock may escape!" says Peter, finishing his coffee. "I've got to get up there — but it's way too far to web-swing to..."
"So this time, take a cab." says MJ, pulling a wad of cash from her purse. "This one's on me!"
"!" says Peter.
So many things I love about newspaper Spider-Man here. First there's the fact that he is once again finding out about potential super-villainy by watching TV, then there's the fact that he can't think of any way to get around other than by web-swinging. Also, he's dressed as Peter, in a public place, loudly talking about being Spider-Man. And I really hope we're going to see him feeling insecure about how MJ earns more than he does again, because that's always funny.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-27.
"Tell me, madam..." says Flaco, "did you know what kind of family your son was marrying into?"
"Mmmphhh!" says Katherine, because she's still gagged.
Flaco removes the gag because apparently that question wasn't rhetorical.
"Are you looking through my dress with those things?" asks Katherine, referring to the night-vision goggles.
"well..." says Flaco, taken aback. "Uh, no... not exactly!"
I can't tell you how much I love the fact that the only thing Katherine has been worried about this entire time is that people might be using surveillance technology to see through her clothes, even after several people have told her that that's not possible, and after she's been taken prisoner by a heavily armed man in the middle of the jungle.
Alley Oop, 2014-05-26.
"Did you like the book, Foozy?" asks Alley.
"A gripping tale that's soaked in fear! Best story that I've read all year!"
"Foozy, wh..." begins Ooola. "Wha... what's it about?"
"A man once dead returned to life, while all around are doomed to strife!"
"Toldja so!" says Alley.
OK, that is not the story of Frankenstein. I read it recently, so it's still pretty fresh in my mind. Frankenstein's creature, in the book, is not a reanimated corpse or even made from corpse parts. Frankenstein studied corpses to find out how human bodies work, but he made the creature (by some unexplained method) on a larger scale than a human so the pieces wouldn't be so small and fiddly, so it's not possible that he could have used parts of humans in the construction. I'm beginning to think that this comic about time-travelling, dinosaur-riding cavemen isn't as meticulously fact-checked as one might presume.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-27.
"One of the prison's walls has been felled by the quake..." says the newsreader on TV.
"Doc Ock may escape!" says Peter, finishing his coffee. "I've got to get up there — but it's way too far to web-swing to..."
"So this time, take a cab." says MJ, pulling a wad of cash from her purse. "This one's on me!"
"!" says Peter.
So many things I love about newspaper Spider-Man here. First there's the fact that he is once again finding out about potential super-villainy by watching TV, then there's the fact that he can't think of any way to get around other than by web-swinging. Also, he's dressed as Peter, in a public place, loudly talking about being Spider-Man. And I really hope we're going to see him feeling insecure about how MJ earns more than he does again, because that's always funny.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-27.
"Tell me, madam..." says Flaco, "did you know what kind of family your son was marrying into?"
"Mmmphhh!" says Katherine, because she's still gagged.
Flaco removes the gag because apparently that question wasn't rhetorical.
"Are you looking through my dress with those things?" asks Katherine, referring to the night-vision goggles.
"well..." says Flaco, taken aback. "Uh, no... not exactly!"
I can't tell you how much I love the fact that the only thing Katherine has been worried about this entire time is that people might be using surveillance technology to see through her clothes, even after several people have told her that that's not possible, and after she's been taken prisoner by a heavily armed man in the middle of the jungle.
2014-05-20
Action Tuesday: Bear fight!
Well, after seeing Mark Trail fight a bear we also got to see that bear fighting another bear. I still miss the way Mark used to say every thought that came into his head aloud regardless of where he was or what he was doing, but new Mark Trail has a lot more bear fighting, and that can't be a bad thing. Also there's this:
Mark Trail, 2014-05-17.
"Dusty, look, out in that field!" says Cherry, pointing.
"Yeah, that's Mark all right!" says Dusty, looking through a pair of binoculars. "He's crawling away from two fighting bears and he looks like he's in rough shape... we'd better go get him!"
"Mark, Mark, over here!" calls Cherry, running towards him.
"Cherry ... Dusty!" calls Mark, struggling to stand.
And in Judge Parker, April is still holding Franco hostage while Flaco holds Katherine, Abbott has agreed to hand himself over in exchange for Katherine and has promised that Franco will be released as well, and Alan has wandered off into the jungle like a gigantic moron. I can't wait to see what's happened to him. Meanwhile...
Judge Parker, 2014-05-20.
"My whole family, past and future, is out there..." says Randy. "Bring them back!"
"You should be more concerned about the Garda brothers, son!" says Abbott grimly. "They will pay for ruining your wedding... I promise you that!"
"Wear these, Abbott..." says Holland, handing over a pair of night-vision goggles "and circle to the west! We know his location!"
 |
| Mark Trail, 2014-05-15. |
Mark Trail, 2014-05-17.
"Dusty, look, out in that field!" says Cherry, pointing.
"Yeah, that's Mark all right!" says Dusty, looking through a pair of binoculars. "He's crawling away from two fighting bears and he looks like he's in rough shape... we'd better go get him!"
"Mark, Mark, over here!" calls Cherry, running towards him.
"Cherry ... Dusty!" calls Mark, struggling to stand.
And in Judge Parker, April is still holding Franco hostage while Flaco holds Katherine, Abbott has agreed to hand himself over in exchange for Katherine and has promised that Franco will be released as well, and Alan has wandered off into the jungle like a gigantic moron. I can't wait to see what's happened to him. Meanwhile...
Judge Parker, 2014-05-20.
"My whole family, past and future, is out there..." says Randy. "Bring them back!"
"You should be more concerned about the Garda brothers, son!" says Abbott grimly. "They will pay for ruining your wedding... I promise you that!"
"Wear these, Abbott..." says Holland, handing over a pair of night-vision goggles "and circle to the west! We know his location!"
2014-05-14
Action Tuesday: That's why they call him "dick".
This week, Dick Tracy has been looking into police corruption.
Dick Tracy, 2014-05-07.
"What's up, Tracy?" asks Sam as Dick pores through stacks of papers. "I haven't seen you hit the files like that since..."
He pauses for thought.
"Heck, I've never seen you hit the files like that. Lizz, Lee and I usually do the digging."
"I don't like what happened with the Kolossal case, Sam." says Dick.
He's probably upset that someone died horrifically and he wasn't there to see it.
"And I like what I'm finding in these related case histories even less." he continues. "I think Tabby Angus may be getting away with murder!"
So we learned that Dick Tracy really doesn't pull his weight. He just shows up in time to watch some criminals die and then leaves the paperwork for his co-workers.
The stalemate in Judge Parker hasn't really moved since last week, everyone's just been caught up on what's going on. And we found out that Flaco's wife, Li Hai, wasn't murdered by April on the cruise ship. Now Abbott's on the radio with Flaco and April's still in the jungle with her hostage.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-13.
"Li Hai's in Acapulco?" says Flaco over the radio. "I don't believe you."
Beside him Katherine is bound and gagged.
"She was detained on the ship and placed in custody in the brig!" replies Abbott. "Travelling under a phony passport is illegal in Mexico, Flaco! I assure you, Li Hai is quite safe with my federale friends!"
Hidden in the jungle listening to both sides on her stolen radio, April smiles.
And J Jonah Jameson has had the most temporary change of heart imaginable. Mere moments after shaking hands with Spider-Man he's begun thinking of ways to spin the story to put Spidey in a bad light.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-13.
"What'll the public think when the Bugle's headline denounces Spider-Man —" asks Robbie, holding up the photo of Jonah and Spidey shaking hands, "— above this photo of you two shaking hands?"
"That J. Jonah Jameson's a big enough man to salute a foe —" says Jonah, gesticulating, "— before I expose him for the hypocritical fraud he is!"
"Spidey's a hypocritical fraud!?" thinks Peter.
I know Peter's thought is supposed to be "look who's talking" type of thing, but I like to imagine he's just reacting to Jonah's statement as though it's actually a shocking revelation. "Really, Spider-Man is a hypocritical fraud? But I'm Spider-Man! Does this mean I'm a fraud?"
Dick Tracy, 2014-05-07.
"What's up, Tracy?" asks Sam as Dick pores through stacks of papers. "I haven't seen you hit the files like that since..."
He pauses for thought.
"Heck, I've never seen you hit the files like that. Lizz, Lee and I usually do the digging."
"I don't like what happened with the Kolossal case, Sam." says Dick.
He's probably upset that someone died horrifically and he wasn't there to see it.
"And I like what I'm finding in these related case histories even less." he continues. "I think Tabby Angus may be getting away with murder!"
So we learned that Dick Tracy really doesn't pull his weight. He just shows up in time to watch some criminals die and then leaves the paperwork for his co-workers.
The stalemate in Judge Parker hasn't really moved since last week, everyone's just been caught up on what's going on. And we found out that Flaco's wife, Li Hai, wasn't murdered by April on the cruise ship. Now Abbott's on the radio with Flaco and April's still in the jungle with her hostage.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-13.
"Li Hai's in Acapulco?" says Flaco over the radio. "I don't believe you."
Beside him Katherine is bound and gagged.
"She was detained on the ship and placed in custody in the brig!" replies Abbott. "Travelling under a phony passport is illegal in Mexico, Flaco! I assure you, Li Hai is quite safe with my federale friends!"
Hidden in the jungle listening to both sides on her stolen radio, April smiles.
And J Jonah Jameson has had the most temporary change of heart imaginable. Mere moments after shaking hands with Spider-Man he's begun thinking of ways to spin the story to put Spidey in a bad light.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-13.
"What'll the public think when the Bugle's headline denounces Spider-Man —" asks Robbie, holding up the photo of Jonah and Spidey shaking hands, "— above this photo of you two shaking hands?"
"That J. Jonah Jameson's a big enough man to salute a foe —" says Jonah, gesticulating, "— before I expose him for the hypocritical fraud he is!"
"Spidey's a hypocritical fraud!?" thinks Peter.
I know Peter's thought is supposed to be "look who's talking" type of thing, but I like to imagine he's just reacting to Jonah's statement as though it's actually a shocking revelation. "Really, Spider-Man is a hypocritical fraud? But I'm Spider-Man! Does this mean I'm a fraud?"
2014-05-06
Action Tuesday: Trust and Friendship
Dick Tracy still hasn't followed up on the disappearance of Little Orphan Annie, but the story we're getting instead is starting to look interesting.
Dick Tracy, 2014-05-06.
"What's going on, chief?" asks Dick.
"Tracy, it's about that death at Kolossal studios." says Patton.
"Are the results back from forensics?"
"Maybe." says Patton, narrowing his eyes. "I don't know because the case was reassigned."
"Reassigned?" exclaims Dick, jumping to his feet. "But the studio is within city limits. That's in our jurisdiction!"
"The higher-ups gave it to Jeff Clark over at county, Tracy. It seems he gets all cases connected with Tabby Angus."
Police corruption! Are we about to see Dick Tracy gun down a corrupt officer? I hope so.
Meanwhile, Popeye has forgotten all about his shameful surname (which we never got to hear) and is now focused on the problem of the toolshed that seems to be locked but shouldn't be.
Popeye, 2014-05-06.
"I told ya it was locked!" says Swee'Pea. "I has ta git the spade!"
"The door mus' be jammed..." says Popey. "I'll have to smash it in!"
Suddenly Swee'Pea leaps into the air in amazement. The spade is leaning against the outside of the shed where moments before there had been nothing.
And shit is getting real in Judge Parker as April heads into the jungle to try to find the men who are attacking the... secret jungle hospital compound thing.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-02.
"Flaco, I have the compound in sight..." says a man wearing night-vision goggles. "The party is winding down!"
"Stay put..." replies Flaco over the radio. "I'm circling to the west!"
"Copy that! I see Abbott standing on the terrace!"
"Look for the girl! She knows what happened to Li Hai!"
Unnoticed, April sneaks up behind the man, knife in hand...
And after that Katherine got captured. Both sides now hold hostages.
And I thought the fun was over in Spider-Man, now that Jonah's lost the Iron Man armour, but I was so wrong! See, it turns out that the reason Jonah hated Spider-Man was simple envy, Spider-Man has the love of the people and Jonah hated him for it, but now Jonah realises that his enmity is misplaced. Spider-Man wasn't keen on reconciliation, but Robbie talked him around as well.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-06.
"Robbie's right." says Spidey, abashed. "You reached out your hand in friendship — — and I slapped it down."
"Really —" says Jonah, "I'm the one who should —"
"Jameson..." says Spider-Man. "Jonah... Put 'er there!"
He holds out his hand to shake. Jonah pauses and the world holds its breath...
Dick Tracy, 2014-05-06.
"What's going on, chief?" asks Dick.
"Tracy, it's about that death at Kolossal studios." says Patton.
"Are the results back from forensics?"
"Maybe." says Patton, narrowing his eyes. "I don't know because the case was reassigned."
"Reassigned?" exclaims Dick, jumping to his feet. "But the studio is within city limits. That's in our jurisdiction!"
"The higher-ups gave it to Jeff Clark over at county, Tracy. It seems he gets all cases connected with Tabby Angus."
Police corruption! Are we about to see Dick Tracy gun down a corrupt officer? I hope so.
Meanwhile, Popeye has forgotten all about his shameful surname (which we never got to hear) and is now focused on the problem of the toolshed that seems to be locked but shouldn't be.
Popeye, 2014-05-06.
"I told ya it was locked!" says Swee'Pea. "I has ta git the spade!"
"The door mus' be jammed..." says Popey. "I'll have to smash it in!"
Suddenly Swee'Pea leaps into the air in amazement. The spade is leaning against the outside of the shed where moments before there had been nothing.
And shit is getting real in Judge Parker as April heads into the jungle to try to find the men who are attacking the... secret jungle hospital compound thing.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-02.
"Flaco, I have the compound in sight..." says a man wearing night-vision goggles. "The party is winding down!"
"Stay put..." replies Flaco over the radio. "I'm circling to the west!"
"Copy that! I see Abbott standing on the terrace!"
"Look for the girl! She knows what happened to Li Hai!"
Unnoticed, April sneaks up behind the man, knife in hand...
And after that Katherine got captured. Both sides now hold hostages.
And I thought the fun was over in Spider-Man, now that Jonah's lost the Iron Man armour, but I was so wrong! See, it turns out that the reason Jonah hated Spider-Man was simple envy, Spider-Man has the love of the people and Jonah hated him for it, but now Jonah realises that his enmity is misplaced. Spider-Man wasn't keen on reconciliation, but Robbie talked him around as well.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-06.
"Robbie's right." says Spidey, abashed. "You reached out your hand in friendship — — and I slapped it down."
"Really —" says Jonah, "I'm the one who should —"
"Jameson..." says Spider-Man. "Jonah... Put 'er there!"
He holds out his hand to shake. Jonah pauses and the world holds its breath...
2014-04-29
Melodrama Monday: Lost in the Wilderness
I haven't talked about Luann recently, and you may think that that's because it's terrible and I hate it, but you'd be totally wrong. It is and I do, but that's more a reason for me to want to talk about it. It's actually because it hasn't been particularly bad lately. It hasn't been good, obviously, it's just that not much of anything at all has happened. But this week that changed.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
2014-03-31
Melodrama Monday: People who love to hear themselves talk
Tommie in Apartment 3-G just spent the entire week telling Lu Ann that she found a vet who might be willing to take the deer off her hands and completely failed to mention what exactly she thinks anyone would want with an orphaned deer that's now spent half its life living in a New York City apartment. She hasn't actually spoken to this vet either, she's just assuming that it will all work out.
"Tommie," asks Lu Ann, "did you get an appointment for Lily?"
"Not yet, Lu Ann." says Tommie. "I've called Jack Riley, but no one answers. I made another call, Lu Ann. And this time I got an answer."
"From Jack Riley?" asks Lu Ann, who apparently wasn't paying attention.
"From the town clerk in Happiness Falls!" says Tommie.
"That's the little burg where Jack Riley lives, Lu Ann." they both say in eerie unison.
"How did the town clerk help, Tommie?" asks Lu Ann.
"She gave me the lowdown on Jack Riley." says Tommie, giving a thumbs-up. "It seems he's the original cranky guy with a heart of gold."
"Maybe it's true, Tommie!" says Lu Ann, again clearly not paying attention.
So with no real reason to suppose that Jack Riley will take the deer or do anything to help her at all, Tommie packed the car, took the deer and drove to Happiness Falls.
In Judge Parker, Alan and Katherine, having accidentally brought down a surveillance drone, decided it wasn't really a priority and went to meet April's father.
"It's an honor to meet you, Alan!" says Abbott. "I thoroughly enjoyed 'The Chambers Affair'!"
"That's good to hear, Abbott!" says Alan. "We're writing the screenplay now!"
"April mentioned that! If it's half as good as the book..." says Abbott, "...you'll take Hollywood by storm!"
Alan basks in the absurd praise.
He did eventually get around to telling Abbott about the drone, but he has his priorities. First you have to tell him you love his book, then you can move on to other matters.
This week in Funky Winkerbean Holly made an off-hand remark about comic books being a boy thing and Donna took that as an opportunity to tell a boring story.
"Comic books aren't solely a guys' domain, Holly." says Donna. "After all, you're talking to the gal who once bore the sobriquet of the 'Eliminator.'"
Cut to sepia-toned flashback.
"The 'Eliminator' is one of the coolest guys on the planet." says a slack-jawed boy as he watches Donna, disguised in a ridiculous helmet, playing an arcade machine.
"Heh, heh..." thinks Donna. "Little do they know."
This went on for another four days, believe it or not, and in the end the message seems to be "Comics aren't just for boys. I know, because I used to play video games wearing a disguise so that no one would know I was a girl." I'm really not sure how that evidence was supposed to support that point.
"Tommie," asks Lu Ann, "did you get an appointment for Lily?"
"Not yet, Lu Ann." says Tommie. "I've called Jack Riley, but no one answers. I made another call, Lu Ann. And this time I got an answer."
"From Jack Riley?" asks Lu Ann, who apparently wasn't paying attention.
"From the town clerk in Happiness Falls!" says Tommie.
"That's the little burg where Jack Riley lives, Lu Ann." they both say in eerie unison.
"How did the town clerk help, Tommie?" asks Lu Ann.
"She gave me the lowdown on Jack Riley." says Tommie, giving a thumbs-up. "It seems he's the original cranky guy with a heart of gold."
"Maybe it's true, Tommie!" says Lu Ann, again clearly not paying attention.
So with no real reason to suppose that Jack Riley will take the deer or do anything to help her at all, Tommie packed the car, took the deer and drove to Happiness Falls.
In Judge Parker, Alan and Katherine, having accidentally brought down a surveillance drone, decided it wasn't really a priority and went to meet April's father.
"It's an honor to meet you, Alan!" says Abbott. "I thoroughly enjoyed 'The Chambers Affair'!"
"That's good to hear, Abbott!" says Alan. "We're writing the screenplay now!"
"April mentioned that! If it's half as good as the book..." says Abbott, "...you'll take Hollywood by storm!"
Alan basks in the absurd praise.
He did eventually get around to telling Abbott about the drone, but he has his priorities. First you have to tell him you love his book, then you can move on to other matters.
This week in Funky Winkerbean Holly made an off-hand remark about comic books being a boy thing and Donna took that as an opportunity to tell a boring story.
"Comic books aren't solely a guys' domain, Holly." says Donna. "After all, you're talking to the gal who once bore the sobriquet of the 'Eliminator.'"
Cut to sepia-toned flashback.
"The 'Eliminator' is one of the coolest guys on the planet." says a slack-jawed boy as he watches Donna, disguised in a ridiculous helmet, playing an arcade machine.
"Heh, heh..." thinks Donna. "Little do they know."
This went on for another four days, believe it or not, and in the end the message seems to be "Comics aren't just for boys. I know, because I used to play video games wearing a disguise so that no one would know I was a girl." I'm really not sure how that evidence was supposed to support that point.
2014-03-18
Action Tuesday: Suspicious Behaviour in the Jungle
Although he resisted for a while, Mark Trail has finally been forced to acknowledge Marlin's suspicious behaviour and has stumbled upon some actual evidence.
"Names, addresses, photos ..." says Mark to no one as looks through the names, addresses and photos. "Wait, these are photos of Marlin and other men hunting game animals at night!"
Needless to say, Mark is utterly scandalised that anyone could do such a thing. Especially someone as suspicious and obviously up to no good as Marlin.
"Looks like he has been harvesting sea turtle eggs as well ..." shouts Mark. "Marlin has turned this island into his own private illegal hunting grounds!"
Some disgruntled-looking water birds look on disapprovingly.
And something's finally happened in the weekday Phantom story as well. After weeks of the Phantom showing off his stolen treasure, Rick Grubber, the villain who came here to steal that treasure has finally made his move. Unfortunately for him he missed the "minor treasure room" where the Phantom keeps all his gold and jewels and such and stumbled on the "major treasure room" where the Phantom hoards items of historical and cultural significance.
He failed to recognise the value of those items, but since he came all that way he decided he may as well take a few things anyway.
In the dead of night, Rick Grubber makes his way out of the Skull Cave, wearing various pieces of armour and jewellery of both great monetary value and inestimable value to historians, archaeologists and anthropologists, clinking and clattering and looking utterly absurd.
Suddenly a noise freezes him in his tracks. Behind him, in the darkness, someone clears their throat.
We've probably still got at least another week of this, but hopefully the next story will be less dull.
Meanwhile in Judge Parker, the Alan and Katherine have spotted a surveillance drone and seem to be regarding it with more mild interest than any sort of apprehension.
"Do you think it sees us?" asks Katherine as the drone whirs overhead.
"I don't know..." says Alan. "Could be infrared! I must be watching the La Cura compound!"
"Infrared?" asks Katherine in sudden panic. "Does that mean it sees through my clothes?"
Eventually they manage to somehow distract the pilot and the drone crashes into a tree. It can't fly any more but the camera's still working and a couple of swarthy gentlemen in Hawaiian shirts seen observing Katherine on a monitor.
"Names, addresses, photos ..." says Mark to no one as looks through the names, addresses and photos. "Wait, these are photos of Marlin and other men hunting game animals at night!"
Needless to say, Mark is utterly scandalised that anyone could do such a thing. Especially someone as suspicious and obviously up to no good as Marlin.
"Looks like he has been harvesting sea turtle eggs as well ..." shouts Mark. "Marlin has turned this island into his own private illegal hunting grounds!"
Some disgruntled-looking water birds look on disapprovingly.
And something's finally happened in the weekday Phantom story as well. After weeks of the Phantom showing off his stolen treasure, Rick Grubber, the villain who came here to steal that treasure has finally made his move. Unfortunately for him he missed the "minor treasure room" where the Phantom keeps all his gold and jewels and such and stumbled on the "major treasure room" where the Phantom hoards items of historical and cultural significance.
He failed to recognise the value of those items, but since he came all that way he decided he may as well take a few things anyway.
In the dead of night, Rick Grubber makes his way out of the Skull Cave, wearing various pieces of armour and jewellery of both great monetary value and inestimable value to historians, archaeologists and anthropologists, clinking and clattering and looking utterly absurd.
Suddenly a noise freezes him in his tracks. Behind him, in the darkness, someone clears their throat.
We've probably still got at least another week of this, but hopefully the next story will be less dull.
Meanwhile in Judge Parker, the Alan and Katherine have spotted a surveillance drone and seem to be regarding it with more mild interest than any sort of apprehension.
"Do you think it sees us?" asks Katherine as the drone whirs overhead.
"I don't know..." says Alan. "Could be infrared! I must be watching the La Cura compound!"
"Infrared?" asks Katherine in sudden panic. "Does that mean it sees through my clothes?"
Eventually they manage to somehow distract the pilot and the drone crashes into a tree. It can't fly any more but the camera's still working and a couple of swarthy gentlemen in Hawaiian shirts seen observing Katherine on a monitor.
2014-03-03
Melodrama Monday: It's been a slow week
Last week I told you what had been happening in Judge Parker, and seven days later absolutely nothing else has happened. But it looks like there might be a battle between the hospital/fortress guards and the people who hate April's father. This being Judge Parker, it'll probably happen off-screen while Alan stumbles upon a lost treasure which he is naturally allowed to keep, but I'll keep you posted.
Mary Worth spent all week on an incredibly awkward dinner.
"Tommy," said Wilbur, "maybe I can help you with your job search! I have a friend who's a manager at SantaRoyMart!"
Tommy threw himself backwards in his chair, raising his arms as though to keep Wilbur at bay.
"The big box store?" he asked, fear in his voice. "No! I can't!"
Mary and Wilbur exchanged worried glances. Wilbur gestured at Tommy with a knife, a move perhaps not best calculated to instil calm.
"I mean..." said Tommy, cowering, "that won't work for me!"
And why could Tommy not bear to face SantaRoyMart? Was it because he used to buy drugs there? Or sell drugs there? Or because hearing the name "SantaRoyMart" would make anyone uneasy? No, none of those. Apparently he once got caught shoplifting there. When he was sixteen. It doesn't even have anything to do with his career as a meth dealer.
The stand-off in Rex Morgan MD ended, as might have been expected, rather anticlimactically and largely off-screen.
"Hey, you didn't have to do that!" whined Buck. "She was going to stop!"
"Let's go outside, sir..." said one of the police officers, gently steering him toward the door. "We'll take it from here!"
The other police officer, knelt to check on Doris who had collapsed after being tased.
"She's not breathing..." she said. "... call the paramedics!"
Turns out she bit part of her tongue off, but was otherwise OK and now she's going to jail. Rex feels bad for Buck, but June is quick to step in to make sure he doesn't do anything crazy like offer to lend him money or do anything else for him that might inconvenience her.
Meanwhilethe devil-child Sarah sees an opportunity to blackmail her babysitter, but we'll have to wait to see how that plays out.
Finally, Shulock is doing her best to ramp up the tension in Apartment 3-G. Tommie's on the phone to her fiancé's mother Rose, who is being very evasive, which Tommie is completely failing to notice. It's not clear what the exact nature of the shocking revelation will be, but it's pretty clear that Tommie isn't getting married any time soon, and not just because she's the least interesting person imaginable or because it would destroy the comic's central premise.
My bet is on Jim being dead, but it's also possible that he may be in a coma, already married, in prison, or a ghost. There's just no way to be sure at this stage. Maggie at the Lovely Ladies of Apartment 3-G and Josh Fruhlinger (the Comics Curmudgeon) favour the theory that Jim never existed at all, which would be the best possible answer, but I can't see it happening.
Mary Worth spent all week on an incredibly awkward dinner.
"Tommy," said Wilbur, "maybe I can help you with your job search! I have a friend who's a manager at SantaRoyMart!"
Tommy threw himself backwards in his chair, raising his arms as though to keep Wilbur at bay.
"The big box store?" he asked, fear in his voice. "No! I can't!"
Mary and Wilbur exchanged worried glances. Wilbur gestured at Tommy with a knife, a move perhaps not best calculated to instil calm.
"I mean..." said Tommy, cowering, "that won't work for me!"
And why could Tommy not bear to face SantaRoyMart? Was it because he used to buy drugs there? Or sell drugs there? Or because hearing the name "SantaRoyMart" would make anyone uneasy? No, none of those. Apparently he once got caught shoplifting there. When he was sixteen. It doesn't even have anything to do with his career as a meth dealer.
The stand-off in Rex Morgan MD ended, as might have been expected, rather anticlimactically and largely off-screen.
"Hey, you didn't have to do that!" whined Buck. "She was going to stop!"
"Let's go outside, sir..." said one of the police officers, gently steering him toward the door. "We'll take it from here!"
The other police officer, knelt to check on Doris who had collapsed after being tased.
"She's not breathing..." she said. "... call the paramedics!"
Turns out she bit part of her tongue off, but was otherwise OK and now she's going to jail. Rex feels bad for Buck, but June is quick to step in to make sure he doesn't do anything crazy like offer to lend him money or do anything else for him that might inconvenience her.
Meanwhile
Finally, Shulock is doing her best to ramp up the tension in Apartment 3-G. Tommie's on the phone to her fiancé's mother Rose, who is being very evasive, which Tommie is completely failing to notice. It's not clear what the exact nature of the shocking revelation will be, but it's pretty clear that Tommie isn't getting married any time soon, and not just because she's the least interesting person imaginable or because it would destroy the comic's central premise.
My bet is on Jim being dead, but it's also possible that he may be in a coma, already married, in prison, or a ghost. There's just no way to be sure at this stage. Maggie at the Lovely Ladies of Apartment 3-G and Josh Fruhlinger (the Comics Curmudgeon) favour the theory that Jim never existed at all, which would be the best possible answer, but I can't see it happening.
2014-02-24
Melodrama Monday: Violence, intrigue and an awkward dinner party
While Tommie in Apartment 3-G has spent the past week keeping a baby deer in the flat and hyping up her new fiancé, and Luann's friends Bernice and Delta dither over whether or not they're going to the prom (which isn't even happening for months yet), things have been a bit more exciting in Judge Parker. Yes, I used "exciting" and "Judge Parker" in the same sentence.
Things started off in typical fashion, with Alan, the original Judge Parker, and his wife Katherine writing a screenplay which is guaranteed to make them even richer than they already are (because that's just what happens in this comic) while on a cruise to the jungle for the current Judge Parker's wedding to April, but things got a little bit weird along the way.
The Parkers won some money at the casino, but that goes without saying, the first hint of things to come was that time when it looked like April had just thrown a woman overboard. April works for the NSA, you see, and the woman was following her for some reason. But it now appears that April didn't do it. And there are more people following her.
But that only came up after they got to the jungle. They're in the jungle for the wedding, remember? Well, her father is hiding out there in this secret, hidden medical facility with armed guards, because he used to be a spy or something, and now Russian spies, who are working for some people he used to do some smuggling for, have tracked him down and are probably trying to kill him.
Also there's a drug cartel and a big spider. Meanwhile, Alan is having a lovely time and just wandering blissfully unaware through this dangerous world of spies, cartels, smugglers, mercenaries and deadly jungle creatures, secure in the knowledge that he is rich and therefore safe from all harm.
So basically what I'm saying here is that if anyone can explain to me what the hell is going on in Judge Parker right now, I would love to know.
Rex Morgan MD is much less confusing. We're just at the point where the boring build-up suddenly transforms into insane violence. Rex recently ran into Buck, an old highschool friend. It turned out that Buck's wife, Doris, had started drinking heavily and had attacked him with a drill. Rex was concerned and convinced him to call the police, which he did the other day. He made one little mistake though, in that he told her he'd done it before they arrived. While she had a knife in her hand.
Doris reacted in the calm and rational way typical of violent alcoholics, which is to say that she started yelling, threatening and waving the knife around. In yesterday's Sunday strip the police arrive and hear the commotion. Today's strip picks up with them opening the door and seeing Buck and Doris.
"Doris... no!" yells Buck, holding his briefcase up to defend himself.
"After all I've done for you!" yells Doris, stabbing the briefcase.
"Drop the knife, lady..." says one of the police officers, aiming a taser right at her head.
"This is my house!" screams Doris, lunging at the police officer. "Get out!"
Buck cowers against the wall as the second officer also raises a taser.
So in tomorrow's Rex Morgan MD either someone's getting stabbed or someone's getting tased, or, if we're really lucky, both!
Mary Worth should also be worth keeping an eye on over the next couple of weeks as Wilbur's former girlfriend Iris is back in town, with her son Tommy, the former meth dealer who's recently gotten out of jail and is looking to turn his life around. Will he go back to his old ways, or will Wilbur's sandwiches and frolicking be enough to cure him? Either way it should be pretty great. In today's strip, Wilbur, Iris and Tommy have been invited to Mary's house for dinner.
"I've heard nice things about Jefferson. What's it like?" asks Mary as Wilbur and Iris keep their eyes on Tommy. "I've never been there."
"Tommy will have a better chance of getting work in a big city like Santa Royale..." says Iris, having mistaken Santa Royale for a big city. "But Jefferson's quiet pace was wecome in light of his status change. The months we spent there were good."
"Just say it. mom/ Jefferson eased the way for this former drug dealer who finally left prison!" thinks Tommy, gritting his teeth and grimacing at the floor.
Wilbur continues to glare menacingly at Tommy throughout the conversation,.
Things started off in typical fashion, with Alan, the original Judge Parker, and his wife Katherine writing a screenplay which is guaranteed to make them even richer than they already are (because that's just what happens in this comic) while on a cruise to the jungle for the current Judge Parker's wedding to April, but things got a little bit weird along the way.
The Parkers won some money at the casino, but that goes without saying, the first hint of things to come was that time when it looked like April had just thrown a woman overboard. April works for the NSA, you see, and the woman was following her for some reason. But it now appears that April didn't do it. And there are more people following her.
But that only came up after they got to the jungle. They're in the jungle for the wedding, remember? Well, her father is hiding out there in this secret, hidden medical facility with armed guards, because he used to be a spy or something, and now Russian spies, who are working for some people he used to do some smuggling for, have tracked him down and are probably trying to kill him.
Also there's a drug cartel and a big spider. Meanwhile, Alan is having a lovely time and just wandering blissfully unaware through this dangerous world of spies, cartels, smugglers, mercenaries and deadly jungle creatures, secure in the knowledge that he is rich and therefore safe from all harm.
So basically what I'm saying here is that if anyone can explain to me what the hell is going on in Judge Parker right now, I would love to know.
Rex Morgan MD is much less confusing. We're just at the point where the boring build-up suddenly transforms into insane violence. Rex recently ran into Buck, an old highschool friend. It turned out that Buck's wife, Doris, had started drinking heavily and had attacked him with a drill. Rex was concerned and convinced him to call the police, which he did the other day. He made one little mistake though, in that he told her he'd done it before they arrived. While she had a knife in her hand.
Doris reacted in the calm and rational way typical of violent alcoholics, which is to say that she started yelling, threatening and waving the knife around. In yesterday's Sunday strip the police arrive and hear the commotion. Today's strip picks up with them opening the door and seeing Buck and Doris.
"Doris... no!" yells Buck, holding his briefcase up to defend himself.
"After all I've done for you!" yells Doris, stabbing the briefcase.
"Drop the knife, lady..." says one of the police officers, aiming a taser right at her head.
"This is my house!" screams Doris, lunging at the police officer. "Get out!"
Buck cowers against the wall as the second officer also raises a taser.
So in tomorrow's Rex Morgan MD either someone's getting stabbed or someone's getting tased, or, if we're really lucky, both!
Mary Worth should also be worth keeping an eye on over the next couple of weeks as Wilbur's former girlfriend Iris is back in town, with her son Tommy, the former meth dealer who's recently gotten out of jail and is looking to turn his life around. Will he go back to his old ways, or will Wilbur's sandwiches and frolicking be enough to cure him? Either way it should be pretty great. In today's strip, Wilbur, Iris and Tommy have been invited to Mary's house for dinner.
"I've heard nice things about Jefferson. What's it like?" asks Mary as Wilbur and Iris keep their eyes on Tommy. "I've never been there."
"Tommy will have a better chance of getting work in a big city like Santa Royale..." says Iris, having mistaken Santa Royale for a big city. "But Jefferson's quiet pace was wecome in light of his status change. The months we spent there were good."
"Just say it. mom/ Jefferson eased the way for this former drug dealer who finally left prison!" thinks Tommy, gritting his teeth and grimacing at the floor.
Wilbur continues to glare menacingly at Tommy throughout the conversation,.
2013-12-04
2013-08-15
2013-06-10
Pondering Judge Parker
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| Judge Parker, 2013-05-26. |
Original Comic
2013-05-17
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