I haven't talked about Luann recently, and you may think that that's because it's terrible and I hate it, but you'd be totally wrong. It is and I do, but that's more a reason for me to want to talk about it. It's actually because it hasn't been particularly bad lately. It hasn't been good, obviously, it's just that not much of anything at all has happened. But this week that changed.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
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