Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2014-05-09.
Uriah is delivering the mail.
"Uh-oh..." he says, looking up. "Looks like rain !!"
Fortunately he has an umbrella for himself and a small umbrella which he attaches to his mailbag so that the letters don't get wet. It's just a pity that no one in Hootin' Holler can read.
Retail, 2014-05-12.
"Can I see your I.D., please?" asks Val.
"What for?" demands the customer.
"You wrote 'See I.D.' on the back of your credit card." says Val.
"-Huff- Of course the cashier only looks at it when I'm in a hurry." says the customer. "What a hassle."
"You're welcome?" says Val.
Did you know that writing "See ID" on your credit card is dumb and pointless? Because it is. If you wrote it instead of signing then your card isn't valid and, although most retail staff won't press the issue, they shouldn't actually accept it. If you did sign it then the card is valid and the staff have no right to see your ID regardless of what may be written on your credit card.
Shoe, 2014-05-13.
Skyler is taking a test at school. The first question is "Who was behind the first moon launch?" He thinks for a moment before writing "Ralph Kramden."
This is a comic strip that was published in 2014. Not 1970, 2014.
Showing posts with label Shoe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shoe. Show all posts
2014-05-16
2014-05-08
Sitcom Thursday: Medieval Attitudes About Women
Shoe, 2014-05-05.
"Biz, are you wearing your dentures?..." asks Roz.
"No." says Biz.
"Well, let me get you something you can sink your tooth into."
Both of them are birds.
I know I just covered this with Pluggers yesterday, but come on, birds with teeth again?
Hägar the Horrible, 2014-05-06.
"Sir Knight !" call Hägar. "We haven't seen you in ages ! Come sneak up with us on an enemy castle!"
"I've been out of commission for so long I might be a liability!" answers Knight.
"He's right..." says Lucky Eddie, noticing that Knight's armour squeaks when he moves. "He might!"
Given that Knight is wearing full plate armour and a helmet that covers his face, how did Hägar know it was him? And is his name really Sir Knight? Also, he seems pretty cavalier about joining a group of Vikings to attack some castle.
Curtis, 2014-05-08.
"Number one, never take your lady for granted" says Greg.
Curtis listens wearily.
"Number one, give her little gifts for no reason..." continues Greg. "Number one, never have another woman's number saved on your phone..."
Curtis slumps forward.
"Number one, make her feel that without her, your life would be trash"
"We've been at this for two hours, dad!" complains Curtis. "When does this list end?"
"Hey, we're past the halfway mark!" says Greg, smugly.
On no account should you ever make the mistake of thinking of a woman as a human being like yourself. They're more like robots. You just have to know the rules and follow them to get what you want.
Ah, and one of those rules is that you can't have any female friends, apparently. Or colleagues you might need to phone. Not that that should be a problem, because why would you have female friends? As though a man could ever have any reason to associate with a woman he doesn't want to have sex with. Absurd. And as for the work colleague thing, why would you need to phone your secretary? And if you do, just call your own office and she'll answer.
Marvin & Family, 2014-05-08.
"Where are you going, Jeff?" asks Jenny.
"It's a little too close to Mother's Day to answer that question" says Jeff, leaving the house.
"You told Jenny you're Mother's Day shopping?" asks Ted later at the pub.
"I never actually said that" smirks Jeff.
Hey, he might have deliberately deceived her by making a misleading statement, but there's no way anyone could equate that with lying, right? Besides, how is a man supposed to get some time to spend with his friends if he doesn't lie to his nagging wife, right guys?
Wizard of Id, 2014-05-08.
A prisoner hangs by his wrists in the castle dungeon.
"I'll not talk without my lawyer present" he says.
In the second panel a man in a top hat is hanging next to him.
"Thanks a heap, friend!" says the new arrival.
The implication is that the second man is the first man's lawyer, and so he has been arrested as a deliberate misinterpretation of the prisoner's demand.
"Biz, are you wearing your dentures?..." asks Roz.
"No." says Biz.
"Well, let me get you something you can sink your tooth into."
Both of them are birds.
I know I just covered this with Pluggers yesterday, but come on, birds with teeth again?
Hägar the Horrible, 2014-05-06.
"Sir Knight !" call Hägar. "We haven't seen you in ages ! Come sneak up with us on an enemy castle!"
"I've been out of commission for so long I might be a liability!" answers Knight.
"He's right..." says Lucky Eddie, noticing that Knight's armour squeaks when he moves. "He might!"
Given that Knight is wearing full plate armour and a helmet that covers his face, how did Hägar know it was him? And is his name really Sir Knight? Also, he seems pretty cavalier about joining a group of Vikings to attack some castle.
Curtis, 2014-05-08.
"Number one, never take your lady for granted" says Greg.
Curtis listens wearily.
"Number one, give her little gifts for no reason..." continues Greg. "Number one, never have another woman's number saved on your phone..."
Curtis slumps forward.
"Number one, make her feel that without her, your life would be trash"
"We've been at this for two hours, dad!" complains Curtis. "When does this list end?"
"Hey, we're past the halfway mark!" says Greg, smugly.
On no account should you ever make the mistake of thinking of a woman as a human being like yourself. They're more like robots. You just have to know the rules and follow them to get what you want.
Ah, and one of those rules is that you can't have any female friends, apparently. Or colleagues you might need to phone. Not that that should be a problem, because why would you have female friends? As though a man could ever have any reason to associate with a woman he doesn't want to have sex with. Absurd. And as for the work colleague thing, why would you need to phone your secretary? And if you do, just call your own office and she'll answer.
Marvin & Family, 2014-05-08.
"Where are you going, Jeff?" asks Jenny.
"It's a little too close to Mother's Day to answer that question" says Jeff, leaving the house.
"You told Jenny you're Mother's Day shopping?" asks Ted later at the pub.
"I never actually said that" smirks Jeff.
Hey, he might have deliberately deceived her by making a misleading statement, but there's no way anyone could equate that with lying, right? Besides, how is a man supposed to get some time to spend with his friends if he doesn't lie to his nagging wife, right guys?
Wizard of Id, 2014-05-08.
A prisoner hangs by his wrists in the castle dungeon.
"I'll not talk without my lawyer present" he says.
In the second panel a man in a top hat is hanging next to him.
"Thanks a heap, friend!" says the new arrival.
The implication is that the second man is the first man's lawyer, and so he has been arrested as a deliberate misinterpretation of the prisoner's demand.
2013-09-04
Shoe
Cosmo, Sho and Roz sit at one end of the bar, looking at a woman at the other end (about a meter away).
"I hear she just moved here." says Cosmo.
"From where?" asks Shoe.
"Silicone Valley." says Roz.
This is in reference to the fact that the newcomer has large breasts, which Roz believes have been surgically enhanced. Which makes one wonder, given that these people are all birds, why do they have breasts at all?
The more disturbing implication though is that the inhabitants of Treetops are so bitter and socially isolated that they see nothing wrong with having this conversation right in front of its subject, making no attempt to hide it. The possibility of speaking to this stranger doesn't even occur. She is merely part of the outside world which they can comment on but not interact with.
Shoe, 2013-08-30.
"I hear she just moved here." says Cosmo.
"From where?" asks Shoe.
"Silicone Valley." says Roz.
This is in reference to the fact that the newcomer has large breasts, which Roz believes have been surgically enhanced. Which makes one wonder, given that these people are all birds, why do they have breasts at all?
The more disturbing implication though is that the inhabitants of Treetops are so bitter and socially isolated that they see nothing wrong with having this conversation right in front of its subject, making no attempt to hide it. The possibility of speaking to this stranger doesn't even occur. She is merely part of the outside world which they can comment on but not interact with.
Shoe, 2013-08-30.
2013-08-21
Shoe
"Hi, Roz." says Sen. Batson D. Belfry.
"Hi, senator, would you care for a martini?" asks Roz, who seems to be in in an uncharacteristically cheerful mood.
"Sure, if it needed me." quips the senator.
This seemingly innocent joke has an unexpected effect on Roz. She stares at the senator, goggle-eyed, leaving him confused, worried and with no martini.
Shoe, 2013-08-14.
"Hi, senator, would you care for a martini?" asks Roz, who seems to be in in an uncharacteristically cheerful mood.
"Sure, if it needed me." quips the senator.
This seemingly innocent joke has an unexpected effect on Roz. She stares at the senator, goggle-eyed, leaving him confused, worried and with no martini.
Shoe, 2013-08-14.
2013-07-05
2013-06-07
Shoe
A man in an old-fashioned suit and top hat is drinking a cup of coffee at Roz's Roost.
"You've had a good business here over the years, huh, Roz?" he says.
"That's because in my business, the customer is always right." says Roz.
"In my business," says the man, "the customer is always dead."
Shocked into silence, Roz can only stare.
Comic
"You've had a good business here over the years, huh, Roz?" he says.
"That's because in my business, the customer is always right." says Roz.
"In my business," says the man, "the customer is always dead."
Shocked into silence, Roz can only stare.
Comic
2013-05-31
Explaining Shoe
Shoe visits a prisoner in jail.
"It's an injustice, I tell you." says the prisoner. "I was arrested for impersonating an officer."
"What were you doing?" asks Shoe.
"Eating donuts!" says the prisoner.
Police officers stereotypically enjoy doughnuts, so the implication is that a person eating doughnuts may be attempting to give the impression that they are a police officer. The absurdity of that conclusion gives rise to the humour of the strip (if such humour could be said to exist).
Comic
"It's an injustice, I tell you." says the prisoner. "I was arrested for impersonating an officer."
"What were you doing?" asks Shoe.
"Eating donuts!" says the prisoner.
Police officers stereotypically enjoy doughnuts, so the implication is that a person eating doughnuts may be attempting to give the impression that they are a police officer. The absurdity of that conclusion gives rise to the humour of the strip (if such humour could be said to exist).
Comic
2013-05-05
2013-04-18
Shoe
Shoe is sitting by himself at the end of the bar. Cosmo is sitting at the other end talking to Roz.
Shoe groans.
"What's wrong with him?" asks Cosmo.
"It's his girlfriend Doris..." says Roz wearily. "She wants him to start calling her birthday Doris Day."
Cosmo is flabbergasted. Shoe looks absolutely miserable. Roz smiles.
Comic
Shoe groans.
"What's wrong with him?" asks Cosmo.
"It's his girlfriend Doris..." says Roz wearily. "She wants him to start calling her birthday Doris Day."
Cosmo is flabbergasted. Shoe looks absolutely miserable. Roz smiles.
Comic
2013-01-16
Shoe
"So, Phil, how was your day?" asks Shoe.
"Actually, I spent the entire day in my underwear surfing the web looking for a new job." says Phil. "My boss and co-workers were furious!"
Shoe reacts with horror, not understanding that that was a joke. Or perhaps just horrified by the image of Phil in his underwear that has come unbidden to his mind. Shoe himself is, of course, completely naked.
Comic
"Actually, I spent the entire day in my underwear surfing the web looking for a new job." says Phil. "My boss and co-workers were furious!"
Shoe reacts with horror, not understanding that that was a joke. Or perhaps just horrified by the image of Phil in his underwear that has come unbidden to his mind. Shoe himself is, of course, completely naked.
Comic
2013-01-06
Shoe
Shoe is sitting naked at a bar, between two other bird-men.
"So I'm on the ledge of our apartment building, getting ready to jump 23 floors..." says one of the bird-men sadly, "and my wife pokes her head out the window and says..."
Shoes and the other bird-man listen but display no interest.
"'You're not going out in that outfit, are you?'" finishes the speaker.
Shoe is so taken aback by this turn of events that his cigar falls from his beak as he goes slack-jawed and wide-eyed in shock.
Comic
"So I'm on the ledge of our apartment building, getting ready to jump 23 floors..." says one of the bird-men sadly, "and my wife pokes her head out the window and says..."
Shoes and the other bird-man listen but display no interest.
"'You're not going out in that outfit, are you?'" finishes the speaker.
Shoe is so taken aback by this turn of events that his cigar falls from his beak as he goes slack-jawed and wide-eyed in shock.
Comic
2012-12-29
Shoe
Shoe sits at the bar, cigar in hand, half-empty beer in front of him.
"Exactly where is this relationship going?" he demands, glaring.
"We're in a relationship?" asks the bird-woman beside him, glumly.
Shoe sadly switches his cigar to his other hand.
"I just thought you were stalking me." says the bird-woman, matter-of-factly.
Switching his cigar back to his left hand, Shoe leans toward the woman as though about to respond, but says nothing.
Comic
"Exactly where is this relationship going?" he demands, glaring.
"We're in a relationship?" asks the bird-woman beside him, glumly.
Shoe sadly switches his cigar to his other hand.
"I just thought you were stalking me." says the bird-woman, matter-of-factly.
Switching his cigar back to his left hand, Shoe leans toward the woman as though about to respond, but says nothing.
Comic
2012-08-22
Shoe
Cosmo is listlessly watching television, remote control in hand.
"What your hair needs is a touch of gray." says the television.
Cosmo slumps in his chair, his eyes wide with shock.
"What my head needs is a touch of hair." thinks the anthropomorphic bird whose body is entirely covered in feathers.
Comic
"What your hair needs is a touch of gray." says the television.
Cosmo slumps in his chair, his eyes wide with shock.
"What my head needs is a touch of hair." thinks the anthropomorphic bird whose body is entirely covered in feathers.
Comic
2012-08-04
Shoe
Shoe and his girlfriend are sitting together at an ice-cream shop. Shoe looks wistfully across the table at her and says "Really, I want you to be happy."
"Okay." she says dully. "I'm dumping you for another guy."
"Not that happy." says Shoe resignedly.
She just stares back at him, saying nothing.
Comic
"Okay." she says dully. "I'm dumping you for another guy."
"Not that happy." says Shoe resignedly.
She just stares back at him, saying nothing.
Comic
2012-07-15
2012-06-14
Shoe
Roz is at a restaurant with a friend.
"What a nice lunch..." her friend remarks. "Are you having a strawberry tart?"
"I'd better not." Roz replies, glaring with undisguised hatred and resentment. "They say tarts are the gateway dessert to cheesecake."
Her friend stares at her in goggle-eyed horror.
Comic
"What a nice lunch..." her friend remarks. "Are you having a strawberry tart?"
"I'd better not." Roz replies, glaring with undisguised hatred and resentment. "They say tarts are the gateway dessert to cheesecake."
Her friend stares at her in goggle-eyed horror.
Comic
2012-05-26
Shoe
Roz and a customer are watching TV in the café.
"Attention passengers." says a voice on TV. "Flight 2712 has posted yet another change."
"What's on?" asks the customer.
"It's a new soap opera that takes place at an airport." says Roz, ignoring the sudden blinding flash of light. "Delays of Our Lives."
Comic
"Attention passengers." says a voice on TV. "Flight 2712 has posted yet another change."
"What's on?" asks the customer.
"It's a new soap opera that takes place at an airport." says Roz, ignoring the sudden blinding flash of light. "Delays of Our Lives."
Comic
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