I don't have anything to say about it, I just had to document its existence, because no one would believe it.
Showing posts with label Luann. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Luann. Show all posts
2017-06-16
Filth
I meant to pot this last week when it actually happened but then I completely forgot and was just reminded of it today. So anyway, this is an actual, unedited Luann strip that appeared in newspapers and on GoComics.
I don't have anything to say about it, I just had to document its existence, because no one would believe it.
I don't have anything to say about it, I just had to document its existence, because no one would believe it.
2016-01-28
Gunther and Quill finally admit it
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| Sequence based on recent Luann comics. |
2016-01-06
2014-09-17
Melodrama Someday: Why is nothing happening?
Apartment 3-G is still just talk, talk talk. Jack's back now, and there's something wrong with his horse, but who gives a shit? Nothing is happening. Where is Margo? I'd even settle for Lu Ann. Just anything that gets us away from Tommie and Carol. I'm not even going to do a particular strip here, there is literally nothing to comment on. Moving on.
Mary Worth has finally finished the wrap-up and recap of the psychic Olive (prophet of the Lord) story with the conclusion that she's not psychic or anything, just intuitive, and Mary will definitely keep in touch with her (she definitely will not). The new story has started, but nothing has actually happened yet, so...
Nothing is happening in Luann either. We cut away from Rosa and Gunther (thank god), but in their place we got Luann and Bernice doing nothing and not revealing Bernice's mysterious new roommate, and now we're back with Bwad and Toni and TJ's insurance fraud, which sounds fun in theory, but nothing is actually happening. TJ just got the money and Bwad is still being all passive-aggressive about his suspicions, but TJ hasn't actually bought anything yet and Bwad is too spineless to actually confront him, so I guess this is going nowhere.
In Judge Parker, Neddy and Sam have met with Rocky and obviously he is absolutely thrilled to give her free use of his property to start her business because that's just how things work in this comic. And we've heard that there may be some ongoing drama with Godiva, but she hasn't actually been in the strip at all so it's just been boring people talking about something interesting that may or may not be happening off-screen.
But here's something. Sally Forth is actually dipping it's toe into the soap-opera genre this week, as it does from time to time. Alice, Sally's co-worker (and only friend) Alice has been looking for a new job, leaving Sally feeling conflicted. On the one hand, she doesn't want to hold Alice back, but she feels that their friendship probably won't survive if they don't see each other at work.
Sally is at her desk, writing something with a pen on paper like a caveman. Alice walks in.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" says Sally.
Alice remains silent.
"Did... did the mood just change in this room?" asks Sally, looking around. "Is there a switch for that kind of thing?"
"I got a job offer." says Alice.
OK, it's not much, but honestly I have never seen the soap strips be so boring all at the same time like this before. There's usually something happening!
Mary Worth has finally finished the wrap-up and recap of the psychic Olive (prophet of the Lord) story with the conclusion that she's not psychic or anything, just intuitive, and Mary will definitely keep in touch with her (she definitely will not). The new story has started, but nothing has actually happened yet, so...
Nothing is happening in Luann either. We cut away from Rosa and Gunther (thank god), but in their place we got Luann and Bernice doing nothing and not revealing Bernice's mysterious new roommate, and now we're back with Bwad and Toni and TJ's insurance fraud, which sounds fun in theory, but nothing is actually happening. TJ just got the money and Bwad is still being all passive-aggressive about his suspicions, but TJ hasn't actually bought anything yet and Bwad is too spineless to actually confront him, so I guess this is going nowhere.
In Judge Parker, Neddy and Sam have met with Rocky and obviously he is absolutely thrilled to give her free use of his property to start her business because that's just how things work in this comic. And we've heard that there may be some ongoing drama with Godiva, but she hasn't actually been in the strip at all so it's just been boring people talking about something interesting that may or may not be happening off-screen.
But here's something. Sally Forth is actually dipping it's toe into the soap-opera genre this week, as it does from time to time. Alice, Sally's co-worker (and only friend) Alice has been looking for a new job, leaving Sally feeling conflicted. On the one hand, she doesn't want to hold Alice back, but she feels that their friendship probably won't survive if they don't see each other at work.
Sally is at her desk, writing something with a pen on paper like a caveman. Alice walks in.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" says Sally.
Alice remains silent.
"Did... did the mood just change in this room?" asks Sally, looking around. "Is there a switch for that kind of thing?"
"I got a job offer." says Alice.
OK, it's not much, but honestly I have never seen the soap strips be so boring all at the same time like this before. There's usually something happening!
2014-09-02
Melodrama Monday: All Talk
It turns out that Dr. Kapuht's drug use led to the death of a patient, so it's a good thing that Mary Worth convinced Olive's parents not to trust him.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-26.
At the hospital, Mary overhears two doctors talking.
"You'd never guess that he's a drug addict by the look of him! Kapuht fooled a lot of people!"
"It's always the ones you don't suspect, isn't it?"
"What a shame about the patient, though!"
"Yes, an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour... I'm glad it wasn't me!"
And "an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour" is just the best phrase. It's written so awkwardly that it sounds like they're not even blaming Dr Kapuht, it was just a thing that happened. You can't even tell they're talking about the fact that someone died. Oh dear, what a shame, glad it wasn't me.
Then a few days later we had this delightful strip.
I have no idea what's going on with Mary's face, but I love it.
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it turns out that Gunther isn't dead. Nor was his departure to Peru an excuse to write him out of Luann entirely. In fact, we just got a whole week of him, with the implied promise of more to come.
It turns out that Rosa's uncle's clinic isn't the underfunded, ramshackle jungle-based operation providing the only source of medical care available to the grateful savages that she had pictured and is, in fact, well-funded and located in a city, and her uncle is a plastic surgeon. You'd think she would have known this. You'd think she'd have made some effort to find out what her uncle did before flying to a different country to work for him. But apparently Rosa heard "clinic in NotAmerica" and leapt to an incredibly stupid conclusion.
Luann, 2014-08-29.
"Here's your cubicle." says Sofia (Rosa's uncles executive assistant). "Read these manuals — phone answering and data entry. Settle in and I'll be back to take you to lunch and perhaps some clothes shopping..."
"Unbelievable." says Rosa. "My uncle's 'clinic' is a nip'n tuck factory!"
"Hey! I know this program!" says Gunther.
God, this is just so dumb. And although we're back with Luann herself this week, I can't help but feel that we're in for more of Rosa and Gunther in the near future. When will the Evanses realise that Tiffany is the best character and make the strip just be about her?
Unbelievably, Apartment 3-G is still dragging out this conversation between Carol and Tommie. The comic has just been the two of them talking since the 14th of July. And that's just going back to when the two of them played their incredibly mild practical joke on Tina, the supposed gossip. If we don't count Tina, it's a whole extra month before we see anyone else, and that was just Jack Riley. Remember him?
Before that point it's just the three of them, Tommie, Jack and Carol, all the way back to the 11th of May when Aristotle left. That was the last time we saw any of the regular cast members other than Tommie. And she's been on Jack's farm since the beginning of April. Why won't this end?
Well, this week Tommie's been telling Carol about her ex-boyfriends (who actually were never boyfriends at all) and it's been exactly as boring as you'd imagine.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-08-29.
"And that, Carol, brings me to doctor Joe Kelly. We worked together in the E.R. Joe was easy tot alk to and fun to be with right up until he..." says Tommie, "tried to kidnap his children, kill his wife and make a run for it."
"Whoa, Tommie — what the..." says Carol, grinning.
Remember when things used to happen in this comic? When it wasn't just the two most boring characters talking to each other day after day forever? Good times.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-26.
At the hospital, Mary overhears two doctors talking.
"You'd never guess that he's a drug addict by the look of him! Kapuht fooled a lot of people!"
"It's always the ones you don't suspect, isn't it?"
"What a shame about the patient, though!"
"Yes, an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour... I'm glad it wasn't me!"
And "an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour" is just the best phrase. It's written so awkwardly that it sounds like they're not even blaming Dr Kapuht, it was just a thing that happened. You can't even tell they're talking about the fact that someone died. Oh dear, what a shame, glad it wasn't me.
Then a few days later we had this delightful strip.
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| Mary Worth, 2014-09-01. |
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it turns out that Gunther isn't dead. Nor was his departure to Peru an excuse to write him out of Luann entirely. In fact, we just got a whole week of him, with the implied promise of more to come.
It turns out that Rosa's uncle's clinic isn't the underfunded, ramshackle jungle-based operation providing the only source of medical care available to the grateful savages that she had pictured and is, in fact, well-funded and located in a city, and her uncle is a plastic surgeon. You'd think she would have known this. You'd think she'd have made some effort to find out what her uncle did before flying to a different country to work for him. But apparently Rosa heard "clinic in NotAmerica" and leapt to an incredibly stupid conclusion.
Luann, 2014-08-29.
"Here's your cubicle." says Sofia (Rosa's uncles executive assistant). "Read these manuals — phone answering and data entry. Settle in and I'll be back to take you to lunch and perhaps some clothes shopping..."
"Unbelievable." says Rosa. "My uncle's 'clinic' is a nip'n tuck factory!"
"Hey! I know this program!" says Gunther.
God, this is just so dumb. And although we're back with Luann herself this week, I can't help but feel that we're in for more of Rosa and Gunther in the near future. When will the Evanses realise that Tiffany is the best character and make the strip just be about her?
Unbelievably, Apartment 3-G is still dragging out this conversation between Carol and Tommie. The comic has just been the two of them talking since the 14th of July. And that's just going back to when the two of them played their incredibly mild practical joke on Tina, the supposed gossip. If we don't count Tina, it's a whole extra month before we see anyone else, and that was just Jack Riley. Remember him?
Before that point it's just the three of them, Tommie, Jack and Carol, all the way back to the 11th of May when Aristotle left. That was the last time we saw any of the regular cast members other than Tommie. And she's been on Jack's farm since the beginning of April. Why won't this end?
Well, this week Tommie's been telling Carol about her ex-boyfriends (who actually were never boyfriends at all) and it's been exactly as boring as you'd imagine.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-08-29.
"And that, Carol, brings me to doctor Joe Kelly. We worked together in the E.R. Joe was easy tot alk to and fun to be with right up until he..." says Tommie, "tried to kidnap his children, kill his wife and make a run for it."
"Whoa, Tommie — what the..." says Carol, grinning.
Remember when things used to happen in this comic? When it wasn't just the two most boring characters talking to each other day after day forever? Good times.
2014-08-18
Melodrama Monday: Insurance fraud and drug abuse
You'd think that in the time since I last posted on a Monday, something interesting must have happened in at least one of the soap opera strips. Well, honestly, not really. Unless you can count anything at all that happens in Luann as being interesting.
Luann, 2014-08-01.
TJ is collecting the day's rubbish and tidying up in his food truck. Finishing up he takes the garbage bag out to the bin. Just as he reaches it,
KA-BLOOIE!!
His truck explodes. TJ is so shocked that his hat flies up into the air and he raises a single eyebrow.
Given that TJ had just that morning been complaining to Brad about how his food truck was not doing well and he hated working there, this explosion seems a little suspicious. When it turns out that the truck was fully insured, even Bwad becomes suspicious. There was a poll on GoComics where we, the readers, got to choose whether TJ would get the money or be accused of fraud. Unfortunately the voters decided to let him off, but I guess there could be some drama to be played out if Bwad continues to believe that TJ has committed fraud, Bwad being the conscientious and upstanding fire-fighter that he is.
But we'll have to wait and see, because now the focus has shifted back onto Luann and her friends. Could be worse, I suppose. We could be following Gunther.
Not much has happened in Mary Worth, because Mary has spent the last two weeks recapping the plot for Olive's parents and then again for Toby, but we did find out what Olive's mysterious powers were warning her about.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-09.
"Agree to it or not, the procedure has to be done." says Ed.
"It won't be with Dr. Kapuht!" says Evy. "I still don't understand why Olive dislikes him! He seemed fine to me!"
"Kids have peculiar likes and dislikes." says Ed. "Mary said Olive's very sensitive. Maybe something about him struck her the wrong way!"
Meanwhile (at the hospital?), doctor Kapuht rolls up his sleeve to inject himself with something.
So I guess he's meant to be a drug user? There are no labels, so it's impossible to tell what he's actually injecting, so it could be something completely legitimate and above board. I guess this means that he isn't going to turn out to be Satan. What a disappointment.
Luann, 2014-08-01.
TJ is collecting the day's rubbish and tidying up in his food truck. Finishing up he takes the garbage bag out to the bin. Just as he reaches it,
KA-BLOOIE!!
His truck explodes. TJ is so shocked that his hat flies up into the air and he raises a single eyebrow.
Given that TJ had just that morning been complaining to Brad about how his food truck was not doing well and he hated working there, this explosion seems a little suspicious. When it turns out that the truck was fully insured, even Bwad becomes suspicious. There was a poll on GoComics where we, the readers, got to choose whether TJ would get the money or be accused of fraud. Unfortunately the voters decided to let him off, but I guess there could be some drama to be played out if Bwad continues to believe that TJ has committed fraud, Bwad being the conscientious and upstanding fire-fighter that he is.
But we'll have to wait and see, because now the focus has shifted back onto Luann and her friends. Could be worse, I suppose. We could be following Gunther.
Not much has happened in Mary Worth, because Mary has spent the last two weeks recapping the plot for Olive's parents and then again for Toby, but we did find out what Olive's mysterious powers were warning her about.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-09.
"Agree to it or not, the procedure has to be done." says Ed.
"It won't be with Dr. Kapuht!" says Evy. "I still don't understand why Olive dislikes him! He seemed fine to me!"
"Kids have peculiar likes and dislikes." says Ed. "Mary said Olive's very sensitive. Maybe something about him struck her the wrong way!"
Meanwhile (at the hospital?), doctor Kapuht rolls up his sleeve to inject himself with something.
So I guess he's meant to be a drug user? There are no labels, so it's impossible to tell what he's actually injecting, so it could be something completely legitimate and above board. I guess this means that he isn't going to turn out to be Satan. What a disappointment.
2014-08-10
Weekend Workshop: I've been busy
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| Based on The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-07-18. |
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| Based on Funky Winkerbean, 2014-07-28. |
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| Based on Ballard Street, 2014-07-28. |
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| Based on Red and Rover, 2014-07-31. |
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| Based on Luann, 2014-08-01 and Inspector Danger's Crime Quiz, 2014-07-01 and 2014-07-28. |
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| Based on Luann, 2014-08-01 and Jane's World 2014-08-01. |
2014-07-07
Weekend Workshop: Is that still a thing?
It is! I just haven't done it in a while. I always mean to, but it's the weekend...
Just one letter...
Obviously this could never happen, because Sarah is effortlessly brilliant at everything.
There was originally an actual joke in this strip, so I edited it to be more consistent with the rest of Arlo and Janis.
I don't even know why I did this one.
Gunther's mum, has got it going on, she's all that Quill wants and he's waited for so long. Oh Luann can't you see...
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| Based on the Crock strip for 2014-05-27. |
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| Based on the Rex Morgan strip for 2014-06-03. |
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| Based on the Arlo and Janis strip for 2014-06-17. |
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| Based on the Arlo and Janis strips for 2014-06-05 and 2014-06-18. |
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| Based on the Luann strip for 2014-07-03. |
2014-06-30
Melodrama Monday: Terrible people getting everything they want
Luann and her friends have graduated from highschool and presumably will be starting university soon. Well, except for Rosa and Gunther, because they're going to Peru for some reason. If it were just Rosa it would be easy to understand; I'd want to get as far away from everyone from Pitts highschool as possible too, but that theory's sunk by her decision to bring Gunther with her. Other than Luann herself there's no one I'd be more keen to escape from. No, I take that back. Gunther is the worst.
Luann, 2014-06-30.
"Mom?" says Gunther. "I've made a huge decision. I'm -"
"Going to Peru next week with Rosa" says Mrs Berger cheerfully.
"Yes!" says Gunther. "How-"
"I heard you and Quill talking last night"
"Oh, so what do you-"
"I think it's time fo you to become your own person, Gunthie"
"Would that include finishing my own sen -"
"Remember when you said, 'why do I need a passport?'" she asks, holding it out to him.
Well, I guess that goes some way to explaining why Gunther is like he is. You'd think his mother would be less keen on getting him out of the house/country though. Maybe she's decided she likes Quill better and is planning on taking him in as her new son and forgetting Gunther ever existed. Wouldn't that be nice, if Gunther went to Peru and disappeared from the comic forever and we could all forget he ever existed? Just a strip three weeks from now with Luann mentioning that she missed his funeral with a footnote "Gunther died in the Amazon".
Speaking of people I wish were dead, Les Moore's been in Hollywood this week because his fucking awful book is being turned into an even worse TV movie and as usual he's acting like all this undeserved success and money is just the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-25.
Les sits in the office of Clay Wallace at Cable Movie Entertainment. Beside him he hallucinates that cat that represents his self-hatred or whatever.
"You've wasted your time creating a beautiful work of art, and you have my sympathy for that." says Clay. "Let me explain something... the folks paying the bills are 'Cable Movie Entertainment... not 'Cable Movie Art'!"
The cat rolls on the floor laughing. Presumably at the idea that anything Les produces could be described as "a beautiful work of art".
Poor Les, he's just too good at writing. What an incredible burden. Sure, he got to write the book and the screenplay and make shitloads of money off both of them, but now it turns out that these Hollywood philistines want to make some minor changes to his perfect, wonderful story about his perfect, wonderful dead wife. Lisa was the lucky one; She just died of cancer, she didn't have to suffer the unimaginable tragedy of being a successful writer.
And do you remember the girl in Mary Worth who seemed to be suffering from some sort of mental illness and hallucinated some fairies? Well, it didn't end there.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-18.
Later that night...
A pale woman in a white robe, with white wings spread behind her, surrounded by a blazing halo of brilliant light appears beside Olives bed. Olive sits up and stares at the woman in rapturous wonder.
An angel gives Olive a message.
The message, it turns out, was to stay away from the swimming pool, which makes sense as Olive can't swim, although it's a bit low-key for a messenger of God. Her parents regard this as a dream and are keen to ship Olive off to spend the day with Mary so that they can spend the day with each other.
The big surprise though is Mary. Rather than the obvious explanations of dream, hallucination or just a child making shit up, Mary's take on the situation is that it was an actual, real angel. I had assumed that this story was going to be about how the parents were too busy and self-absorbed to see that their daughter was mentally ill and Mary was going to save the day by convincing them to take Olive to a psychiatrist, so this development has thrown me a bit.
Now I'm hoping that this marks the comic's transition into the world of the supernatural, that fairies and angels are just real now and are going to start showing up all the time.
Another surprising development, this time in Rex Morgan. Remember Mrs Pierpont, the rich old lady who wanted to meet Sarah? Well, she's decided she likes Sarah and to basically give her whatever she wants, of course. And since Kelly's there she gets free stuff too.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-06-29.
"Really, you have a chauffeur named Bugsy?" asks Kelly.
"Bugsy worked for my late husband when we were in the rackets..." says Mrs Pierpont. "... I mean the dry-cleaning business!"
Sarah is too young to have caught the slip and Kelly doesn't seem to have noticed either.
"What about Mrs. Lanning?" asks Sarah. "Isn't she part of our book team anymore?"
"Do you want her to be?" asks Mrs Pierpont.
"She's actually been very good to Sarah!" says Kelly. "And I think her job depends on this project!"
"Actually, her job depends on me and my million bucks!" says Mrs Pierpont. "What do you think, Sarah... should I give it to them?"
Sarah looks incredulous.
"You're asking me... a little kid?"
"You're a smart girl! Should I give the museum a million dollars?"
Having never been given any reason to doubt that she is, in fact, a child of unrivalled intelligence and wisdom, Sarah quickly accepts the idea of adults asking her for advice.
"Absolutely!" she says.
And so begins Sarah's first step into the world of organised crime...
Luann, 2014-06-30.
"Mom?" says Gunther. "I've made a huge decision. I'm -"
"Going to Peru next week with Rosa" says Mrs Berger cheerfully.
"Yes!" says Gunther. "How-"
"I heard you and Quill talking last night"
"Oh, so what do you-"
"I think it's time fo you to become your own person, Gunthie"
"Would that include finishing my own sen -"
"Remember when you said, 'why do I need a passport?'" she asks, holding it out to him.
Well, I guess that goes some way to explaining why Gunther is like he is. You'd think his mother would be less keen on getting him out of the house/country though. Maybe she's decided she likes Quill better and is planning on taking him in as her new son and forgetting Gunther ever existed. Wouldn't that be nice, if Gunther went to Peru and disappeared from the comic forever and we could all forget he ever existed? Just a strip three weeks from now with Luann mentioning that she missed his funeral with a footnote "Gunther died in the Amazon".
Speaking of people I wish were dead, Les Moore's been in Hollywood this week because his fucking awful book is being turned into an even worse TV movie and as usual he's acting like all this undeserved success and money is just the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-25.
Les sits in the office of Clay Wallace at Cable Movie Entertainment. Beside him he hallucinates that cat that represents his self-hatred or whatever.
"You've wasted your time creating a beautiful work of art, and you have my sympathy for that." says Clay. "Let me explain something... the folks paying the bills are 'Cable Movie Entertainment... not 'Cable Movie Art'!"
The cat rolls on the floor laughing. Presumably at the idea that anything Les produces could be described as "a beautiful work of art".
Poor Les, he's just too good at writing. What an incredible burden. Sure, he got to write the book and the screenplay and make shitloads of money off both of them, but now it turns out that these Hollywood philistines want to make some minor changes to his perfect, wonderful story about his perfect, wonderful dead wife. Lisa was the lucky one; She just died of cancer, she didn't have to suffer the unimaginable tragedy of being a successful writer.
And do you remember the girl in Mary Worth who seemed to be suffering from some sort of mental illness and hallucinated some fairies? Well, it didn't end there.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-18.
Later that night...
A pale woman in a white robe, with white wings spread behind her, surrounded by a blazing halo of brilliant light appears beside Olives bed. Olive sits up and stares at the woman in rapturous wonder.
An angel gives Olive a message.
The message, it turns out, was to stay away from the swimming pool, which makes sense as Olive can't swim, although it's a bit low-key for a messenger of God. Her parents regard this as a dream and are keen to ship Olive off to spend the day with Mary so that they can spend the day with each other.
The big surprise though is Mary. Rather than the obvious explanations of dream, hallucination or just a child making shit up, Mary's take on the situation is that it was an actual, real angel. I had assumed that this story was going to be about how the parents were too busy and self-absorbed to see that their daughter was mentally ill and Mary was going to save the day by convincing them to take Olive to a psychiatrist, so this development has thrown me a bit.
Now I'm hoping that this marks the comic's transition into the world of the supernatural, that fairies and angels are just real now and are going to start showing up all the time.
Another surprising development, this time in Rex Morgan. Remember Mrs Pierpont, the rich old lady who wanted to meet Sarah? Well, she's decided she likes Sarah and to basically give her whatever she wants, of course. And since Kelly's there she gets free stuff too.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-06-29.
"Really, you have a chauffeur named Bugsy?" asks Kelly.
"Bugsy worked for my late husband when we were in the rackets..." says Mrs Pierpont. "... I mean the dry-cleaning business!"
Sarah is too young to have caught the slip and Kelly doesn't seem to have noticed either.
"What about Mrs. Lanning?" asks Sarah. "Isn't she part of our book team anymore?"
"Do you want her to be?" asks Mrs Pierpont.
"She's actually been very good to Sarah!" says Kelly. "And I think her job depends on this project!"
"Actually, her job depends on me and my million bucks!" says Mrs Pierpont. "What do you think, Sarah... should I give it to them?"
Sarah looks incredulous.
"You're asking me... a little kid?"
"You're a smart girl! Should I give the museum a million dollars?"
Having never been given any reason to doubt that she is, in fact, a child of unrivalled intelligence and wisdom, Sarah quickly accepts the idea of adults asking her for advice.
"Absolutely!" she says.
And so begins Sarah's first step into the world of organised crime...
2014-06-16
Melodrama Monday: Bullies are people who hate themselves
This week, Mary Worth met Olive, a little girl who seems to suffer from vivid hallucinations. Mary took her on a tour of the garden and showed her the roses, and Olive saw fairies amongst the flowers.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-11.
"Do you see them? The flower fairies?" asks Olive.
"Sure..." ays Mary, stifling a giggle.
"Flower fairies!" she thinks. "What an imagination this girl has!"
I guess Mary doesn't have much experience with children, because if we, the audience, hadn't been clued in by the art that the girl was hallucinating, here wouldn't seem to be anything remarkable about what that girl said. Kids talk about make-believe stuff all the time.
Combined with the way the fairies are drawn, as though actually in the scene, Mary's ludicrous over-reaction to how incredibly imaginative Olive is leads me to conclude that Olive is actually mentally ill. If this turns into a boring story of a kid who feels neglected by her busy parents I'll be very disappointed.
And the big reveal in Luann, the culmination of Bernice's secret plan with Tiffany...
Bernice got a haircut, then hid it under a wig that looked exactly like her old hair so that she could dramatically remove the wig as part of her graduation speech. That's it. I'm not even going to write this one out, it's too dumb.
In Funky Winkerbean news, Wally and Rachel got married. In the only wedding I've ever seen that could be mistaken for a funeral. And eventually (because of the rain) the ceremony was carried out in Montoni's, because that is literally the only business operating in Westview other than the comic shop.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-14.
"Now, where were we...?" asks the officiant.
"I do!" says Rachel.
"I do too!" Wally replies.
"Done!" says the officiant, understandably eager to be done with this and go somewhere less awful.
"I hope they'll be happy." says Holly.
"I don't see why not..." says Funky, smirking. "They don't call Montoni's 'the wedding chapel of love' for nothing!"
They don't call it that, Funky. No one calls it that.
And in Rex Morgan, Sarah stood up to a bully who then immediately backed down, because that's what happens, right? I don't know how bullies even still exist since all you have to do is stand up to them once and you solve the problem forever.
Rex Morgan, MD, 2014-06-16.
Mrs. Pierpont request to meet Sarah after watching her handle the class bully!
"You handled that pugnacious reprobate quite adroitly, Sarah!" says Mrs Pierpont, presumably in a posh English accent.
"Uh...?" says Sarah.
"Nice job on the way you handled that class bully!" explains Mrs. Pierpont, because it's funny when posh people translate their fancy words into normal-person English.
"Thank you..." says Sarah, "that's what I thought you said."
Sarah actually had no idea, she just always assumes that people are complimenting her.
Safe Havens, 2014-06-16.
Dave and Samantha meet in an airport.
"Happy anniversary!" they yell as they run toward each other.
"Wait." says Dave. "Something's —"
"I know." says Samantha. "Palmtop has a new family, and grandma's ring is on tour with Bambi. For the first time..."
"We're alone!" they say together.
Dave is conspicuously still wearing his "Google Glass device" though, so presumably they're only alone if you don't count all the people watching online.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-11.
"Do you see them? The flower fairies?" asks Olive.
"Sure..." ays Mary, stifling a giggle.
"Flower fairies!" she thinks. "What an imagination this girl has!"
I guess Mary doesn't have much experience with children, because if we, the audience, hadn't been clued in by the art that the girl was hallucinating, here wouldn't seem to be anything remarkable about what that girl said. Kids talk about make-believe stuff all the time.
Combined with the way the fairies are drawn, as though actually in the scene, Mary's ludicrous over-reaction to how incredibly imaginative Olive is leads me to conclude that Olive is actually mentally ill. If this turns into a boring story of a kid who feels neglected by her busy parents I'll be very disappointed.
And the big reveal in Luann, the culmination of Bernice's secret plan with Tiffany...
Bernice got a haircut, then hid it under a wig that looked exactly like her old hair so that she could dramatically remove the wig as part of her graduation speech. That's it. I'm not even going to write this one out, it's too dumb.
In Funky Winkerbean news, Wally and Rachel got married. In the only wedding I've ever seen that could be mistaken for a funeral. And eventually (because of the rain) the ceremony was carried out in Montoni's, because that is literally the only business operating in Westview other than the comic shop.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-14.
"Now, where were we...?" asks the officiant.
"I do!" says Rachel.
"I do too!" Wally replies.
"Done!" says the officiant, understandably eager to be done with this and go somewhere less awful.
"I hope they'll be happy." says Holly.
"I don't see why not..." says Funky, smirking. "They don't call Montoni's 'the wedding chapel of love' for nothing!"
They don't call it that, Funky. No one calls it that.
And in Rex Morgan, Sarah stood up to a bully who then immediately backed down, because that's what happens, right? I don't know how bullies even still exist since all you have to do is stand up to them once and you solve the problem forever.
Rex Morgan, MD, 2014-06-16.
Mrs. Pierpont request to meet Sarah after watching her handle the class bully!
"You handled that pugnacious reprobate quite adroitly, Sarah!" says Mrs Pierpont, presumably in a posh English accent.
"Uh...?" says Sarah.
"Nice job on the way you handled that class bully!" explains Mrs. Pierpont, because it's funny when posh people translate their fancy words into normal-person English.
"Thank you..." says Sarah, "that's what I thought you said."
Sarah actually had no idea, she just always assumes that people are complimenting her.
Safe Havens, 2014-06-16.
Dave and Samantha meet in an airport.
"Happy anniversary!" they yell as they run toward each other.
"Wait." says Dave. "Something's —"
"I know." says Samantha. "Palmtop has a new family, and grandma's ring is on tour with Bambi. For the first time..."
"We're alone!" they say together.
Dave is conspicuously still wearing his "Google Glass device" though, so presumably they're only alone if you don't count all the people watching online.
2014-06-09
Melodrama Monday: I probably shouldn't care this much about Luann
Apartment 3-G this week has been nearly incomprehensible. The combination of Frank Bolle's refusal to draw anything but people standing around talking (and only from the shoulders up) with dialogue that more closely resembles random sentences than an actual conversation has made it difficult, but I've mostly managed to piece together what's happening.
It turns out that Jack's wife died several years ago and Carol, his current girlfriend, was her best friend. This sounds like there might be some sort of murder conspiracy going on, but that's way too exciting for Apartment 3-G. Does this look like Judge Parker? No, Judge Parker is drawn competently.
Also Tommie is still around. And so is Lily the deer, who is now apparently "friends" with Mary the mare. Although the only evidence we've seen of this friendship so far is Carol saying so.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-06-09.
In the wee hours of the morning...
"Jack, what are you doing out here and why are you up at five A.M.?" asks Carol.
"Joey and I are taking a trip." says Jack.
"What are you talking about?!" asks Carol.
"You should go back to bed, Carol." says Jack.
Who is Joey? Has Joey been mentioned before and I just forgot? Also, the art in this strip reminds me of that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the guy somehow drains Counsellor Troi's youth, because Jack is looking younger than normal and Carol appears to now be about 80.
Luann, 2014-06-05.
"How awesome that you're valedictorian!" says Luann, to Bernice.
"No surprise, though" says Delta.
"I dunno," says Bernice, "you're right up there, Delta. Gunther, too. And Rosa"
"Want us to help you with your grad speech?" asks Delta.
"Nope. I'm gonna get help from Tiffany"
"Tiffany?!" screeches Luann, the only member of her friendship group who still holds this pathetic grudge. She is ignored.
"What, you're doing a cheer routine?" asks Delta.
"It's a secret" says Bernice.
There are about ten students in this graduating class, and apparently four of them were in the running for valedictorian. And notably, Luann was not one of them. I'm really looking forward to this graduation, to see if they actually go ahead with the "Luann is a lazy dumbass who is barely tolerated by her friends" thing they've been building up lately. I'd love to see Delta, Bernice, Tiffany, Rosa and Quill all do well and go off and be successful leaving Luann, Gunther and Knute behind forever. In my ideal version of events, the comic follows Tiffany from that point on, but seeing Luann's inevitable failures would be fine too.
Sally Forth has been focusing on Hilary and her friends this week, and their newly re-formed band. Turns out Hilary's kind of an arsehole.
Sally Forth, 2014-06-04.
"Despite what you may think, Hil," says Faye, "you're not the only one who's been writing songs for this band."
Hilary takes a look at the sheaf of papers.
"Wow, Faye, these are really heartfelt... revealing... personal... all the better to save for your solo album instead."
"I'm gonna kill her." Says Faye to Nona.
"Just channel that rage back into your songwriting." suggests Nona.
But then Nona reminded Hilary that they have to study and don't really have time for this anyway, a fact that Hilary had completely forgotten.
It turns out that Jack's wife died several years ago and Carol, his current girlfriend, was her best friend. This sounds like there might be some sort of murder conspiracy going on, but that's way too exciting for Apartment 3-G. Does this look like Judge Parker? No, Judge Parker is drawn competently.
Also Tommie is still around. And so is Lily the deer, who is now apparently "friends" with Mary the mare. Although the only evidence we've seen of this friendship so far is Carol saying so.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-06-09.
In the wee hours of the morning...
"Jack, what are you doing out here and why are you up at five A.M.?" asks Carol.
"Joey and I are taking a trip." says Jack.
"What are you talking about?!" asks Carol.
"You should go back to bed, Carol." says Jack.
Who is Joey? Has Joey been mentioned before and I just forgot? Also, the art in this strip reminds me of that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the guy somehow drains Counsellor Troi's youth, because Jack is looking younger than normal and Carol appears to now be about 80.
Luann, 2014-06-05.
"How awesome that you're valedictorian!" says Luann, to Bernice.
"No surprise, though" says Delta.
"I dunno," says Bernice, "you're right up there, Delta. Gunther, too. And Rosa"
"Want us to help you with your grad speech?" asks Delta.
"Nope. I'm gonna get help from Tiffany"
"Tiffany?!" screeches Luann, the only member of her friendship group who still holds this pathetic grudge. She is ignored.
"What, you're doing a cheer routine?" asks Delta.
"It's a secret" says Bernice.
There are about ten students in this graduating class, and apparently four of them were in the running for valedictorian. And notably, Luann was not one of them. I'm really looking forward to this graduation, to see if they actually go ahead with the "Luann is a lazy dumbass who is barely tolerated by her friends" thing they've been building up lately. I'd love to see Delta, Bernice, Tiffany, Rosa and Quill all do well and go off and be successful leaving Luann, Gunther and Knute behind forever. In my ideal version of events, the comic follows Tiffany from that point on, but seeing Luann's inevitable failures would be fine too.
Sally Forth has been focusing on Hilary and her friends this week, and their newly re-formed band. Turns out Hilary's kind of an arsehole.
Sally Forth, 2014-06-04.
"Despite what you may think, Hil," says Faye, "you're not the only one who's been writing songs for this band."
Hilary takes a look at the sheaf of papers.
"Wow, Faye, these are really heartfelt... revealing... personal... all the better to save for your solo album instead."
"I'm gonna kill her." Says Faye to Nona.
"Just channel that rage back into your songwriting." suggests Nona.
But then Nona reminded Hilary that they have to study and don't really have time for this anyway, a fact that Hilary had completely forgotten.
2014-05-19
Melodrama Monday: Redeem yourself!
Rex Morgan shifted focus this week onto June's new job, which has been pretty dull so far, but before that June had spoken to Kelly and told her to play along with Sarah for the moment. Presumably some comeuppance is in store for Sarah, but June's given no indication so far of what it might be.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-14.
"That took a long time!" says Sarah, accusingly. "What were you and mommy talking about?"
"We were talking about you..." says Kelly. "and how amazingly talented you are!"
"Really?" asks Sarah. "you were?"
"Absolutely!" says Kelly. "Now let's get to work, shall we?"
So I guess Sarah was totally willing to buy that June pulled Kelly aside to have a quick chat about how talented she is. Also, how great is this panel?
And in Apartment 3-G, Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Let's call it a farm. In addition to the deer she is still apparently keeping in the house she's now adopted a horse (a mare she's named Mary — I guess Lily should be glad she didn't get Deirdre). I guess what it takes to get over the loss of a fiancé is adopting every animal you find.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-19.
Morning at Jack's place...
"Hello?!" says a woman in yellow. "Who are you and what are you doing here?!"
"I'm Tommie Thompson — I work here. And you are?"
"Jack and I are old friends. Really good old friends!"
"And I still don't know your name." says Tommie.
Is this woman "really good friends" with Jack in the way that Dr Jeff is "good friends" with Mary Worth? It would help if we could tell how old she is, but since she was drawn by Frank Bolle that's impossible. It also makes it impossible to tell how to read the dialogue. Is she angry to find Tommie here? Shocked? Pleased? There's just no way of knowing. We also can't read Tommie's reaction here. Is she being friendly, or confrontational? It could go either way.
Speaking of Mary Worth, Tommy has decided that he will apply for the job of sandwich shop janitor.
Mary Worth, 2014-05-19.
The next day, when Iris pays a visit to Mary...
"My son's applying for a job at Jerry's sandwich shop!" says Iris.
"That's great, Iris!" says Mary. "I'm glad to see he found motivation!"
"He told me you had something to do with that!" says Iris. "If you did... thank you!"
Yes, it's all down to Mary Worth.
See? Without Mary, Tommy would still be a lazy slacker sitting at home all day. Maybe next she could help Iris get a job too.
And this last week in Luann has just been her teacher, Mr. Fogarty, talking about how he can't wait to retire because he has always hated being a teacher, has never even tried to do a good job and hates his students.
Luann, 2014-05-19.
"Have you told your students that you're retiring, Mr. Fogarty?" asks Miss Phelps.
"Yes." says Mr. Fogarty. "But they didn't listen, as usual —"
He opens the door and steps into the classroom.
"SURPRISE!" yell Delta, Bernice and Gunther.
A banner reading "FAREWELL MR. FOGARTY!" is hanging off to one side. Tiffany, Luann and Knute are also there.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-14.
"That took a long time!" says Sarah, accusingly. "What were you and mommy talking about?"
"We were talking about you..." says Kelly. "and how amazingly talented you are!"
"Really?" asks Sarah. "you were?"
"Absolutely!" says Kelly. "Now let's get to work, shall we?"
So I guess Sarah was totally willing to buy that June pulled Kelly aside to have a quick chat about how talented she is. Also, how great is this panel?
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| Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-15. |
And in Apartment 3-G, Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Let's call it a farm. In addition to the deer she is still apparently keeping in the house she's now adopted a horse (a mare she's named Mary — I guess Lily should be glad she didn't get Deirdre). I guess what it takes to get over the loss of a fiancé is adopting every animal you find.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-19.
Morning at Jack's place...
"Hello?!" says a woman in yellow. "Who are you and what are you doing here?!"
"I'm Tommie Thompson — I work here. And you are?"
"Jack and I are old friends. Really good old friends!"
"And I still don't know your name." says Tommie.
Is this woman "really good friends" with Jack in the way that Dr Jeff is "good friends" with Mary Worth? It would help if we could tell how old she is, but since she was drawn by Frank Bolle that's impossible. It also makes it impossible to tell how to read the dialogue. Is she angry to find Tommie here? Shocked? Pleased? There's just no way of knowing. We also can't read Tommie's reaction here. Is she being friendly, or confrontational? It could go either way.
Speaking of Mary Worth, Tommy has decided that he will apply for the job of sandwich shop janitor.
Mary Worth, 2014-05-19.
The next day, when Iris pays a visit to Mary...
"My son's applying for a job at Jerry's sandwich shop!" says Iris.
"That's great, Iris!" says Mary. "I'm glad to see he found motivation!"
"He told me you had something to do with that!" says Iris. "If you did... thank you!"
Yes, it's all down to Mary Worth.
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| Mary Worth, 2014-05-16. |
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| Mary Worth, 2014-05-18. |
And this last week in Luann has just been her teacher, Mr. Fogarty, talking about how he can't wait to retire because he has always hated being a teacher, has never even tried to do a good job and hates his students.
Luann, 2014-05-19.
"Have you told your students that you're retiring, Mr. Fogarty?" asks Miss Phelps.
"Yes." says Mr. Fogarty. "But they didn't listen, as usual —"
He opens the door and steps into the classroom.
"SURPRISE!" yell Delta, Bernice and Gunther.
A banner reading "FAREWELL MR. FOGARTY!" is hanging off to one side. Tiffany, Luann and Knute are also there.
2014-05-05
Melodrama Monday: Realistic characters and plots
Rex Morgan has finally discovered that his daughter, Sarah, is blackmailing her babysitter, and spent the last week explaining it to June, who did not take the news well. But Rex has a cunning plan to teach Sarah a "life lesson". We don't know what the plan is yet, and I don't have high expectations. In fact, I'm betting that Sarah's going to somehow turn this around on them, because she is way sneakier than her parents.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-05.
"Hi Kelly..." says June. "Thanks for staying with Sarah today!"
"It's OK, Mrs. Morgan, I'm glad to do it!" says Kelly, as yet unaware that June knows about the blackmail. "Ms. Lanning is waiting for us! She has everything set up in Sarah's studio!"
"You go ahead, Sarah!" says June. "I need to pay Kelly for her time!"
Sarah gives Kelly a calculating look. Does she know something's up? Does she suspect that June is onto her scheme?
And in Mary Worth, Iris and Wilbur are back together and have returned to the scene of their last attempted date, Jerry's Sandwich Shop. Wilbur is personal friends with Jerry. Only the finest sandwiches for Wilbur. And Jerry pays a visit to Wilbur's table to make sure that everything is satisfactory. After all, Wilbur is a big wheel at the newspaper and Jerry owes his success to Wilbur. It's not easy to get into the Best Eats column of a local newspaper without a man on the inside. In fact, Jerry's been so successful that he may need to hire more staff! Anyone see where this is going?
Mary Worth, 2014-05-02.
"My janitor is leaving soon!" says Jerry with a sly wink. "I'll have to ask the other staff to pick up the slack until I rehire!"
Wilbur looks bored.
"What does he do?" asks Iris, apparently not familiar with the word "janitor".
"Simple cleanup..." says Jerry, pausing to think. "Floors, restroom, sidewalk... and windows, too!"
Wilbur and Iris turn to look at each other and smile.
"We may be able to suggest someone to consider for that!" says Wilbur.
It's Tommy. In case anyone had trouble following this lightning-paced plot there's a helpful image of Tommy's face in a thought bubble shared by Iris and Wilbur.
Meanwhile, the other Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Ranch? Whatever it is. He has horses there. And Jack has spent the week making ambiguous comments that could be compliments (or sexual harassment) but turn out not to be because this is Apartment 3-G. Oh, and Aristotle Papagoras is there too.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-05.
Later that evening...
"I wish I could stay and talk, but Lily and I are tired." says Tommie.
"I told you I work her hard, Ari." says Jack.
The two men share a sly smile.
"Keep it up, Tommie —" says Aristotle. "You look great!"
"Thanks, professor," says Tommie, "and good night to you and Jack."
Lily the deer stands in the doorway staring into the house.
Oh yeah, she still has the deer and is still treating it like a pet. And apparently exhausting manual labour has done wonders for her appearance. Either that or Aristotle was making a mean joke. Could go either way.
And now that prom night is over in Luann it seems like it's never going to be mentioned again and we're straight back to business as usual.
Luann, 2014-05-05.
"Since you're all seniors, your final essay will be 'What High School Has Meanto To Me'" says Mr. Fogarty.
"Oooo!" says Delta.
"Great topic, Mr. Fogarty!" says Luann.
"So original!!" says Bernice.
"I can't wait to start!!" says Knute.
And not one of them is being sarcastic. Seriously.
"The word 'nothing' counts as an essay, right?" says Tiffany.
Why can't this comic just be about Tiffany?
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-05.
"Hi Kelly..." says June. "Thanks for staying with Sarah today!"
"It's OK, Mrs. Morgan, I'm glad to do it!" says Kelly, as yet unaware that June knows about the blackmail. "Ms. Lanning is waiting for us! She has everything set up in Sarah's studio!"
"You go ahead, Sarah!" says June. "I need to pay Kelly for her time!"
Sarah gives Kelly a calculating look. Does she know something's up? Does she suspect that June is onto her scheme?
And in Mary Worth, Iris and Wilbur are back together and have returned to the scene of their last attempted date, Jerry's Sandwich Shop. Wilbur is personal friends with Jerry. Only the finest sandwiches for Wilbur. And Jerry pays a visit to Wilbur's table to make sure that everything is satisfactory. After all, Wilbur is a big wheel at the newspaper and Jerry owes his success to Wilbur. It's not easy to get into the Best Eats column of a local newspaper without a man on the inside. In fact, Jerry's been so successful that he may need to hire more staff! Anyone see where this is going?
Mary Worth, 2014-05-02.
"My janitor is leaving soon!" says Jerry with a sly wink. "I'll have to ask the other staff to pick up the slack until I rehire!"
Wilbur looks bored.
"What does he do?" asks Iris, apparently not familiar with the word "janitor".
"Simple cleanup..." says Jerry, pausing to think. "Floors, restroom, sidewalk... and windows, too!"
Wilbur and Iris turn to look at each other and smile.
"We may be able to suggest someone to consider for that!" says Wilbur.
It's Tommy. In case anyone had trouble following this lightning-paced plot there's a helpful image of Tommy's face in a thought bubble shared by Iris and Wilbur.
Meanwhile, the other Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Ranch? Whatever it is. He has horses there. And Jack has spent the week making ambiguous comments that could be compliments (or sexual harassment) but turn out not to be because this is Apartment 3-G. Oh, and Aristotle Papagoras is there too.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-05.
Later that evening...
"I wish I could stay and talk, but Lily and I are tired." says Tommie.
"I told you I work her hard, Ari." says Jack.
The two men share a sly smile.
"Keep it up, Tommie —" says Aristotle. "You look great!"
"Thanks, professor," says Tommie, "and good night to you and Jack."
Lily the deer stands in the doorway staring into the house.
Oh yeah, she still has the deer and is still treating it like a pet. And apparently exhausting manual labour has done wonders for her appearance. Either that or Aristotle was making a mean joke. Could go either way.
And now that prom night is over in Luann it seems like it's never going to be mentioned again and we're straight back to business as usual.
Luann, 2014-05-05.
"Since you're all seniors, your final essay will be 'What High School Has Meanto To Me'" says Mr. Fogarty.
"Oooo!" says Delta.
"Great topic, Mr. Fogarty!" says Luann.
"So original!!" says Bernice.
"I can't wait to start!!" says Knute.
And not one of them is being sarcastic. Seriously.
"The word 'nothing' counts as an essay, right?" says Tiffany.
Why can't this comic just be about Tiffany?
2014-04-29
Melodrama Monday: Lost in the Wilderness
I haven't talked about Luann recently, and you may think that that's because it's terrible and I hate it, but you'd be totally wrong. It is and I do, but that's more a reason for me to want to talk about it. It's actually because it hasn't been particularly bad lately. It hasn't been good, obviously, it's just that not much of anything at all has happened. But this week that changed.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
2014-03-30
Weekend Workshop: Big Changes
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| Based on The Pajama Diaries, 2014-03-25. |
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| Based on Rex Morgan MD, 2014-03-25 and 2014-03-27. |
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| Based on Luann, 2014-03-28. |
2014-03-10
Melodrama Monday: You're So Party Let's Go Dancey
As expected, Tommie's fiancé appears to have died in a plane crash, although there's still the potential for entertainment in this scenario given that no one else in Apartment 3-G ever met him, so they might decide that Tommie just made him up. Her trying to convince everyone that she was actually engaged to a guy they never met and he really did die and wasn't made up could be pretty great. Unfortunately it's probably not going to happen.
Mary Worth's Tommie the reformed drug dealer plot is still moving pretty slowly, and seems unable to make up its mind what exactly Tommie's problem is. Is he worried about slipping back into crime, or about becoming a drug addict (again?) or just about not being accepted because of his past? Whatever it is, his current struggle is whether or not he should get drunk or try to stay sober and get a job. I know what I'm hoping for.
Luann took a break this week from the main cast wittering on about the school dance to bring us everyone's least favourite recurring story, Brad and Toni want to spend the evening together but have to look after Toni's niece Shannon.
As far as I'm aware it's never been explained why Brad and Toni, two independent adults, have so much difficulty finding time to spend alone together, but they complain about it constantly, and every time they do get together it's ruined by either Shannon, TJ or both.
The other element of these vignettes is that Toni's brother is an unfit parent and therefore Shannon is boisterous and disobedient (but actually she seems pretty normal to me) and Brad and Toni do their best to ignore and neglect her as much as possible.
Their method this time involved locking themselves in a closet tohave sex make out chastely hold hands during a supposed game of hide and seek. Naturally this resulted in them becoming trapped in there.
"I hear you!" calls Shannon. "Come out!"
"Brad, what happened?" asks Toni, concernedly.
"The lock broke!" shrieks Brad.
"Shannon?" calls Toni. "Honey, we're locked in. Brad's calling a fireman friend to get us out. So just be calm OK? Shannon?"
Meanwhile, Shannon takes the opportunity to go through Toni's wallet.
For the first time ever it looks like Shannon might actually be doing something to justify Brad's poor opinion of her, but it turns out she was just getting a credit card to use to open the door. Oh, and Brad forgot to phone his fireman friend back so he turned up later.
Things have also been happening in Sally Forth lately. Hilary decided that her band, New Delhi Monkey Gang, needed a chart-friendly, non-werewolf song to get some attention, so she wrote You're So Party Let's Go Dancey. Faye and Nona reluctantly went along with it to a point, but a T-shirt and music video were considered to be taking things too far. Hilary had to be stopped.
"Okay, Hil." said Faye. "We're not gonna wear that shirt. We're not gonna make a video. And we're not gonna play 'You're So Party Let's Go Dancey' anymore... I think we need a new direction... and I think I need to take over the band for a while."
"What?!" cried Hilary.
"Nona already wrote the new band name on the drum kit." said Faye.
"Actually," said Nona, "I wrote it on paper that I taped on the drum kit. I know how whimsical we are."
I bring this up for several reasons. One, because New Delhi Monkey Gang was an awesome name. Two, I don't know why but I really love You're So Party Let's Go Dancey as a song title. Three, I really enjoy the Hilary-centric stories in Sally Forth. And four, today's strip reminds us that Nona is able to hear the thoughts of those around her and Hilary keeps forgetting she can do that, which is hilarious.
Mary Worth's Tommie the reformed drug dealer plot is still moving pretty slowly, and seems unable to make up its mind what exactly Tommie's problem is. Is he worried about slipping back into crime, or about becoming a drug addict (again?) or just about not being accepted because of his past? Whatever it is, his current struggle is whether or not he should get drunk or try to stay sober and get a job. I know what I'm hoping for.
Luann took a break this week from the main cast wittering on about the school dance to bring us everyone's least favourite recurring story, Brad and Toni want to spend the evening together but have to look after Toni's niece Shannon.
As far as I'm aware it's never been explained why Brad and Toni, two independent adults, have so much difficulty finding time to spend alone together, but they complain about it constantly, and every time they do get together it's ruined by either Shannon, TJ or both.
The other element of these vignettes is that Toni's brother is an unfit parent and therefore Shannon is boisterous and disobedient (but actually she seems pretty normal to me) and Brad and Toni do their best to ignore and neglect her as much as possible.
Their method this time involved locking themselves in a closet to
"I hear you!" calls Shannon. "Come out!"
"Brad, what happened?" asks Toni, concernedly.
"The lock broke!" shrieks Brad.
"Shannon?" calls Toni. "Honey, we're locked in. Brad's calling a fireman friend to get us out. So just be calm OK? Shannon?"
Meanwhile, Shannon takes the opportunity to go through Toni's wallet.
For the first time ever it looks like Shannon might actually be doing something to justify Brad's poor opinion of her, but it turns out she was just getting a credit card to use to open the door. Oh, and Brad forgot to phone his fireman friend back so he turned up later.
Things have also been happening in Sally Forth lately. Hilary decided that her band, New Delhi Monkey Gang, needed a chart-friendly, non-werewolf song to get some attention, so she wrote You're So Party Let's Go Dancey. Faye and Nona reluctantly went along with it to a point, but a T-shirt and music video were considered to be taking things too far. Hilary had to be stopped.
"Okay, Hil." said Faye. "We're not gonna wear that shirt. We're not gonna make a video. And we're not gonna play 'You're So Party Let's Go Dancey' anymore... I think we need a new direction... and I think I need to take over the band for a while."
"What?!" cried Hilary.
"Nona already wrote the new band name on the drum kit." said Faye.
"Actually," said Nona, "I wrote it on paper that I taped on the drum kit. I know how whimsical we are."
I bring this up for several reasons. One, because New Delhi Monkey Gang was an awesome name. Two, I don't know why but I really love You're So Party Let's Go Dancey as a song title. Three, I really enjoy the Hilary-centric stories in Sally Forth. And four, today's strip reminds us that Nona is able to hear the thoughts of those around her and Hilary keeps forgetting she can do that, which is hilarious.
2014-02-23
Weekend Workshop: Christ, what an asshole!
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| Based on Arlo and Janis 2014-01-29. |
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| Based on Jane's World 2014-02-11. |
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| Based on Mark Trail 2014-02-15. |
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| Based on Safe Havens 2014-02-17. |
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| Based on Luann 2014-02-19. |
2013-10-16
Luann
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| Luann, 2013-10-12. |
So Gunther's set up the room into two clearly delineated halves. Gunther's side with various things he likes or is interested in, and Quill's side which is Australian. Because that is the extent of Quill's personality. He's Australian. Also he's heterosexual.
And if there's one thing we Australians love, it's the first things that come to an American's mind when they hear the word "Australia". Kangaroos, koalas, the Sydney Opera House, a map of Australia, the Australian flag. That's about it, right? The entire nation distilled down to its core.
And where would you even get a kangaroo lamp? Who would buy that?
Also worth noting, like Chip Flagston, Gunther loves lava-lamps. But what 21st century teenager doesn't have one of those in their room?
2013-06-23
2013-05-01
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