There's something really weird going on in the comics page today

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Sitcom Thursday: Surrealism, Nihilism, Solipsism

Lost in an endless void, Fred Basset looks around himself but sees no one.
"Is there anyone out there?!" he thinks, beginning to panic.
There is not.

---

"What's going on?" asks Major Greenbrass.
"The general is having a fight with his wife" says Sheila. "And he's trying to negotiate a truce"
The general is in a tank, his head sticking out of the hatch in the top. Martha stands in front of the tank, rolling pin in hand, glaring at him.
"I'll put the tank back if you'll put the rolling pin down" says Gen. Halftrack.

---

Pvt. Bailey and Sgt. Snorkel are in a jeep together. Snorkel seems a little worried.
"Where did you get the gas this morning?" he asks.
"At the airport" says Bailey.
"I thought so" replies Snorkel.
The camera pans out to reveal the jeep is not, as might be expected, on the road, but is actually soaring through the air far above Camp Swampy.

---

Pvt. Bailey is driving a jeep (on the road this time) when he spots a moose on the side of the road. Surprisingly, the moose appears to be attempting to hitch-hike. Later, Bailey and the moose arrive at Camp Swampy.
"Why are you giving him a ride?" asks Sgt. Snorkel.
"Because if I didn't you wouldn't have believed me" explains Bailey.

Huge, massive uninteresting developments

Wizard of Id, 2013-12-18.

So here's an interesting development, and it rather throws a spanner in the works for my "Wizard of Id is set in the present but in an alternate reality" theory. In fact it seems that Wizard of Id must be set in the future.

---

Fred Basset, 2013-12-18

What's this? An ongoing story in Fred Basset? Next thing you know there'll be jokes.

Poverty and mental illness

"Can I borry two items from you, Elviney ?" asks Loweezy sadly.
"Shore, Loweezy, whatta you need ?" asks Elviney.
"Food and' drink !!" says Loweezy. She tries to laugh it off, but Elviney knows it's no joke, the Smifs are living in poverty just like everyone else in Hootin' Holler.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2013-12-17.

---

Ziggy is at a restaurant. A large sign informs customers that the "Tuna Surprise" is just $8.95. Ziggy looks over his shoulder, just in time to see the head of a giant fish peeking around a nearby door, giggling to itself.

Ziggy, 2013-12-17.

---

Fred Basset, 2013-12-17.

Reading, it, you can see exactly how this comic came about. Michael Martin was trying to come up with an idea for a comic and he hit on the old standby of "technology is confusing". So he thought about something he'd had difficulty with recently, his new digital camera. But then he looked at the instructions and found that it was actually pretty straight-forward. So what was he going to do then, come up with another idea? Of course not. He just made up some nonsense instructions to make it seem more complicated, because the target audience for Fred Basset certainly isn't going to call him on it.

Fred Basset

Fred Basset, 2013-10-01.

An important part of the criminal justice system is the presumption of innocence and the requirement that the defendant be proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt to ensure that people do not suffer the consequences of crimes for which they are innocent. As William Blackstone said, "It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer".

As such, a valid defence can be made by showing that the crime may just as easily have been committed by another. If one cannot show which of the two is actually guilty then neither should be punished. So although Fred may have eaten the sausages, it cannot be proved that he did so and so he escapes punishment.

Of course, all this is irrelevant in this case as Fred is a dog and is therefore not legally responsible for his actions, and all blame rests with the owners who left the sausages where a dog could easily get them, and also left the doors and windows open, meaning that any animal could simply wander into the house.

And the worst thing is, this isn't even a rare occurrence. Fred is always eating food that his owners have left unattended, and various neighbourhood animals wander in and out of their house at all hours. Fred's owners are idiots.

Pondering Fred Basset

Fred Basset, 2013-09-17.

Well, this is a surprising development. The twins are psychic. Can they read human minds, or just dogs? What other powers do they possess?

Fred Basset

Fred's female owner would like to purchase a "double deckchair", a seat large enough for two to sit on together. Fred and his male owner both believe that it will cause trouble as the male owner will be unable to set it up correctly.

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Fred Basset

"Hasn't it boiled yet?" asks one of Fred's owners.
"A watched kettle never boils, dear!" says the other.
"Neither does one that isn't plugged in!" observes Fred.

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Fred Basset

"What are you up to then, Fred?" asks Fred's owner.
"Not a lot!!" thinks Fred.

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Fred Basset

Three dogs look at each other.
"Sorry —" thinks one. "A bit of a non-event today!"

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Fred Basset

"Sorry folks —" says Fred, "I haven't got anything for you today —". Then he leaves.

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Fred Basset

In the first panel, Fred is asleep.

In the second panel he sits up and yawns.

In the third panel he stands up and wags his tail.

In the fourth panel he walks away thinking "Start the day with a wag!"

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Improving Fred Basset

Based on this recent Fred Basset strip.

Fred Basset

Fred walks along the street with his eyes closed. Suddenly he comes to an abrupt halt and opens his eyes.
"This is not good!" he thinks.
Quickly he turns his head to look behind him.
"This is so not good!" he thinks.
Four dogs, grinning malevolently, approach from both sides. He's surrounded, there's nowhere to run. Could this be the end of Fred Basset?

No, of course not, nothing bad will happen, this is Fred Basset.

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Fred Basset

Fred's owner is talking to another man.
"I've always said," says Freud's owner, "Fred is one dog high and three dogs long!!"
"Ha ha ha" says the other man.

"Yes - There's nothing like an old joke..." thinks Fred.
"As long as it's a good old joke!!" he continues, glaring at his now worried owner.

The other man watches eagerly as Fred menaces his owner.

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