Fred Basset

Fred Basset, 2013-10-01.

An important part of the criminal justice system is the presumption of innocence and the requirement that the defendant be proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt to ensure that people do not suffer the consequences of crimes for which they are innocent. As William Blackstone said, "It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer".

As such, a valid defence can be made by showing that the crime may just as easily have been committed by another. If one cannot show which of the two is actually guilty then neither should be punished. So although Fred may have eaten the sausages, it cannot be proved that he did so and so he escapes punishment.

Of course, all this is irrelevant in this case as Fred is a dog and is therefore not legally responsible for his actions, and all blame rests with the owners who left the sausages where a dog could easily get them, and also left the doors and windows open, meaning that any animal could simply wander into the house.

And the worst thing is, this isn't even a rare occurrence. Fred is always eating food that his owners have left unattended, and various neighbourhood animals wander in and out of their house at all hours. Fred's owners are idiots.