Showing posts with label The Amazing Spider-Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Amazing Spider-Man. Show all posts

2014-09-24

Action Tuesday: *For the ghost who is about to kick some arse.

Spider-Man was feeling pretty good about himself after outwitting a man known for being dumb, and decided to push his luck by trying to sneak into Doc Ock's lab. For some reason he felt pretty confident that Octavius wouldn't be expecting him, but it turned out that Octavius totally was expecting him.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-09-19.

"Gotta find out what Doc Ock's planning." thinks Spider-Man as he creeps through the lab. "My Spider Sense is tingling — but that's probably just because Ock's nearby..."
Unseen by Spidey, a metal tentacle snakes around a console and FLIKs a switch.
"ARRRGG" yells Spidey as the floor he's standing on becomes electrified.
ZZRRAPPT

Turns out Doc Ock is planning to hold the city to ransom with his earthquake machine. No surprise there.



The Bozz of Time is about to send Mandrake home, but Mandrake somehow knows that he's been noticed missing in the present (even though there is no way he could know that).

Mandrake the Magician, 2014-09-23.

"If you move me back in time-- just before you kidnapped me-- and don't do it--" says Mandrake, "-- then I won't vanish-- my friends won't worry--"
"Clever, ancestor." says the Bozz. "No-- even I, ruler of time, cannot change the past."

OK, never mind the fact that being "ruler of time" doesn't really seem to mean anything if you can't change the past, what about kidnapping Mandrake in the first place? Was that not changing the past? It seemed like changing the past to me.



The Phantom (Sunday), 2014-09-21.

Jungle scouts! Kidnapped by those who would turn them into guerrillas!

"There's going to be a test later!" says one of the kidnappers.
"Test?" asks a jungle scout.
"Your first firefight, stupid! If you survive, you pass! Try not to flunk out!"
He picks up a rifle and takes aim.
"Okay! Moving on! Sniper's rifle! Sight your enemy through the scope! Like this!"
Suddenly the face of the Phantom appears in his crosshairs. He lowers the rifle.
"Who the... !? I could... swear I... saw..."
He looks through the scope again. Nothing. Just jungle foliage. He lowers the rifle again, visibly shaken. The jungle scouts begin whispering amongst themselves.
"Do you think he saw...?
"You know who!?"
"Yeah! I do!"

The daily Phantom is often boring and dumb, but the Sunday ones rarely disappoint.

2014-09-17

Action Thisday: Boring... predictable... HOLY SHIT!

Shit is about to get real in Dick Tracy as the team have arrived to put a stop to Axel's plans, but right now they're just waiting for morning. Anyone else feel like this story has dragged on too long? Early in their run Staton and Curtis were accused of rushing through their stories too quickly, but if that was a problem then, they've over-corrected. Personally I loved the fast pace and quick resolutions, but I guess maybe they were burning through their story ideas too quickly? Whatever the reason, I'm ready for this to be over.



Remember how Mandrake the Magician had been kidnapped and brought to the distant future by one of the rulers of Earth? It turns out she wanted him to put on a magic show for her. To start with she got a robot version of Luciphor (called Cobra) to attack him, and he blasted it with magic, which she loved. Then he got pissed off and "gestured hypnotically" to make her appear to be a child, to demonstrate what he thought of her.

Mandrake the Magician, 2014-09-13.

"Marvelous magic-- made me think I am a little girl" says the Bozz, looking into a mirror.
"Yes--" says Mandrake, "a naughty girl-- who should be treated as such--"
He picks her up and puts her over his knee.
"50,000 years ago-- this was called-- a spanking."
"!" says the Bozz.

Well, that's taught her a lesson. Or not, because it turns out she loved it. And the other two rulers want a spanking too. Seriously. I think this is the point where Mandrake becomes a fetish comic?



At least we can always count on The Amazing Spider-Man being hilariously incompetent. In order to test his suspicions about Doc Ock, Spidey broke into the jail cell where Ox was being held and "tricked" him into revealing that he was hired to commit a crime, possibly by Octavius.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-09-15.

"Ox gave me info he didn't know he had." says Spidey to no-one as he swings away. "Now I'm positive Dr. Octavius is up to no good!"
Meanwhile...
"I wanna tear Doc Ock limb from limb from limb." says Ox, gripping the bars of his cell's window. "But even I can't bend them cars like Spider-Man did."
Suddenly he stops, looking more closely at the bars.
"But — looks like he might've loosened one when he bent it back in place!"

So now Spidey has accidentally helped a criminal break out of prison. Good job, Peter!



And finally, James Allen shows us again that the new Mark Trail can be as good as the old (although for different reasons). It all started on Sept 9 when "Dirty", fleeing in his car, encountered some rhinoceroses The next day they attacked, and it just got better from there. Actually, don't even bother clicking those last two links, here they are in all their glory:

Mark Trail, 2014-09-12.
Mark Trail, 2014-09-13.

And then Mark dragged him from the flaming wreck.

Mark Trail, 2014-09-17.

Mark, Lori and Taurus are rushing Chris Dyer to the nearest hospital
"We'll be there soon Chris — just hang on!" says Mark.
"Mark, I was only trying to to make things right for me and Lori!" says Chris. "I never meant to ..."

God dammit, Mark, call him "Dirty"!

2014-08-26

Action Tuesday: What sound do guns make?

Dick Tracy is still stuck in the past (or whatever), but the rest of the team have finally figured out where he was going when he disappeared and are now researching the island.

Dick Tracy, 2014-08-22.

"Lex Associates holds Thunder Island?" says Tess.
"Fritz Ann, can you tell us about them?" asks Patton.
"Pardon me, Chief Patton, but I think we have all we need to know." says the Asp. "Lex Associates, when partially erased and reversed..."
He takes a marker and begins writing on the whiteboard.
"...spells Axel. He is our primary foe."
"Our records list Axel as missing presumed dead." says Fritz Ann.
"If only, Ms. Dietrich."

And everyone is just going to accept tht as though it means something. Wait a second, Dick Tracy left by car. Cars have wheels, connected by... Axles! Axle... Axel... am I the only one seeing this?



And Doc Ock still hasn't revealed his nefarious plan yet and continues to act as a far better super hero than Spider-Man ever was. In fact, he just foiled a bank robbery.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-08-26.

"Always glad to help, officer, when I can spare time from my research." says Octavius.
"Yeah?" says the police officer. "What're you workin' on these days, Dr. Octopus?"
"I fear I'm not at liberty to say... but I can guarantee it will shake things up a bit."
"Why is my spider sense suddenly tingling?" wonders Peter.

Good question, Peter. It's really hard to figure out what will or won't set it off. I thought the basic premise was that it was a sort of proximity warning, but the number of times you've been hit on the head (both by villains and by inanimate objects just falling on you) tells me that can't be the case. And in the past I've seen it go off because there was some important paperwork nearby, and because someone was talking about you. And not even someone nearby where you could have subconsciously overheard them.

In this case though, it's pretty obvious that Doc Ock is building some kind of earthquake machine. For crime. He's not even being subtle about it.



You know who else could use some help spotting the blatantly obvious? Mark Trail. He has finally discovered Dirty's poaching though, and rather than going to the police decided to just confront him about it. In the middle of nowhere, with no witnesses. Well, Lori and Taurus are there, but seriously, dumb move.

Mark Trail, 2014-08-25.

"You've interfered long enough, Trail!" says Dirty, tackling Mark to the ground and drawing a large knife.
"Chris, wait!" pleads Mark, totally forgetting to call him "Dirty".
KAPOW
Taurus holds a smoking rifle in his hands.
"Taurus!?" exclaims Dirty. "What are you doing?"
"I can't let you do that, Chris - now drop the knife!"

Since when does a gunshot sound like "kapow"? And why won't anyone call him "Dirty"?



And we have a new daily story in The Phantom this week, which is already off to a much better start than the last one. We meet two new characters, Barker and Shotgun, criminals who have a "hijack job" to do in the morning. Surprisingly, Shotgun is the more reasonable of the two, advising his partner not to get too drunk the night before.

The Phantom, 2014-08-26.

Barker and Shotgun walk past an alley and notice a homeless man with a shopping trolley walking along it.
"Hey, Shotgun!" says Barker. "Watch this guy flop!"
With that he pulls out his gun and shoots the homeless man.
"Are you out of your mind!?" asks Shotgun, aghast.

I guess they really needed to make this guy super-evil, just so the Phantom would look like the good guy by comparison.

2014-08-10

Weekend Workshop: I've been busy

Based on The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-07-18.
J Jonah Jameson has no sense of humour.



Based on Funky Winkerbean, 2014-07-28.
The original colouring made me think Les was shirtless, so I edited it so he was. There's no deeper meaning or joke to this.



Based on Ballard Street, 2014-07-28.
Original caption: "Steve's pretty sure now he's lost his drive."



Based on Red and Rover, 2014-07-31.
None of you are safe.



Based on Luann, 2014-08-01 and Inspector Danger's Crime Quiz, 2014-07-01 and 2014-07-28.
Anyone who reads Inspector Danger can tell you that this is absolutely what would happen if he investigated TJ.



Based on Luann, 2014-08-01 and Jane's World 2014-08-01
But it turns out that TJ was innocent!

2014-07-29

Action Tuesday: Call me "Dirty"!

It didn't take long for Jane's World to get back to more of a soap-opera style, but since I didn't post when it happened, here's how that cop flashback ended up.

Jane's World, 2014-07-11.

"This is unit 16 calling for back-up." says Chelle into her radio. "Officer down, one suspect dead.."
The dead man lies in the doorway, his gun on the floor beside him. Chelle's hat has also fallen onto the floor. Jill grimaces as she clutches at the bullet wound in her right arm.
".. Second suspect fled through the open window. He's armed, over." says Chelle.
"10-4..." replies the dispatcher. "Black and white dispatched. Ambulance en route. Over"
"Officer James is conscious and on the second level." says Chelle, checking on Jill. "I am pursuing secong suspect on foot... over."

You're tried to apprehend an armed criminal and he just shot your partner, so now you're going to chase after him by yourself, on foot, with no idea how far away your backup is? Chelle was a terrible cop.



Not a lot's happened in Spider-Man, Doc Ock is still pretending to be a super hero and JJJ is still funding him in exchange for the "free" publicity of being able to publish pictures of him doing so. Most recently the Ox has showed up and kidnapped Morton Q Pierport (whose name alone tells you that he's rich), supposedly for ransom money. But he let slip that he's actually acting on orders. Who could they possibly have come from, I wonder? Surely not Doctor Octopus, he's a hero now!

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-07-28.

"Spider-Man and Dr. Octopus are hurrying toward the kidnap scene..." says a television reporter, showing live footage of the chase (which casts serious doubts on the value of Peter's photos).
"Why's that wall-crawler trying to butt in on Octavius' heroics?" demands Jameson, through gritted teeth.
"He's a crime-fighter, Jonah. He fights crime." says Robbie, as though explaining to a child.
While...
"Can't let Doc Ock beat me to the Ox." says Spider-Man to no one, as he swings through the city.

Of course, Spidey and Ock show up at exactly the same time, and I can't wait to see how Peter screws this up. Also, I couldn't let this delightful panel of Peter being put in his place by Jameson slip by without notice.
Panel from The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-07-09.
He's got you there, Peter.



Dick Tracy has been a bit slow of late as well. Punjab and the Asp managed to track down the Butcher of the Balkans by following the guy they were previously interrogating and then Punjab did some kind of magic thing and made the Butcher disappear somehow. See if you can make any more sense of it than that.

Back in 1944 (or the place that someone is trying very hard to make look like 1944), Annie has discovered that the "Belinda" radio show seems to have a hypnotic effect on everyone, so she's asked Dick to meet her "junior commandos" club.

Dick Tracy, 2014-07-28.

Simmons Corners
"Annie, I'd like to meet your junior commandos, but I have another meeting to attend..." says Dick.
"They'll be here soon, Officer Tracy." says Annie.
"Ye gods!" says Dick, looking at his watch. "It's 4:40. 'Belinda' will be on the radio in 5 minutes!"
"Don't worry, you can miss it this once!" says Annie.
"I..." says Dick, standing up and holding a hand to his head. "I don't think I should."
"I bet your watch is fast." says Annie, jumping to her feet. "Sit down and I'll get you some water."

And then she threw the water on him and his memory came back. I think this comic made more sense when it was about moon people.



Mark Trail is still in an undisclosed country in Africa, and travelling around with Chris and Lori, some people he met in the airport. Turns out Chris is into Lori, but she doesn't feel the same, and for some reason Chris has decided that the only possible explanation for that is that Lori must have fallen for Mark. In the few days since they met. Why she didn't return his feelings before meeting Mark is clearly still a mystery.

So Chris decided to take Mark aside and kill him, then try to make it look like an animal attack. But first, get to know him a bit.

Mark Trail, 2014-07-15.

"What's on your mind, Chris?" asks Mark.
"Mark, please call me 'dirty'! My good friends call me Dirty!" says Chris, and this conversation's suddenly gotten a lot more entertaining.
"Mark," continues Chris (aka. Dirty) "I've known Lori for several years now... and I can tell you that I have grown quite fond of her!"
A nearby elephant laughs, presumably at the phrase "call me 'Dirty'!"

James Allen, you're all right.

Panel from Mark Trail, 2014-07-15.

2014-07-01

Action Tuesday: Mystery and Deception

Dick Tracy, having received a coded message somehow sent out by Annie, has gone off by himself to look for her in the middle of the night with no backup and no wrist wizard. I'm not sure if he even owns a mobile phone, given that he normally uses the wrist wizard, but it's probably safe to say that he didn't bring one of those either. So of course he's been knocked unconscious and taken to an unknown location.

Dick Tracy, 2014-06-29.

A calendar on the wall reads "June 1944" and rather than a picture the inside cover bears the slogan "Loose Lips Sink Ships". Dick wakes up in an unfamiliar bed. A woman wearing an old-fashioned nurse's uniform stands beside his bed. Her eyes are white, no pupils or irises.
"Is it morning already?" asks Dick. "Where am I?"
"Officer Tracy!" says the nurse. "You're finally awake!"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Nurse Pardene. You're in the hospital at Simmons Corners. You used to be our police officer. Don't you remember?"
"No..." says Dick, clutching his head.
"You enlisted the day after Pearl Harbor. You were sent home when you were injured at Anzio."
Nurse Pardene opens the door.
"Maybe some fresh baked cookies will make you feel better."
Dick looks up as a young red-haired girl comes into the room.
"Annie?"
"Hi, Officer Tracy!" says Annie, apparently totally at ease with her surroundings. "Have some cookies?"

What does this mean? I'm assuming it's not time travel (although given the moon people, clones, space ships, etc. it's not totally out of the question), but why is someone going to all this trouble to make Tracy think it's 1944? Why is Nurse Pardene drawn with Annie-style eyes? If she's an existing character, I don't think she went by this name before since I couldn't turn anything up on Google. Are they still on the island that Dick traced Annie to? What is going on here, and why?



The Phantom, 2014-06-30.

"The Phantom is rough on roughnecks!" - Old Jungle Saying.

Some of those old jungle sayings just don't sound very impressive. There's some awesome violence to distract us in that strip though. Also in today's. The Phantom is so cool.



On the other end of the super-her spectrum, Spider-Man is still being made to look stupid by the apparently reformed Doc Ock. Peter, J Jonah Jameson and Otto were in a car together as JJJ and Ock discussed their proposed business relationship. Jonah hates Spider-Man, but he apparently doesn't have any problem with suddenly repentant super-villains.

Anyway, as they drove they encountered a fleeing carjacker and Octavius decided he'd go after it. Peter tried to convince Jonah to let him out of the car too so that he could take pictures, but JJJ was quick to point out that that was a stupid idea as there was no possible way for a photographer on foot to keep up with a high-speed car chase.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-06-30.

Dr. Octopus goes after the carjacker...
"You wanted me to garner publicity for your paper, Jameson," says Ock, climbing out of the moving car, "will this do?"
"It sure will!" calls Jonah. "Well, what're you waiting for, Parker? Chase after him and take some pictures!"

See, it was a dumb idea when Peter suggested it, but now that Jonah is suggesting it it just makes Peter look even dumber, so everyone wins.

2014-06-11

Action Tuesday: Africa⁉

Dick Tracy is finally investigating Annie's disappearance! After teasing it for so long, Staton and Curtis finally had Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks meet with Tracy yesterday, and today they're going to meet with someone who Warbucks believes has information on Annie's whereabouts.

Dick Tracy, 2014-06-10.

The city's finest hotel, The Siam.
"You staying here, Warbucks?" asks Tracy.

"Heh-heh! I can't afford it!" says Warbucks.
"Welcome, Mr. Warbucks, Mr. Tracy." says a hotel staff member. "I'll summon him."
"Tracy, this is my friend, The Great Am." says Warbucks, introducing a man with a long white beard.
"So this is Dick Tracy!" says The Great Am. "Your face is very familiar."

There's a hotel that Oliver Warbucks can't afford to stay in? Oliver Warbucks the "multi-zillionaire"?



Spider-Man's latest story is off to a pretty good start too, with Doc Ock apparently turning over a new leaf and preventing a prison break.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-06-09.

Spider-Man finally reaches state prison...
"That mini-quake didn't do this wall any good." says Spidey to no one. "But I'll make sure no prisoners escape."
"No need, Spider-Man." says the warden. "Dr. Octopus ended the breakout."
"As you might have done..." says Ock, "had you arrived in time!"

Fighting crime and showing up Spider-Man, he'll fit right in with the rest of the city's heroes.



Mark Trail is going to Africa!
Mark Trail, 2014-06-10.

Mark Trail, 2014-06-10.

"My editor, Bill Ellis, wants me to go to Africa!" says Mark.
"Africa⁉" says Cherry, crossly.
"Africa?" says Rusty. "Oh boy ... Mark, can I go?"

Ha ha ha. Of course not, Rusty. Of course not.



And saving the best for last, Judge Parker continues to deliver. After another week of Katherine continuing to negotiate with the man holding her captive, as though she were the one in the superior bargaining position, Alan showed up. Remember how he wandered off earlier? Yeah, he went to find Katherine. And succeeded.

Judge Parker, 2014-06-08.

"You're the man from the ship!" says Flaco.
"That's right..." says Alan. "And that woman is my wife! I demand that you release her at once!"
"What is it with you people making demands all the time?" asks Flaco, understandably confused at the Parkers' utter obliviousness to danger.
"Untie my wife before somebody gets killed!" says Alan, presumably not referring to himself even though he's the one with a gun to his head.
"You have no gun!" says Flaco.
"I don't need a gun!" says Alan, cryptically.
"Flaco, my husband is a novelist!" says Katherine, as though that explains everything. "Perhaps you've heard of him... Alan Parker! He just wrote a best-seller!"
"Alan Parker?" says Flaco, clearly losing control of the situation. "The same Alan Parker who wrote 'The Chambers Affair'? I loved that book! I finished it on the ship just before Li Hai disappeared!"
"I'm glad you enjoyed it!" says Alan. "We're writing the movie script now!"
"You know," says Flaco, "I thought it would make a wonderful movie!"
Meanwhile, nearby a mercenary watches all this unfold.
"Now we have Mr. Parker in the picture!" she says. "What now?"
"Stay on target..." says a voice over the radio. "Wait for Abbott!"

And then Flaco asked Alan for some advice on writing before surrendering to Katherine. Judge Parker is my favourite comic right now.

2014-05-27

Action Tuesday: Everyone just wants to see Katherine naked

This week Alley Oop has been telling Ooola about how he fell off a cliff and died and was brought back to life, then someone write a book about it. Ooola thinks he's making it up and I haven't been reading this comic long enough to know if it's true or not. But now Foozy has just shown up to return a book Oop lent him, which Alley is implying is the one about his death, but actually appears to be Frankenstein.

Alley Oop, 2014-05-26.

"Did you like the book, Foozy?" asks Alley.
"A gripping tale that's soaked in fear! Best story that I've read all year!"
"Foozy, wh..." begins Ooola. "Wha... what's it about?"
"A man once dead returned to life, while all around are doomed to strife!"
"Toldja so!" says Alley.

OK, that is not the story of Frankenstein. I read it recently, so it's still pretty fresh in my mind. Frankenstein's creature, in the book, is not a reanimated corpse or even made from corpse parts. Frankenstein studied corpses to find out how human bodies work, but he made the creature (by some unexplained method) on a larger scale than a human so the pieces wouldn't be so small and fiddly, so it's not possible that he could have used parts of humans in the construction. I'm beginning to think that this comic about time-travelling, dinosaur-riding cavemen isn't as meticulously fact-checked as one might presume.



The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-27.

"One of the prison's walls has been felled by the quake..." says the newsreader on TV.
"Doc Ock may escape!" says Peter, finishing his coffee. "I've got to get up there — but it's way too far to web-swing to..."
"So this time, take a cab." says MJ, pulling a wad of cash from her purse. "This one's on me!"
"!" says Peter.

So many things I love about newspaper Spider-Man here. First there's the fact that he is once again finding out about potential super-villainy by watching TV, then there's the fact that he can't think of any way to get around other than by web-swinging. Also, he's dressed as Peter, in a public place, loudly talking about being Spider-Man. And I really hope we're going to see him feeling insecure about how MJ earns more than he does again, because that's always funny.



Judge Parker, 2014-05-27.

"Tell me, madam..." says Flaco, "did you know what kind of family your son was marrying into?"
"Mmmphhh!" says Katherine, because she's still gagged.
Flaco removes the gag because apparently that question wasn't rhetorical.
"Are you looking through my dress with those things?" asks Katherine, referring to the night-vision goggles.
"well..." says Flaco, taken aback. "Uh, no... not exactly!"

I can't tell you how much I love the fact that the only thing Katherine has been worried about this entire time is that people might be using surveillance technology to see through her clothes, even after several people have told her that that's not possible, and after she's been taken prisoner by a heavily armed man in the middle of the jungle.

2014-05-14

Action Tuesday: That's why they call him "dick".

This week, Dick Tracy has been looking into police corruption.

Dick Tracy, 2014-05-07.

"What's up, Tracy?" asks Sam as Dick pores through stacks of papers. "I haven't seen you hit the files like that since..."
He pauses for thought.
"Heck, I've never seen you hit the files like that. Lizz, Lee and I usually do the digging."
"I don't like what happened with the Kolossal case, Sam." says Dick.
He's probably upset that someone died horrifically and he wasn't there to see it.
"And I like what I'm finding in these related case histories even less." he continues. "I think Tabby Angus may be getting away with murder!"

So we learned that Dick Tracy really doesn't pull his weight. He just shows up in time to watch some criminals die and then leaves the paperwork for his co-workers.



The stalemate in Judge Parker hasn't really moved since last week, everyone's just been caught up on what's going on. And we found out that Flaco's wife, Li Hai, wasn't murdered by April on the cruise ship. Now Abbott's on the radio with Flaco and April's still in the jungle with her hostage.

Judge Parker, 2014-05-13.

"Li Hai's in Acapulco?" says Flaco over the radio. "I don't believe you."
Beside him Katherine is bound and gagged.
"She was detained on the ship and placed in custody in the brig!" replies Abbott. "Travelling under a phony passport is illegal in Mexico, Flaco! I assure you, Li Hai is quite safe with my federale friends!"
Hidden in the jungle listening to both sides on her stolen radio, April smiles.



And J Jonah Jameson has had the most temporary change of heart imaginable. Mere moments after shaking hands with Spider-Man he's begun thinking of ways to spin the story to put Spidey in a bad light.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-13.

"What'll the public think when the Bugle's headline denounces Spider-Man —" asks Robbie, holding up the photo of Jonah and Spidey shaking hands, "— above this photo of you two shaking hands?"
"That J. Jonah Jameson's a big enough man to salute a foe —" says Jonah, gesticulating, "— before I expose him for the hypocritical fraud he is!"
"Spidey's a hypocritical fraud!?" thinks Peter.

I know Peter's thought is supposed to be "look who's talking" type of thing, but I like to imagine he's just reacting to Jonah's statement as though it's actually a shocking revelation. "Really, Spider-Man is a hypocritical fraud? But I'm Spider-Man! Does this mean I'm a fraud?"

2014-05-06

Action Tuesday: Trust and Friendship

Dick Tracy still hasn't followed up on the disappearance of Little Orphan Annie, but the story we're getting instead is starting to look interesting.

Dick Tracy, 2014-05-06.

"What's going on, chief?" asks Dick.
"Tracy, it's about that death at Kolossal studios." says Patton.
"Are the results back from forensics?"
"Maybe." says Patton, narrowing his eyes. "I don't know because the case was reassigned."
"Reassigned?" exclaims Dick, jumping to his feet. "But the studio is within city limits. That's in our jurisdiction!"
"The higher-ups gave it to Jeff Clark over at county, Tracy. It seems he gets all cases connected with Tabby Angus."

Police corruption! Are we about to see Dick Tracy gun down a corrupt officer? I hope so.



Meanwhile, Popeye has forgotten all about his shameful surname (which we never got to hear) and is now focused on the problem of the toolshed that seems to be locked but shouldn't be.

Popeye, 2014-05-06.

"I told ya it was locked!" says Swee'Pea. "I has ta git the spade!"
"The door mus' be jammed..." says Popey. "I'll have to smash it in!"
Suddenly Swee'Pea leaps into the air in amazement. The spade is leaning against the outside of the shed where moments before there had been nothing.



And shit is getting real in Judge Parker as April heads into the jungle to try to find the men who are attacking the... secret jungle hospital compound thing.

Judge Parker, 2014-05-02.

"Flaco, I have the compound in sight..." says a man wearing night-vision goggles. "The party is winding down!"
"Stay put..." replies Flaco over the radio. "I'm circling to the west!"
"Copy that! I see Abbott standing on the terrace!"
"Look for the girl! She knows what happened to Li Hai!"
Unnoticed, April sneaks up behind the man, knife in hand...

And after that Katherine got captured. Both sides now hold hostages.



And I thought the fun was over in Spider-Man, now that Jonah's lost the Iron Man armour, but I was so wrong! See, it turns out that the reason Jonah hated Spider-Man was simple envy, Spider-Man has the love of the people and Jonah hated him for it, but now Jonah realises that his enmity is misplaced. Spider-Man wasn't keen on reconciliation, but Robbie talked him around as well.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-06.

"Robbie's right." says Spidey, abashed. "You reached out your hand in friendship — — and I slapped it down."
"Really —" says Jonah, "I'm the one who should —"
"Jameson..." says Spider-Man. "Jonah... Put 'er there!"
He holds out his hand to shake. Jonah pauses and the world holds its breath...

2014-04-27

Weekend Workshop: Philosophical Sunday

I haven't done many edits recently, so I only one I have for you this weekend.

Based on The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-04-23.
But I forgot to post on Friday so I'll just use this as a catch-up day.



Blondie, 2014-04-25.
Wait, kindergarten? Elmo is only around four years old? I always assumed he was about ten. And even then, the fact that he's always hanging around in the Bumsteads' house was pretty weird, but if he's four then it's just bizarre.

Why is he always at the Bumsteads' anyway? We never see his parents, and he seems to just come and go as he pleases, so it's not like Dagwood is babysitting. He's just a four-year-old kid who comes around to spend time with his adult neighbour for no apparent reason.



Bleeker the Rechargeable Dog, 2014-04-23.
If you were going to have a robot lift operator, surely it would just be the lift. You wouldn't have a little robot dog actually pressing buttons. The buttons are there because humans have to use them.

And the idea that these robots have dreams and preferences reminds us again that they are sentient, intelligent beings, and Skip's family owns them. This is a comic about slaves. But it's kind of worse than regular slaves, because they've been specifically designed to accept their slavery, and even to have particular attributes that make them better workers. It's like slavery and eugenics. Also, they're consumer electronics, so when they get a bit out of date they just get thrown out. Refurb is already a second-hand bit of rubbish bought only as an amusing novelty.

It hasn't come up for a while now, but there are strips where Karl demonstrates his awareness of these disturbing facts, and Bleeker just brushes it off like it's nothing. But, and this may seem crazy, Karl is actually the sanest character in this comic. Except maybe Lila, she seems OK.

2014-04-22

Action Tuesday: To the rescue!

Alley Oop has made it past the ambush laid out for him and has found Ooola, who is now unconscious from the drugged food given to her by Tunk.

"There's Ooola!" says Alley to himself. "Uh-oh! And there's Tunk headin' her way!"
With his crude weapon in hand, Oop grabs a vine and prepares to swing into action.
"There's not a moment to waste!"

Alley Oop, 2014-04-21.

I've been reading this for a while now, and I'm still not sure what anyone's motivations are. I get Alley Oop, he's going to rescue Ooola. Everyone else though... why does Tunk want to kill Alley? Why did Ooola pretend to be happy to accept Tunk's hospitality when she clearly knew he was a bad guy? Is there some bigger plot going on here or is Tunk just like the sea hag from Popeye, doing evil because that's what he does, and everyone just accepts that?



The new era of Mark Trail is off to a pretty decent start, with Mark being attacked by a bear for no apparent reason. It was between him and his car so he decided to run away, but the bear chased him.

Mark Trail, 2014-04-22.

"There's no way I'll be able to outrun this beast!" thinks Mark, diving to the side.
He reaches for a heavy stick.
"Only one chance!" he thinks.

I've got to say, I'm not keen on a Mark Trail who can think without speaking, because having him narrate his every thought was hilarious, but I am somewhat placated by the promise of seeing him fight a bear over the course of the next week. And I've got to admit, the new art style is an improvement. So I'm not sold yet, but it's got my attention.



As The Amazing Spider-Man and the even more amazing Iron Jonah hurtle toward the stone arch in Washington Square Park, Spidey does everything in his power to try to slow them down and utterly fails to have any noticeable effect whatsoever. The Stark Industries technician who's been acting as Jonah's unwilling sidekick and Robbie Robertson both look on helplessly...

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-04-22.

Spidey and Jonah Jameson are about to crash into a stone arch...
"Wish I could say it's been nice knowin' you, Jameson," says Spider-Man, "but —"
Suddenly Iron Man appears, moving at great speed, and SLAMMs into Jonah, knocking him away from the arch.
"Gotcha!" he yells.

Well, I for one am very disappointed that Robbie isn't the one to save Jonah.

2014-04-16

Action Tuesday: Inappropriately Casual Reactions

A while back in Dick Tracy, before the Little Orphan Annie stuff I mentioned recently, some villains stole the space coupe, Diet Smith's spaceship, and were last seen flying off into space where they would presumably die when their oxygen ran out. Or possibly of dehydration, whichever comes first. These things happen when you're a criminal in Dick Tracy.

Dick Tracy, 2014-04-15.

Two shadowy figures sit in a dark room.
"Dick, when I learned what Dr. Ghote had done to re-create Mysta, I was horrified." says Diet Smith. "His research had to be stopped and the doors to the moon closed for good."
He cracks his knuckles and puffs on his cigar.
"So, I bought him out and decided to purge all our moon tech, including the space coupe. I lied to you about its fate in the storm."
"I know." says Tracy.
"I used the remote to send the coupe into deep space." says Smith. "After the storm, Dr. Ghote and Dr. Sail vanished. I think they may have been on board."
"It looks that way, Diet." says Tracy.

Dick Tracy showing his usual level of compassion there.



Mark Trail, 2014-04-10.

Lost Forest
"Marlin will be going to jail for a long time for poaching sea turtles that lived on the island!" says someone.

"I sure do feel sorry for poor Jessica!" says someone else.
"She'll be fine ... I spoke with her and she told me that she's going to continue her work with injured birds!" says Mark.

She'll be fine. Her husband turned out to have been committing crimes behind her back for years and has been sent to jail, but she's still got those injured birds. Mark Trail honestly cannot understand what she could possibly have to be upset about.

And this, it seems, is the last Mark Trail story by Jack Elrod. Starting on the 11th the dailies are credited to James Allen, whose name I just can't approve of. "Eddodd" and "Jackelrod" both work perfectly as single words, but what can you do with "James Allen"? Nothing. As to whether the comic will get better or worse, that remains to be seen.



And this week in Spider-Man, Iron Jonah lost control of his armour and started flying about erratically. Spider-Man is attempting to save him but there have been hints that he'll prove to be his usual incompetent self and it will end up being up to Robbie Robertson to save his former employer. It's one thing when Spidey is shown up by other super heroes, but for him to be shown up by a grey-haired newspaper editor will be even better.

2014-04-09

Action Tuesday: Traps, tackles and a true hero

You know who's awesome? Iron Jonah. It was pretty clear almost immediately that he was going to be a strong contender for best super hero ever, but no one could have predicted how strong a showing he'd make in his début appearance.

Jonah hid behind a cloud near some people in danger, hoping The Amazing Spider-Man would stop by. That sounds bad, but he was planning on saving them if no other super heroes showed up in time, so, you know, let's call that even. Fortunately Spider-Man did show up and Triple-J stood back and let him get on with it, until the moment everyone was safe. Then he charged Spidey, shot beams at him and eventually tackled him in mid-air.

At this point he was feeling pretty good with himself, until he realised that poor Spider-Man was actually unconscious and quite a long way up in the air.

The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-04-08.

"Brody fed this armor full power — and it's still operating —" says Iron Jonah as Spider-Man falls past him. "— So I've got to save Spider-Man if I can!"
"Jameson — No!" yells Brody in the control room, "To catch him you may exceed the speed of sound — — and that could prove fatal!"
"Whatever happens I've got to try!" insists Jonah, a true hero.



Speaking of tackling, Mark Trail finally got to the point in the story where the punches happen last week and surprisingly it was the bad guy who got the first hit in, but Mark Trail doesn't have enough sense to worry about a little thing like blunt force trauma to the head so he just carried on pretty much entirely unaffected. After realising that his punches were useless, Marlin attempted to flee...

Mark Trail, 2014-04-04.

"Marlin!?" thinks Jessica, apparently having difficulty recognising her own husband.
"Marlin, where are you going!?" she yells at him as he runs along the pier.
He stops and turns.
"Jessica?"
Everyone's having trouble identifying each other today.
Suddenly out of nowhere appears Mark Trail, moving at a full sprint. Marlin is taken completely by surprise (as well he might be) by Mark hurling himself through the air towards him and the two fall together into the water.

And then the police show up and they all go home for tea and cakes.



I've been reading Alley Oop for a while now to try to get into it and figure out what's going on, and here's the plot so far, as I understand it. Alley Oop's girlfriend, Ooola, got lost in Lem, the land where Alley Oop's enemies live. Tunk, the king of Lem, saw this as a great opportunity. The plan seems to be, drug Ooola to use her as bait, separate Oop from his dinosaur, then lay an ambush. So far it seems to be working.

Alley Oop, 2014-04-08.

Tunk and his chef spy to make sure Ooola eats the stew that has been drugged to make her sleep...
"Ah! It won't be long now!" thinks Tunk as Ooola eats a mouthful.

Meanwhile, Oop continues his search for Ooola in Lem...
"There's a clearin ahead!" says Alley Oop to no one. "Maybe I'm finally gettin' somewhere!"



And in Mandrake the Magician there's a man who claims to be an English police inspector but dresses as Sherlock Holmes and may actually be an assassin. So there's that.

2014-03-25

Action Tuesday: More comics about comics

When I last brought you up to speed on Dick Tracy, the Nitrates were leading the police on a high-speed chase, and since then things have progressed more-or-less predictably. The disastrous end was assured, but one small twist was that Sprocket actually drove into a lake on purpose as a form of self-destructive revenge against Silver, who apparently had been hitting her off-screen. Tracy and Sam were right behind and witnessed the car going into the lake.

"Tracy?" asks chief Patton over the wrist wizard. "What's happened to the Nitrates?"
"The drove into the lake, chief." replies Tracy. "The Flattop car broke through the ice and sank like a stone!"
"Is there a chance they survived?"
"We'll need divers and a recovery rig to reach them, chief, but I'd say no. No chance at all."

That said, we'd just seen the Nitrates still alive and talking in the car, so I won't believe it unless I see a body. If they do reappear though it probably won't be soon since the next we see Dick he's heading back to police headquarters to read some comics, specifically a satirical comic clearly based on him called J Straightedge Trustworthy. What is it with comic strip characters reading comics lately?

An interesting thing about this is that J Straightedge Trustworthy is clearly an homage to Fearless Fosdick, which Dick Tracy said was his favourite comic, which means that within the world of Dick Tracy there are actually now two separate comic strips making fun of him. He likes one, but we don't know how he feels about the other yet. Well, I think it's interesting.



Mark Trail, meanwhile, has discovered that Marlin is a poacher and has gone to look for some evidence, but while snooping around Marlin's workshop he was caught by Jessica.

"Jessica, I need to ask Marlin some questions about his business!" saus Mark, utterly failing to explain why he broke into the workshop.
"Maybe I can help you!" says Jessica, suspiciously.
"Jessica, did you knwo that Marlin is involved in poaching?" asks Mark. It's well-known that a criminal can't lie if you just ask them a straight question like that.
"What!?" demands Jessica indignantly. "That's ridiculous ... why would you say something like that?!"



And Peter Parker's vow to hang up the Spider-Man costume for a while lasted about as long as one might expect. He turned on the TV and saw some people in trouble. It's one of my favourite things about Spider-Man that he so often finds out about people in trouble only because of how much television he watches.

In this case he saw some construction workers hanging dangerously from a girder and felt that he couldn't rely on Iron Jonah (or any of the numerous other super heroes in New York) to save them so he had to get out there. Having managed to get both men to safety he was faced with the further problem of keeping the girder from crushing a bus that just drove under it for some reason.

"Spider-Man's swinging into that girder's path!" narrates an onlooker.
"What's he gonna do — try an' catch it?" asks a passing Canadian.
"No!" calls someone else. "He swung right under it — and now he's stuck his webbing to that sculpture!"
"What good'll that do??" asks a fourth bystander.

It's good to see the utter lack of faith the people of New York have in him.

2014-03-23

Weekend Workshop: Everyone gets the Arlo and Janis treatment

Based on Flo and Friends, 2014-03-17.
He's so pleased about it too.

Based on The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-03-18.
Being petty and childish is what Spider-Man is best at.

Based on Blondie, 2014-03-18.
Why did I make this? This is totally unnecessary.

Based on Hi and Lois, 2014-03-18.
This one on the other hand...

Based on Mary Worth, 2014-03-19.
It's a reference to Dustin.

Based on Garfield, 2014-03-20.
Every now and then I like to confirm that Garfield is still better if you remove his dialogue. It works every time.

2014-03-14

Philosophical Friday: Consistently Good Comics

I thought that today instead of talking about what's wrong with a particular comic I'd just point out a few that there's nothing wrong with, some comics that are pretty much good every day.



The Amazing Spider-Man

Stan Lee is a mad genius and his version of Spider-Man is lazy, selfish and incompetent and fights some of the most absurd villains, including a guy named Bigelow who did time and therefore started calling himself Big Time and became obsessed with clocks. Or a bad actor who decided to dress as a clown and commit crimes, and had a car that looked like a duck. It's ridiculous and dumb, but it's about a guy who got super-powers by being bitten by a radioactive spider and decided to dress in a weird costume and become a vigilante, so what do you expect?

The Creeps

A strong contender for "best comic", The Creeps uses clever wordplay and unexpected twists to great effect and also sometimes plays with the format to add to the joke.

Cul de Sac

One of the best comics about children, now unfortunately in reruns due to the author's poor health.

Ham Shears

Ham Shears is a pig who moved to the city to find his fortune. He works at Boss's Butcher Shop and lives with Jill and Ingrid. Everyone in this comic is just a little bit odd. Boss thinks that every woman is named Jill. Jill is frighteningly intense about picking apples. Ham Shears is delightfully earnest.

Heathcliff

The other comic about a fat orange cat. The one that's actually good. Not that Garfield doesn't have its points, but Heathcliff is clearly the superior product. Unlike Garfield, Heathcliff goes in more for surreal humour and the unexpected.

Heavenly Nostrils

A comic about a girl and a unicorn. A well-executed take on the child and talking pet formula.

One Big Happy

A comic about kids. Not an original premise but done well and consistently funny.

Pros & Cons

Witty banter between police, lawyers and various others. The art style is a little off-putting at first but it does grow on you. There's also a graphic novel.

Reply All

I think everyone has the same reaction when they see Reply All — this comic looks like garbage. And it does. Donna Lewis really, really can't draw and doesn't seem to even be making any attempt to improve. But the writing's pretty good. If she got someone else to draw it then there wouldn't even be any question about it, it would be a good comic.

Sally Forth

This comic about a pretty ordinary middle-class American family was exactly as unremarkable as it sounds until a few years ago when the writing was taken over by Francesco Marciuliano and the family started going slowly insane. Ted likes to imagine his life is a TV show and may or may not have once been an assassin and one of Hilary's friends can hear other people's thoughts, but the great thing about it is how the crazy stuff is kind of just in the background of this relatively ordinary story.

Wee Pals

Morrie Turner created this comic in 1965 and continued to produce it until his death earlier this year, and it stayed funny and relevant the entire time. Amazingly, Turner worked so far ahead that we're still seeing new content even now, and hopefully it'll go into reruns when those run out.

2014-03-11

Action Tuesday: Iron Jonah and Lena the hyena

Well, it happened, Iron Jonah smashed a tank while Peter Parker stood around watching. The Amazing Spider-Man is the best comic.

"Mr Jameson — is that your image on the robot's helmet?" asked Peter, incredulously.
"Nope! I'm really inside this thing!" answered Jonah, holding the two criminals up by their shirts and hovering a couple of meter in the air. "Quick, Parker — take a photo! This is front page news! Just imagine the headlines when Iron Man crushes Spider-Man!"
"Frankly, I'd rather not!" thinks Peter, obediently taking several pictures.

Today's strip reminds us that going faster than the speed of sound in the Iron Man suit is a bad idea, and Jameson dismisses the advice once again, so that should be good.



Dick Tracy had been a little dull lately, but the action's picked up now with Silver Nitrate and Sprocket leading the detectives on a high-speed chase across the country in their heavily modified car (a call-back to the classic Chester Gould Dick Tracy story featuring the son of legendary villain Flattop Jones). The car is outfitted with various gadgets, including weaponry. After ploughing through a police roadblock, the villains took shelter in a barn, where their hyena, Lena, escaped — yeah, they have a hyena too — so Silver went out to recapture her.

"Holy cow!" said Silver, grabbing Lena's leash. "So that's what was upsetting you, Lena! Sprocket! Get dressed, we gotta run!"
"But I'm not finished showering!" called Sprocket.
"Then it'll be a clean arrest." said Silver. "The cops are coming!"

So no one's been mauled to death yet, but this is Dick Tracy so it's almost guaranteed at some point.

2014-02-25

Action Tuesday: Iron Jonah

The Phantom's spent the last couple of months (well, not really, it just seems that long) showing off his collection of stolen treasures to a woman whose memory he's going to erase anyway, and I can't remember the last time anyone in Dick Tracy was suddenly and horrifically killed, but even if that weren't the case there's still only one comic that would have my attention today, and that's The Amazing Iron Jonah. I mean Spider-Man.

Oh my god, Iron Jonah. Not just the best super hero but the best thing.

So, J Jonah Jameson donated some money to Tony Stark's favourite charity, and in return Tony let him borrow an old Iron Man suit fitted up to be operated by remote control. JJJ wanted to use it to track down Spider-Man (because he's a menace!) but Spidey broke the remote control and got away.

But J Jonah Jameson doesn't give up that easily. With Tony out of town, there was no one to prevent triple-J steamrolling over the protests of Stark Industries employees and having the suit returned to its original condition. Pausing only to draw his trademark Hitler moustache on the face, Jonah suited up and took off to look for Spider-Man, and also smash a bunch of stuff.

This alone would be one of the greatest things ever to happen in The Amazing Spider-Man, but there are two more little details that are just the icing on the cake. The first is that Jonah misunderstood the safety instructions and is going to fly too fast, and the second is a tank. Actually I guess that's not such a little detail. Iron Jonah is going to fight a tank.


Up in the sky: J Jonah Jameson, in Iron Man's original armor...
"The minute I spot Spider-Man — he's toast!" roars Jonah as he hurtles through the sky at terrifying speeds.
On the ground: A tank  operated by two daring bank robbers...
"See, Spike?" says one bank robber as they plow through a bulding. "Nobody can stop this getaway 'car'!"


Meanwhile, Peter Parker is taking the day off to watch some TV.