If you haven't been keeping up with Funky Winkerbean lately, you've been missing out. Although it's normally one of King Features worse offerings, Tom Batiuk has really outdone himself this time, descending to almost Brooke McEldowneyan levels.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but a comic strip is no ordinary picture! It's worth a lot less.
Showing posts with label Tom Batiuk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tom Batiuk. Show all posts
2015-08-08
2014-09-22
Philosophical Phunday: Meaningless Coincidence
Back on the 2nd of September I noticed a weird coincidence in the comics pages. Three of the strips seemed to be thematically linked. First there's Garfield doing a pretty standard Garfield bit.
That Mirror-Garfield talking to Real-Garfield thing is a running joke. Then we have Crankshaft in which we see the old "someone sees something weird and then looks at their drink and says they're never drinking again" joke.
If you've never seen that one before you must have been raised in isolation with no access to television or movies. But then we have the final piece of the puzzle, that links these two strips together.
It's Curtis doing a combination of both those jokes (in a too young to drink way). Weird, right? That's all, I didn't really have a point, it's just something I noticed.
OK, this is the equivalent of a human being terrified of McDonald's because they eat mammals in there! Dodos are not chickens.
Sorry, Alley, I agree with this guy. Your teeth are perfectly straight, your hair is neatly trimmed, your body is strangely hairless. You look nothing like a caveman.
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| Garfield, 2014-09-02. |
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| Crankshaft, 2014-09-02. |
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| Curtis, 2014-09-02. |
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| Safe Havens, 2014-09-03. |
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| Alley Oop, 2014-09-18. |
2014-06-30
Melodrama Monday: Terrible people getting everything they want
Luann and her friends have graduated from highschool and presumably will be starting university soon. Well, except for Rosa and Gunther, because they're going to Peru for some reason. If it were just Rosa it would be easy to understand; I'd want to get as far away from everyone from Pitts highschool as possible too, but that theory's sunk by her decision to bring Gunther with her. Other than Luann herself there's no one I'd be more keen to escape from. No, I take that back. Gunther is the worst.
Luann, 2014-06-30.
"Mom?" says Gunther. "I've made a huge decision. I'm -"
"Going to Peru next week with Rosa" says Mrs Berger cheerfully.
"Yes!" says Gunther. "How-"
"I heard you and Quill talking last night"
"Oh, so what do you-"
"I think it's time fo you to become your own person, Gunthie"
"Would that include finishing my own sen -"
"Remember when you said, 'why do I need a passport?'" she asks, holding it out to him.
Well, I guess that goes some way to explaining why Gunther is like he is. You'd think his mother would be less keen on getting him out of the house/country though. Maybe she's decided she likes Quill better and is planning on taking him in as her new son and forgetting Gunther ever existed. Wouldn't that be nice, if Gunther went to Peru and disappeared from the comic forever and we could all forget he ever existed? Just a strip three weeks from now with Luann mentioning that she missed his funeral with a footnote "Gunther died in the Amazon".
Speaking of people I wish were dead, Les Moore's been in Hollywood this week because his fucking awful book is being turned into an even worse TV movie and as usual he's acting like all this undeserved success and money is just the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-25.
Les sits in the office of Clay Wallace at Cable Movie Entertainment. Beside him he hallucinates that cat that represents his self-hatred or whatever.
"You've wasted your time creating a beautiful work of art, and you have my sympathy for that." says Clay. "Let me explain something... the folks paying the bills are 'Cable Movie Entertainment... not 'Cable Movie Art'!"
The cat rolls on the floor laughing. Presumably at the idea that anything Les produces could be described as "a beautiful work of art".
Poor Les, he's just too good at writing. What an incredible burden. Sure, he got to write the book and the screenplay and make shitloads of money off both of them, but now it turns out that these Hollywood philistines want to make some minor changes to his perfect, wonderful story about his perfect, wonderful dead wife. Lisa was the lucky one; She just died of cancer, she didn't have to suffer the unimaginable tragedy of being a successful writer.
And do you remember the girl in Mary Worth who seemed to be suffering from some sort of mental illness and hallucinated some fairies? Well, it didn't end there.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-18.
Later that night...
A pale woman in a white robe, with white wings spread behind her, surrounded by a blazing halo of brilliant light appears beside Olives bed. Olive sits up and stares at the woman in rapturous wonder.
An angel gives Olive a message.
The message, it turns out, was to stay away from the swimming pool, which makes sense as Olive can't swim, although it's a bit low-key for a messenger of God. Her parents regard this as a dream and are keen to ship Olive off to spend the day with Mary so that they can spend the day with each other.
The big surprise though is Mary. Rather than the obvious explanations of dream, hallucination or just a child making shit up, Mary's take on the situation is that it was an actual, real angel. I had assumed that this story was going to be about how the parents were too busy and self-absorbed to see that their daughter was mentally ill and Mary was going to save the day by convincing them to take Olive to a psychiatrist, so this development has thrown me a bit.
Now I'm hoping that this marks the comic's transition into the world of the supernatural, that fairies and angels are just real now and are going to start showing up all the time.
Another surprising development, this time in Rex Morgan. Remember Mrs Pierpont, the rich old lady who wanted to meet Sarah? Well, she's decided she likes Sarah and to basically give her whatever she wants, of course. And since Kelly's there she gets free stuff too.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-06-29.
"Really, you have a chauffeur named Bugsy?" asks Kelly.
"Bugsy worked for my late husband when we were in the rackets..." says Mrs Pierpont. "... I mean the dry-cleaning business!"
Sarah is too young to have caught the slip and Kelly doesn't seem to have noticed either.
"What about Mrs. Lanning?" asks Sarah. "Isn't she part of our book team anymore?"
"Do you want her to be?" asks Mrs Pierpont.
"She's actually been very good to Sarah!" says Kelly. "And I think her job depends on this project!"
"Actually, her job depends on me and my million bucks!" says Mrs Pierpont. "What do you think, Sarah... should I give it to them?"
Sarah looks incredulous.
"You're asking me... a little kid?"
"You're a smart girl! Should I give the museum a million dollars?"
Having never been given any reason to doubt that she is, in fact, a child of unrivalled intelligence and wisdom, Sarah quickly accepts the idea of adults asking her for advice.
"Absolutely!" she says.
And so begins Sarah's first step into the world of organised crime...
Luann, 2014-06-30.
"Mom?" says Gunther. "I've made a huge decision. I'm -"
"Going to Peru next week with Rosa" says Mrs Berger cheerfully.
"Yes!" says Gunther. "How-"
"I heard you and Quill talking last night"
"Oh, so what do you-"
"I think it's time fo you to become your own person, Gunthie"
"Would that include finishing my own sen -"
"Remember when you said, 'why do I need a passport?'" she asks, holding it out to him.
Well, I guess that goes some way to explaining why Gunther is like he is. You'd think his mother would be less keen on getting him out of the house/country though. Maybe she's decided she likes Quill better and is planning on taking him in as her new son and forgetting Gunther ever existed. Wouldn't that be nice, if Gunther went to Peru and disappeared from the comic forever and we could all forget he ever existed? Just a strip three weeks from now with Luann mentioning that she missed his funeral with a footnote "Gunther died in the Amazon".
Speaking of people I wish were dead, Les Moore's been in Hollywood this week because his fucking awful book is being turned into an even worse TV movie and as usual he's acting like all this undeserved success and money is just the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-25.
Les sits in the office of Clay Wallace at Cable Movie Entertainment. Beside him he hallucinates that cat that represents his self-hatred or whatever.
"You've wasted your time creating a beautiful work of art, and you have my sympathy for that." says Clay. "Let me explain something... the folks paying the bills are 'Cable Movie Entertainment... not 'Cable Movie Art'!"
The cat rolls on the floor laughing. Presumably at the idea that anything Les produces could be described as "a beautiful work of art".
Poor Les, he's just too good at writing. What an incredible burden. Sure, he got to write the book and the screenplay and make shitloads of money off both of them, but now it turns out that these Hollywood philistines want to make some minor changes to his perfect, wonderful story about his perfect, wonderful dead wife. Lisa was the lucky one; She just died of cancer, she didn't have to suffer the unimaginable tragedy of being a successful writer.
And do you remember the girl in Mary Worth who seemed to be suffering from some sort of mental illness and hallucinated some fairies? Well, it didn't end there.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-18.
Later that night...
A pale woman in a white robe, with white wings spread behind her, surrounded by a blazing halo of brilliant light appears beside Olives bed. Olive sits up and stares at the woman in rapturous wonder.
An angel gives Olive a message.
The message, it turns out, was to stay away from the swimming pool, which makes sense as Olive can't swim, although it's a bit low-key for a messenger of God. Her parents regard this as a dream and are keen to ship Olive off to spend the day with Mary so that they can spend the day with each other.
The big surprise though is Mary. Rather than the obvious explanations of dream, hallucination or just a child making shit up, Mary's take on the situation is that it was an actual, real angel. I had assumed that this story was going to be about how the parents were too busy and self-absorbed to see that their daughter was mentally ill and Mary was going to save the day by convincing them to take Olive to a psychiatrist, so this development has thrown me a bit.
Now I'm hoping that this marks the comic's transition into the world of the supernatural, that fairies and angels are just real now and are going to start showing up all the time.
Another surprising development, this time in Rex Morgan. Remember Mrs Pierpont, the rich old lady who wanted to meet Sarah? Well, she's decided she likes Sarah and to basically give her whatever she wants, of course. And since Kelly's there she gets free stuff too.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-06-29.
"Really, you have a chauffeur named Bugsy?" asks Kelly.
"Bugsy worked for my late husband when we were in the rackets..." says Mrs Pierpont. "... I mean the dry-cleaning business!"
Sarah is too young to have caught the slip and Kelly doesn't seem to have noticed either.
"What about Mrs. Lanning?" asks Sarah. "Isn't she part of our book team anymore?"
"Do you want her to be?" asks Mrs Pierpont.
"She's actually been very good to Sarah!" says Kelly. "And I think her job depends on this project!"
"Actually, her job depends on me and my million bucks!" says Mrs Pierpont. "What do you think, Sarah... should I give it to them?"
Sarah looks incredulous.
"You're asking me... a little kid?"
"You're a smart girl! Should I give the museum a million dollars?"
Having never been given any reason to doubt that she is, in fact, a child of unrivalled intelligence and wisdom, Sarah quickly accepts the idea of adults asking her for advice.
"Absolutely!" she says.
And so begins Sarah's first step into the world of organised crime...
2014-06-16
Melodrama Monday: Bullies are people who hate themselves
This week, Mary Worth met Olive, a little girl who seems to suffer from vivid hallucinations. Mary took her on a tour of the garden and showed her the roses, and Olive saw fairies amongst the flowers.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-11.
"Do you see them? The flower fairies?" asks Olive.
"Sure..." ays Mary, stifling a giggle.
"Flower fairies!" she thinks. "What an imagination this girl has!"
I guess Mary doesn't have much experience with children, because if we, the audience, hadn't been clued in by the art that the girl was hallucinating, here wouldn't seem to be anything remarkable about what that girl said. Kids talk about make-believe stuff all the time.
Combined with the way the fairies are drawn, as though actually in the scene, Mary's ludicrous over-reaction to how incredibly imaginative Olive is leads me to conclude that Olive is actually mentally ill. If this turns into a boring story of a kid who feels neglected by her busy parents I'll be very disappointed.
And the big reveal in Luann, the culmination of Bernice's secret plan with Tiffany...
Bernice got a haircut, then hid it under a wig that looked exactly like her old hair so that she could dramatically remove the wig as part of her graduation speech. That's it. I'm not even going to write this one out, it's too dumb.
In Funky Winkerbean news, Wally and Rachel got married. In the only wedding I've ever seen that could be mistaken for a funeral. And eventually (because of the rain) the ceremony was carried out in Montoni's, because that is literally the only business operating in Westview other than the comic shop.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-14.
"Now, where were we...?" asks the officiant.
"I do!" says Rachel.
"I do too!" Wally replies.
"Done!" says the officiant, understandably eager to be done with this and go somewhere less awful.
"I hope they'll be happy." says Holly.
"I don't see why not..." says Funky, smirking. "They don't call Montoni's 'the wedding chapel of love' for nothing!"
They don't call it that, Funky. No one calls it that.
And in Rex Morgan, Sarah stood up to a bully who then immediately backed down, because that's what happens, right? I don't know how bullies even still exist since all you have to do is stand up to them once and you solve the problem forever.
Rex Morgan, MD, 2014-06-16.
Mrs. Pierpont request to meet Sarah after watching her handle the class bully!
"You handled that pugnacious reprobate quite adroitly, Sarah!" says Mrs Pierpont, presumably in a posh English accent.
"Uh...?" says Sarah.
"Nice job on the way you handled that class bully!" explains Mrs. Pierpont, because it's funny when posh people translate their fancy words into normal-person English.
"Thank you..." says Sarah, "that's what I thought you said."
Sarah actually had no idea, she just always assumes that people are complimenting her.
Safe Havens, 2014-06-16.
Dave and Samantha meet in an airport.
"Happy anniversary!" they yell as they run toward each other.
"Wait." says Dave. "Something's —"
"I know." says Samantha. "Palmtop has a new family, and grandma's ring is on tour with Bambi. For the first time..."
"We're alone!" they say together.
Dave is conspicuously still wearing his "Google Glass device" though, so presumably they're only alone if you don't count all the people watching online.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-11.
"Do you see them? The flower fairies?" asks Olive.
"Sure..." ays Mary, stifling a giggle.
"Flower fairies!" she thinks. "What an imagination this girl has!"
I guess Mary doesn't have much experience with children, because if we, the audience, hadn't been clued in by the art that the girl was hallucinating, here wouldn't seem to be anything remarkable about what that girl said. Kids talk about make-believe stuff all the time.
Combined with the way the fairies are drawn, as though actually in the scene, Mary's ludicrous over-reaction to how incredibly imaginative Olive is leads me to conclude that Olive is actually mentally ill. If this turns into a boring story of a kid who feels neglected by her busy parents I'll be very disappointed.
And the big reveal in Luann, the culmination of Bernice's secret plan with Tiffany...
Bernice got a haircut, then hid it under a wig that looked exactly like her old hair so that she could dramatically remove the wig as part of her graduation speech. That's it. I'm not even going to write this one out, it's too dumb.
In Funky Winkerbean news, Wally and Rachel got married. In the only wedding I've ever seen that could be mistaken for a funeral. And eventually (because of the rain) the ceremony was carried out in Montoni's, because that is literally the only business operating in Westview other than the comic shop.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-14.
"Now, where were we...?" asks the officiant.
"I do!" says Rachel.
"I do too!" Wally replies.
"Done!" says the officiant, understandably eager to be done with this and go somewhere less awful.
"I hope they'll be happy." says Holly.
"I don't see why not..." says Funky, smirking. "They don't call Montoni's 'the wedding chapel of love' for nothing!"
They don't call it that, Funky. No one calls it that.
And in Rex Morgan, Sarah stood up to a bully who then immediately backed down, because that's what happens, right? I don't know how bullies even still exist since all you have to do is stand up to them once and you solve the problem forever.
Rex Morgan, MD, 2014-06-16.
Mrs. Pierpont request to meet Sarah after watching her handle the class bully!
"You handled that pugnacious reprobate quite adroitly, Sarah!" says Mrs Pierpont, presumably in a posh English accent.
"Uh...?" says Sarah.
"Nice job on the way you handled that class bully!" explains Mrs. Pierpont, because it's funny when posh people translate their fancy words into normal-person English.
"Thank you..." says Sarah, "that's what I thought you said."
Sarah actually had no idea, she just always assumes that people are complimenting her.
Safe Havens, 2014-06-16.
Dave and Samantha meet in an airport.
"Happy anniversary!" they yell as they run toward each other.
"Wait." says Dave. "Something's —"
"I know." says Samantha. "Palmtop has a new family, and grandma's ring is on tour with Bambi. For the first time..."
"We're alone!" they say together.
Dave is conspicuously still wearing his "Google Glass device" though, so presumably they're only alone if you don't count all the people watching online.
2014-03-24
Melodrama Monday: Comics About Comics
Mary Worth has left us on a cliffhanger today — did Tommy fall back into old habits; is he currently sleeping off a hangover (or worse), or is he just tired? This could be interesting, but right now we just have to wait.
So instead let's talk about the Batiukiverse (a term I just came up with to describe the world of Funky Winkerbean, Crankshaft and John Darling). Did you know that Tom Batiuk likes comic books? He's often done comic book and super hero parodies and the comic shop is one of the key locations in Funky Winkerbean, but it seems like he's now turning both his current comics into stories of people buying and reading comic books.
For a while now, Holly in Funky Winkerbean has been attempting to help her son Cory complete his comic book collection while he's serving overseas in the military, but now Jeff in Crankshaft has spent the last week looking through his old comic book collection in the attic and has just decided to try to find one he's missing on eBay.
So that's what Batiuk's comics are about now. People finding, buying and reading old comic books. It's just that from here on out.
"Hey, donna." says Holly, smirking.
"Hi, Holly..." says Donna with a smirk. "I'm just waiting for Crazy to get off work upstairs at the Komix Korner. Speaking of which, Crazy told me all about the comic book quest you're on for Cory."
"Yeah..." says Holly, "I suppose it's my way of getting in touch with my 'Y' chromosome."
The two exchange knowing smirks.
"I could never find the issue of 'Action Comics' that contained the second part of the 'Congorilla' story in this comic book." says Jeff sadly, to no one. "I've spent my whole life wondering how it ended, and then it hit me... eBay!"
He smiles as he sits down at his computer, unaware as yet that the chances off finding a specific, obscure issue of an old comic book for sale at a reasonable price are practically non-existent.
So instead let's talk about the Batiukiverse (a term I just came up with to describe the world of Funky Winkerbean, Crankshaft and John Darling). Did you know that Tom Batiuk likes comic books? He's often done comic book and super hero parodies and the comic shop is one of the key locations in Funky Winkerbean, but it seems like he's now turning both his current comics into stories of people buying and reading comic books.
For a while now, Holly in Funky Winkerbean has been attempting to help her son Cory complete his comic book collection while he's serving overseas in the military, but now Jeff in Crankshaft has spent the last week looking through his old comic book collection in the attic and has just decided to try to find one he's missing on eBay.
So that's what Batiuk's comics are about now. People finding, buying and reading old comic books. It's just that from here on out.
"Hey, donna." says Holly, smirking.
"Hi, Holly..." says Donna with a smirk. "I'm just waiting for Crazy to get off work upstairs at the Komix Korner. Speaking of which, Crazy told me all about the comic book quest you're on for Cory."
"Yeah..." says Holly, "I suppose it's my way of getting in touch with my 'Y' chromosome."
The two exchange knowing smirks.
"I could never find the issue of 'Action Comics' that contained the second part of the 'Congorilla' story in this comic book." says Jeff sadly, to no one. "I've spent my whole life wondering how it ended, and then it hit me... eBay!"
He smiles as he sits down at his computer, unaware as yet that the chances off finding a specific, obscure issue of an old comic book for sale at a reasonable price are practically non-existent.
2013-05-29
Explaining Crankshaft
In a sepia tone (indicating a flashback) we see a teenage Ed Crankshaft dozing contentedly. Suddenly he clenches his his and opens his eyes.
"I just remembered I have a test today." he says, angrily.
In the present, Ed sits at the kitchen table, staring grumpily at the cup of coffee before him.
"Are you doing okay?" asks Pam.
"I'm fine..." says Ed. "I just don't like tests."
See, it's funny because Crankshaft is slowly succumbing to age-related dementia, losing track of what's happening, where he is, what year it is, etc. His mind, the thing that makes him the person he is, is gradually disintegrating, leaving him confused and angry and his family helpless and distraught. Comedy.
Comic
"I just remembered I have a test today." he says, angrily.
In the present, Ed sits at the kitchen table, staring grumpily at the cup of coffee before him.
"Are you doing okay?" asks Pam.
"I'm fine..." says Ed. "I just don't like tests."
See, it's funny because Crankshaft is slowly succumbing to age-related dementia, losing track of what's happening, where he is, what year it is, etc. His mind, the thing that makes him the person he is, is gradually disintegrating, leaving him confused and angry and his family helpless and distraught. Comedy.
Comic
2013-05-06
Pondering Baby Blues and Between Friends
| Between Friends, 2013-05-01. |
| Baby Blues, 2013-05-01. |
Between Friends is particularly bad for this as the main characters actually seem to revel in this attitude, resenting younger women for not feeling bad about how they look but taking pleasure in the idea that those women will eventually reach the point where they too suffer from constant guilt and shame about their appearance.
It's not quite as grim as Tom Batiuk's comics where the message is pretty consistently that awful things will happen to you, all happiness is fleeting and life is merely an agonising journey to the grave, but it's in that same direction.
What are we supposed to be laughing at here? I could understand if the joke were "Hey, look at these unreasonable expectations society pushes on women, aren't they ridiculous?" but it seems more like the opposite of that, like we're not supposed to find such expectations ridiculous, the joke is actually at the expense of the comics' main characters. Or that those young people making them feel bad are right, but don't worry, they'll get theirs when they get old and fat and ugly, then we'll see who has the last laugh.
It's no one, no one laughs, because this is terrible.
2013-05-02
Pondering Crankshaft
"What's not good?" asks the nurse for no reason other than to set up the punch line, such as it is. But it makes no sense. He's talking about his blood pressure, obviously. You're a healthcare professional performing a test and the patient is asking you about the results, this isn't difficult to figure out.
2012-10-25
Crankshaft
Ed gets into his car and prepares to drive. Checking the mirrors, he spots something unusual, and leans over for a closer look. His confusion gives way to fear as he reads the message engraved on the driver's-side mirror: "The end may be closer than it appears."
Comic
Comic
2012-10-13
Crankshaft
"And so entropy and the arrow of time..." says an angry man on television, "will eventually cause the death of all the stars."
"Great!" says Crankshaft angrily. "More bad news."
Comic
"Great!" says Crankshaft angrily. "More bad news."
Comic
2012-10-01
Crankshaft
Ed walks into his garage, takes the leaf-blower, walks out into the middle of the newly-mowed and immaculate lawn and starts it up.
A torrent of yellow leaves fly from the leaf-blower, scattering across the lawn.
Comic
A torrent of yellow leaves fly from the leaf-blower, scattering across the lawn.
Comic
2012-09-19
Crankshaft
Jeff and Pam are standing in a pitch black void looking through the contents of some cardboard boxes.
"Just look at all the boxes of stuff that Max has stored up here." says Pam, dejectedly. "CDs... DVDs... floppy DVDs..."
Jeff looks concerned, but says nothing.
Comic
"Just look at all the boxes of stuff that Max has stored up here." says Pam, dejectedly. "CDs... DVDs... floppy DVDs..."
Jeff looks concerned, but says nothing.
Comic
2012-09-10
Crankshaft
"Let me tell you how I want the grass cut." says the grumpy old man to the surly teen.
"I just push this back and forth until it's all short, right?" asks the boy, pointing to the lawnmower.
"Sit!" orders the man, patting the seat beside him. "This may take a while."
Comic
"I just push this back and forth until it's all short, right?" asks the boy, pointing to the lawnmower.
"Sit!" orders the man, patting the seat beside him. "This may take a while."
Comic
2012-07-11
Crankshaft
"How did you sleep last night, dad?" asks Pam.
"I went out like a log" says Crankshaft as he leaves the room.
"Good." says Pam with a smile.
"What am I missing?" asks Rose. Pam just smiles at her.
Comic
"I went out like a log" says Crankshaft as he leaves the room.
"Good." says Pam with a smile.
"What am I missing?" asks Rose. Pam just smiles at her.
Comic
2012-07-09
Crankshaft
"Incredible..." says Jeff. "Another politician was caught sending a lewd photo to a female member of his campaign staff."
"The technology may be new..." says Crankshaft, "but that sort of thing has been going on since time immoral."
Jeff seems unsure how to respond to this statement.
Comic
"The technology may be new..." says Crankshaft, "but that sort of thing has been going on since time immoral."
Jeff seems unsure how to respond to this statement.
Comic
2012-06-12
2012-05-30
Crankshaft
The family are having a barbecue to celebrate Memorial Day and are sitting around a table outside.
"I can't believe we're actually celebrating a Memorial Day without the fire department being here." says Pam, wonderingly.
"Maybe someone should go over and tell the Lamberts they can get out of their bunker." replies Jeff, worriedly.
Crankshaft glares daggers at them while Mindy and Rose continue to enjoy their lunch in oblivious silence.
Comic
"I can't believe we're actually celebrating a Memorial Day without the fire department being here." says Pam, wonderingly.
"Maybe someone should go over and tell the Lamberts they can get out of their bunker." replies Jeff, worriedly.
Crankshaft glares daggers at them while Mindy and Rose continue to enjoy their lunch in oblivious silence.
Comic
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