Philosophical Friday: Lazy and Dumb

Bewley, 2014-08-18.

Man, what a wasted opportunity. You had the punchline right there in panel two, all you needed to do was stop. You could have made the panels larger and included more detail in the illustration (rather than just flood filling with brown). I know, that's more effort than coming up with a second, less funny joke to fill up that space, but it would have been so much better.

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Between Friends, 2014-09-19.

Let me just quote the character description for Kim here: "Kim is creative and introspective. As a feminist, freelance writer, she enjoys the perks of flexible career." I see three grown adults here, and it doesn't occur to any of them that maybe one of the men could cook? Feminist.

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Todd the Dinosaur, 2014-08-22.

Forget the joke here (such as it is - T-Rexes have short arms. Ha ha, bet no one's done that joke before) and focus on the first panel. Specifically the narration box. I know that the people who colour comic strips are terrible at their jobs, but come on.

Philosophical Friday: Ugliness

WuMo, 2014-06-11.

God, this comic is hideous. Not in a Reply All kind of way where it's just pure ineptitude, this looks like it's meant to be ugly. And I mean every single WuMo strip. Reply All can get away with looking like arse because it's actually funny, but the example above is as close as WuMo ever gets.

And it is close, it's almost good enough to be one of the less funny F-Minus strips. Of course, in F-Minus there wouldn't be a caption telling you it was a blood bank, that would be conveyed through, I don't know, putting the Red Cross logo on there or something. I'm pretty sure Tony Carrillo could draw a recognisable mosquito too, so the entire label would be unnecessary. And the manager would have one of those F-Minus grumpy faces. That's how you do this joke.

Even then though, WuMo would still be hideous.

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Todd the Dinosaur, 2014-06-12.

How is that even an easier shot? And does every cartoonist play golf?

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Finally, here's a selection of Office Hours panels, a comic from the 1960s.

Office Hours, 1966-03-26.

Office Hours, 1966-01-14.

Office Hours, 1966-03-14.

Office Hours, 1966-02-05.

The past was terrible.

Sitcom Thursday: Political Correctness Gone Mad!

Todd the Dinosaur, 2014-04-30.

"Well, these are the last comic books I'll ever buy!" says Todd. "This political correctness stuff has just run amok!"
"Let me see" asks Trent. "'Bat Person'?"
"Yeah," says Todd, "it was on the rack right next to this one"
"'Very Helpful Person'?" reads Trent.
"Yep. They thought 'Superman' would hurt regular people's self-esteem"

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God, where to even start with this bullshit. First, I guess, with the fact that this is just fucking dumb as shit. This goes so far beyond straw-manning that surely even the "political correctness gone mad" people must think this is dumb.

Secondly, why is Trent reading out the names of the comics? This is a comic strip, a visual medium, you could just show the covers. You could even fit some additional jokes in on those covers — although I suppose that having additional jokes would require there to be some jokes to begin with.

Thirdly, it's not like the premise of a more PC Batman (or Superman) doesn't have potential. You could do something with Batman not beating up criminals because they're actually mentally ill people who should be treated with care and compassion, but Patrick Roberts hasn't even thought about it enough to get that far.

Also, the idea that super-hero comics are being written and drawn by social justice warriors is laughably absurd to anyone who's seen them. You could probably get a joke out of that, too, but it would also require more effort than Roberts is willing to put into his incredibly easy job that he gets paid real money to do.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2014-04-30.

"I ain't spyin'," says Roy, holding a pair of binoculars, "I'm keepin' us safe !!"
"Shore ya are, Roy !!" says Snuffy. "From all th' purty gals that go by !!"
Roy grins sheepishly.

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You can't even look at pretty girls without being accused of something these days, it's political correctness gone mad!

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Beetle Bailey, 2014-04-29.

"Sarge, you really annoy me!!" yells Lt. Fuzz. "You're a ☼ a ♯♯! A ȸȹȸ! And a ⇜!!"
He takes a breath and smiles warmly. "How's that?
"A little better, sir. I felt a slight twinge of anger" says Sgt. Snorkel. "But keep practicing, sir"

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Can't even use real swearwords! Political correctness gone mad!

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Baby Blues, 2014-04-30.

"No! No! You keep hitting the rim!" yells Wanda. "Try to get a little more arc on it. Good shot!"
"Is mom playing basketball with Hammie?" asks Darryl.
"No, it's just bathroom practice." says Zoe.

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No, you're not misinterpreting that, it's a comic about pissing on the floor. Political correctness gone mad? Something's gone mad, of that I'm sure.

Philosophical Friday: Leave Mimes Alone

Brewster Rockit: Space Guy! 2014-03-25.

Todd the Dinosaur, 2014-03-28.

Why are mimes consistently portrayed in comics as being really annoying? Is anyone actually bothered by mimes? Are mimes even common enough for people to have much of an opinion on them at all? Seems like a really weird target to pick. Is this some historical thing that has just become comedy shorthand even though it no longer makes sense, like slipping on banana skins? What did mimes ever do to deserve this?

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Hägar the Horrible, 2014-03-27.

Seeing that Hamlet's girlfriend's name here got me thinking about the names of comic strip characters and how weird they are. "Hernia" is certainly up there, but it's not as atypical as you might imagine. On The Fastrack has "Fistula Breech", there's Blondie's "Dagwood Bumstead", B.C.'s "Cute Chick" and "Fat Broad". One of the kids in Baby Blues goes by "Hammie".  Hi and Lois called their twins "Dot" and "Ditto", and there's Lois's brother Beetle Bailey.

I don't know where I'm going with this, it's just something that struck me.

Golf jokes and hamster gangs

A police officer and a woman watch as Heathcliff, encased in a hamster ball, chases a number of smaller hamster balls down the street, each of which contains a hamster.
"He's going after that hamster gang." says the police officer.

Heathcliff, 2013-11-19.

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Todd the Dinosaur, 2013-11-19.

So, Trent answered the door, met Al Gore, found out that Gore was there to see Todd, and then just shut the door in his face and went to tell Todd about it? Rude.

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Henry visits a driving range where they are offering a deal where you can hit a bucket of golf balls for 50 cents. He approaches the staff member at the counter and pays for a bucket. Taking his place at the range, he places the bucket before himself and strikes it with a golf club. You see, he hit the bucket rather than taking the balls out and hitting them individually, following the directions literally rather than doing what was expected.

Henry, 2013-11-19.

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Sgt. Snorkel has a sign up beside his desk which simply reads "THINK". Beetle paints over the K, and before the sergeant can react he turns and leaves, pausing only to remark "Now you've got something to think about".

Beetle Bailey, 2013-11-19.

Todd the Dinosaur

Todd, Susie and Trent are watching television together. Susie has the remote and is flicking through the channels.
"Nothin' good on 56..." she says, "nothin' good on 57..."
"Susie, wait!" yells Todd. "Don't go to channel 58!"
Susie fails to heed this warning.
BROOMP!
"Sorry, Susie," says Todd, "I tried to tell ya. Chicks gain weight just lookin' at the all-cheesecake channel!"
"Dangit!" says Susie, who is now fat.

Comic

Todd the Dinosaur

Todd and Trent leave a seafood market. Trent is carrying a bag, presumably containing seafood.

Later...

"By the way, Todd," says Trent as Todd stands by the microwave waiting for his food to heat up, "whatever you do, don't ever..."

There is an Earth-shattering "ka-boom".

"...microwave fresh eels" says Trent. The microwave has been mostly destroyed, there is a large hole in the wall, Trent's clothes are damaged and he's covered in soot. Todd is also covered in soot, and somewhat stunned.

Comic