Apartment 3-G this week has been nearly incomprehensible. The combination of Frank Bolle's refusal to draw anything but people standing around talking (and only from the shoulders up) with dialogue that more closely resembles random sentences than an actual conversation has made it difficult, but I've mostly managed to piece together what's happening.
It turns out that Jack's wife died several years ago and Carol, his current girlfriend, was her best friend. This sounds like there might be some sort of murder conspiracy going on, but that's way too exciting for Apartment 3-G. Does this look like Judge Parker? No, Judge Parker is drawn competently.
Also Tommie is still around. And so is Lily the deer, who is now apparently "friends" with Mary the mare. Although the only evidence we've seen of this friendship so far is Carol saying so.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-06-09.
In the wee hours of the morning...
"Jack, what are you doing out here and why are you up at five A.M.?" asks Carol.
"Joey and I are taking a trip." says Jack.
"What are you talking about?!" asks Carol.
"You should go back to bed, Carol." says Jack.
Who is Joey? Has Joey been mentioned before and I just forgot? Also, the art in this strip reminds me of that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the guy somehow drains Counsellor Troi's youth, because Jack is looking younger than normal and Carol appears to now be about 80.
Luann, 2014-06-05.
"How awesome that you're valedictorian!" says Luann, to Bernice.
"No surprise, though" says Delta.
"I dunno," says Bernice, "you're right up there, Delta. Gunther, too. And Rosa"
"Want us to help you with your grad speech?" asks Delta.
"Nope. I'm gonna get help from Tiffany"
"Tiffany?!" screeches Luann, the only member of her friendship group who still holds this pathetic grudge. She is ignored.
"What, you're doing a cheer routine?" asks Delta.
"It's a secret" says Bernice.
There are about ten students in this graduating class, and apparently four of them were in the running for valedictorian. And notably, Luann was not one of them. I'm really looking forward to this graduation, to see if they actually go ahead with the "Luann is a lazy dumbass who is barely tolerated by her friends" thing they've been building up lately. I'd love to see Delta, Bernice, Tiffany, Rosa and Quill all do well and go off and be successful leaving Luann, Gunther and Knute behind forever. In my ideal version of events, the comic follows Tiffany from that point on, but seeing Luann's inevitable failures would be fine too.
Sally Forth has been focusing on Hilary and her friends this week, and their newly re-formed band. Turns out Hilary's kind of an arsehole.
Sally Forth, 2014-06-04.
"Despite what you may think, Hil," says Faye, "you're not the only one who's been writing songs for this band."
Hilary takes a look at the sheaf of papers.
"Wow, Faye, these are really heartfelt... revealing... personal... all the better to save for your solo album instead."
"I'm gonna kill her." Says Faye to Nona.
"Just channel that rage back into your songwriting." suggests Nona.
But then Nona reminded Hilary that they have to study and don't really have time for this anyway, a fact that Hilary had completely forgotten.
Showing posts with label Margaret Shulock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Margaret Shulock. Show all posts
2014-04-07
Melodrama Monday: Lazy Idiots and Lunacy
Let me tell you about Safe Havens. The protagonist is Samantha, a geneticist. Only when I say "geneticist" I actually mean "wizard". See, she can turn herself and her friends into different animals. She has two dodos that were cloned or something and they sometimes turn into humans for funsies. Her cat sometimes turns into a human as well.
As well as being a geneticist, Samantha is also a RA at the university, and one justification for turning the cat into a human was so that the cat could enrol in classes and eventually take over for her as RA. Can't see any problems with that plan. But then the cat unexpectedly turned back into a cat. This was a while ago. Now it turns out that the merfolk — did I mention the merfolk? One of Sam's friends, Remora, is a mermaid — the merfolk were responsible for the cat being returned to its natural state.
Safe Havens, 2014-04-07.
"Samantha?" says Remora. "The merfolk sent a message that complains of your experiments with our DNA... and that by using it to extend Palmtop's lifespan you 'violated intellectual property rights.'"
"Fine." says Samantha, crossing her arms. "I won't do it again."
The two observe a cloud of bubbles rising from the toilet.
"What now?" demands Samantha.
"They've already reverted her to her 'default setting.'" says Remora with alarm.
"And that's why she changed back into a cat???" screams Samantha.
Continued!
Did I mention that the cat, Palmtop, is actually the clone of a dog named Laptop who is now permanently a human and is married to a normal guy? Or that Remora's husband and son travel everywhere by trapeze, which is never shown to be attached to anything? Or the magic ring Samantha has that lets use mirrors to talk to her dead grandmother?
But you know what the most astounding thing is? This isn't Bill Holbrook's weirdest comic. He writes three daily strips and this one's about half way between the other two. You're not ready for Kevin & Kell. No one is.
So, you remember how Tommie had that baby deer living with them in Apartment 3-G? Well, when I last caught you up she had just decided to drive off to see this vet, Jack Riley, whom she assumed would be willing to help her. Well, she might end up being disappointed but I'm not.
After demanding that Tommie move her car, call him Jack, and help shoe a colt they finally got around to the reason she was there.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-05.
"Don't tell me you're one of those idiot animal lovers who try to save everything ?!" asks Jack, pointing at Tommie's face.
"My little fawn isn't a 'thing,' Jack!" says Tommie indignantly. "Her mother was dead in the road — what could I do?"
"That's easy Tommie —" says Jack resignedly. "Walk away!"
It's about time someone called her out on how dumb it was to keep this deer in the flat.
To the other Tommy now, in Mary Worth. Fresh out of jail and back in Santa Royale, Tommy has been looking for a job for at least two days now.
Mary Worth, 2014-04-07.
As Iris and Wilbur finish their lunch...
"Might as well just say it..." thinks Wilbur. And surprisingly it's not about sandwiches.
"Iris..." he says, "be careful. Don't let Tommy take advantage of you."
"What?" demands Iris, angrily.
"You give him money out of pocket..." says Wilbur. "You both live off your savings... and he hasn't found a job yet! This can easily go on forever if you let it!"
Well, Wilbur's right. If Tommy's not employed by the end of the week then he's obviously not trying and should be kicked out to fend for himself. I'm sure he wouldn't be tempted to return to crime and drugs then!
As well as being a geneticist, Samantha is also a RA at the university, and one justification for turning the cat into a human was so that the cat could enrol in classes and eventually take over for her as RA. Can't see any problems with that plan. But then the cat unexpectedly turned back into a cat. This was a while ago. Now it turns out that the merfolk — did I mention the merfolk? One of Sam's friends, Remora, is a mermaid — the merfolk were responsible for the cat being returned to its natural state.
Safe Havens, 2014-04-07.
"Samantha?" says Remora. "The merfolk sent a message that complains of your experiments with our DNA... and that by using it to extend Palmtop's lifespan you 'violated intellectual property rights.'"
"Fine." says Samantha, crossing her arms. "I won't do it again."
The two observe a cloud of bubbles rising from the toilet.
"What now?" demands Samantha.
"They've already reverted her to her 'default setting.'" says Remora with alarm.
"And that's why she changed back into a cat???" screams Samantha.
Continued!
Did I mention that the cat, Palmtop, is actually the clone of a dog named Laptop who is now permanently a human and is married to a normal guy? Or that Remora's husband and son travel everywhere by trapeze, which is never shown to be attached to anything? Or the magic ring Samantha has that lets use mirrors to talk to her dead grandmother?
But you know what the most astounding thing is? This isn't Bill Holbrook's weirdest comic. He writes three daily strips and this one's about half way between the other two. You're not ready for Kevin & Kell. No one is.
So, you remember how Tommie had that baby deer living with them in Apartment 3-G? Well, when I last caught you up she had just decided to drive off to see this vet, Jack Riley, whom she assumed would be willing to help her. Well, she might end up being disappointed but I'm not.
After demanding that Tommie move her car, call him Jack, and help shoe a colt they finally got around to the reason she was there.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-05.
"Don't tell me you're one of those idiot animal lovers who try to save everything ?!" asks Jack, pointing at Tommie's face.
"My little fawn isn't a 'thing,' Jack!" says Tommie indignantly. "Her mother was dead in the road — what could I do?"
"That's easy Tommie —" says Jack resignedly. "Walk away!"
It's about time someone called her out on how dumb it was to keep this deer in the flat.
To the other Tommy now, in Mary Worth. Fresh out of jail and back in Santa Royale, Tommy has been looking for a job for at least two days now.
Mary Worth, 2014-04-07.
As Iris and Wilbur finish their lunch...
"Might as well just say it..." thinks Wilbur. And surprisingly it's not about sandwiches.
"Iris..." he says, "be careful. Don't let Tommy take advantage of you."
"What?" demands Iris, angrily.
"You give him money out of pocket..." says Wilbur. "You both live off your savings... and he hasn't found a job yet! This can easily go on forever if you let it!"
Well, Wilbur's right. If Tommy's not employed by the end of the week then he's obviously not trying and should be kicked out to fend for himself. I'm sure he wouldn't be tempted to return to crime and drugs then!
2013-08-22
Pondering Apartment 3-G
It's an unfortunate fact that thanks to Frank Bolle's refusal to put any effort into the Apartment 3-G drawings, a lot of the characters end up looking really similar, so when I saw this strip:
I was momentarily confused. Didn't this all happen before? But no, it turns out that was a completely different situation. We're not seeing Scott and Margo here, that was last year, this is Zoey and Peter. You can tell by how the hair and clothes are slightly different.
See? I don't even know how I got mixed up.
 |
| Apartment 3-G, 2013-08-14. |
 |
| Apartment 3-G, 2012-04-23. |
2013-08-18
Pondering Apartment 3-G
 |
| Apartment 3-G, 2013-08-12. |
2013-07-21
Highlighting Snuffy Smith
 |
| Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2013-07-16. |
2013-07-11
Pondering Apartment 3-G
 |
| Apartment 3-G, 2013-07-08. |
2013-06-27
2013-06-26
Pondering Snuffy Smith
 |
| Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2013-06-12. |
2013-06-22
Pondering Apartment 3-G
 |
| Apartment 3-G, 2013-06-05. |
And not just that, look how they're holding them. Has Frank Bolle ever seen a mobile phone before? Or any sort of phone? Or a human being holding something in their hand?
Marty doesn't even maintain a consistent grip — she seems to be holding the phone sideways in panel one, then in panel two (three?) she's turned it round and is holding it by the bottom end.
Lu Ann's grip starts out incredibly tenuous — try holding a phone like that without it slipping out of your hand, it's really awkward — but then by the end she manages to get it into a better position. It's not clear how she's actually going to close it like that, but at least she won't drop it.
And what is clicking? Mobile phones don't click when you hang up, and she clearly hasn't shut it yet.
How is Frank Bolle still working? It surely can't be cheaper to keep him on than get some no-name artist who isn't pushing 90. And then Shulock might even stop phoning it in and actually try to make something worthwhile of this comic.
2013-06-20
Apartment 3-G
Later, at Lu Ann's building...
"There you are, Lu Ann." says Peter. "I've been waiting."
"Peter!" says Lu Ann, blankly. "What are you doing here?"
"We need to have a talk." says Peter, grinning.
"A talk?" asks Lu Ann, going cross-eyed. "About what?"
Comic
"There you are, Lu Ann." says Peter. "I've been waiting."
"Peter!" says Lu Ann, blankly. "What are you doing here?"
"We need to have a talk." says Peter, grinning.
"A talk?" asks Lu Ann, going cross-eyed. "About what?"
Comic
2013-06-13
Apartment 3-G
"What are you doing, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"Reviewing the publicity for the Bond film, Lu Ann." says Margo.
"Whoa — is that Greg?!" asks Lu Ann. "Has something happened between you and Greg, Margo?"
"I can't afford to be in love with Greg Cooper." says Margo. "He's a movie star, Lu Ann. That's his job."
"But he loves you, Margo!" says Lu Ann.
"I need to get back to work." says Margo.
Comic
"Reviewing the publicity for the Bond film, Lu Ann." says Margo.
"Whoa — is that Greg?!" asks Lu Ann. "Has something happened between you and Greg, Margo?"
"I can't afford to be in love with Greg Cooper." says Margo. "He's a movie star, Lu Ann. That's his job."
"But he loves you, Margo!" says Lu Ann.
"I need to get back to work." says Margo.
Comic
2013-06-04
Apartment 3-G
"Greg looks amazing, Margo!" says Lu Ann, pointing inexplicably at Margo's face.
"That's his job, Lu Ann." says Margo in exasperation. "He's a movie star."
Maybe it's none of my business," says Lu Ann with concern, "but did something happen between you and Greg?"
"You're right." says Margo angrily. "It's none of your business."
Comic
"That's his job, Lu Ann." says Margo in exasperation. "He's a movie star."
Maybe it's none of my business," says Lu Ann with concern, "but did something happen between you and Greg?"
"You're right." says Margo angrily. "It's none of your business."
Comic
2013-03-16
Six Chix
A one-armed woman is in bed with a one-armed man. Each of them is holding a Space Monolith action figure.
"Don't get me wrong;" says the woman, "I think it's great, I just miss my bookmarks."
Comic
"Don't get me wrong;" says the woman, "I think it's great, I just miss my bookmarks."
Comic
2013-01-21
2013-01-20
2013-01-19
2012-12-23
Improving Apartment 3-G
2012-11-21
2012-11-18
Apartment 3-G
Later, as Margo trudges up the stairs...
"Hey Margo -" calls Greg Cooper, "long day?"
"Yes... no... whatever." says Margo happily.
"What's wrong, Margo?" asks Greg. "You look heartbroken. Where's your sparkle and spunk?"
"Oh, shut up, Greg." says Margo with a wry grin.
Comic
"Hey Margo -" calls Greg Cooper, "long day?"
"Yes... no... whatever." says Margo happily.
"What's wrong, Margo?" asks Greg. "You look heartbroken. Where's your sparkle and spunk?"
"Oh, shut up, Greg." says Margo with a wry grin.
Comic
2012-11-15
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