Sitcom Thursday: Relationship Drama

Beetle Bailey, 2014-04-07.

"Sarge is really mad that Beetle is still in bed" says Pvt. Diller.
"He's going to dump him" says Pvt. Plato.
Sgt. Snorkel kicks Pvt. Bailey's bed, knocking it vertical. Beetle remains in the bed as he has put a large belt around the bed and himself, presumably as a form of protection against this very eventuality.
"It's a good thing he has his seat belt on" remarks Diller.

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Well? Don't leave us hanging, Mort Walker. Did Sarge dump Beetle or are they still going out?

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Hägar the Horrible, 2014-04-07.

"I sail for England today !!" announces Hägar. "Can I get you something there?"
"Please bring back another wife" says Helga.

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Hägar the Polygamist?

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B.C. 2014-04-08.

Curls and Peter are sitting on a rock in the middle of a vast expanse of water.
"What?" says Curls, confrontationally.
"This is why we don't go mountain climbing during the spring thaw!" says Peter.

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Surely the top of a mountain is the only safe place to be if the water level has risen that high?

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Henry, 2014-04-10.

Henry sees an advertisement for some "pure vegetable egg-dye" for colouring Easter eggs. After making up the dye he feeds it to a hen in the hopes that the eggs laid by that hen will be colourful.

Sitcom Thursday: Rules for throwing out socks

"Ready to go to the store, Henry?" asks Henry's mother. "Pick up a pound of frankfurters for supper, dear!"
So Henry heads down to the grocery shop, but when he gets there he sees a sign in the window that says "No dogs", so he goes back home. You see, the sign is intended to prevent people from bringing their pets into the shop, but Henry has misinterpreted it as a warning that the shop has sold out of hot-dogs, which is another name for frankfurters.

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"I told Sarge you needed to see him." said Pvt. Bailey. "He said he'd come after lunch"
"I need to see him now!" roars Lt. Fuzz. "Go get him!"
So Bailey gets into a track loader and uses the bucket to pick Sgt. Snorkel up and drive him back to where Fuzz is waiting.

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"There's a sock in your waste-basket." says Sheila.
"That's mine." replies Gen. Halftrack. "It had a hole in it."
"Why didn't you throw it out at home?" asks Sheila.
"You have rules for throwing out socks ?" asks the general.
Pvt. Bailey, peering in through the window, is mystified by the whole scenario.

Honestly, I only modified two of these comics

Based on the 2013-12-19 Marmaduke strip.

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The Pajama Diaries, 2013-12-19.

Is it just me, or is anyone else surprised that this got published in newspapers? I mean, the joke here is that she is about to have sex with her tablet, right? And she's wearing only her underwear. This is basically an invitation for letters of complaint.

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Based on the 2013-12-19 On The Fast Rack strip.

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As Henry is walking down the street a boy runs past him going in the opposite direction. Another boy follows close behind him.
"A big milk truck upset, Henry!" calls the second boy as he passes.
Henry quickly runs home to fetch his cats.

Henry, 2013-12-19.

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"Thar's Doc Pritchart an' Snuffy headed fer th' community Chris'mas party !!" says Elviney.
Snuffy and Pritchart are dressed as Santa and an elf, and although Snuffy is short and the doctor is tall, Snuffy is Santa and Doc is the elf.
"Not eg'zactly masters of th' obvious, are they ?" muses Lukey.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2013-12-19.

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Apartment 3-G, 2013-12-19.

"We'll stay in touch." says Lu Ann, probably even meaning it. But this is Apartment 3-G, so you can pretty much guarantee that this is the last we'll ever hear of Cole or Marty. I wonder who Lu Ann will get engaged to next month?

Also, it seems like a while since we've heard anything of Margo, so hopefully she'll make up for her absence with a particularly crazy Christmas/new year's eve story.

Also Tommie still exists, presumably.

A sense of propriety

The doorbell rings while Henry is wearing his underwear, but he goes to answer it anyway. It's the postman.
"Morning, Henry!" says the postman. "Here's a letter from Henrietta!"
In a sudden panic, Henry turns and runs back upstairs. He returns a moment later, fully dressed, to collect the letter.

Henry, 2013-11-20.

Golf jokes and hamster gangs

A police officer and a woman watch as Heathcliff, encased in a hamster ball, chases a number of smaller hamster balls down the street, each of which contains a hamster.
"He's going after that hamster gang." says the police officer.

Heathcliff, 2013-11-19.

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Todd the Dinosaur, 2013-11-19.

So, Trent answered the door, met Al Gore, found out that Gore was there to see Todd, and then just shut the door in his face and went to tell Todd about it? Rude.

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Henry visits a driving range where they are offering a deal where you can hit a bucket of golf balls for 50 cents. He approaches the staff member at the counter and pays for a bucket. Taking his place at the range, he places the bucket before himself and strikes it with a golf club. You see, he hit the bucket rather than taking the balls out and hitting them individually, following the directions literally rather than doing what was expected.

Henry, 2013-11-19.

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Sgt. Snorkel has a sign up beside his desk which simply reads "THINK". Beetle paints over the K, and before the sergeant can react he turns and leaves, pausing only to remark "Now you've got something to think about".

Beetle Bailey, 2013-11-19.

Wrinkle-proof ties

Henry is in a shop admiring a display of ties. Above them is a sign proclaiming them to be "wrinkle-proof". Seeing that the sales assistant's back is turned, Henry attempts to test the claim, but the man sees him reaching across the counter and turns to glare at him. Henry walks shame-facedly from the shop.

Henry, 2013-10-31.

Henry

Having discovered that the clockwork man he has bought does not walk in a straight line, Henry examines its feet and discovers an unevenness that would account for the consistent deviation. Assuming that toy shoes are much the same as real shoes, Henry takes the doll to a shoe repair shop.

Henry, 2013-08-24.

Henry

Henry is driving a car along the footpath until he comes to a sign that says "Motorists please park on angle". He gets out of his car and leaves it leaning against the signpost.

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Henry

"Remember," says Henry's mother as she leaves the house, "I don't want you to have any visitors while I am gone, Henry!"
After his mother leaves, Henry notices a fly in the house. Taking a very broad definition of the word "visitor", Henry begins to panic. He quickly realises though that there is some bug spray in the house, so he gets it and quickly uses it to kill the offending insect.

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Henry

As Henry walks down the street he encounters a small child sitting on a barrel and crying. Taking the boy's hand, Henry leads him to a greeting card shop. They enter, and Henry shows him a display of "cheer up" cards. The boy is delighted. The shop owner looks on sternly.

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Henry

Henry walks down the street chewing some gum, umbrella in hand. Suddenly he spies a coin down the stormwater drain and a cunning plan comes to mind. Affixing the gum to the end of his umbrella he sticks it down between the grates of the drain and snags the coin. But disaster strikes as he attempts to retrieve it, the umbrella opens and will no longer fit through the gap.

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Pondering Henry

What⁉ Henry can talk? But the whole premise of the comic...

OK, so Henry can talk, but we never see his dialogue. He's even clearly supposed to be talking "on-screen" in this comic, the person on the other end of the line can hear him. Not very well, but he's obviously talking.

So Henry's been talking the whole time? When people talk to him he responds with words? He's not mute?

So why don't we see his dialogue? Why is he portrayed as being silent if he actually can (and does) speak? Or, if he's portrayed as silent, why isn't he actually silent? I just don't get it.

Henry

Walking down the street, Henry encounters a boy painting on a fence and stops to watch. "BARGAIN" writes the boy before pausing to admire his handiwork.
"Now, if only I had something to sell!" he says. So Henry decks him.

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Henry

Henry strides aggressively towards a boy in a green windcheater, balancing a grey brick on his arm. The other boy glares at him. Henry puts his hands on his hips and glares back. The boy grins nastily and begins removing his windcheater.

Henry throws up his arms in panic, dislodging the brick. Thinking quickly he grabs the now loose sleeves of the other boy's windcheater and ties them together, trapping him inside the garment, before strolling off, wiping the sweat from the back of his head with a red handkerchief.

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Henry

Henry sees a "boy wanted" sign in a shop window, so he takes the job.
"We'll have a sale on cereal today!" says the owner. "Stack up these boxes, Henry!"
Henry builds a circular structure of cereal boxes around himself, and then holds a sign reading "I have to sell my way out. Please buy a box"

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Henry

Henry sits on a crowded train. A grey-haired lady approaches, and Henry gets up, offering her his seat. The lady sits down, and Henry sits on her lap, to the shock of the lady herself and the other passengers.

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