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Showing posts with label Heathcliff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heathcliff. Show all posts
2014-09-19
One-Panel Whatday: In-Depth Analysis
Ballard Street, 2014-09-15.
A group of five men are walking together down the footpath. Each of them wears a headset connected to a little box at his hip and each box is connected to the others. It's the Ballard Street Walking & Talking Club.
F-Minus, 2014-09-15.
A man and a woman are sitting on their couch, inside their house. The front door is open. The man is holding a length of blue cable that trails away outside the house.
"You're really missing the point of the leash law." says the woman.
The implication is that there is a dog attached to the other end of the blue cable and the man is obeying the letter of the law by having his dog on a lead, while in reality letting it wander about the neighbourhood unsupervised and at will. Perhaps he is missing the point, or perhaps this is an act of wilful disobedience, a protest against a law he sees as unwarranted.
Or perhaps there is no dog, the man is simply holding a blue cable which bears no relevance to the conversation he is having, in which he has demonstrated a lack of understanding with regard to leash laws and their purpose.
Who can say?
Heathcliff, 2014-09-15.
Heathcliff and Sonja are floating in the air, suspended by bright pink balloons attached to their faces. A man and a woman stand on the ground watching them pass. The two are long since used to Heathcliff and his high jinks, and are not shocked at the spectacle. But it does cause the woman to reminisce.
"You never buy me gum anymore." she says.
Family Circus, 2014-09-15.
"You never know what's going to happen." says Thel, presumably in response to some dumb thing Jeffy just said.
"Yeah, nobody ever tells me anything either." says Jeffy, assuming that everyone lives in the state of perpetual ignorance in which he lives his life.
A group of five men are walking together down the footpath. Each of them wears a headset connected to a little box at his hip and each box is connected to the others. It's the Ballard Street Walking & Talking Club.
F-Minus, 2014-09-15.
A man and a woman are sitting on their couch, inside their house. The front door is open. The man is holding a length of blue cable that trails away outside the house.
"You're really missing the point of the leash law." says the woman.
The implication is that there is a dog attached to the other end of the blue cable and the man is obeying the letter of the law by having his dog on a lead, while in reality letting it wander about the neighbourhood unsupervised and at will. Perhaps he is missing the point, or perhaps this is an act of wilful disobedience, a protest against a law he sees as unwarranted.
Or perhaps there is no dog, the man is simply holding a blue cable which bears no relevance to the conversation he is having, in which he has demonstrated a lack of understanding with regard to leash laws and their purpose.
Who can say?
Heathcliff, 2014-09-15.
Heathcliff and Sonja are floating in the air, suspended by bright pink balloons attached to their faces. A man and a woman stand on the ground watching them pass. The two are long since used to Heathcliff and his high jinks, and are not shocked at the spectacle. But it does cause the woman to reminisce.
"You never buy me gum anymore." she says.
Family Circus, 2014-09-15.
"You never know what's going to happen." says Thel, presumably in response to some dumb thing Jeffy just said.
"Yeah, nobody ever tells me anything either." says Jeffy, assuming that everyone lives in the state of perpetual ignorance in which he lives his life.
2014-09-03
One-Panel Wednesday: You've got to admire his style
Heathcliff, 2014-09-01.
Heathcliff is piloting a small boat behind which half a dozen cats are water-skiing in a pyramid formation. Each cat (including Heathcliff) is carrying a fish. Sonja is on top of the pyramid. As they go by the fish market, two fishmongers come out to watch.
"You've got to admire his style." says one to the other.
Heathcliff is piloting a small boat behind which half a dozen cats are water-skiing in a pyramid formation. Each cat (including Heathcliff) is carrying a fish. Sonja is on top of the pyramid. As they go by the fish market, two fishmongers come out to watch.
"You've got to admire his style." says one to the other.
2014-08-20
One-Panel Wednesday: All hail Heathcliff, for he is our new god-king.
Dennis the Menace, 2014-08-08.
"I was supposed to sit here for 15 minutes, but I think I've gone into overtime." says Dennis glumly.
A very large, creepy-looking cat smirks at him.
Family Circus, 2014-08-08.
"I want you to know that you can be arrested for wearing socks with sandals." says Dolly, pointing at Jeffy's feet.
Jeffy looks suitably chagrined.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-12.
Heathcliff and two other cats are on a stage wearing egg cotumes and playing musical instruments. A crowd of other cats watch them in silence. The drum kit bears the name "Dumpty". Three humans observe from a nearby window.
"His new band." says one.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-19.
Heathcliff is seated on a throne between two flaming torches. Behind him looms a massive cat's head idol. One mouse beats a drum as another approaches with a cocktail on a tray.
"Just another Tuesday night." remarks one owl to another.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-20.
Heathcliff flies over the neighbourhood in a helicopter made in his image.
"It's garbage night somewhere." remarks one man to another.
"I was supposed to sit here for 15 minutes, but I think I've gone into overtime." says Dennis glumly.
A very large, creepy-looking cat smirks at him.
Family Circus, 2014-08-08.
"I want you to know that you can be arrested for wearing socks with sandals." says Dolly, pointing at Jeffy's feet.
Jeffy looks suitably chagrined.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-12.
Heathcliff and two other cats are on a stage wearing egg cotumes and playing musical instruments. A crowd of other cats watch them in silence. The drum kit bears the name "Dumpty". Three humans observe from a nearby window.
"His new band." says one.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-19.
Heathcliff is seated on a throne between two flaming torches. Behind him looms a massive cat's head idol. One mouse beats a drum as another approaches with a cocktail on a tray.
"Just another Tuesday night." remarks one owl to another.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-20.
Heathcliff flies over the neighbourhood in a helicopter made in his image.
"It's garbage night somewhere." remarks one man to another.
2014-07-02
One-Panel Wednesday: Death, disease and tragedy. But funny.
Heathcliff, 2014-06-19.
Heathcliff leaves a hat shop, wearing a Mickey Mouse ears hat which he has presumably just purchased.
"The exterminator." says one of the hat shop staff members to the other.
I guess he's dressing as a mouse to kill mice? I don't get it.
Pardon My Planet, 2014-06-30.
A man is seeing a psychiatrist.
"A lot of people are not what we call 'morning people' and there are a lot of hidden reasons for that." says the psychiatrist. "However, in your case I'm guessing that 'getting up on the wrong side of the driveway' might be a hint."
It's funny because he's an alcoholic. He has a serious problem that's negatively affecting his life and health. Hilarious. Also, that is a lot of words for such a weak joke.
Family Circus, 2014-07-01.
PJ is eating a rapidly melting ice-cream. Dolly has just finished hers.
"You gotta remember, PJ," says Dolly, "the hotter the day, the faster you need to eat it."
PJ looks up at her sadly.
Heathcliff leaves a hat shop, wearing a Mickey Mouse ears hat which he has presumably just purchased.
"The exterminator." says one of the hat shop staff members to the other.
I guess he's dressing as a mouse to kill mice? I don't get it.
Pardon My Planet, 2014-06-30.
A man is seeing a psychiatrist.
"A lot of people are not what we call 'morning people' and there are a lot of hidden reasons for that." says the psychiatrist. "However, in your case I'm guessing that 'getting up on the wrong side of the driveway' might be a hint."
It's funny because he's an alcoholic. He has a serious problem that's negatively affecting his life and health. Hilarious. Also, that is a lot of words for such a weak joke.
Family Circus, 2014-07-01.
PJ is eating a rapidly melting ice-cream. Dolly has just finished hers.
"You gotta remember, PJ," says Dolly, "the hotter the day, the faster you need to eat it."
PJ looks up at her sadly.
2014-06-18
One-Panel Wednesday: Cats and Hedehogs
Heathcliff, 2014-06-12.
Heathcliff, pursued by two police officers, waves to Sonja as he passes her house.
"He always makes time to see you." says Sonja's owner.
Kliban's Cats, 2014-06-12.
A woman sits for a painter, holding a cat on her lap. As the painter paints her, the cat sitting on his lap works on the part of the painting featuring the woman's cat.
Bizarro, 2014-06-16.
A woman looks out the front windows of her house. In a row alongside the path to the doorway a line of hedgehogs have been partially buried, forming a decorative border. Two of them have managed to escape and are walking away.
"Chet," says the woman in alarm, "I don't think you buried the hedgehogs deep enough."
Dennis the Menace, 2014-0616.
Alice and Dennis are in a shop. The woman behind the counter is glaring at Alice. Alice is glaring at Dennis.
"But how can I watch my language?" asks Dennis. "It's invisible!"
What did he say? And why is the woman behind the counter so angry about it? The far more interesting part of this story apparently happened off-screen, just before the bit we actually get to see.
Heathcliff, pursued by two police officers, waves to Sonja as he passes her house.
"He always makes time to see you." says Sonja's owner.
Kliban's Cats, 2014-06-12.
A woman sits for a painter, holding a cat on her lap. As the painter paints her, the cat sitting on his lap works on the part of the painting featuring the woman's cat.
Bizarro, 2014-06-16.
A woman looks out the front windows of her house. In a row alongside the path to the doorway a line of hedgehogs have been partially buried, forming a decorative border. Two of them have managed to escape and are walking away.
"Chet," says the woman in alarm, "I don't think you buried the hedgehogs deep enough."
Dennis the Menace, 2014-0616.
Alice and Dennis are in a shop. The woman behind the counter is glaring at Alice. Alice is glaring at Dennis.
"But how can I watch my language?" asks Dennis. "It's invisible!"
What did he say? And why is the woman behind the counter so angry about it? The far more interesting part of this story apparently happened off-screen, just before the bit we actually get to see.
2014-05-07
One-Panel Wednesday: As rare as hen's teeth
The Lockhorns, 2014-05-05.
Leroy spots a sign in a window — "SIGN UP FOR OUR 10K CHALLENGE". He stops to consider it.
"Forget it, Leroy..." says Loretta, tiredly. "'K' is for kilometers, not 'kegs.'"
Ballard Street, 2014-05-05.
Roger is hanging by his hands from a clamp that he has affixed to a door-frame. At his feet a number of other clamps are scattered about. A dog is investigating them.
"Clamps are not a proper area of interest, Roger." says his wife.
Heathcliff, 2014-05-05.
Heathcliff and Garfield stand facing each other on an empty street.
"ShIt just got real." says one bird to another.
Pluggers, 2014-05-05.
Henrietta Beak is sitting in her car.
"Uh oh." she says, looking at the calendar she keeps on the dash. "I forgot I have a dentist appointment Friday. I better start flossing tonight."
A plugger continues to put a stick-on calendar she got from her bank onto her car's dashboard, even though she has three calendars on her cellphone.
Henrietta Beak is a chicken. She doesn't have teeth. Why is she going to a dentist? She is a chicken!
Leroy spots a sign in a window — "SIGN UP FOR OUR 10K CHALLENGE". He stops to consider it.
"Forget it, Leroy..." says Loretta, tiredly. "'K' is for kilometers, not 'kegs.'"
Ballard Street, 2014-05-05.
Roger is hanging by his hands from a clamp that he has affixed to a door-frame. At his feet a number of other clamps are scattered about. A dog is investigating them.
"Clamps are not a proper area of interest, Roger." says his wife.
Heathcliff, 2014-05-05.
Heathcliff and Garfield stand facing each other on an empty street.
"
Pluggers, 2014-05-05.
Henrietta Beak is sitting in her car.
"Uh oh." she says, looking at the calendar she keeps on the dash. "I forgot I have a dentist appointment Friday. I better start flossing tonight."
A plugger continues to put a stick-on calendar she got from her bank onto her car's dashboard, even though she has three calendars on her cellphone.
Henrietta Beak is a chicken. She doesn't have teeth. Why is she going to a dentist? She is a chicken!
2014-04-30
One-Panel Wednesday: People sure do hate their spouse's mother, right?
The Better Half, 2014-04-24.
"First they told me 2 + 2 + 4." says Stanley. "The they told me 3 + 1 + 4. After that, I lost all faith in our education system." And if he went through school and failed to learn to count then that would be a pretty harsh indictment of at least the school he went to.
Kliban, 2014-04-28.
An igloo is on fire. Several Eskimos form a line and pass blocks of ice forward to throw on the fire.
Snow job.
The Lockhorns, 2014-04-29.
Loretta's mother proudly shows off a trophy.
"Tennis?" says Leroy. "I thought it was for quidditch."
He's implying that Loretta's mother is a witch. You see, quidditch is the fictional game played by the wizards and witches in the Harry Potter series, so if she had won a quidditch trophy then she must be a witch. Leroy doesn't like his mother-in-law. That's the joke.
Heathcliff, 2014-04-29.
Heathcliff is spray-painting the word "POOP" onto a wall as a crowd of children watch and cheer.
"His graffiti is kid-friendly." remarks a police officer, making no attempt to stop the vandalism or apprehend the perpetrator.
"First they told me 2 + 2 + 4." says Stanley. "The they told me 3 + 1 + 4. After that, I lost all faith in our education system." And if he went through school and failed to learn to count then that would be a pretty harsh indictment of at least the school he went to.
Kliban, 2014-04-28.
An igloo is on fire. Several Eskimos form a line and pass blocks of ice forward to throw on the fire.
Snow job.
The Lockhorns, 2014-04-29.
Loretta's mother proudly shows off a trophy.
"Tennis?" says Leroy. "I thought it was for quidditch."
He's implying that Loretta's mother is a witch. You see, quidditch is the fictional game played by the wizards and witches in the Harry Potter series, so if she had won a quidditch trophy then she must be a witch. Leroy doesn't like his mother-in-law. That's the joke.
Heathcliff, 2014-04-29.
Heathcliff is spray-painting the word "POOP" onto a wall as a crowd of children watch and cheer.
"His graffiti is kid-friendly." remarks a police officer, making no attempt to stop the vandalism or apprehend the perpetrator.
2014-03-26
One-Panel Wednesday: Cats, Dogs and Skunks
Heathcliff has had his owner buy (or make?) a hat that is a throne for him to sit upon, so that he might survey the world as he is carried about.
"Is that a new throne hat?" asks a woman.
Does this mean that there's an old throne hat that's been replaced by this new one?
Heathcliff and Sonja watch fearfully as three skunks ride past on six-wheeled, army-green vehicles.
"Everyone moves aside for the skunk buggies." says one garbage man to another.
Hazel and the Baxter family go to the cinema. George decides to see "Flames of Passion" while the others watch "The Magic Elf".
"See you after the show, Mister B." says Hazel.
A Ballard Street resident attempts to teach her dog to read.
"Remember, we always read left to right and top to bottom." she says.
The dog seems to be concentrating.
"Is that a new throne hat?" asks a woman.
Does this mean that there's an old throne hat that's been replaced by this new one?
Heathcliff and Sonja watch fearfully as three skunks ride past on six-wheeled, army-green vehicles.
"Everyone moves aside for the skunk buggies." says one garbage man to another.
Hazel and the Baxter family go to the cinema. George decides to see "Flames of Passion" while the others watch "The Magic Elf".
"See you after the show, Mister B." says Hazel.
A Ballard Street resident attempts to teach her dog to read.
"Remember, we always read left to right and top to bottom." she says.
The dog seems to be concentrating.
2014-03-19
One-Panel Wednesday: Hey Girl
Sonja and her owners (a man and a woman) stand outside their house watching Heathcliff go by in a dirigible with "HEY GIRL" written on the side. Sonja is clearly delighted.
"You never blimp me any more." says the woman.
A police officer cuffs a man who has just spray-painted "Watch your step" on the wall beside a small step in the middle of a footpath.
"Helpful? Perhaps." says a second officer. "But still illegal."
"Thanks, Dennis." says Margaret as she leaves the Mitchell house. "I had a really nice time."
Dennis turns to his mother and shrugs.
"I must be losin' my touch." he says.
Leroy and Loretta crouch, facing each other, eager grins on their faces as they prepare to leap.
"Last time I ever ask them to hug it out." sighs the marriage counsellor.
"You never blimp me any more." says the woman.
A police officer cuffs a man who has just spray-painted "Watch your step" on the wall beside a small step in the middle of a footpath.
"Helpful? Perhaps." says a second officer. "But still illegal."
"Thanks, Dennis." says Margaret as she leaves the Mitchell house. "I had a really nice time."
Dennis turns to his mother and shrugs.
"I must be losin' my touch." he says.
Leroy and Loretta crouch, facing each other, eager grins on their faces as they prepare to leap.
"Last time I ever ask them to hug it out." sighs the marriage counsellor.
2014-03-14
Philosophical Friday: Consistently Good Comics
I thought that today instead of talking about what's wrong with a particular comic I'd just point out a few that there's nothing wrong with, some comics that are pretty much good every day.
The Amazing Spider-Man
Stan Lee is a mad genius and his version of Spider-Man is lazy, selfish and incompetent and fights some of the most absurd villains, including a guy named Bigelow who did time and therefore started calling himself Big Time and became obsessed with clocks. Or a bad actor who decided to dress as a clown and commit crimes, and had a car that looked like a duck. It's ridiculous and dumb, but it's about a guy who got super-powers by being bitten by a radioactive spider and decided to dress in a weird costume and become a vigilante, so what do you expect?
The Creeps
A strong contender for "best comic", The Creeps uses clever wordplay and unexpected twists to great effect and also sometimes plays with the format to add to the joke.
Cul de Sac
One of the best comics about children, now unfortunately in reruns due to the author's poor health.
Ham Shears
Ham Shears is a pig who moved to the city to find his fortune. He works at Boss's Butcher Shop and lives with Jill and Ingrid. Everyone in this comic is just a little bit odd. Boss thinks that every woman is named Jill. Jill is frighteningly intense about picking apples. Ham Shears is delightfully earnest.
Heathcliff
The other comic about a fat orange cat. The one that's actually good. Not that Garfield doesn't have its points, but Heathcliff is clearly the superior product. Unlike Garfield, Heathcliff goes in more for surreal humour and the unexpected.
Heavenly Nostrils
A comic about a girl and a unicorn. A well-executed take on the child and talking pet formula.
One Big Happy
A comic about kids. Not an original premise but done well and consistently funny.
Pros & Cons
Witty banter between police, lawyers and various others. The art style is a little off-putting at first but it does grow on you. There's also a graphic novel.
Reply All
I think everyone has the same reaction when they see Reply All — this comic looks like garbage. And it does. Donna Lewis really, really can't draw and doesn't seem to even be making any attempt to improve. But the writing's pretty good. If she got someone else to draw it then there wouldn't even be any question about it, it would be a good comic.
Sally Forth
This comic about a pretty ordinary middle-class American family was exactly as unremarkable as it sounds until a few years ago when the writing was taken over by Francesco Marciuliano and the family started going slowly insane. Ted likes to imagine his life is a TV show and may or may not have once been an assassin and one of Hilary's friends can hear other people's thoughts, but the great thing about it is how the crazy stuff is kind of just in the background of this relatively ordinary story.
Wee Pals
Morrie Turner created this comic in 1965 and continued to produce it until his death earlier this year, and it stayed funny and relevant the entire time. Amazingly, Turner worked so far ahead that we're still seeing new content even now, and hopefully it'll go into reruns when those run out.
The Amazing Spider-Man
Stan Lee is a mad genius and his version of Spider-Man is lazy, selfish and incompetent and fights some of the most absurd villains, including a guy named Bigelow who did time and therefore started calling himself Big Time and became obsessed with clocks. Or a bad actor who decided to dress as a clown and commit crimes, and had a car that looked like a duck. It's ridiculous and dumb, but it's about a guy who got super-powers by being bitten by a radioactive spider and decided to dress in a weird costume and become a vigilante, so what do you expect?
The Creeps
A strong contender for "best comic", The Creeps uses clever wordplay and unexpected twists to great effect and also sometimes plays with the format to add to the joke.
Cul de Sac
One of the best comics about children, now unfortunately in reruns due to the author's poor health.
Ham Shears
Ham Shears is a pig who moved to the city to find his fortune. He works at Boss's Butcher Shop and lives with Jill and Ingrid. Everyone in this comic is just a little bit odd. Boss thinks that every woman is named Jill. Jill is frighteningly intense about picking apples. Ham Shears is delightfully earnest.
Heathcliff
The other comic about a fat orange cat. The one that's actually good. Not that Garfield doesn't have its points, but Heathcliff is clearly the superior product. Unlike Garfield, Heathcliff goes in more for surreal humour and the unexpected.
Heavenly Nostrils
A comic about a girl and a unicorn. A well-executed take on the child and talking pet formula.
One Big Happy
A comic about kids. Not an original premise but done well and consistently funny.
Pros & Cons
Witty banter between police, lawyers and various others. The art style is a little off-putting at first but it does grow on you. There's also a graphic novel.
Reply All
I think everyone has the same reaction when they see Reply All — this comic looks like garbage. And it does. Donna Lewis really, really can't draw and doesn't seem to even be making any attempt to improve. But the writing's pretty good. If she got someone else to draw it then there wouldn't even be any question about it, it would be a good comic.
Sally Forth
This comic about a pretty ordinary middle-class American family was exactly as unremarkable as it sounds until a few years ago when the writing was taken over by Francesco Marciuliano and the family started going slowly insane. Ted likes to imagine his life is a TV show and may or may not have once been an assassin and one of Hilary's friends can hear other people's thoughts, but the great thing about it is how the crazy stuff is kind of just in the background of this relatively ordinary story.
Wee Pals
Morrie Turner created this comic in 1965 and continued to produce it until his death earlier this year, and it stayed funny and relevant the entire time. Amazingly, Turner worked so far ahead that we're still seeing new content even now, and hopefully it'll go into reruns when those run out.
2014-03-13
One-Panel We-Thursday? Breaking the law
I had an issue with my hard disk the other day, so I'm posting this a day late.
Marmaduke grabs Phil by the arm and drags him into the yard to see that the snowman that was there is now little more than a misshapen blob.
"There's nothing I can do, Marmaduke." says Phil. "It's called 'end of winter.'"
It isn't though, no one says "Ah, the weather's warming up, I'm so glad it's 'end of winter'!" That's just not what anyone calls it.
Mrs Nutmeg and Iggy wait while Heathcliff meets with his parole officer.
"That's his fake laugh." says Iggy.
It seems that Heathcliff is trying to get on his parole officer's side as he does not want to return to cat jail.
"Mommy, when I graduate from college, will I be smarter than your phone?" asks Dolly.
No, Dolly, you won't.
Marmaduke grabs Phil by the arm and drags him into the yard to see that the snowman that was there is now little more than a misshapen blob.
"There's nothing I can do, Marmaduke." says Phil. "It's called 'end of winter.'"
It isn't though, no one says "Ah, the weather's warming up, I'm so glad it's 'end of winter'!" That's just not what anyone calls it.
Mrs Nutmeg and Iggy wait while Heathcliff meets with his parole officer.
"That's his fake laugh." says Iggy.
It seems that Heathcliff is trying to get on his parole officer's side as he does not want to return to cat jail.
"Mommy, when I graduate from college, will I be smarter than your phone?" asks Dolly.
No, Dolly, you won't.
2014-03-05
One-Panel Wednesday: Misery and the Garbage Ape
Smiling happily, Loretta pats Leroy on the stomach.
"You're not too fat, Leroy..." she says. "You're just fat enough."
Leroy regards her attempt to assuage his self-loathing with contempt.
Shooka shooka shooka.
The sound breaks the silence of the night. Heathcliff holds his hand up, calling for silence.
Shooka shooka.
A helicopter draws into view. Heathcliff and Sonja stand and watch as it closes in. The door opens and a rope is lowered to the ground. Down the rope, bearing two garbage cans, rappels the garbage ape! Touching down, he pauses, then hurls the garbage cans into the air before disappearing back into the chopper, which flies away. Heathcliff and Sonja take their places on the upended garbage cans, thrones from which they survey their domain.
"The garbage ape rides again" comments one bird to another as they watch the helicopter vanish into the distance.
Thusday, dinner time in the Keane household. Jeffy regards his plate with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. Billy leans over and theatrically whispers "Now I know why these were left over from yesterday."
Monday. The children sit down for dinner. Thel brings them each a plate of brown mush. Once again, Jeffy regards his food with apprehension.
"When Mommy says, 'Just eat it,' you know you're not going to like it." says Dolly, resignedly.
"You're not too fat, Leroy..." she says. "You're just fat enough."
Leroy regards her attempt to assuage his self-loathing with contempt.
Shooka shooka shooka.
The sound breaks the silence of the night. Heathcliff holds his hand up, calling for silence.
Shooka shooka.
A helicopter draws into view. Heathcliff and Sonja stand and watch as it closes in. The door opens and a rope is lowered to the ground. Down the rope, bearing two garbage cans, rappels the garbage ape! Touching down, he pauses, then hurls the garbage cans into the air before disappearing back into the chopper, which flies away. Heathcliff and Sonja take their places on the upended garbage cans, thrones from which they survey their domain.
"The garbage ape rides again" comments one bird to another as they watch the helicopter vanish into the distance.
Thusday, dinner time in the Keane household. Jeffy regards his plate with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. Billy leans over and theatrically whispers "Now I know why these were left over from yesterday."
Monday. The children sit down for dinner. Thel brings them each a plate of brown mush. Once again, Jeffy regards his food with apprehension.
"When Mommy says, 'Just eat it,' you know you're not going to like it." says Dolly, resignedly.
2014-02-26
One-Panel Wednesday: Cats and Dogs
Heathcliff walks down the street chatting with Marmaduke. Two children watch them pass.
"They commiserate about fleas." says one boy to the other, failing to appreciate the incredible honour bearing witness to two such majestic being passing by.
Marmaduke sits by the window, watching the snow fall, thinking of the boy who so casually disrespected him earlier. Soon he must pay.
"Do you really have to go out, or do you feel like the snow is challenging you?" asks Phil.
Marmaduke turns and fixes him with an icy glare.
Heathcliff strides down the street wearing a centurion's helmet, wielding a net on a stick and a shield with a picture of a dog on it. Two dog-catchers watch him go by.
"He's our chihuahua guy." says one to the other.
Little do they realise that it is not chihuahuas that Heathcliff hunts this day. A human child must be taught a lesson.
"They commiserate about fleas." says one boy to the other, failing to appreciate the incredible honour bearing witness to two such majestic being passing by.
Marmaduke sits by the window, watching the snow fall, thinking of the boy who so casually disrespected him earlier. Soon he must pay.
"Do you really have to go out, or do you feel like the snow is challenging you?" asks Phil.
Marmaduke turns and fixes him with an icy glare.
Heathcliff strides down the street wearing a centurion's helmet, wielding a net on a stick and a shield with a picture of a dog on it. Two dog-catchers watch him go by.
"He's our chihuahua guy." says one to the other.
Little do they realise that it is not chihuahuas that Heathcliff hunts this day. A human child must be taught a lesson.
2013-12-16
It's pretty easy to tell chocolate and Vegemite apart
Heathcliff discovers an abnormally large mouse-hole in the wall and sticks his head in to see what's going on. He finds two adult mice standing behind a younger mouse. One of the adults is wearing an apron and a bow, the child is wearing a gi, the other mouse is naked.
The child takes a fighting stance.
"Watch out -" says the naked mouse. "He's an orange belt."
Heathcliff slowly backs away and resolves never to speak of or think about what he has just witnessed.
Heathcliff, 2013-12-13.
I don't think this would work. Firstly, Vegemite's darker than most chocolate, and secondly you'd notice when you tried to pick it up that it wasn't solid.
"Look, mister Capp, this can't go on." says the doctor. "You're going to have to stop drinking."
"Why, doc?" asks Andy.
"Because I'm trying to examine you" says the doctor.
You thought the doctor was advising him to cut alcohol consumption from his life, but actually Andy was just drinking a beer while he was at the doctor's surgery and the doctor found it inconvenient.
Andy Capp, 2013-12-13.
Grimm: Most punchable character in comics? It's a hard call, but he's up there.
What, you wanted some information about your father's condition? Ha, no. Shut up.
The child takes a fighting stance.
"Watch out -" says the naked mouse. "He's an orange belt."
Heathcliff slowly backs away and resolves never to speak of or think about what he has just witnessed.
Heathcliff, 2013-12-13.
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| Ginger Meggs, 2013-12-13. |
"Look, mister Capp, this can't go on." says the doctor. "You're going to have to stop drinking."
"Why, doc?" asks Andy.
"Because I'm trying to examine you" says the doctor.
You thought the doctor was advising him to cut alcohol consumption from his life, but actually Andy was just drinking a beer while he was at the doctor's surgery and the doctor found it inconvenient.
Andy Capp, 2013-12-13.
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| Mother Goose and Grimm, 2013-12-13. |
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| Apartment 3-G, 2013-12-13. |
2013-12-14
All of today's comics share a single punchline
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| Nancy, 2013-12-12. |
Heathcliff, like Batman, has a car designed to suit his theme — that theme being Heathcliff. Unlike Batman, Heathcliff uses his car to go to the shops to buy milk rather than to fight crime.
Heathcliff, 2013-12-12.
"Oh, doctor." calls Flo. "Just the person. Can I ask your advice? I've got this terrible irritating pain and I'm not sure what to do"
"Where is the pain?" asks the Doctor, totally unaware that he's walking right into a real knee-slapper.
"He's at home" says Flo.
She means Andy, you see. She's not in pain, she's saying that Andy is a pain. That's the joke.
Andy Capp, 2013-12-12.
I'm dog-sitting for my neighbors while they're out of town." says Fitch.
"Cool." says Dustin, patting the dog on the head.
"But Charlie has fleas. Yesterday I found one on my ankle."
Dustin immediately stops patting the dog.
"So go to the pet store and buy a flea collar." he says.
"I did that." says Fitch, "But it made my neck itch."
You'd expect him to have put the flea collar on the dog, but actually he tried it on himself. It's funny because it confounds our expectations.
Dustin, 2013-12-12.
2013-12-12
A reasonable explanation
Heathcliff is sitting on the doorstep next to a large trophy. He has a big white beard. A neighbour looking over the fence notices Heathcliff and is confused.
"Competitive bearding." explains a boy.
Heathcliff, 2013-12-09.
"Competitive bearding." explains a boy.
Heathcliff, 2013-12-09.
2013-12-06
Animals behaving oddly
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| Heathcliff, 2013-12-03. |
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| Beetle Bailey, 2013-12-03. |
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| Apartment 3-G, 2013-12-03. |
2013-11-28
Golf jokes and hamster gangs
A police officer and a woman watch as Heathcliff, encased in a hamster ball, chases a number of smaller hamster balls down the street, each of which contains a hamster.
"He's going after that hamster gang." says the police officer.
Heathcliff, 2013-11-19.
So, Trent answered the door, met Al Gore, found out that Gore was there to see Todd, and then just shut the door in his face and went to tell Todd about it? Rude.
Henry visits a driving range where they are offering a deal where you can hit a bucket of golf balls for 50 cents. He approaches the staff member at the counter and pays for a bucket. Taking his place at the range, he places the bucket before himself and strikes it with a golf club. You see, he hit the bucket rather than taking the balls out and hitting them individually, following the directions literally rather than doing what was expected.
Henry, 2013-11-19.
Sgt. Snorkel has a sign up beside his desk which simply reads "THINK". Beetle paints over the K, and before the sergeant can react he turns and leaves, pausing only to remark "Now you've got something to think about".
Beetle Bailey, 2013-11-19.
"He's going after that hamster gang." says the police officer.
Heathcliff, 2013-11-19.
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| Todd the Dinosaur, 2013-11-19. |
Henry visits a driving range where they are offering a deal where you can hit a bucket of golf balls for 50 cents. He approaches the staff member at the counter and pays for a bucket. Taking his place at the range, he places the bucket before himself and strikes it with a golf club. You see, he hit the bucket rather than taking the balls out and hitting them individually, following the directions literally rather than doing what was expected.
Henry, 2013-11-19.
Sgt. Snorkel has a sign up beside his desk which simply reads "THINK". Beetle paints over the K, and before the sergeant can react he turns and leaves, pausing only to remark "Now you've got something to think about".
Beetle Bailey, 2013-11-19.
2013-11-27
Lunchtime
Heathcliff is sitting next to a hard-hatted construction worker. Each of them has a lunchbox. The construction worker is eating a sandwich. Heathcliff's sandwich has wings and is flying away.
"I prefer whole wheat bread." says the construction worker.
Heathcliff, 2013-11-09.
"I prefer whole wheat bread." says the construction worker.
Heathcliff, 2013-11-09.
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