For Better or For Worse, 2014-09-22.
"Michael, you left your socks on the floor again!" screeches Lynn. "Michael, do you hear me?"
Michael's voice can be heard upstairs but it's not clear whether he's responding to her or something else.
"Are you listening?" she yells, starting to climb the stairs.
Michael still seems to be talking, but it increasingly clear that he is not talking to her. She reaches the door to his bedroom to find him singing along to the music he's listening to through headphones while studying. She is enraged at his rudeness.
This is why we don't yell at each other across the house, children. Find the person you want to speak to and get their attention, then you'll know they're listening. You just know Lynn's complained about the kids doing this exact thing, too.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-09-22.
Later that night...
"You said you wanted to talk to me, Jack." says Carol.
"I do, Carol." says Jack. "I'm just not sure where to start."
"Take your time — I'll wait." says Carol.
No, Jack! No! Do not take your time! You have taken too much time already! Why won't this end?
It seems it was all the way back in July when I last mentioned Rex Morgan, so you may have forgotten/not cared what was going on. I'll recap. Sarah Morgan, a small child, has been hired to illustrate a book. Dolly Pierpont, a fabulously wealthy former criminal has taken Sarah under her wing. Now Dolly has brought Sarah and Kelly (Sarah's babysitter) to a run-down warehouse to meet Rene Belluso, an artist who works for her. The Morgans are totally fine with all of this and even know about Dolly's criminal past. Just excellent parenting there.
Rex Morgan, 2014-09-16.
"That painting is called 'Sailing the Catboat'!" says Dolly. "The original is by Winslow Homer!"
"I've heard of him..." says Kelly, "a famous American painter!"
"But why do you paint someone else's painting, Mr. Belluso?" asks Sarah.
"Because I've tried poverty and it's highly overrated!" says Rene.
So obviously Dolly is going to trick Sarah into becoming an art forger, right? Nope! Rene used to be an art forger but now he sells his paintings as reproductions, it's completely legit and his role here is just to give Sarah art lessons. Kelly is going to give Dolly a makeover though, so that could be entertaining, possibly.
Showing posts with label Melodrama Monday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Melodrama Monday. Show all posts
2014-09-23
2014-09-17
Melodrama Someday: Why is nothing happening?
Apartment 3-G is still just talk, talk talk. Jack's back now, and there's something wrong with his horse, but who gives a shit? Nothing is happening. Where is Margo? I'd even settle for Lu Ann. Just anything that gets us away from Tommie and Carol. I'm not even going to do a particular strip here, there is literally nothing to comment on. Moving on.
Mary Worth has finally finished the wrap-up and recap of the psychic Olive (prophet of the Lord) story with the conclusion that she's not psychic or anything, just intuitive, and Mary will definitely keep in touch with her (she definitely will not). The new story has started, but nothing has actually happened yet, so...
Nothing is happening in Luann either. We cut away from Rosa and Gunther (thank god), but in their place we got Luann and Bernice doing nothing and not revealing Bernice's mysterious new roommate, and now we're back with Bwad and Toni and TJ's insurance fraud, which sounds fun in theory, but nothing is actually happening. TJ just got the money and Bwad is still being all passive-aggressive about his suspicions, but TJ hasn't actually bought anything yet and Bwad is too spineless to actually confront him, so I guess this is going nowhere.
In Judge Parker, Neddy and Sam have met with Rocky and obviously he is absolutely thrilled to give her free use of his property to start her business because that's just how things work in this comic. And we've heard that there may be some ongoing drama with Godiva, but she hasn't actually been in the strip at all so it's just been boring people talking about something interesting that may or may not be happening off-screen.
But here's something. Sally Forth is actually dipping it's toe into the soap-opera genre this week, as it does from time to time. Alice, Sally's co-worker (and only friend) Alice has been looking for a new job, leaving Sally feeling conflicted. On the one hand, she doesn't want to hold Alice back, but she feels that their friendship probably won't survive if they don't see each other at work.
Sally is at her desk, writing something with a pen on paper like a caveman. Alice walks in.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" says Sally.
Alice remains silent.
"Did... did the mood just change in this room?" asks Sally, looking around. "Is there a switch for that kind of thing?"
"I got a job offer." says Alice.
OK, it's not much, but honestly I have never seen the soap strips be so boring all at the same time like this before. There's usually something happening!
Mary Worth has finally finished the wrap-up and recap of the psychic Olive (prophet of the Lord) story with the conclusion that she's not psychic or anything, just intuitive, and Mary will definitely keep in touch with her (she definitely will not). The new story has started, but nothing has actually happened yet, so...
Nothing is happening in Luann either. We cut away from Rosa and Gunther (thank god), but in their place we got Luann and Bernice doing nothing and not revealing Bernice's mysterious new roommate, and now we're back with Bwad and Toni and TJ's insurance fraud, which sounds fun in theory, but nothing is actually happening. TJ just got the money and Bwad is still being all passive-aggressive about his suspicions, but TJ hasn't actually bought anything yet and Bwad is too spineless to actually confront him, so I guess this is going nowhere.
In Judge Parker, Neddy and Sam have met with Rocky and obviously he is absolutely thrilled to give her free use of his property to start her business because that's just how things work in this comic. And we've heard that there may be some ongoing drama with Godiva, but she hasn't actually been in the strip at all so it's just been boring people talking about something interesting that may or may not be happening off-screen.
But here's something. Sally Forth is actually dipping it's toe into the soap-opera genre this week, as it does from time to time. Alice, Sally's co-worker (and only friend) Alice has been looking for a new job, leaving Sally feeling conflicted. On the one hand, she doesn't want to hold Alice back, but she feels that their friendship probably won't survive if they don't see each other at work.
Sally is at her desk, writing something with a pen on paper like a caveman. Alice walks in.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" says Sally.
Alice remains silent.
"Did... did the mood just change in this room?" asks Sally, looking around. "Is there a switch for that kind of thing?"
"I got a job offer." says Alice.
OK, it's not much, but honestly I have never seen the soap strips be so boring all at the same time like this before. There's usually something happening!
2014-09-02
Melodrama Monday: All Talk
It turns out that Dr. Kapuht's drug use led to the death of a patient, so it's a good thing that Mary Worth convinced Olive's parents not to trust him.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-26.
At the hospital, Mary overhears two doctors talking.
"You'd never guess that he's a drug addict by the look of him! Kapuht fooled a lot of people!"
"It's always the ones you don't suspect, isn't it?"
"What a shame about the patient, though!"
"Yes, an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour... I'm glad it wasn't me!"
And "an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour" is just the best phrase. It's written so awkwardly that it sounds like they're not even blaming Dr Kapuht, it was just a thing that happened. You can't even tell they're talking about the fact that someone died. Oh dear, what a shame, glad it wasn't me.
Then a few days later we had this delightful strip.
I have no idea what's going on with Mary's face, but I love it.
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it turns out that Gunther isn't dead. Nor was his departure to Peru an excuse to write him out of Luann entirely. In fact, we just got a whole week of him, with the implied promise of more to come.
It turns out that Rosa's uncle's clinic isn't the underfunded, ramshackle jungle-based operation providing the only source of medical care available to the grateful savages that she had pictured and is, in fact, well-funded and located in a city, and her uncle is a plastic surgeon. You'd think she would have known this. You'd think she'd have made some effort to find out what her uncle did before flying to a different country to work for him. But apparently Rosa heard "clinic in NotAmerica" and leapt to an incredibly stupid conclusion.
Luann, 2014-08-29.
"Here's your cubicle." says Sofia (Rosa's uncles executive assistant). "Read these manuals — phone answering and data entry. Settle in and I'll be back to take you to lunch and perhaps some clothes shopping..."
"Unbelievable." says Rosa. "My uncle's 'clinic' is a nip'n tuck factory!"
"Hey! I know this program!" says Gunther.
God, this is just so dumb. And although we're back with Luann herself this week, I can't help but feel that we're in for more of Rosa and Gunther in the near future. When will the Evanses realise that Tiffany is the best character and make the strip just be about her?
Unbelievably, Apartment 3-G is still dragging out this conversation between Carol and Tommie. The comic has just been the two of them talking since the 14th of July. And that's just going back to when the two of them played their incredibly mild practical joke on Tina, the supposed gossip. If we don't count Tina, it's a whole extra month before we see anyone else, and that was just Jack Riley. Remember him?
Before that point it's just the three of them, Tommie, Jack and Carol, all the way back to the 11th of May when Aristotle left. That was the last time we saw any of the regular cast members other than Tommie. And she's been on Jack's farm since the beginning of April. Why won't this end?
Well, this week Tommie's been telling Carol about her ex-boyfriends (who actually were never boyfriends at all) and it's been exactly as boring as you'd imagine.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-08-29.
"And that, Carol, brings me to doctor Joe Kelly. We worked together in the E.R. Joe was easy tot alk to and fun to be with right up until he..." says Tommie, "tried to kidnap his children, kill his wife and make a run for it."
"Whoa, Tommie — what the..." says Carol, grinning.
Remember when things used to happen in this comic? When it wasn't just the two most boring characters talking to each other day after day forever? Good times.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-26.
At the hospital, Mary overhears two doctors talking.
"You'd never guess that he's a drug addict by the look of him! Kapuht fooled a lot of people!"
"It's always the ones you don't suspect, isn't it?"
"What a shame about the patient, though!"
"Yes, an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour... I'm glad it wasn't me!"
And "an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour" is just the best phrase. It's written so awkwardly that it sounds like they're not even blaming Dr Kapuht, it was just a thing that happened. You can't even tell they're talking about the fact that someone died. Oh dear, what a shame, glad it wasn't me.
Then a few days later we had this delightful strip.
 |
| Mary Worth, 2014-09-01. |
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it turns out that Gunther isn't dead. Nor was his departure to Peru an excuse to write him out of Luann entirely. In fact, we just got a whole week of him, with the implied promise of more to come.
It turns out that Rosa's uncle's clinic isn't the underfunded, ramshackle jungle-based operation providing the only source of medical care available to the grateful savages that she had pictured and is, in fact, well-funded and located in a city, and her uncle is a plastic surgeon. You'd think she would have known this. You'd think she'd have made some effort to find out what her uncle did before flying to a different country to work for him. But apparently Rosa heard "clinic in NotAmerica" and leapt to an incredibly stupid conclusion.
Luann, 2014-08-29.
"Here's your cubicle." says Sofia (Rosa's uncles executive assistant). "Read these manuals — phone answering and data entry. Settle in and I'll be back to take you to lunch and perhaps some clothes shopping..."
"Unbelievable." says Rosa. "My uncle's 'clinic' is a nip'n tuck factory!"
"Hey! I know this program!" says Gunther.
God, this is just so dumb. And although we're back with Luann herself this week, I can't help but feel that we're in for more of Rosa and Gunther in the near future. When will the Evanses realise that Tiffany is the best character and make the strip just be about her?
Unbelievably, Apartment 3-G is still dragging out this conversation between Carol and Tommie. The comic has just been the two of them talking since the 14th of July. And that's just going back to when the two of them played their incredibly mild practical joke on Tina, the supposed gossip. If we don't count Tina, it's a whole extra month before we see anyone else, and that was just Jack Riley. Remember him?
Before that point it's just the three of them, Tommie, Jack and Carol, all the way back to the 11th of May when Aristotle left. That was the last time we saw any of the regular cast members other than Tommie. And she's been on Jack's farm since the beginning of April. Why won't this end?
Well, this week Tommie's been telling Carol about her ex-boyfriends (who actually were never boyfriends at all) and it's been exactly as boring as you'd imagine.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-08-29.
"And that, Carol, brings me to doctor Joe Kelly. We worked together in the E.R. Joe was easy tot alk to and fun to be with right up until he..." says Tommie, "tried to kidnap his children, kill his wife and make a run for it."
"Whoa, Tommie — what the..." says Carol, grinning.
Remember when things used to happen in this comic? When it wasn't just the two most boring characters talking to each other day after day forever? Good times.
2014-08-18
Melodrama Monday: Insurance fraud and drug abuse
You'd think that in the time since I last posted on a Monday, something interesting must have happened in at least one of the soap opera strips. Well, honestly, not really. Unless you can count anything at all that happens in Luann as being interesting.
Luann, 2014-08-01.
TJ is collecting the day's rubbish and tidying up in his food truck. Finishing up he takes the garbage bag out to the bin. Just as he reaches it,
KA-BLOOIE!!
His truck explodes. TJ is so shocked that his hat flies up into the air and he raises a single eyebrow.
Given that TJ had just that morning been complaining to Brad about how his food truck was not doing well and he hated working there, this explosion seems a little suspicious. When it turns out that the truck was fully insured, even Bwad becomes suspicious. There was a poll on GoComics where we, the readers, got to choose whether TJ would get the money or be accused of fraud. Unfortunately the voters decided to let him off, but I guess there could be some drama to be played out if Bwad continues to believe that TJ has committed fraud, Bwad being the conscientious and upstanding fire-fighter that he is.
But we'll have to wait and see, because now the focus has shifted back onto Luann and her friends. Could be worse, I suppose. We could be following Gunther.
Not much has happened in Mary Worth, because Mary has spent the last two weeks recapping the plot for Olive's parents and then again for Toby, but we did find out what Olive's mysterious powers were warning her about.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-09.
"Agree to it or not, the procedure has to be done." says Ed.
"It won't be with Dr. Kapuht!" says Evy. "I still don't understand why Olive dislikes him! He seemed fine to me!"
"Kids have peculiar likes and dislikes." says Ed. "Mary said Olive's very sensitive. Maybe something about him struck her the wrong way!"
Meanwhile (at the hospital?), doctor Kapuht rolls up his sleeve to inject himself with something.
So I guess he's meant to be a drug user? There are no labels, so it's impossible to tell what he's actually injecting, so it could be something completely legitimate and above board. I guess this means that he isn't going to turn out to be Satan. What a disappointment.
Luann, 2014-08-01.
TJ is collecting the day's rubbish and tidying up in his food truck. Finishing up he takes the garbage bag out to the bin. Just as he reaches it,
KA-BLOOIE!!
His truck explodes. TJ is so shocked that his hat flies up into the air and he raises a single eyebrow.
Given that TJ had just that morning been complaining to Brad about how his food truck was not doing well and he hated working there, this explosion seems a little suspicious. When it turns out that the truck was fully insured, even Bwad becomes suspicious. There was a poll on GoComics where we, the readers, got to choose whether TJ would get the money or be accused of fraud. Unfortunately the voters decided to let him off, but I guess there could be some drama to be played out if Bwad continues to believe that TJ has committed fraud, Bwad being the conscientious and upstanding fire-fighter that he is.
But we'll have to wait and see, because now the focus has shifted back onto Luann and her friends. Could be worse, I suppose. We could be following Gunther.
Not much has happened in Mary Worth, because Mary has spent the last two weeks recapping the plot for Olive's parents and then again for Toby, but we did find out what Olive's mysterious powers were warning her about.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-09.
"Agree to it or not, the procedure has to be done." says Ed.
"It won't be with Dr. Kapuht!" says Evy. "I still don't understand why Olive dislikes him! He seemed fine to me!"
"Kids have peculiar likes and dislikes." says Ed. "Mary said Olive's very sensitive. Maybe something about him struck her the wrong way!"
Meanwhile (at the hospital?), doctor Kapuht rolls up his sleeve to inject himself with something.
So I guess he's meant to be a drug user? There are no labels, so it's impossible to tell what he's actually injecting, so it could be something completely legitimate and above board. I guess this means that he isn't going to turn out to be Satan. What a disappointment.
2014-07-28
Melodrama Monday: I soon may have to move Mary Worth to Tuesdays
Incredible development in Mary Worth, this week. As you may recall, Olive, the young Prophet of the Lord, has a cyst and her parents took her to the hospital where the Devil (disguised as a doctor) made an appointment with them to remove it. Olive was naturally terrified by this prospect, so the night before the appointment, while her parents slept, Olive snuck out to hide.
Foolishly, she failed to heed the words of the angel who had appeared to her several nights earlier and decided that the swimming pool was the ideal hiding spot. But at that moment, Mary awoke from a disturbing dream, a dream in which Olive flailed helplessly in the Charterstone pool...
Mary Worth, 2014-07-28.
Because of their strong connection, Mary senses Olive is struggling in the pool!
Mary wastes no time but runs out to the swimming pool and dives in, catching Olive by the hand and dragging her back to the surface.
"Mary!" thinks Olive.
"Olive!" thinks Mary.
So Mary Worth is psychic now. Olive was warned by an angel to stay away from the pool, and she failed to heed the advice and would have died if not for Mary magically sensing the danger. This is canon. Either that or Olive is psychic and sent a distress signal to Mary. Obviously I'm hoping that Mary is psychic though, because that could completely alter the premise of the comic forever. Even just the explicit confirmation that Mary Worth takes place in a world in which angels, fairies and psychics actually exist is pretty great though. As is this panel:
Remember how Judge Parker was really exciting and involved blood diamonds, disgruntled mercenaries and shoot-outs in the jungle just a few weeks ago? Forget that, that's done now. Now we're onto the good stuff. Rich people making money.
Neddy's back from France, you see, and she has an idea for a new business. She wants to design and make dresses. Sam has doubts about the potential of a clothes factory in America, what with workers wanting to be paid more than $1 a week and all, but Neddy has a plan.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-28.
Neddy explains her strategy to involve Godiva Danube in the new clothing line!
"She's looking for a company to maker her clothes, but doesn't want them made offshore!" says Neddy.
"Sam said it's too expensive to make garments here!" says Abbey.
"Not if you hire senior citizens..." says Neddy. "they already have health care and pensions!"
"Neddy, why didn't you tell Sam all this an hour ago?" asks Abbey.
See, it's fine. She's just going to exploit the elderly. I can't see a problem with that. And for those who may not know, Godiva Danube is a celebrity, whom the Spencer-Drivers met a while back when they sold her a horse. Also she's married to another celebrity with an equally stupid name, Rocky Ledge.
Apartment 3-G is still on this story about Tommie and the horse vet, minus the horse vet, so Tommie been spending some time with Carol. The two of them have gone from hating each other for no reason to liking each other for no reason and they decided to take a mid-morning break. Tommie apparently has never had a margarita before so Carol offers to make her one.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-21.
Later, on the shady porch...
"That was delicious, Carol." says Tommie. "I feel great!"
"A margarita on a hot day is perfection!" says Carol, staring vacantly past Tommie.
"So may I have another?" asks Tommie, seriously.
"Sure." says Carol, blankly. "But wait a while, Tommie. You don't want to get loopy."
Leaving aside the bizarre facial expressions (which can be explained away by Frank Bolle's usual level of care and attention), I get the impression that Tommie is totally unfamiliar with the effects of alcohol. Perhaps any drink other than water would normally just be too exciting for her to handle.
The second margarita didn't seem to make her "loopy", but it did get Carol talking. Turns out Jack's wife died. I'm pretty sure we already knew that, but Tommie didn't so we got to hear it all over again. And yes, that was two whole weeks of strips and all that happened was that Tommie and Carol drank two margaritas each and had a conversation that can be summarised as "Jack was married but she died." "Oh, I didn't know that."
Crankshaft has had a bit of an ongoing plot this week as Ed has been chosen for jury duty. In reality, of course, he would be disqualified almost instantly, but that wouldn't be funny. It's not funny anyway, but, you know.
The defendant was accused of starting a fire in his back yard and damaging the neighbours' property, something that Crankshaft does himself on a regular basis, so he interrupted the trial repeatedly to add his own support to the defence. After only one week of strips though it's time for the jury to deliberate.
Crankshaft, 2014-07-28.
"Okay..." says the foreman. "The result of the first vote is eleven guilty... and one not guilty."
Everyone turns to glare at Crankshaft.
"What?" he asks, shrugging.
Given that this is the Monday strip I guess we can look forward to this lasting until Saturday.
Foolishly, she failed to heed the words of the angel who had appeared to her several nights earlier and decided that the swimming pool was the ideal hiding spot. But at that moment, Mary awoke from a disturbing dream, a dream in which Olive flailed helplessly in the Charterstone pool...
Mary Worth, 2014-07-28.
Because of their strong connection, Mary senses Olive is struggling in the pool!
Mary wastes no time but runs out to the swimming pool and dives in, catching Olive by the hand and dragging her back to the surface.
"Mary!" thinks Olive.
"Olive!" thinks Mary.
So Mary Worth is psychic now. Olive was warned by an angel to stay away from the pool, and she failed to heed the advice and would have died if not for Mary magically sensing the danger. This is canon. Either that or Olive is psychic and sent a distress signal to Mary. Obviously I'm hoping that Mary is psychic though, because that could completely alter the premise of the comic forever. Even just the explicit confirmation that Mary Worth takes place in a world in which angels, fairies and psychics actually exist is pretty great though. As is this panel:
 |
| Panel from Mary Worth, 2014-07-28. |
Remember how Judge Parker was really exciting and involved blood diamonds, disgruntled mercenaries and shoot-outs in the jungle just a few weeks ago? Forget that, that's done now. Now we're onto the good stuff. Rich people making money.
Neddy's back from France, you see, and she has an idea for a new business. She wants to design and make dresses. Sam has doubts about the potential of a clothes factory in America, what with workers wanting to be paid more than $1 a week and all, but Neddy has a plan.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-28.
Neddy explains her strategy to involve Godiva Danube in the new clothing line!
"She's looking for a company to maker her clothes, but doesn't want them made offshore!" says Neddy.
"Sam said it's too expensive to make garments here!" says Abbey.
"Not if you hire senior citizens..." says Neddy. "they already have health care and pensions!"
"Neddy, why didn't you tell Sam all this an hour ago?" asks Abbey.
See, it's fine. She's just going to exploit the elderly. I can't see a problem with that. And for those who may not know, Godiva Danube is a celebrity, whom the Spencer-Drivers met a while back when they sold her a horse. Also she's married to another celebrity with an equally stupid name, Rocky Ledge.
Apartment 3-G is still on this story about Tommie and the horse vet, minus the horse vet, so Tommie been spending some time with Carol. The two of them have gone from hating each other for no reason to liking each other for no reason and they decided to take a mid-morning break. Tommie apparently has never had a margarita before so Carol offers to make her one.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-21.
Later, on the shady porch...
"That was delicious, Carol." says Tommie. "I feel great!"
"A margarita on a hot day is perfection!" says Carol, staring vacantly past Tommie.
"So may I have another?" asks Tommie, seriously.
"Sure." says Carol, blankly. "But wait a while, Tommie. You don't want to get loopy."
Leaving aside the bizarre facial expressions (which can be explained away by Frank Bolle's usual level of care and attention), I get the impression that Tommie is totally unfamiliar with the effects of alcohol. Perhaps any drink other than water would normally just be too exciting for her to handle.
The second margarita didn't seem to make her "loopy", but it did get Carol talking. Turns out Jack's wife died. I'm pretty sure we already knew that, but Tommie didn't so we got to hear it all over again. And yes, that was two whole weeks of strips and all that happened was that Tommie and Carol drank two margaritas each and had a conversation that can be summarised as "Jack was married but she died." "Oh, I didn't know that."
Crankshaft has had a bit of an ongoing plot this week as Ed has been chosen for jury duty. In reality, of course, he would be disqualified almost instantly, but that wouldn't be funny. It's not funny anyway, but, you know.
The defendant was accused of starting a fire in his back yard and damaging the neighbours' property, something that Crankshaft does himself on a regular basis, so he interrupted the trial repeatedly to add his own support to the defence. After only one week of strips though it's time for the jury to deliberate.
Crankshaft, 2014-07-28.
"Okay..." says the foreman. "The result of the first vote is eleven guilty... and one not guilty."
Everyone turns to glare at Crankshaft.
"What?" he asks, shrugging.
Given that this is the Monday strip I guess we can look forward to this lasting until Saturday.
2014-07-14
Melodrama Monday: Out of touch with reality
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-07-08.
"Crazy Harry and I are going to Comic-Con in San Diego..." says John, smirking. "Why don't you come with us? If you can't find Starbuck Jones #115 at Comic-Con, it can't be found."
"Don't you have to get tickets way in advance?" asked Holly.
"No, you can just show up on the day, it's fine!" replied John.
"You're right, John..." said Holly. "In fact, I probably wouldn't have to settle for a moldy reading copy... In fact, I could probably find a near mint copy... or even a mint copy... or a slabbed copy graded ten!!"
"Whoa!" says Harry, backing away and holding his hands up as though to defend himself. "Pump the breaks, Holly."
The whole issue of just going to Comic-Con on a whim aside, why the fuck is Holly even talking about getting a slabbed copy? She got a slabbed copy of the last issue she was looking for and immediately unsealed it.
If she were doing it to give comic collectors heart attacks that would be funny, but since this is Funky Winkerbean it should go without saying that nothing funny is happening. No, she "just [wants her] son to be able to read it". Keep in mind that she is collecting these comics for her son, and we have no idea whether he even wants to read it. He may in fact have preferred the slabbed copy. Or at least might have wanted to open it up himself.
I think collecting comic books is a dumb waste of money and if a real live person with more money than they knew what to do with bought a rare comic and burned it, that wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but this does. This is infuriating.
Foob, 2014-07-10.
Saint Michael and Lizardbreath are playing badminton in the back yard. Lynn comes out of the house.
"What's all the noise out here?" she asks, grumpily.
"Michael hit the birdie onto the roof, an' now it's stuck up there." says Lizardbreath.
"Why don't you use another one? I gave you six! Where are they?" demands Lynn.
They're all on the roof.
Goddamn kids, always creating minor inconveniences for their eternally suffering parents! Sometimes it just makes you want to lock them outside in the snow!
Apartment 3-G actually spent the entire week on having Tommie tricking Tina into thinking Lily was a baby and not a deer, which Carol found hilarious.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-12.
Tina drives off in a cloud of dust...
"Giggle-snort-guffaw!" says Carol, looking dazed, or possibly drugged. "Oh, Tommie, I haven't laughed like this in ages!!"
"It was pretty funny, Carol." says Tommie, tilting her head like a confused puppy. "And kind of mean."
"Tina deserved it, Tommie. And by the way, you have a great poker face!"
"Thanks. My roommates think I'm the funny one."
No, Tommie. No they don't. No one thinks that.
And Mary Worth's prophet of the Lord, Olive, has been taken by her parents to the hospital to have a doctor take a look at the cyst on her torso.
Mary Worth, 2014-07-14.
Olive is startled by Dr. Kapuht when he enters the room.
This is understandable as the Doctor is making arcane gestures and glaring and is surrounded by a golden halo of crackling energy. Also, the corridor behind him is pitch black, and for just a moment he had a moustache, but it vanished.
"Gasp!" says Olive.
"Olive... what's wrong?" asks the holy one's father.
"Dr. Kapuht, I'm sorry about my daughter." says the prophet's mother. "She's scared."
"Yes. Of course." says Kapuht, menacingly.
OK, I'm pretty sure that doctor is Satan.
"Crazy Harry and I are going to Comic-Con in San Diego..." says John, smirking. "Why don't you come with us? If you can't find Starbuck Jones #115 at Comic-Con, it can't be found."
"You're right, John..." said Holly. "In fact, I probably wouldn't have to settle for a moldy reading copy... In fact, I could probably find a near mint copy... or even a mint copy... or a slabbed copy graded ten!!"
"Whoa!" says Harry, backing away and holding his hands up as though to defend himself. "Pump the breaks, Holly."
The whole issue of just going to Comic-Con on a whim aside, why the fuck is Holly even talking about getting a slabbed copy? She got a slabbed copy of the last issue she was looking for and immediately unsealed it.
 |
| Panel from Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-06. |
I think collecting comic books is a dumb waste of money and if a real live person with more money than they knew what to do with bought a rare comic and burned it, that wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but this does. This is infuriating.
Foob, 2014-07-10.
Saint Michael and Lizardbreath are playing badminton in the back yard. Lynn comes out of the house.
"What's all the noise out here?" she asks, grumpily.
"Michael hit the birdie onto the roof, an' now it's stuck up there." says Lizardbreath.
"Why don't you use another one? I gave you six! Where are they?" demands Lynn.
They're all on the roof.
Goddamn kids, always creating minor inconveniences for their eternally suffering parents! Sometimes it just makes you want to lock them outside in the snow!
Apartment 3-G actually spent the entire week on having Tommie tricking Tina into thinking Lily was a baby and not a deer, which Carol found hilarious.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-12.
Tina drives off in a cloud of dust...
"Giggle-snort-guffaw!" says Carol, looking dazed, or possibly drugged. "Oh, Tommie, I haven't laughed like this in ages!!"
"It was pretty funny, Carol." says Tommie, tilting her head like a confused puppy. "And kind of mean."
"Tina deserved it, Tommie. And by the way, you have a great poker face!"
"Thanks. My roommates think I'm the funny one."
No, Tommie. No they don't. No one thinks that.
And Mary Worth's prophet of the Lord, Olive, has been taken by her parents to the hospital to have a doctor take a look at the cyst on her torso.
Mary Worth, 2014-07-14.
Olive is startled by Dr. Kapuht when he enters the room.
This is understandable as the Doctor is making arcane gestures and glaring and is surrounded by a golden halo of crackling energy. Also, the corridor behind him is pitch black, and for just a moment he had a moustache, but it vanished.
"Gasp!" says Olive.
"Olive... what's wrong?" asks the holy one's father.
"Dr. Kapuht, I'm sorry about my daughter." says the prophet's mother. "She's scared."
"Yes. Of course." says Kapuht, menacingly.
OK, I'm pretty sure that doctor is Satan.
 |
| Panel from Mary Worth, 2014-07-14. |
2014-07-07
Melodrama Monday: It's been a week of surprises
A new character has entered Apartment 3-G this week. The comic that is, not the apartment itself. Tina Grant, a woman whom we're told never shuts up. Tommie mentioned that she was "just getting milk for baby" and Tina instantly showed interest. Tommie, of course, did not bother to clarify that she was talking about a baby deer, even when Tina asked "How old is your darling child?" Apparently it's been four months since Tommie found that thing.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-07.
"May I see your baby, Tommie?" asks Tina.
"Oh, sure, Tina." says Tommie. "Lily must be around here somewhere."
"You're joking, right?" asks Tina, growing concerned.
Even knowing that Lily is a deer, I'm still a little surprised that she's just wandering freely around the farm (or whatever this place is).
Also surprising is the fact that Mary Worth continues to accept that Olive is receiving messages from God.
Mary Worth, 2014-07-04.
As Mary and Olive walk Charterstone grounds, Olive suddenly pulls Mary back.
"Watch out!" yells Olive.
"W-what?" stammers Mary.
A few seconds later, a branch suddenly falls.
"Whoa!" says Mary.
"Yeah." says Olive.
Are Mary and Olive doing a Bill & Ted impression at the end there? And is Olive actually psychic and receiving genuine messages from God? It's looking more and more likely!
Or maybe there's been a gas leak or something.
Perhaps the most surprising development though is in Judge Parker, where one of the main characters just received a whole lot of money out of the blue. I'm kidding, of course, there's nothing surprising about that at all.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-07.
As Abbey reads Katherine's email to Sam, Neddy returns from a morning in town!
"Are you sure it's a check?" asks Sam, as though there was ever any doubt.
"Yes, it's a repayment for my loan to Ross and Thalia..." says Neddy. "One hundred and twenty thousand smackers... paid in full! Plus interest!"
"That's great, Ned! I'll deposit it for you this afternoon!"
Neddy has never worked a day in her life.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-07.
"May I see your baby, Tommie?" asks Tina.
"Oh, sure, Tina." says Tommie. "Lily must be around here somewhere."
"You're joking, right?" asks Tina, growing concerned.
Even knowing that Lily is a deer, I'm still a little surprised that she's just wandering freely around the farm (or whatever this place is).
Also surprising is the fact that Mary Worth continues to accept that Olive is receiving messages from God.
Mary Worth, 2014-07-04.
As Mary and Olive walk Charterstone grounds, Olive suddenly pulls Mary back.
"Watch out!" yells Olive.
"W-what?" stammers Mary.
A few seconds later, a branch suddenly falls.
"Whoa!" says Mary.
"Yeah." says Olive.
Are Mary and Olive doing a Bill & Ted impression at the end there? And is Olive actually psychic and receiving genuine messages from God? It's looking more and more likely!
 |
| Panel from Mary Worth, 2014-07-07. |
Perhaps the most surprising development though is in Judge Parker, where one of the main characters just received a whole lot of money out of the blue. I'm kidding, of course, there's nothing surprising about that at all.
Judge Parker, 2014-07-07.
As Abbey reads Katherine's email to Sam, Neddy returns from a morning in town!
"Are you sure it's a check?" asks Sam, as though there was ever any doubt.
"Yes, it's a repayment for my loan to Ross and Thalia..." says Neddy. "One hundred and twenty thousand smackers... paid in full! Plus interest!"
"That's great, Ned! I'll deposit it for you this afternoon!"
Neddy has never worked a day in her life.
2014-06-30
Melodrama Monday: Terrible people getting everything they want
Luann and her friends have graduated from highschool and presumably will be starting university soon. Well, except for Rosa and Gunther, because they're going to Peru for some reason. If it were just Rosa it would be easy to understand; I'd want to get as far away from everyone from Pitts highschool as possible too, but that theory's sunk by her decision to bring Gunther with her. Other than Luann herself there's no one I'd be more keen to escape from. No, I take that back. Gunther is the worst.
Luann, 2014-06-30.
"Mom?" says Gunther. "I've made a huge decision. I'm -"
"Going to Peru next week with Rosa" says Mrs Berger cheerfully.
"Yes!" says Gunther. "How-"
"I heard you and Quill talking last night"
"Oh, so what do you-"
"I think it's time fo you to become your own person, Gunthie"
"Would that include finishing my own sen -"
"Remember when you said, 'why do I need a passport?'" she asks, holding it out to him.
Well, I guess that goes some way to explaining why Gunther is like he is. You'd think his mother would be less keen on getting him out of the house/country though. Maybe she's decided she likes Quill better and is planning on taking him in as her new son and forgetting Gunther ever existed. Wouldn't that be nice, if Gunther went to Peru and disappeared from the comic forever and we could all forget he ever existed? Just a strip three weeks from now with Luann mentioning that she missed his funeral with a footnote "Gunther died in the Amazon".
Speaking of people I wish were dead, Les Moore's been in Hollywood this week because his fucking awful book is being turned into an even worse TV movie and as usual he's acting like all this undeserved success and money is just the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-25.
Les sits in the office of Clay Wallace at Cable Movie Entertainment. Beside him he hallucinates that cat that represents his self-hatred or whatever.
"You've wasted your time creating a beautiful work of art, and you have my sympathy for that." says Clay. "Let me explain something... the folks paying the bills are 'Cable Movie Entertainment... not 'Cable Movie Art'!"
The cat rolls on the floor laughing. Presumably at the idea that anything Les produces could be described as "a beautiful work of art".
Poor Les, he's just too good at writing. What an incredible burden. Sure, he got to write the book and the screenplay and make shitloads of money off both of them, but now it turns out that these Hollywood philistines want to make some minor changes to his perfect, wonderful story about his perfect, wonderful dead wife. Lisa was the lucky one; She just died of cancer, she didn't have to suffer the unimaginable tragedy of being a successful writer.
And do you remember the girl in Mary Worth who seemed to be suffering from some sort of mental illness and hallucinated some fairies? Well, it didn't end there.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-18.
Later that night...
A pale woman in a white robe, with white wings spread behind her, surrounded by a blazing halo of brilliant light appears beside Olives bed. Olive sits up and stares at the woman in rapturous wonder.
An angel gives Olive a message.
The message, it turns out, was to stay away from the swimming pool, which makes sense as Olive can't swim, although it's a bit low-key for a messenger of God. Her parents regard this as a dream and are keen to ship Olive off to spend the day with Mary so that they can spend the day with each other.
The big surprise though is Mary. Rather than the obvious explanations of dream, hallucination or just a child making shit up, Mary's take on the situation is that it was an actual, real angel. I had assumed that this story was going to be about how the parents were too busy and self-absorbed to see that their daughter was mentally ill and Mary was going to save the day by convincing them to take Olive to a psychiatrist, so this development has thrown me a bit.
Now I'm hoping that this marks the comic's transition into the world of the supernatural, that fairies and angels are just real now and are going to start showing up all the time.
Another surprising development, this time in Rex Morgan. Remember Mrs Pierpont, the rich old lady who wanted to meet Sarah? Well, she's decided she likes Sarah and to basically give her whatever she wants, of course. And since Kelly's there she gets free stuff too.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-06-29.
"Really, you have a chauffeur named Bugsy?" asks Kelly.
"Bugsy worked for my late husband when we were in the rackets..." says Mrs Pierpont. "... I mean the dry-cleaning business!"
Sarah is too young to have caught the slip and Kelly doesn't seem to have noticed either.
"What about Mrs. Lanning?" asks Sarah. "Isn't she part of our book team anymore?"
"Do you want her to be?" asks Mrs Pierpont.
"She's actually been very good to Sarah!" says Kelly. "And I think her job depends on this project!"
"Actually, her job depends on me and my million bucks!" says Mrs Pierpont. "What do you think, Sarah... should I give it to them?"
Sarah looks incredulous.
"You're asking me... a little kid?"
"You're a smart girl! Should I give the museum a million dollars?"
Having never been given any reason to doubt that she is, in fact, a child of unrivalled intelligence and wisdom, Sarah quickly accepts the idea of adults asking her for advice.
"Absolutely!" she says.
And so begins Sarah's first step into the world of organised crime...
Luann, 2014-06-30.
"Mom?" says Gunther. "I've made a huge decision. I'm -"
"Going to Peru next week with Rosa" says Mrs Berger cheerfully.
"Yes!" says Gunther. "How-"
"I heard you and Quill talking last night"
"Oh, so what do you-"
"I think it's time fo you to become your own person, Gunthie"
"Would that include finishing my own sen -"
"Remember when you said, 'why do I need a passport?'" she asks, holding it out to him.
Well, I guess that goes some way to explaining why Gunther is like he is. You'd think his mother would be less keen on getting him out of the house/country though. Maybe she's decided she likes Quill better and is planning on taking him in as her new son and forgetting Gunther ever existed. Wouldn't that be nice, if Gunther went to Peru and disappeared from the comic forever and we could all forget he ever existed? Just a strip three weeks from now with Luann mentioning that she missed his funeral with a footnote "Gunther died in the Amazon".
Speaking of people I wish were dead, Les Moore's been in Hollywood this week because his fucking awful book is being turned into an even worse TV movie and as usual he's acting like all this undeserved success and money is just the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-25.
Les sits in the office of Clay Wallace at Cable Movie Entertainment. Beside him he hallucinates that cat that represents his self-hatred or whatever.
"You've wasted your time creating a beautiful work of art, and you have my sympathy for that." says Clay. "Let me explain something... the folks paying the bills are 'Cable Movie Entertainment... not 'Cable Movie Art'!"
The cat rolls on the floor laughing. Presumably at the idea that anything Les produces could be described as "a beautiful work of art".
Poor Les, he's just too good at writing. What an incredible burden. Sure, he got to write the book and the screenplay and make shitloads of money off both of them, but now it turns out that these Hollywood philistines want to make some minor changes to his perfect, wonderful story about his perfect, wonderful dead wife. Lisa was the lucky one; She just died of cancer, she didn't have to suffer the unimaginable tragedy of being a successful writer.
And do you remember the girl in Mary Worth who seemed to be suffering from some sort of mental illness and hallucinated some fairies? Well, it didn't end there.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-18.
Later that night...
A pale woman in a white robe, with white wings spread behind her, surrounded by a blazing halo of brilliant light appears beside Olives bed. Olive sits up and stares at the woman in rapturous wonder.
An angel gives Olive a message.
The message, it turns out, was to stay away from the swimming pool, which makes sense as Olive can't swim, although it's a bit low-key for a messenger of God. Her parents regard this as a dream and are keen to ship Olive off to spend the day with Mary so that they can spend the day with each other.
The big surprise though is Mary. Rather than the obvious explanations of dream, hallucination or just a child making shit up, Mary's take on the situation is that it was an actual, real angel. I had assumed that this story was going to be about how the parents were too busy and self-absorbed to see that their daughter was mentally ill and Mary was going to save the day by convincing them to take Olive to a psychiatrist, so this development has thrown me a bit.
Now I'm hoping that this marks the comic's transition into the world of the supernatural, that fairies and angels are just real now and are going to start showing up all the time.
Another surprising development, this time in Rex Morgan. Remember Mrs Pierpont, the rich old lady who wanted to meet Sarah? Well, she's decided she likes Sarah and to basically give her whatever she wants, of course. And since Kelly's there she gets free stuff too.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-06-29.
"Really, you have a chauffeur named Bugsy?" asks Kelly.
"Bugsy worked for my late husband when we were in the rackets..." says Mrs Pierpont. "... I mean the dry-cleaning business!"
Sarah is too young to have caught the slip and Kelly doesn't seem to have noticed either.
"What about Mrs. Lanning?" asks Sarah. "Isn't she part of our book team anymore?"
"Do you want her to be?" asks Mrs Pierpont.
"She's actually been very good to Sarah!" says Kelly. "And I think her job depends on this project!"
"Actually, her job depends on me and my million bucks!" says Mrs Pierpont. "What do you think, Sarah... should I give it to them?"
Sarah looks incredulous.
"You're asking me... a little kid?"
"You're a smart girl! Should I give the museum a million dollars?"
Having never been given any reason to doubt that she is, in fact, a child of unrivalled intelligence and wisdom, Sarah quickly accepts the idea of adults asking her for advice.
"Absolutely!" she says.
And so begins Sarah's first step into the world of organised crime...
2014-06-16
Melodrama Monday: Bullies are people who hate themselves
This week, Mary Worth met Olive, a little girl who seems to suffer from vivid hallucinations. Mary took her on a tour of the garden and showed her the roses, and Olive saw fairies amongst the flowers.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-11.
"Do you see them? The flower fairies?" asks Olive.
"Sure..." ays Mary, stifling a giggle.
"Flower fairies!" she thinks. "What an imagination this girl has!"
I guess Mary doesn't have much experience with children, because if we, the audience, hadn't been clued in by the art that the girl was hallucinating, here wouldn't seem to be anything remarkable about what that girl said. Kids talk about make-believe stuff all the time.
Combined with the way the fairies are drawn, as though actually in the scene, Mary's ludicrous over-reaction to how incredibly imaginative Olive is leads me to conclude that Olive is actually mentally ill. If this turns into a boring story of a kid who feels neglected by her busy parents I'll be very disappointed.
And the big reveal in Luann, the culmination of Bernice's secret plan with Tiffany...
Bernice got a haircut, then hid it under a wig that looked exactly like her old hair so that she could dramatically remove the wig as part of her graduation speech. That's it. I'm not even going to write this one out, it's too dumb.
In Funky Winkerbean news, Wally and Rachel got married. In the only wedding I've ever seen that could be mistaken for a funeral. And eventually (because of the rain) the ceremony was carried out in Montoni's, because that is literally the only business operating in Westview other than the comic shop.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-14.
"Now, where were we...?" asks the officiant.
"I do!" says Rachel.
"I do too!" Wally replies.
"Done!" says the officiant, understandably eager to be done with this and go somewhere less awful.
"I hope they'll be happy." says Holly.
"I don't see why not..." says Funky, smirking. "They don't call Montoni's 'the wedding chapel of love' for nothing!"
They don't call it that, Funky. No one calls it that.
And in Rex Morgan, Sarah stood up to a bully who then immediately backed down, because that's what happens, right? I don't know how bullies even still exist since all you have to do is stand up to them once and you solve the problem forever.
Rex Morgan, MD, 2014-06-16.
Mrs. Pierpont request to meet Sarah after watching her handle the class bully!
"You handled that pugnacious reprobate quite adroitly, Sarah!" says Mrs Pierpont, presumably in a posh English accent.
"Uh...?" says Sarah.
"Nice job on the way you handled that class bully!" explains Mrs. Pierpont, because it's funny when posh people translate their fancy words into normal-person English.
"Thank you..." says Sarah, "that's what I thought you said."
Sarah actually had no idea, she just always assumes that people are complimenting her.
Safe Havens, 2014-06-16.
Dave and Samantha meet in an airport.
"Happy anniversary!" they yell as they run toward each other.
"Wait." says Dave. "Something's —"
"I know." says Samantha. "Palmtop has a new family, and grandma's ring is on tour with Bambi. For the first time..."
"We're alone!" they say together.
Dave is conspicuously still wearing his "Google Glass device" though, so presumably they're only alone if you don't count all the people watching online.
Mary Worth, 2014-06-11.
"Do you see them? The flower fairies?" asks Olive.
"Sure..." ays Mary, stifling a giggle.
"Flower fairies!" she thinks. "What an imagination this girl has!"
I guess Mary doesn't have much experience with children, because if we, the audience, hadn't been clued in by the art that the girl was hallucinating, here wouldn't seem to be anything remarkable about what that girl said. Kids talk about make-believe stuff all the time.
Combined with the way the fairies are drawn, as though actually in the scene, Mary's ludicrous over-reaction to how incredibly imaginative Olive is leads me to conclude that Olive is actually mentally ill. If this turns into a boring story of a kid who feels neglected by her busy parents I'll be very disappointed.
And the big reveal in Luann, the culmination of Bernice's secret plan with Tiffany...
Bernice got a haircut, then hid it under a wig that looked exactly like her old hair so that she could dramatically remove the wig as part of her graduation speech. That's it. I'm not even going to write this one out, it's too dumb.
In Funky Winkerbean news, Wally and Rachel got married. In the only wedding I've ever seen that could be mistaken for a funeral. And eventually (because of the rain) the ceremony was carried out in Montoni's, because that is literally the only business operating in Westview other than the comic shop.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-14.
"Now, where were we...?" asks the officiant.
"I do!" says Rachel.
"I do too!" Wally replies.
"Done!" says the officiant, understandably eager to be done with this and go somewhere less awful.
"I hope they'll be happy." says Holly.
"I don't see why not..." says Funky, smirking. "They don't call Montoni's 'the wedding chapel of love' for nothing!"
They don't call it that, Funky. No one calls it that.
And in Rex Morgan, Sarah stood up to a bully who then immediately backed down, because that's what happens, right? I don't know how bullies even still exist since all you have to do is stand up to them once and you solve the problem forever.
Rex Morgan, MD, 2014-06-16.
Mrs. Pierpont request to meet Sarah after watching her handle the class bully!
"You handled that pugnacious reprobate quite adroitly, Sarah!" says Mrs Pierpont, presumably in a posh English accent.
"Uh...?" says Sarah.
"Nice job on the way you handled that class bully!" explains Mrs. Pierpont, because it's funny when posh people translate their fancy words into normal-person English.
"Thank you..." says Sarah, "that's what I thought you said."
Sarah actually had no idea, she just always assumes that people are complimenting her.
Safe Havens, 2014-06-16.
Dave and Samantha meet in an airport.
"Happy anniversary!" they yell as they run toward each other.
"Wait." says Dave. "Something's —"
"I know." says Samantha. "Palmtop has a new family, and grandma's ring is on tour with Bambi. For the first time..."
"We're alone!" they say together.
Dave is conspicuously still wearing his "Google Glass device" though, so presumably they're only alone if you don't count all the people watching online.
2014-06-09
Melodrama Monday: I probably shouldn't care this much about Luann
Apartment 3-G this week has been nearly incomprehensible. The combination of Frank Bolle's refusal to draw anything but people standing around talking (and only from the shoulders up) with dialogue that more closely resembles random sentences than an actual conversation has made it difficult, but I've mostly managed to piece together what's happening.
It turns out that Jack's wife died several years ago and Carol, his current girlfriend, was her best friend. This sounds like there might be some sort of murder conspiracy going on, but that's way too exciting for Apartment 3-G. Does this look like Judge Parker? No, Judge Parker is drawn competently.
Also Tommie is still around. And so is Lily the deer, who is now apparently "friends" with Mary the mare. Although the only evidence we've seen of this friendship so far is Carol saying so.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-06-09.
In the wee hours of the morning...
"Jack, what are you doing out here and why are you up at five A.M.?" asks Carol.
"Joey and I are taking a trip." says Jack.
"What are you talking about?!" asks Carol.
"You should go back to bed, Carol." says Jack.
Who is Joey? Has Joey been mentioned before and I just forgot? Also, the art in this strip reminds me of that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the guy somehow drains Counsellor Troi's youth, because Jack is looking younger than normal and Carol appears to now be about 80.
Luann, 2014-06-05.
"How awesome that you're valedictorian!" says Luann, to Bernice.
"No surprise, though" says Delta.
"I dunno," says Bernice, "you're right up there, Delta. Gunther, too. And Rosa"
"Want us to help you with your grad speech?" asks Delta.
"Nope. I'm gonna get help from Tiffany"
"Tiffany?!" screeches Luann, the only member of her friendship group who still holds this pathetic grudge. She is ignored.
"What, you're doing a cheer routine?" asks Delta.
"It's a secret" says Bernice.
There are about ten students in this graduating class, and apparently four of them were in the running for valedictorian. And notably, Luann was not one of them. I'm really looking forward to this graduation, to see if they actually go ahead with the "Luann is a lazy dumbass who is barely tolerated by her friends" thing they've been building up lately. I'd love to see Delta, Bernice, Tiffany, Rosa and Quill all do well and go off and be successful leaving Luann, Gunther and Knute behind forever. In my ideal version of events, the comic follows Tiffany from that point on, but seeing Luann's inevitable failures would be fine too.
Sally Forth has been focusing on Hilary and her friends this week, and their newly re-formed band. Turns out Hilary's kind of an arsehole.
Sally Forth, 2014-06-04.
"Despite what you may think, Hil," says Faye, "you're not the only one who's been writing songs for this band."
Hilary takes a look at the sheaf of papers.
"Wow, Faye, these are really heartfelt... revealing... personal... all the better to save for your solo album instead."
"I'm gonna kill her." Says Faye to Nona.
"Just channel that rage back into your songwriting." suggests Nona.
But then Nona reminded Hilary that they have to study and don't really have time for this anyway, a fact that Hilary had completely forgotten.
It turns out that Jack's wife died several years ago and Carol, his current girlfriend, was her best friend. This sounds like there might be some sort of murder conspiracy going on, but that's way too exciting for Apartment 3-G. Does this look like Judge Parker? No, Judge Parker is drawn competently.
Also Tommie is still around. And so is Lily the deer, who is now apparently "friends" with Mary the mare. Although the only evidence we've seen of this friendship so far is Carol saying so.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-06-09.
In the wee hours of the morning...
"Jack, what are you doing out here and why are you up at five A.M.?" asks Carol.
"Joey and I are taking a trip." says Jack.
"What are you talking about?!" asks Carol.
"You should go back to bed, Carol." says Jack.
Who is Joey? Has Joey been mentioned before and I just forgot? Also, the art in this strip reminds me of that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the guy somehow drains Counsellor Troi's youth, because Jack is looking younger than normal and Carol appears to now be about 80.
Luann, 2014-06-05.
"How awesome that you're valedictorian!" says Luann, to Bernice.
"No surprise, though" says Delta.
"I dunno," says Bernice, "you're right up there, Delta. Gunther, too. And Rosa"
"Want us to help you with your grad speech?" asks Delta.
"Nope. I'm gonna get help from Tiffany"
"Tiffany?!" screeches Luann, the only member of her friendship group who still holds this pathetic grudge. She is ignored.
"What, you're doing a cheer routine?" asks Delta.
"It's a secret" says Bernice.
There are about ten students in this graduating class, and apparently four of them were in the running for valedictorian. And notably, Luann was not one of them. I'm really looking forward to this graduation, to see if they actually go ahead with the "Luann is a lazy dumbass who is barely tolerated by her friends" thing they've been building up lately. I'd love to see Delta, Bernice, Tiffany, Rosa and Quill all do well and go off and be successful leaving Luann, Gunther and Knute behind forever. In my ideal version of events, the comic follows Tiffany from that point on, but seeing Luann's inevitable failures would be fine too.
Sally Forth has been focusing on Hilary and her friends this week, and their newly re-formed band. Turns out Hilary's kind of an arsehole.
Sally Forth, 2014-06-04.
"Despite what you may think, Hil," says Faye, "you're not the only one who's been writing songs for this band."
Hilary takes a look at the sheaf of papers.
"Wow, Faye, these are really heartfelt... revealing... personal... all the better to save for your solo album instead."
"I'm gonna kill her." Says Faye to Nona.
"Just channel that rage back into your songwriting." suggests Nona.
But then Nona reminded Hilary that they have to study and don't really have time for this anyway, a fact that Hilary had completely forgotten.
2014-06-02
Melodrama Monday: I don't understand any of this
Basically nothing at all happened in Rex Morgan MD this week. Sarah was told she had to wear a hat and she didn't want to but then Kelly distracted her by suggesting she paint a bus. That is, paint a picture of a bus. Then Kelly went to the museum café and got some apple juice, where she learned from Holly the café worker that part of Sarah's contract is free snacks. So it's been a non-stop thrill-ride, basically.
Rex Morgan, 2014-06-02.
"Don't forget, Kelly..." says Holly, "I want to meet Sarah after my shift!"
"Just come down to the studio..." says Kelly, "we'll be there for a couple more hours!"
As she leaves, Kelly overhears Ms. Lanning talking to an old man.
"Mrs. Pierpont wants to meet Sarah... now?" she asks.
"She's on her way..." says the man, "and she's not very happy!"
I literally cannot imagine what is going on here.
And in Funky Winkerbean, Holly has discovered that the only available copies of the last two comics she needs to complete her son's collection are owned by... I can hardly even bring myself to type this... Chester Hagglemore. Seriously, that's his actual name. Ironically, he's actually easygoing and generous. No, of course he isn't, because this is Funky Winkerbean where everything is terrible always.
So in preparation for meeting Chester "the chiseler" Hagglemore (yeah, he needed that nickname because his actual name being "Hagglemore" wasn't enough) Holly obtains "an original splash page featuring the Amazing Mister Sponge". She does this by just going to the writer and asking because she already knows him. So she arrives at Hagglemore's house, which is a mansion with Batman and Superman logos on the gates and presses the button for the intercom...
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-01.
"Hello?" says Holly. "Mr. Hagglemore... I'm Holly Winkerbean... we talked on the phone."
"I'm busy today, Mrs. Winkerbean..." says Chester. "Come back some other time."
"See this?" says Holly, holding up the splash page in front of the camera. "It's an Amazing Mister Sponge splash page."
She holds up a pair of scissors.
"See these?"
The gate opens.
So, they talked on the phone and presumably he agreed to see her, otherwise why would she be there? So he's just being a dick for no reason. But apparently she anticipated this and brought the scissors so she could threaten to destroy her own property if he didn't let her in. And that worked. I'm speechless.
But on the other hand, I ca't say enough about Carol and Jack in Apartment 3-G. They're amazing. Their conversation is basically a sequence of non-sequiturs and ambiguous insults. They're apparently a couple, but Carol's been away for three months and they haven't spoken at all in that time.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-30.
"I see you have a new bird with a broken wing." says Carol.
"You met Tommie?" says Jack.
"Yes, I've met Tommie. She insists she's not in love with you, Jack."
"Leave her be, Carol. She doesn't understand your games."
Does anyone? I certainly don't. I am enjoying it though.
Rex Morgan, 2014-06-02.
"Don't forget, Kelly..." says Holly, "I want to meet Sarah after my shift!"
"Just come down to the studio..." says Kelly, "we'll be there for a couple more hours!"
As she leaves, Kelly overhears Ms. Lanning talking to an old man.
"Mrs. Pierpont wants to meet Sarah... now?" she asks.
"She's on her way..." says the man, "and she's not very happy!"
I literally cannot imagine what is going on here.
And in Funky Winkerbean, Holly has discovered that the only available copies of the last two comics she needs to complete her son's collection are owned by... I can hardly even bring myself to type this... Chester Hagglemore. Seriously, that's his actual name. Ironically, he's actually easygoing and generous. No, of course he isn't, because this is Funky Winkerbean where everything is terrible always.
So in preparation for meeting Chester "the chiseler" Hagglemore (yeah, he needed that nickname because his actual name being "Hagglemore" wasn't enough) Holly obtains "an original splash page featuring the Amazing Mister Sponge". She does this by just going to the writer and asking because she already knows him. So she arrives at Hagglemore's house, which is a mansion with Batman and Superman logos on the gates and presses the button for the intercom...
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-01.
"Hello?" says Holly. "Mr. Hagglemore... I'm Holly Winkerbean... we talked on the phone."
"I'm busy today, Mrs. Winkerbean..." says Chester. "Come back some other time."
"See this?" says Holly, holding up the splash page in front of the camera. "It's an Amazing Mister Sponge splash page."
She holds up a pair of scissors.
"See these?"
The gate opens.
So, they talked on the phone and presumably he agreed to see her, otherwise why would she be there? So he's just being a dick for no reason. But apparently she anticipated this and brought the scissors so she could threaten to destroy her own property if he didn't let her in. And that worked. I'm speechless.
But on the other hand, I ca't say enough about Carol and Jack in Apartment 3-G. They're amazing. Their conversation is basically a sequence of non-sequiturs and ambiguous insults. They're apparently a couple, but Carol's been away for three months and they haven't spoken at all in that time.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-30.
"I see you have a new bird with a broken wing." says Carol.
"You met Tommie?" says Jack.
"Yes, I've met Tommie. She insists she's not in love with you, Jack."
"Leave her be, Carol. She doesn't understand your games."
Does anyone? I certainly don't. I am enjoying it though.
2014-05-26
Melodrama Monday: So tell me, how long did it take you to fall in love with Jack?
Well, as we saw last last week, all Tommy needed was for Mary Worth to tell him to redeem himself and for Wilbur to exert some of his immense influence in the sandwich community.
Mary Worth, 2014-05-20.
"I told Tommy he has our support... but we want him to try to do the right thing!" says Mary.
"Your encouragement AKA guilt trip seems to be working!" says Iris. "He's making an effort!"
Meanwhile...
"I'm going to interview for a job as a janitor!" thinks Tommy, remembering how the prison guards used to force him at gunpoint to try to mop the floors with some sort of weird broom. "I suppose it's familiar territory!"
I'd like to point out again that the only reason Iris or anyone else thought Tommy wasn't putting in an effort before is that she kept seeing him on his laptop and assumed he had spent all day wasting time. For all she (and we) know he spent all day looking at employment listings and sending in résumés. And the reason he got this interview was nothing to do with his effort or lack of it, it was entirely down to Jerry owing Wilbur a favour. But sure, let's pretend that the lesson here is that it's easy to find a job if you just put in some effort, even if you're a convicted criminal with no education or experience.
And of course Tommy did get the job — after all, Jerry knows he'd be nothing without Wilbur. No restaurant can survive in Santa Royale unless it gets in the Good Eats section of the local paper, and the only way you get in there is through Wilbur. But the drama isn't over, because apparently Tommy is not sufficiently enthusiastic about his low-paying, menial, night-shift job to suit his mother. No doubt Mary will have to step in and help him to realise how his poor attitude is holding him back and this will lead to him being promoted to assistant manager or something.
Speaking of new jobs, June has just started hers in Rex Morgan, and her new boss has demanded that in addition to the job she agreed to do she also has to get a PhD. This new job was supposed to be a way for her to cut back on her workload during her pregnancy.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-23.
"So, you'll keep your practice, teach for me, raise a family and get your doctorate?" asks Dr. Golden.
"Will the college pay for my doctorate?" asks June.
"Yes, every dime! Will you do it?"
"Yes, Dr. Golden, you have my commitment!"
So basically, June is crazy. Also there's some drama about Dr. Golden making all sorts of changes that the existing staff don't like, but since we don't know any of these people I'm just not that interested in it.
And since we're on the topic of people I don't know (Carol) or care about (Tommie), let's talk about Apartment 3-G. Remember the woman in yellow who showed up last week? Her name's Carol and she's totally insane.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-25.
Morning at Jack's place...
"Hello?! Who are you?!" demands Carol, gesticulating wildly.
"I'm Tommie Thompson," says Tommie cheerfully, "and you are?!"
"My name is Carol. So tell me, how long did it take you to fall in love with Jack?"
"I hope you're kidding, Carol. I respect Jack, but I'm not in love with him."
"I really get under your skin, don't I, Tommie! If you're not in love with Jack... why do you work like a dog for him?"
"You could say it's therapy."
"So that's what you two have in common!"
Now, that's a Sunday recap strip so it does skip a bit, but I encourage you to read the preceding week, because it doesn't actually make any more sense even with the extra context.
Mary Worth, 2014-05-20.
"I told Tommy he has our support... but we want him to try to do the right thing!" says Mary.
"Your encouragement AKA guilt trip seems to be working!" says Iris. "He's making an effort!"
Meanwhile...
"I'm going to interview for a job as a janitor!" thinks Tommy, remembering how the prison guards used to force him at gunpoint to try to mop the floors with some sort of weird broom. "I suppose it's familiar territory!"
I'd like to point out again that the only reason Iris or anyone else thought Tommy wasn't putting in an effort before is that she kept seeing him on his laptop and assumed he had spent all day wasting time. For all she (and we) know he spent all day looking at employment listings and sending in résumés. And the reason he got this interview was nothing to do with his effort or lack of it, it was entirely down to Jerry owing Wilbur a favour. But sure, let's pretend that the lesson here is that it's easy to find a job if you just put in some effort, even if you're a convicted criminal with no education or experience.
And of course Tommy did get the job — after all, Jerry knows he'd be nothing without Wilbur. No restaurant can survive in Santa Royale unless it gets in the Good Eats section of the local paper, and the only way you get in there is through Wilbur. But the drama isn't over, because apparently Tommy is not sufficiently enthusiastic about his low-paying, menial, night-shift job to suit his mother. No doubt Mary will have to step in and help him to realise how his poor attitude is holding him back and this will lead to him being promoted to assistant manager or something.
Speaking of new jobs, June has just started hers in Rex Morgan, and her new boss has demanded that in addition to the job she agreed to do she also has to get a PhD. This new job was supposed to be a way for her to cut back on her workload during her pregnancy.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-23.
"So, you'll keep your practice, teach for me, raise a family and get your doctorate?" asks Dr. Golden.
"Will the college pay for my doctorate?" asks June.
"Yes, every dime! Will you do it?"
"Yes, Dr. Golden, you have my commitment!"
So basically, June is crazy. Also there's some drama about Dr. Golden making all sorts of changes that the existing staff don't like, but since we don't know any of these people I'm just not that interested in it.
And since we're on the topic of people I don't know (Carol) or care about (Tommie), let's talk about Apartment 3-G. Remember the woman in yellow who showed up last week? Her name's Carol and she's totally insane.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-25.
Morning at Jack's place...
"Hello?! Who are you?!" demands Carol, gesticulating wildly.
"I'm Tommie Thompson," says Tommie cheerfully, "and you are?!"
"My name is Carol. So tell me, how long did it take you to fall in love with Jack?"
"I hope you're kidding, Carol. I respect Jack, but I'm not in love with him."
"I really get under your skin, don't I, Tommie! If you're not in love with Jack... why do you work like a dog for him?"
"You could say it's therapy."
"So that's what you two have in common!"
Now, that's a Sunday recap strip so it does skip a bit, but I encourage you to read the preceding week, because it doesn't actually make any more sense even with the extra context.
2014-05-19
Melodrama Monday: Redeem yourself!
Rex Morgan shifted focus this week onto June's new job, which has been pretty dull so far, but before that June had spoken to Kelly and told her to play along with Sarah for the moment. Presumably some comeuppance is in store for Sarah, but June's given no indication so far of what it might be.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-14.
"That took a long time!" says Sarah, accusingly. "What were you and mommy talking about?"
"We were talking about you..." says Kelly. "and how amazingly talented you are!"
"Really?" asks Sarah. "you were?"
"Absolutely!" says Kelly. "Now let's get to work, shall we?"
So I guess Sarah was totally willing to buy that June pulled Kelly aside to have a quick chat about how talented she is. Also, how great is this panel?
And in Apartment 3-G, Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Let's call it a farm. In addition to the deer she is still apparently keeping in the house she's now adopted a horse (a mare she's named Mary — I guess Lily should be glad she didn't get Deirdre). I guess what it takes to get over the loss of a fiancé is adopting every animal you find.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-19.
Morning at Jack's place...
"Hello?!" says a woman in yellow. "Who are you and what are you doing here?!"
"I'm Tommie Thompson — I work here. And you are?"
"Jack and I are old friends. Really good old friends!"
"And I still don't know your name." says Tommie.
Is this woman "really good friends" with Jack in the way that Dr Jeff is "good friends" with Mary Worth? It would help if we could tell how old she is, but since she was drawn by Frank Bolle that's impossible. It also makes it impossible to tell how to read the dialogue. Is she angry to find Tommie here? Shocked? Pleased? There's just no way of knowing. We also can't read Tommie's reaction here. Is she being friendly, or confrontational? It could go either way.
Speaking of Mary Worth, Tommy has decided that he will apply for the job of sandwich shop janitor.
Mary Worth, 2014-05-19.
The next day, when Iris pays a visit to Mary...
"My son's applying for a job at Jerry's sandwich shop!" says Iris.
"That's great, Iris!" says Mary. "I'm glad to see he found motivation!"
"He told me you had something to do with that!" says Iris. "If you did... thank you!"
Yes, it's all down to Mary Worth.
See? Without Mary, Tommy would still be a lazy slacker sitting at home all day. Maybe next she could help Iris get a job too.
And this last week in Luann has just been her teacher, Mr. Fogarty, talking about how he can't wait to retire because he has always hated being a teacher, has never even tried to do a good job and hates his students.
Luann, 2014-05-19.
"Have you told your students that you're retiring, Mr. Fogarty?" asks Miss Phelps.
"Yes." says Mr. Fogarty. "But they didn't listen, as usual —"
He opens the door and steps into the classroom.
"SURPRISE!" yell Delta, Bernice and Gunther.
A banner reading "FAREWELL MR. FOGARTY!" is hanging off to one side. Tiffany, Luann and Knute are also there.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-14.
"That took a long time!" says Sarah, accusingly. "What were you and mommy talking about?"
"We were talking about you..." says Kelly. "and how amazingly talented you are!"
"Really?" asks Sarah. "you were?"
"Absolutely!" says Kelly. "Now let's get to work, shall we?"
So I guess Sarah was totally willing to buy that June pulled Kelly aside to have a quick chat about how talented she is. Also, how great is this panel?
 |
| Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-15. |
And in Apartment 3-G, Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Let's call it a farm. In addition to the deer she is still apparently keeping in the house she's now adopted a horse (a mare she's named Mary — I guess Lily should be glad she didn't get Deirdre). I guess what it takes to get over the loss of a fiancé is adopting every animal you find.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-19.
Morning at Jack's place...
"Hello?!" says a woman in yellow. "Who are you and what are you doing here?!"
"I'm Tommie Thompson — I work here. And you are?"
"Jack and I are old friends. Really good old friends!"
"And I still don't know your name." says Tommie.
Is this woman "really good friends" with Jack in the way that Dr Jeff is "good friends" with Mary Worth? It would help if we could tell how old she is, but since she was drawn by Frank Bolle that's impossible. It also makes it impossible to tell how to read the dialogue. Is she angry to find Tommie here? Shocked? Pleased? There's just no way of knowing. We also can't read Tommie's reaction here. Is she being friendly, or confrontational? It could go either way.
Speaking of Mary Worth, Tommy has decided that he will apply for the job of sandwich shop janitor.
Mary Worth, 2014-05-19.
The next day, when Iris pays a visit to Mary...
"My son's applying for a job at Jerry's sandwich shop!" says Iris.
"That's great, Iris!" says Mary. "I'm glad to see he found motivation!"
"He told me you had something to do with that!" says Iris. "If you did... thank you!"
Yes, it's all down to Mary Worth.
 |
| Mary Worth, 2014-05-16. |
 |
| Mary Worth, 2014-05-18. |
And this last week in Luann has just been her teacher, Mr. Fogarty, talking about how he can't wait to retire because he has always hated being a teacher, has never even tried to do a good job and hates his students.
Luann, 2014-05-19.
"Have you told your students that you're retiring, Mr. Fogarty?" asks Miss Phelps.
"Yes." says Mr. Fogarty. "But they didn't listen, as usual —"
He opens the door and steps into the classroom.
"SURPRISE!" yell Delta, Bernice and Gunther.
A banner reading "FAREWELL MR. FOGARTY!" is hanging off to one side. Tiffany, Luann and Knute are also there.
2014-05-12
Melodrama Monday: All the thrills of online shopping
Literally nothing has happened in Apartment 3-G or Mary Worth this week and it's just been an all-round uneventful week in the soaps. All I'm really left with for this Monday is Funky Winkerbean, so brace yourself for disappointment.
Last Monday, Holly put a bid on a comic on eBay, and was feeling pretty pleased with herself until John and Harry at Komix Korner informed her that someone would just put a bid in at the last minute to beat her.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-05-09.
Holly is sitting at her computer.
"In less than two minutes Starbuck Jones #36 will be mine!" she says to no one. "I should get an email ping if anyone outbids me."
PING! PING! PING! PING! PING! goes her computer.
"Uh-oh...!" she says.
But then she won the auction anyway. No idea how much she ended up spending, but she had to raise her bid over 30 times, so I'm guessing it's gone a bit above the $10 she was hoping to spend.
But don't worry, the exciting "buying comics online" story isn't over yet, she still has several other issues to find! I don't think the exact number has even been revealed, so this could drag on for the rest of the year, easily. I don't know about you, but I'm so excited I can hardly keep my eyes open.
Last Monday, Holly put a bid on a comic on eBay, and was feeling pretty pleased with herself until John and Harry at Komix Korner informed her that someone would just put a bid in at the last minute to beat her.
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-05-09.
Holly is sitting at her computer.
"In less than two minutes Starbuck Jones #36 will be mine!" she says to no one. "I should get an email ping if anyone outbids me."
PING! PING! PING! PING! PING! goes her computer.
"Uh-oh...!" she says.
But then she won the auction anyway. No idea how much she ended up spending, but she had to raise her bid over 30 times, so I'm guessing it's gone a bit above the $10 she was hoping to spend.
But don't worry, the exciting "buying comics online" story isn't over yet, she still has several other issues to find! I don't think the exact number has even been revealed, so this could drag on for the rest of the year, easily. I don't know about you, but I'm so excited I can hardly keep my eyes open.
2014-05-05
Melodrama Monday: Realistic characters and plots
Rex Morgan has finally discovered that his daughter, Sarah, is blackmailing her babysitter, and spent the last week explaining it to June, who did not take the news well. But Rex has a cunning plan to teach Sarah a "life lesson". We don't know what the plan is yet, and I don't have high expectations. In fact, I'm betting that Sarah's going to somehow turn this around on them, because she is way sneakier than her parents.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-05.
"Hi Kelly..." says June. "Thanks for staying with Sarah today!"
"It's OK, Mrs. Morgan, I'm glad to do it!" says Kelly, as yet unaware that June knows about the blackmail. "Ms. Lanning is waiting for us! She has everything set up in Sarah's studio!"
"You go ahead, Sarah!" says June. "I need to pay Kelly for her time!"
Sarah gives Kelly a calculating look. Does she know something's up? Does she suspect that June is onto her scheme?
And in Mary Worth, Iris and Wilbur are back together and have returned to the scene of their last attempted date, Jerry's Sandwich Shop. Wilbur is personal friends with Jerry. Only the finest sandwiches for Wilbur. And Jerry pays a visit to Wilbur's table to make sure that everything is satisfactory. After all, Wilbur is a big wheel at the newspaper and Jerry owes his success to Wilbur. It's not easy to get into the Best Eats column of a local newspaper without a man on the inside. In fact, Jerry's been so successful that he may need to hire more staff! Anyone see where this is going?
Mary Worth, 2014-05-02.
"My janitor is leaving soon!" says Jerry with a sly wink. "I'll have to ask the other staff to pick up the slack until I rehire!"
Wilbur looks bored.
"What does he do?" asks Iris, apparently not familiar with the word "janitor".
"Simple cleanup..." says Jerry, pausing to think. "Floors, restroom, sidewalk... and windows, too!"
Wilbur and Iris turn to look at each other and smile.
"We may be able to suggest someone to consider for that!" says Wilbur.
It's Tommy. In case anyone had trouble following this lightning-paced plot there's a helpful image of Tommy's face in a thought bubble shared by Iris and Wilbur.
Meanwhile, the other Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Ranch? Whatever it is. He has horses there. And Jack has spent the week making ambiguous comments that could be compliments (or sexual harassment) but turn out not to be because this is Apartment 3-G. Oh, and Aristotle Papagoras is there too.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-05.
Later that evening...
"I wish I could stay and talk, but Lily and I are tired." says Tommie.
"I told you I work her hard, Ari." says Jack.
The two men share a sly smile.
"Keep it up, Tommie —" says Aristotle. "You look great!"
"Thanks, professor," says Tommie, "and good night to you and Jack."
Lily the deer stands in the doorway staring into the house.
Oh yeah, she still has the deer and is still treating it like a pet. And apparently exhausting manual labour has done wonders for her appearance. Either that or Aristotle was making a mean joke. Could go either way.
And now that prom night is over in Luann it seems like it's never going to be mentioned again and we're straight back to business as usual.
Luann, 2014-05-05.
"Since you're all seniors, your final essay will be 'What High School Has Meanto To Me'" says Mr. Fogarty.
"Oooo!" says Delta.
"Great topic, Mr. Fogarty!" says Luann.
"So original!!" says Bernice.
"I can't wait to start!!" says Knute.
And not one of them is being sarcastic. Seriously.
"The word 'nothing' counts as an essay, right?" says Tiffany.
Why can't this comic just be about Tiffany?
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-05.
"Hi Kelly..." says June. "Thanks for staying with Sarah today!"
"It's OK, Mrs. Morgan, I'm glad to do it!" says Kelly, as yet unaware that June knows about the blackmail. "Ms. Lanning is waiting for us! She has everything set up in Sarah's studio!"
"You go ahead, Sarah!" says June. "I need to pay Kelly for her time!"
Sarah gives Kelly a calculating look. Does she know something's up? Does she suspect that June is onto her scheme?
And in Mary Worth, Iris and Wilbur are back together and have returned to the scene of their last attempted date, Jerry's Sandwich Shop. Wilbur is personal friends with Jerry. Only the finest sandwiches for Wilbur. And Jerry pays a visit to Wilbur's table to make sure that everything is satisfactory. After all, Wilbur is a big wheel at the newspaper and Jerry owes his success to Wilbur. It's not easy to get into the Best Eats column of a local newspaper without a man on the inside. In fact, Jerry's been so successful that he may need to hire more staff! Anyone see where this is going?
Mary Worth, 2014-05-02.
"My janitor is leaving soon!" says Jerry with a sly wink. "I'll have to ask the other staff to pick up the slack until I rehire!"
Wilbur looks bored.
"What does he do?" asks Iris, apparently not familiar with the word "janitor".
"Simple cleanup..." says Jerry, pausing to think. "Floors, restroom, sidewalk... and windows, too!"
Wilbur and Iris turn to look at each other and smile.
"We may be able to suggest someone to consider for that!" says Wilbur.
It's Tommy. In case anyone had trouble following this lightning-paced plot there's a helpful image of Tommy's face in a thought bubble shared by Iris and Wilbur.
Meanwhile, the other Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Ranch? Whatever it is. He has horses there. And Jack has spent the week making ambiguous comments that could be compliments (or sexual harassment) but turn out not to be because this is Apartment 3-G. Oh, and Aristotle Papagoras is there too.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-05.
Later that evening...
"I wish I could stay and talk, but Lily and I are tired." says Tommie.
"I told you I work her hard, Ari." says Jack.
The two men share a sly smile.
"Keep it up, Tommie —" says Aristotle. "You look great!"
"Thanks, professor," says Tommie, "and good night to you and Jack."
Lily the deer stands in the doorway staring into the house.
Oh yeah, she still has the deer and is still treating it like a pet. And apparently exhausting manual labour has done wonders for her appearance. Either that or Aristotle was making a mean joke. Could go either way.
And now that prom night is over in Luann it seems like it's never going to be mentioned again and we're straight back to business as usual.
Luann, 2014-05-05.
"Since you're all seniors, your final essay will be 'What High School Has Meanto To Me'" says Mr. Fogarty.
"Oooo!" says Delta.
"Great topic, Mr. Fogarty!" says Luann.
"So original!!" says Bernice.
"I can't wait to start!!" says Knute.
And not one of them is being sarcastic. Seriously.
"The word 'nothing' counts as an essay, right?" says Tiffany.
Why can't this comic just be about Tiffany?
2014-04-29
Melodrama Monday: Lost in the Wilderness
I haven't talked about Luann recently, and you may think that that's because it's terrible and I hate it, but you'd be totally wrong. It is and I do, but that's more a reason for me to want to talk about it. It's actually because it hasn't been particularly bad lately. It hasn't been good, obviously, it's just that not much of anything at all has happened. But this week that changed.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
2014-04-14
Melodrama Monday: Tommy and Tommie
Mary Worth, 2014-04-14.
Several weeks later...
"Tommy?" says Iris, arriving home. "Have you been on the couch all day"
"Of course not!" says Tommy happily. "I'm just taking a break from my job search. It's not easy looking for work!"
The speed with which he slams his laptop closed tells more than we want to know about what he was doing during that break.
">Sigh<" thinks Iris. "At least you're not doing drugs."
I'm with Iris on this one. You have a bedroom Tommy, watch your porn in there, not on the couch. And lock the door for god's sake.
In Apartment 3-G meanwhile, Tommie refused to leave Lily the deer with Jack Riley, suspecting that the vet would simply euthanise the fawn as soon as she drove away.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-11.
Tommie drives away and...
"My heart is pounding and my hands are trembling!" thinks Tommie. "Slow down — you're losing control!"
In the back seat of the car, Lily bleats.
"It's okay, Lily." says Tommie maniacally. "Don't be afraid. I'll take care of you."
Then she checked into a motel and snuck the deer into her room. I really hope that this is just the beginning of a long descent into madness.
Several weeks later...
"Tommy?" says Iris, arriving home. "Have you been on the couch all day"
"Of course not!" says Tommy happily. "I'm just taking a break from my job search. It's not easy looking for work!"
The speed with which he slams his laptop closed tells more than we want to know about what he was doing during that break.
">Sigh<" thinks Iris. "At least you're not doing drugs."
I'm with Iris on this one. You have a bedroom Tommy, watch your porn in there, not on the couch. And lock the door for god's sake.
In Apartment 3-G meanwhile, Tommie refused to leave Lily the deer with Jack Riley, suspecting that the vet would simply euthanise the fawn as soon as she drove away.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-11.
Tommie drives away and...
"My heart is pounding and my hands are trembling!" thinks Tommie. "Slow down — you're losing control!"
In the back seat of the car, Lily bleats.
"It's okay, Lily." says Tommie maniacally. "Don't be afraid. I'll take care of you."
Then she checked into a motel and snuck the deer into her room. I really hope that this is just the beginning of a long descent into madness.
2014-04-07
Melodrama Monday: Lazy Idiots and Lunacy
Let me tell you about Safe Havens. The protagonist is Samantha, a geneticist. Only when I say "geneticist" I actually mean "wizard". See, she can turn herself and her friends into different animals. She has two dodos that were cloned or something and they sometimes turn into humans for funsies. Her cat sometimes turns into a human as well.
As well as being a geneticist, Samantha is also a RA at the university, and one justification for turning the cat into a human was so that the cat could enrol in classes and eventually take over for her as RA. Can't see any problems with that plan. But then the cat unexpectedly turned back into a cat. This was a while ago. Now it turns out that the merfolk — did I mention the merfolk? One of Sam's friends, Remora, is a mermaid — the merfolk were responsible for the cat being returned to its natural state.
Safe Havens, 2014-04-07.
"Samantha?" says Remora. "The merfolk sent a message that complains of your experiments with our DNA... and that by using it to extend Palmtop's lifespan you 'violated intellectual property rights.'"
"Fine." says Samantha, crossing her arms. "I won't do it again."
The two observe a cloud of bubbles rising from the toilet.
"What now?" demands Samantha.
"They've already reverted her to her 'default setting.'" says Remora with alarm.
"And that's why she changed back into a cat???" screams Samantha.
Continued!
Did I mention that the cat, Palmtop, is actually the clone of a dog named Laptop who is now permanently a human and is married to a normal guy? Or that Remora's husband and son travel everywhere by trapeze, which is never shown to be attached to anything? Or the magic ring Samantha has that lets use mirrors to talk to her dead grandmother?
But you know what the most astounding thing is? This isn't Bill Holbrook's weirdest comic. He writes three daily strips and this one's about half way between the other two. You're not ready for Kevin & Kell. No one is.
So, you remember how Tommie had that baby deer living with them in Apartment 3-G? Well, when I last caught you up she had just decided to drive off to see this vet, Jack Riley, whom she assumed would be willing to help her. Well, she might end up being disappointed but I'm not.
After demanding that Tommie move her car, call him Jack, and help shoe a colt they finally got around to the reason she was there.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-05.
"Don't tell me you're one of those idiot animal lovers who try to save everything ?!" asks Jack, pointing at Tommie's face.
"My little fawn isn't a 'thing,' Jack!" says Tommie indignantly. "Her mother was dead in the road — what could I do?"
"That's easy Tommie —" says Jack resignedly. "Walk away!"
It's about time someone called her out on how dumb it was to keep this deer in the flat.
To the other Tommy now, in Mary Worth. Fresh out of jail and back in Santa Royale, Tommy has been looking for a job for at least two days now.
Mary Worth, 2014-04-07.
As Iris and Wilbur finish their lunch...
"Might as well just say it..." thinks Wilbur. And surprisingly it's not about sandwiches.
"Iris..." he says, "be careful. Don't let Tommy take advantage of you."
"What?" demands Iris, angrily.
"You give him money out of pocket..." says Wilbur. "You both live off your savings... and he hasn't found a job yet! This can easily go on forever if you let it!"
Well, Wilbur's right. If Tommy's not employed by the end of the week then he's obviously not trying and should be kicked out to fend for himself. I'm sure he wouldn't be tempted to return to crime and drugs then!
As well as being a geneticist, Samantha is also a RA at the university, and one justification for turning the cat into a human was so that the cat could enrol in classes and eventually take over for her as RA. Can't see any problems with that plan. But then the cat unexpectedly turned back into a cat. This was a while ago. Now it turns out that the merfolk — did I mention the merfolk? One of Sam's friends, Remora, is a mermaid — the merfolk were responsible for the cat being returned to its natural state.
Safe Havens, 2014-04-07.
"Samantha?" says Remora. "The merfolk sent a message that complains of your experiments with our DNA... and that by using it to extend Palmtop's lifespan you 'violated intellectual property rights.'"
"Fine." says Samantha, crossing her arms. "I won't do it again."
The two observe a cloud of bubbles rising from the toilet.
"What now?" demands Samantha.
"They've already reverted her to her 'default setting.'" says Remora with alarm.
"And that's why she changed back into a cat???" screams Samantha.
Continued!
Did I mention that the cat, Palmtop, is actually the clone of a dog named Laptop who is now permanently a human and is married to a normal guy? Or that Remora's husband and son travel everywhere by trapeze, which is never shown to be attached to anything? Or the magic ring Samantha has that lets use mirrors to talk to her dead grandmother?
But you know what the most astounding thing is? This isn't Bill Holbrook's weirdest comic. He writes three daily strips and this one's about half way between the other two. You're not ready for Kevin & Kell. No one is.
So, you remember how Tommie had that baby deer living with them in Apartment 3-G? Well, when I last caught you up she had just decided to drive off to see this vet, Jack Riley, whom she assumed would be willing to help her. Well, she might end up being disappointed but I'm not.
After demanding that Tommie move her car, call him Jack, and help shoe a colt they finally got around to the reason she was there.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-05.
"Don't tell me you're one of those idiot animal lovers who try to save everything ?!" asks Jack, pointing at Tommie's face.
"My little fawn isn't a 'thing,' Jack!" says Tommie indignantly. "Her mother was dead in the road — what could I do?"
"That's easy Tommie —" says Jack resignedly. "Walk away!"
It's about time someone called her out on how dumb it was to keep this deer in the flat.
To the other Tommy now, in Mary Worth. Fresh out of jail and back in Santa Royale, Tommy has been looking for a job for at least two days now.
Mary Worth, 2014-04-07.
As Iris and Wilbur finish their lunch...
"Might as well just say it..." thinks Wilbur. And surprisingly it's not about sandwiches.
"Iris..." he says, "be careful. Don't let Tommy take advantage of you."
"What?" demands Iris, angrily.
"You give him money out of pocket..." says Wilbur. "You both live off your savings... and he hasn't found a job yet! This can easily go on forever if you let it!"
Well, Wilbur's right. If Tommy's not employed by the end of the week then he's obviously not trying and should be kicked out to fend for himself. I'm sure he wouldn't be tempted to return to crime and drugs then!
2014-03-31
Melodrama Monday: People who love to hear themselves talk
Tommie in Apartment 3-G just spent the entire week telling Lu Ann that she found a vet who might be willing to take the deer off her hands and completely failed to mention what exactly she thinks anyone would want with an orphaned deer that's now spent half its life living in a New York City apartment. She hasn't actually spoken to this vet either, she's just assuming that it will all work out.
"Tommie," asks Lu Ann, "did you get an appointment for Lily?"
"Not yet, Lu Ann." says Tommie. "I've called Jack Riley, but no one answers. I made another call, Lu Ann. And this time I got an answer."
"From Jack Riley?" asks Lu Ann, who apparently wasn't paying attention.
"From the town clerk in Happiness Falls!" says Tommie.
"That's the little burg where Jack Riley lives, Lu Ann." they both say in eerie unison.
"How did the town clerk help, Tommie?" asks Lu Ann.
"She gave me the lowdown on Jack Riley." says Tommie, giving a thumbs-up. "It seems he's the original cranky guy with a heart of gold."
"Maybe it's true, Tommie!" says Lu Ann, again clearly not paying attention.
So with no real reason to suppose that Jack Riley will take the deer or do anything to help her at all, Tommie packed the car, took the deer and drove to Happiness Falls.
In Judge Parker, Alan and Katherine, having accidentally brought down a surveillance drone, decided it wasn't really a priority and went to meet April's father.
"It's an honor to meet you, Alan!" says Abbott. "I thoroughly enjoyed 'The Chambers Affair'!"
"That's good to hear, Abbott!" says Alan. "We're writing the screenplay now!"
"April mentioned that! If it's half as good as the book..." says Abbott, "...you'll take Hollywood by storm!"
Alan basks in the absurd praise.
He did eventually get around to telling Abbott about the drone, but he has his priorities. First you have to tell him you love his book, then you can move on to other matters.
This week in Funky Winkerbean Holly made an off-hand remark about comic books being a boy thing and Donna took that as an opportunity to tell a boring story.
"Comic books aren't solely a guys' domain, Holly." says Donna. "After all, you're talking to the gal who once bore the sobriquet of the 'Eliminator.'"
Cut to sepia-toned flashback.
"The 'Eliminator' is one of the coolest guys on the planet." says a slack-jawed boy as he watches Donna, disguised in a ridiculous helmet, playing an arcade machine.
"Heh, heh..." thinks Donna. "Little do they know."
This went on for another four days, believe it or not, and in the end the message seems to be "Comics aren't just for boys. I know, because I used to play video games wearing a disguise so that no one would know I was a girl." I'm really not sure how that evidence was supposed to support that point.
"Tommie," asks Lu Ann, "did you get an appointment for Lily?"
"Not yet, Lu Ann." says Tommie. "I've called Jack Riley, but no one answers. I made another call, Lu Ann. And this time I got an answer."
"From Jack Riley?" asks Lu Ann, who apparently wasn't paying attention.
"From the town clerk in Happiness Falls!" says Tommie.
"That's the little burg where Jack Riley lives, Lu Ann." they both say in eerie unison.
"How did the town clerk help, Tommie?" asks Lu Ann.
"She gave me the lowdown on Jack Riley." says Tommie, giving a thumbs-up. "It seems he's the original cranky guy with a heart of gold."
"Maybe it's true, Tommie!" says Lu Ann, again clearly not paying attention.
So with no real reason to suppose that Jack Riley will take the deer or do anything to help her at all, Tommie packed the car, took the deer and drove to Happiness Falls.
In Judge Parker, Alan and Katherine, having accidentally brought down a surveillance drone, decided it wasn't really a priority and went to meet April's father.
"It's an honor to meet you, Alan!" says Abbott. "I thoroughly enjoyed 'The Chambers Affair'!"
"That's good to hear, Abbott!" says Alan. "We're writing the screenplay now!"
"April mentioned that! If it's half as good as the book..." says Abbott, "...you'll take Hollywood by storm!"
Alan basks in the absurd praise.
He did eventually get around to telling Abbott about the drone, but he has his priorities. First you have to tell him you love his book, then you can move on to other matters.
This week in Funky Winkerbean Holly made an off-hand remark about comic books being a boy thing and Donna took that as an opportunity to tell a boring story.
"Comic books aren't solely a guys' domain, Holly." says Donna. "After all, you're talking to the gal who once bore the sobriquet of the 'Eliminator.'"
Cut to sepia-toned flashback.
"The 'Eliminator' is one of the coolest guys on the planet." says a slack-jawed boy as he watches Donna, disguised in a ridiculous helmet, playing an arcade machine.
"Heh, heh..." thinks Donna. "Little do they know."
This went on for another four days, believe it or not, and in the end the message seems to be "Comics aren't just for boys. I know, because I used to play video games wearing a disguise so that no one would know I was a girl." I'm really not sure how that evidence was supposed to support that point.
2014-03-24
Melodrama Monday: Comics About Comics
Mary Worth has left us on a cliffhanger today — did Tommy fall back into old habits; is he currently sleeping off a hangover (or worse), or is he just tired? This could be interesting, but right now we just have to wait.
So instead let's talk about the Batiukiverse (a term I just came up with to describe the world of Funky Winkerbean, Crankshaft and John Darling). Did you know that Tom Batiuk likes comic books? He's often done comic book and super hero parodies and the comic shop is one of the key locations in Funky Winkerbean, but it seems like he's now turning both his current comics into stories of people buying and reading comic books.
For a while now, Holly in Funky Winkerbean has been attempting to help her son Cory complete his comic book collection while he's serving overseas in the military, but now Jeff in Crankshaft has spent the last week looking through his old comic book collection in the attic and has just decided to try to find one he's missing on eBay.
So that's what Batiuk's comics are about now. People finding, buying and reading old comic books. It's just that from here on out.
"Hey, donna." says Holly, smirking.
"Hi, Holly..." says Donna with a smirk. "I'm just waiting for Crazy to get off work upstairs at the Komix Korner. Speaking of which, Crazy told me all about the comic book quest you're on for Cory."
"Yeah..." says Holly, "I suppose it's my way of getting in touch with my 'Y' chromosome."
The two exchange knowing smirks.
"I could never find the issue of 'Action Comics' that contained the second part of the 'Congorilla' story in this comic book." says Jeff sadly, to no one. "I've spent my whole life wondering how it ended, and then it hit me... eBay!"
He smiles as he sits down at his computer, unaware as yet that the chances off finding a specific, obscure issue of an old comic book for sale at a reasonable price are practically non-existent.
So instead let's talk about the Batiukiverse (a term I just came up with to describe the world of Funky Winkerbean, Crankshaft and John Darling). Did you know that Tom Batiuk likes comic books? He's often done comic book and super hero parodies and the comic shop is one of the key locations in Funky Winkerbean, but it seems like he's now turning both his current comics into stories of people buying and reading comic books.
For a while now, Holly in Funky Winkerbean has been attempting to help her son Cory complete his comic book collection while he's serving overseas in the military, but now Jeff in Crankshaft has spent the last week looking through his old comic book collection in the attic and has just decided to try to find one he's missing on eBay.
So that's what Batiuk's comics are about now. People finding, buying and reading old comic books. It's just that from here on out.
"Hey, donna." says Holly, smirking.
"Hi, Holly..." says Donna with a smirk. "I'm just waiting for Crazy to get off work upstairs at the Komix Korner. Speaking of which, Crazy told me all about the comic book quest you're on for Cory."
"Yeah..." says Holly, "I suppose it's my way of getting in touch with my 'Y' chromosome."
The two exchange knowing smirks.
"I could never find the issue of 'Action Comics' that contained the second part of the 'Congorilla' story in this comic book." says Jeff sadly, to no one. "I've spent my whole life wondering how it ended, and then it hit me... eBay!"
He smiles as he sits down at his computer, unaware as yet that the chances off finding a specific, obscure issue of an old comic book for sale at a reasonable price are practically non-existent.
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