Melodrama Monday: Out of touch with reality

Funky Winkerbean, 2014-07-08.

"Crazy Harry and I are going to Comic-Con in San Diego..." says John, smirking. "Why don't you come with us? If you can't find Starbuck Jones #115 at Comic-Con, it can't be found."
"Don't you have to get tickets way in advance?" asked Holly.
"No, you can just show up on the day, it's fine!" replied John.
"You're right, John..." said Holly. "In fact, I probably wouldn't have to settle for a moldy reading copy... In fact, I could probably find a near mint copy... or even a mint copy... or a slabbed copy graded ten!!"
"Whoa!" says Harry, backing away and holding his hands up as though to defend himself. "Pump the breaks, Holly."

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The whole issue of just going to Comic-Con on a whim aside, why the fuck is Holly even talking about getting a slabbed copy? She got a slabbed copy of the last issue she was looking for and immediately unsealed it.

Panel from Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-06.

If she were doing it to give comic collectors heart attacks that would be funny, but since this is Funky Winkerbean it should go without saying that nothing funny is happening. No, she "just [wants her] son to be able to read it". Keep in mind that she is collecting these comics for her son, and we have no idea whether he even wants to read it. He may in fact have preferred the slabbed copy. Or at least might have wanted to open it up himself.

I think collecting comic books is a dumb waste of money and if a real live person with more money than they knew what to do with bought a rare comic and burned it, that wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but this does. This is infuriating.

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Foob, 2014-07-10.

Saint Michael and Lizardbreath are playing badminton in the back yard. Lynn comes out of the house.
"What's all the noise out here?" she asks, grumpily.
"Michael hit the birdie onto the roof, an' now it's stuck up there." says Lizardbreath.
"Why don't you use another one? I gave you six! Where are they?" demands Lynn.
They're all on the roof.

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Goddamn kids, always creating minor inconveniences for their eternally suffering parents! Sometimes it just makes you want to lock them outside in the snow!

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Apartment 3-G actually spent the entire week on having Tommie tricking Tina into thinking Lily was a baby and not a deer, which Carol found hilarious.

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Apartment 3-G, 2014-07-12.

Tina drives off in a cloud of dust...
"Giggle-snort-guffaw!" says Carol, looking dazed, or possibly drugged. "Oh, Tommie, I haven't laughed like this in ages!!"
"It was pretty funny, Carol." says Tommie, tilting her head like a confused puppy. "And kind of mean."
"Tina deserved it, Tommie. And by the way, you have a great poker face!"
"Thanks. My roommates think I'm the funny one."

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No, Tommie. No they don't. No one thinks that.

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And Mary Worth's prophet of the Lord, Olive, has been taken by her parents to the hospital to have a doctor take a look at the cyst on her torso.

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Mary Worth, 2014-07-14.

Olive is startled by Dr. Kapuht when he enters the room.
This is understandable as the Doctor is making arcane gestures and glaring and is surrounded by a golden halo of crackling energy. Also, the corridor behind him is pitch black, and for just a moment he had a moustache, but it vanished.
"Gasp!" says Olive.
"Olive... what's wrong?" asks the holy one's father.
"Dr. Kapuht, I'm sorry about my daughter." says the prophet's mother. "She's scared."
"Yes. Of course." says Kapuht, menacingly.

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OK, I'm pretty sure that doctor is Satan.

Panel from Mary Worth, 2014-07-14.