I've noticed recently that not only is Dennis the Menace decidedly un-menacing, but the kids from The Family Circus may actually have the edge on him, and when you're being out-menaced by the Keanes, you've really lost all claim to the title. So I thought I'd do a quick comparison of the last week's panels.
Thursday, 2014-04-17.
Dennis the Menace.
"Eatin' your cookies and changin' channels is the only exercise Mr. Wilson gets." says Dennis to Mrs. Wilson. Mr Wilson steadfastly ignores him and continues channel-surfing.
Family Circus.
The tablecloth has a large chunk cut out of it and a pair of scissors lie on the floor nearby.
"Maybe this'll just be one of those things we'll look back on and laugh." squawks Billy as Thel drags him out of the room.
OK, Billy has this one in the bag, hands down. Deliberately damaging the tablecloth for no apparent reason is far more menacing than just making a mildly inappropriate comment about Mr. Wilson's health.
Friday, 2014-04-18.
Dennis the Menace.
"What am I doin' wrong, dad?" asks Dennis, trying unsuccessfully to kick a football. "My punts look more like bunts."
Henry observes contemplatively.
Family Circus.
"I sure am glad PJ is still the size of my hug." says Dolly.
Let's call this one a draw. There's no menace in either one.
Saturday, 2014-04-19.
Dennis the Menace.
Alice points accusingly at an empty bowl.
"I didn't throw the carrots away, mom." says Dennis. "I put them outside for the Easter Bunny."
Family Circus.
Water covers the bathroom floor. A dispirited Bil stands over the toilet with plunger in hand.
"If it's easier, you could just buy me ANOTHER little ball to play with." says Jeffy.
OK, Dennis is clearly supposed to have made up an excuse for not eating his carrots, but it's a very cute excuse, so that really mitigates it a lot. And even if it didn't, we once again have a Keane child doing some actual damage for no apparent reason, so it has to go to the Keanes again.
Monday, 2014-04-21.
Dennis the Menace.
Henry steps out of the car, which he has just reversed into a signpost. Dennis is in the back seat.
"It's gonna be hard to blame this one on the post." says Dennis.
Family Circus.
Dolly and Jeffy examine their Easter eggs.
"The East Bunny must have a lot of chickens workin' for him." says Dolly.
I'm almost tempted to give this one to the Keanes as well, just for how well Dennis is reacting to the car crash, and because Jeffy looks slightly disappointed in his egg, but let's just call it a draw again.
Tuesday, 2014-04-22.
Dennis the Menace.
"If anyone knows who threw this eraser, raise your hand." says the teacher.
All the students raise their hands except for Dennis, who tries to act casual.
Family Circus.
"The wastebasket is full." says Jeffy. "Should I empty it or just get a new one?"
Well, Dennis is the clear winner this time. Jeffy's just an idiot.
Wednesday, 2014-04-23.
Dennis the Menace.
"Umm..." sighs Dennis, smelling Mrs. Wilson's freshly-baked biscuits. "Now this is how a kitchen should smell."
Family Circus.
Billy is doing his homework. Thel is watching.
"It's no fair." says Billy. "There's way more history to learn now than there was when you and daddy were kids."
Billy's implying that his parents are old, but presumably not on purpose. Dennis, on the other hand, is clearly paying Mrs. Wilson a compliment, but possibly just because he wants some biscuits. There's very little chance of her not giving them to him anyway though so it's fairly irrelevant. I'm just going to call this one a draw as well.
And so the final scores are two to one. Neither is particularly menacing, but the Family Circus kids aren't supposed to be, so there's no shame there. And they still managed to beat Dennis. I'd say it's definitely time to remove "the menace" from the title.
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