Melodrama Monday: It's been a slow week

Last week I told you what had been happening in Judge Parker, and seven days later absolutely nothing else has happened. But it looks like there might be a battle between the hospital/fortress guards and the people who hate April's father. This being Judge Parker, it'll probably happen off-screen while Alan stumbles upon a lost treasure which he is naturally allowed to keep, but I'll keep you posted.

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Mary Worth spent all week on an incredibly awkward dinner.

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"Tommy," said Wilbur, "maybe I can help you with your job search! I have a friend who's a manager at SantaRoyMart!"
Tommy threw himself backwards in his chair, raising his arms as though to keep Wilbur at bay.
"The big box store?" he asked, fear in his voice. "No! I can't!"
Mary and Wilbur exchanged worried glances. Wilbur gestured at Tommy with a knife, a move perhaps not best calculated to instil calm.
"I mean..." said Tommy, cowering, "that won't work for me!"

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And why could Tommy not bear to face SantaRoyMart? Was it because he used to buy drugs there? Or sell drugs there? Or because hearing the name "SantaRoyMart" would make anyone uneasy? No, none of those. Apparently he once got caught shoplifting there. When he was sixteen. It doesn't even have anything to do with his career as a meth dealer.

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The stand-off in Rex Morgan MD ended, as might have been expected, rather anticlimactically and largely off-screen.

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"Hey, you didn't have to do that!" whined Buck. "She was going to stop!"
"Let's go outside, sir..." said one of the police officers, gently steering him toward the door. "We'll take it from here!"
The other police officer, knelt to check on Doris who had collapsed after being tased.
"She's not breathing..." she said. "... call the paramedics!"

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Turns out she bit part of her tongue off, but was otherwise OK and now she's going to jail. Rex feels bad for Buck, but June is quick to step in to make sure he doesn't do anything crazy like offer to lend him money or do anything else for him that might inconvenience her.

Meanwhile the devil-child Sarah sees an opportunity to blackmail her babysitter, but we'll have to wait to see how that plays out.

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Finally, Shulock is doing her best to ramp up the tension in Apartment 3-G. Tommie's on the phone to her fiancé's mother Rose, who is being very evasive, which Tommie is completely failing to notice. It's not clear what the exact nature of the shocking revelation will be, but it's pretty clear that Tommie isn't getting married any time soon, and not just because she's the least interesting person imaginable or because it would destroy the comic's central premise.

My bet is on Jim being dead, but it's also possible that he may be in a coma, already married, in prison, or a ghost. There's just no way to be sure at this stage. Maggie at the Lovely Ladies of Apartment 3-G and Josh Fruhlinger (the Comics Curmudgeon) favour the theory that Jim never existed at all, which would be the best possible answer, but I can't see it happening.