Heathcliff walks down the street chatting with Marmaduke. Two children watch them pass.
"They commiserate about fleas." says one boy to the other, failing to appreciate the incredible honour bearing witness to two such majestic being passing by.
Marmaduke sits by the window, watching the snow fall, thinking of the boy who so casually disrespected him earlier. Soon he must pay.
"Do you really have to go out, or do you feel like the snow is challenging you?" asks Phil.
Marmaduke turns and fixes him with an icy glare.
Heathcliff strides down the street wearing a centurion's helmet, wielding a net on a stick and a shield with a picture of a dog on it. Two dog-catchers watch him go by.
"He's our chihuahua guy." says one to the other.
Little do they realise that it is not chihuahuas that Heathcliff hunts this day. A human child must be taught a lesson.
2014-02-26
2014-02-25
Action Tuesday: Iron Jonah
The Phantom's spent the last couple of months (well, not really, it just seems that long) showing off his collection of stolen treasures to a woman whose memory he's going to erase anyway, and I can't remember the last time anyone in Dick Tracy was suddenly and horrifically killed, but even if that weren't the case there's still only one comic that would have my attention today, and that's The Amazing Iron Jonah. I mean Spider-Man.
Oh my god, Iron Jonah. Not just the best super hero but the best thing.
So, J Jonah Jameson donated some money to Tony Stark's favourite charity, and in return Tony let him borrow an old Iron Man suit fitted up to be operated by remote control. JJJ wanted to use it to track down Spider-Man (because he's a menace!) but Spidey broke the remote control and got away.
But J Jonah Jameson doesn't give up that easily. With Tony out of town, there was no one to prevent triple-J steamrolling over the protests of Stark Industries employees and having the suit returned to its original condition. Pausing only to draw his trademark Hitler moustache on the face, Jonah suited up and took off to look for Spider-Man, and also smash a bunch of stuff.
This alone would be one of the greatest things ever to happenin The Amazing Spider-Man, but there are two more little details that are just the icing on the cake. The first is that Jonah misunderstood the safety instructions and is going to fly too fast, and the second is a tank. Actually I guess that's not such a little detail. Iron Jonah is going to fight a tank.
Up in the sky: J Jonah Jameson, in Iron Man's original armor...
"The minute I spot Spider-Man — he's toast!" roars Jonah as he hurtles through the sky at terrifying speeds.
On the ground: A tank operated by two daring bank robbers...
"See, Spike?" says one bank robber as they plow through a bulding. "Nobody can stop this getaway 'car'!"
Meanwhile, Peter Parker is taking the day off to watch some TV.
Oh my god, Iron Jonah. Not just the best super hero but the best thing.
So, J Jonah Jameson donated some money to Tony Stark's favourite charity, and in return Tony let him borrow an old Iron Man suit fitted up to be operated by remote control. JJJ wanted to use it to track down Spider-Man (because he's a menace!) but Spidey broke the remote control and got away.
But J Jonah Jameson doesn't give up that easily. With Tony out of town, there was no one to prevent triple-J steamrolling over the protests of Stark Industries employees and having the suit returned to its original condition. Pausing only to draw his trademark Hitler moustache on the face, Jonah suited up and took off to look for Spider-Man, and also smash a bunch of stuff.
This alone would be one of the greatest things ever to happen
Up in the sky: J Jonah Jameson, in Iron Man's original armor...
"The minute I spot Spider-Man — he's toast!" roars Jonah as he hurtles through the sky at terrifying speeds.
On the ground: A tank operated by two daring bank robbers...
"See, Spike?" says one bank robber as they plow through a bulding. "Nobody can stop this getaway 'car'!"
Meanwhile, Peter Parker is taking the day off to watch some TV.
2014-02-24
Melodrama Monday: Violence, intrigue and an awkward dinner party
While Tommie in Apartment 3-G has spent the past week keeping a baby deer in the flat and hyping up her new fiancé, and Luann's friends Bernice and Delta dither over whether or not they're going to the prom (which isn't even happening for months yet), things have been a bit more exciting in Judge Parker. Yes, I used "exciting" and "Judge Parker" in the same sentence.
Things started off in typical fashion, with Alan, the original Judge Parker, and his wife Katherine writing a screenplay which is guaranteed to make them even richer than they already are (because that's just what happens in this comic) while on a cruise to the jungle for the current Judge Parker's wedding to April, but things got a little bit weird along the way.
The Parkers won some money at the casino, but that goes without saying, the first hint of things to come was that time when it looked like April had just thrown a woman overboard. April works for the NSA, you see, and the woman was following her for some reason. But it now appears that April didn't do it. And there are more people following her.
But that only came up after they got to the jungle. They're in the jungle for the wedding, remember? Well, her father is hiding out there in this secret, hidden medical facility with armed guards, because he used to be a spy or something, and now Russian spies, who are working for some people he used to do some smuggling for, have tracked him down and are probably trying to kill him.
Also there's a drug cartel and a big spider. Meanwhile, Alan is having a lovely time and just wandering blissfully unaware through this dangerous world of spies, cartels, smugglers, mercenaries and deadly jungle creatures, secure in the knowledge that he is rich and therefore safe from all harm.
So basically what I'm saying here is that if anyone can explain to me what the hell is going on in Judge Parker right now, I would love to know.
Rex Morgan MD is much less confusing. We're just at the point where the boring build-up suddenly transforms into insane violence. Rex recently ran into Buck, an old highschool friend. It turned out that Buck's wife, Doris, had started drinking heavily and had attacked him with a drill. Rex was concerned and convinced him to call the police, which he did the other day. He made one little mistake though, in that he told her he'd done it before they arrived. While she had a knife in her hand.
Doris reacted in the calm and rational way typical of violent alcoholics, which is to say that she started yelling, threatening and waving the knife around. In yesterday's Sunday strip the police arrive and hear the commotion. Today's strip picks up with them opening the door and seeing Buck and Doris.
"Doris... no!" yells Buck, holding his briefcase up to defend himself.
"After all I've done for you!" yells Doris, stabbing the briefcase.
"Drop the knife, lady..." says one of the police officers, aiming a taser right at her head.
"This is my house!" screams Doris, lunging at the police officer. "Get out!"
Buck cowers against the wall as the second officer also raises a taser.
So in tomorrow's Rex Morgan MD either someone's getting stabbed or someone's getting tased, or, if we're really lucky, both!
Mary Worth should also be worth keeping an eye on over the next couple of weeks as Wilbur's former girlfriend Iris is back in town, with her son Tommy, the former meth dealer who's recently gotten out of jail and is looking to turn his life around. Will he go back to his old ways, or will Wilbur's sandwiches and frolicking be enough to cure him? Either way it should be pretty great. In today's strip, Wilbur, Iris and Tommy have been invited to Mary's house for dinner.
"I've heard nice things about Jefferson. What's it like?" asks Mary as Wilbur and Iris keep their eyes on Tommy. "I've never been there."
"Tommy will have a better chance of getting work in a big city like Santa Royale..." says Iris, having mistaken Santa Royale for a big city. "But Jefferson's quiet pace was wecome in light of his status change. The months we spent there were good."
"Just say it. mom/ Jefferson eased the way for this former drug dealer who finally left prison!" thinks Tommy, gritting his teeth and grimacing at the floor.
Wilbur continues to glare menacingly at Tommy throughout the conversation,.
Things started off in typical fashion, with Alan, the original Judge Parker, and his wife Katherine writing a screenplay which is guaranteed to make them even richer than they already are (because that's just what happens in this comic) while on a cruise to the jungle for the current Judge Parker's wedding to April, but things got a little bit weird along the way.
The Parkers won some money at the casino, but that goes without saying, the first hint of things to come was that time when it looked like April had just thrown a woman overboard. April works for the NSA, you see, and the woman was following her for some reason. But it now appears that April didn't do it. And there are more people following her.
But that only came up after they got to the jungle. They're in the jungle for the wedding, remember? Well, her father is hiding out there in this secret, hidden medical facility with armed guards, because he used to be a spy or something, and now Russian spies, who are working for some people he used to do some smuggling for, have tracked him down and are probably trying to kill him.
Also there's a drug cartel and a big spider. Meanwhile, Alan is having a lovely time and just wandering blissfully unaware through this dangerous world of spies, cartels, smugglers, mercenaries and deadly jungle creatures, secure in the knowledge that he is rich and therefore safe from all harm.
So basically what I'm saying here is that if anyone can explain to me what the hell is going on in Judge Parker right now, I would love to know.
Rex Morgan MD is much less confusing. We're just at the point where the boring build-up suddenly transforms into insane violence. Rex recently ran into Buck, an old highschool friend. It turned out that Buck's wife, Doris, had started drinking heavily and had attacked him with a drill. Rex was concerned and convinced him to call the police, which he did the other day. He made one little mistake though, in that he told her he'd done it before they arrived. While she had a knife in her hand.
Doris reacted in the calm and rational way typical of violent alcoholics, which is to say that she started yelling, threatening and waving the knife around. In yesterday's Sunday strip the police arrive and hear the commotion. Today's strip picks up with them opening the door and seeing Buck and Doris.
"Doris... no!" yells Buck, holding his briefcase up to defend himself.
"After all I've done for you!" yells Doris, stabbing the briefcase.
"Drop the knife, lady..." says one of the police officers, aiming a taser right at her head.
"This is my house!" screams Doris, lunging at the police officer. "Get out!"
Buck cowers against the wall as the second officer also raises a taser.
So in tomorrow's Rex Morgan MD either someone's getting stabbed or someone's getting tased, or, if we're really lucky, both!
Mary Worth should also be worth keeping an eye on over the next couple of weeks as Wilbur's former girlfriend Iris is back in town, with her son Tommy, the former meth dealer who's recently gotten out of jail and is looking to turn his life around. Will he go back to his old ways, or will Wilbur's sandwiches and frolicking be enough to cure him? Either way it should be pretty great. In today's strip, Wilbur, Iris and Tommy have been invited to Mary's house for dinner.
"I've heard nice things about Jefferson. What's it like?" asks Mary as Wilbur and Iris keep their eyes on Tommy. "I've never been there."
"Tommy will have a better chance of getting work in a big city like Santa Royale..." says Iris, having mistaken Santa Royale for a big city. "But Jefferson's quiet pace was wecome in light of his status change. The months we spent there were good."
"Just say it. mom/ Jefferson eased the way for this former drug dealer who finally left prison!" thinks Tommy, gritting his teeth and grimacing at the floor.
Wilbur continues to glare menacingly at Tommy throughout the conversation,.
2014-02-23
Weekend Workshop: Christ, what an asshole!
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| Based on Arlo and Janis 2014-01-29. |
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| Based on Jane's World 2014-02-11. |
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| Based on Mark Trail 2014-02-15. |
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| Based on Safe Havens 2014-02-17. |
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| Based on Luann 2014-02-19. |
2014-02-20
Big news!
I haven't posted anything here in a couple of months now, and part of that was being busy, but also being lazy. But starting next week, all that changes. By which I mean that I'm going to start posting again.There will be a couple of changes though. The content will be the same sort of stuff I've always posted, but I'm going to make some changes to my schedule. Specifically, each day of the week will get a particular focus (and a catchy name). Here's how it's going to work.
Weekend Workshop - Edited comics previously tagged as "Improving the Comics".
Melodrama Monday - Soap-opera strips. Mary Worth, Apartment 3-G, Rex Morgan MD, etc.
Action Tuesday - Action strips. Spider-Man, Dick Tracy, The Phantom, etc.
One-Panel Wednesday - One panel comics. Heathcliff, F-Minus, Dennis the Menace, etc.
That's the Joke Thursday - Sit-com strips. Sally Forth, Shoe, Garfield, etc.
Philosophical Friday - The sort of content previously tagged as "Ponderation". That was a really dumb name, and this one only is a slight improvement. Oh well, can't win them all.
The first post on this new schedule will be a Weekend Workshop on Sunday consisting of a few I've done over the last couple of months.
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