Dick Tracy still hasn't followed up on the disappearance of Little Orphan Annie, but the story we're getting instead is starting to look interesting.
Dick Tracy, 2014-05-06.
"What's going on, chief?" asks Dick.
"Tracy, it's about that death at Kolossal studios." says Patton.
"Are the results back from forensics?"
"Maybe." says Patton, narrowing his eyes. "I don't know because the case was reassigned."
"Reassigned?" exclaims Dick, jumping to his feet. "But the studio is within city limits. That's in our jurisdiction!"
"The higher-ups gave it to Jeff Clark over at county, Tracy. It seems he gets all cases connected with Tabby Angus."
Police corruption! Are we about to see Dick Tracy gun down a corrupt officer? I hope so.
Meanwhile, Popeye has forgotten all about his shameful surname (which we never got to hear) and is now focused on the problem of the toolshed that seems to be locked but shouldn't be.
Popeye, 2014-05-06.
"I told ya it was locked!" says Swee'Pea. "I has ta git the spade!"
"The door mus' be jammed..." says Popey. "I'll have to smash it in!"
Suddenly Swee'Pea leaps into the air in amazement. The spade is leaning against the outside of the shed where moments before there had been nothing.
And shit is getting real in Judge Parker as April heads into the jungle to try to find the men who are attacking the... secret jungle hospital compound thing.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-02.
"Flaco, I have the compound in sight..." says a man wearing night-vision goggles. "The party is winding down!"
"Stay put..." replies Flaco over the radio. "I'm circling to the west!"
"Copy that! I see Abbott standing on the terrace!"
"Look for the girl! She knows what happened to Li Hai!"
Unnoticed, April sneaks up behind the man, knife in hand...
And after that Katherine got captured. Both sides now hold hostages.
And I thought the fun was over in Spider-Man, now that Jonah's lost the Iron Man armour, but I was so wrong! See, it turns out that the reason Jonah hated Spider-Man was simple envy, Spider-Man has the love of the people and Jonah hated him for it, but now Jonah realises that his enmity is misplaced. Spider-Man wasn't keen on reconciliation, but Robbie talked him around as well.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-05-06.
"Robbie's right." says Spidey, abashed. "You reached out your hand in friendship — — and I slapped it down."
"Really —" says Jonah, "I'm the one who should —"
"Jameson..." says Spider-Man. "Jonah... Put 'er there!"
He holds out his hand to shake. Jonah pauses and the world holds its breath...
2014-05-06
2014-05-05
Melodrama Monday: Realistic characters and plots
Rex Morgan has finally discovered that his daughter, Sarah, is blackmailing her babysitter, and spent the last week explaining it to June, who did not take the news well. But Rex has a cunning plan to teach Sarah a "life lesson". We don't know what the plan is yet, and I don't have high expectations. In fact, I'm betting that Sarah's going to somehow turn this around on them, because she is way sneakier than her parents.
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-05.
"Hi Kelly..." says June. "Thanks for staying with Sarah today!"
"It's OK, Mrs. Morgan, I'm glad to do it!" says Kelly, as yet unaware that June knows about the blackmail. "Ms. Lanning is waiting for us! She has everything set up in Sarah's studio!"
"You go ahead, Sarah!" says June. "I need to pay Kelly for her time!"
Sarah gives Kelly a calculating look. Does she know something's up? Does she suspect that June is onto her scheme?
And in Mary Worth, Iris and Wilbur are back together and have returned to the scene of their last attempted date, Jerry's Sandwich Shop. Wilbur is personal friends with Jerry. Only the finest sandwiches for Wilbur. And Jerry pays a visit to Wilbur's table to make sure that everything is satisfactory. After all, Wilbur is a big wheel at the newspaper and Jerry owes his success to Wilbur. It's not easy to get into the Best Eats column of a local newspaper without a man on the inside. In fact, Jerry's been so successful that he may need to hire more staff! Anyone see where this is going?
Mary Worth, 2014-05-02.
"My janitor is leaving soon!" says Jerry with a sly wink. "I'll have to ask the other staff to pick up the slack until I rehire!"
Wilbur looks bored.
"What does he do?" asks Iris, apparently not familiar with the word "janitor".
"Simple cleanup..." says Jerry, pausing to think. "Floors, restroom, sidewalk... and windows, too!"
Wilbur and Iris turn to look at each other and smile.
"We may be able to suggest someone to consider for that!" says Wilbur.
It's Tommy. In case anyone had trouble following this lightning-paced plot there's a helpful image of Tommy's face in a thought bubble shared by Iris and Wilbur.
Meanwhile, the other Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Ranch? Whatever it is. He has horses there. And Jack has spent the week making ambiguous comments that could be compliments (or sexual harassment) but turn out not to be because this is Apartment 3-G. Oh, and Aristotle Papagoras is there too.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-05.
Later that evening...
"I wish I could stay and talk, but Lily and I are tired." says Tommie.
"I told you I work her hard, Ari." says Jack.
The two men share a sly smile.
"Keep it up, Tommie —" says Aristotle. "You look great!"
"Thanks, professor," says Tommie, "and good night to you and Jack."
Lily the deer stands in the doorway staring into the house.
Oh yeah, she still has the deer and is still treating it like a pet. And apparently exhausting manual labour has done wonders for her appearance. Either that or Aristotle was making a mean joke. Could go either way.
And now that prom night is over in Luann it seems like it's never going to be mentioned again and we're straight back to business as usual.
Luann, 2014-05-05.
"Since you're all seniors, your final essay will be 'What High School Has Meanto To Me'" says Mr. Fogarty.
"Oooo!" says Delta.
"Great topic, Mr. Fogarty!" says Luann.
"So original!!" says Bernice.
"I can't wait to start!!" says Knute.
And not one of them is being sarcastic. Seriously.
"The word 'nothing' counts as an essay, right?" says Tiffany.
Why can't this comic just be about Tiffany?
Rex Morgan MD, 2014-05-05.
"Hi Kelly..." says June. "Thanks for staying with Sarah today!"
"It's OK, Mrs. Morgan, I'm glad to do it!" says Kelly, as yet unaware that June knows about the blackmail. "Ms. Lanning is waiting for us! She has everything set up in Sarah's studio!"
"You go ahead, Sarah!" says June. "I need to pay Kelly for her time!"
Sarah gives Kelly a calculating look. Does she know something's up? Does she suspect that June is onto her scheme?
And in Mary Worth, Iris and Wilbur are back together and have returned to the scene of their last attempted date, Jerry's Sandwich Shop. Wilbur is personal friends with Jerry. Only the finest sandwiches for Wilbur. And Jerry pays a visit to Wilbur's table to make sure that everything is satisfactory. After all, Wilbur is a big wheel at the newspaper and Jerry owes his success to Wilbur. It's not easy to get into the Best Eats column of a local newspaper without a man on the inside. In fact, Jerry's been so successful that he may need to hire more staff! Anyone see where this is going?
Mary Worth, 2014-05-02.
"My janitor is leaving soon!" says Jerry with a sly wink. "I'll have to ask the other staff to pick up the slack until I rehire!"
Wilbur looks bored.
"What does he do?" asks Iris, apparently not familiar with the word "janitor".
"Simple cleanup..." says Jerry, pausing to think. "Floors, restroom, sidewalk... and windows, too!"
Wilbur and Iris turn to look at each other and smile.
"We may be able to suggest someone to consider for that!" says Wilbur.
It's Tommy. In case anyone had trouble following this lightning-paced plot there's a helpful image of Tommy's face in a thought bubble shared by Iris and Wilbur.
Meanwhile, the other Tommie is still on Jack Riley's... farm? Ranch? Whatever it is. He has horses there. And Jack has spent the week making ambiguous comments that could be compliments (or sexual harassment) but turn out not to be because this is Apartment 3-G. Oh, and Aristotle Papagoras is there too.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-05.
Later that evening...
"I wish I could stay and talk, but Lily and I are tired." says Tommie.
"I told you I work her hard, Ari." says Jack.
The two men share a sly smile.
"Keep it up, Tommie —" says Aristotle. "You look great!"
"Thanks, professor," says Tommie, "and good night to you and Jack."
Lily the deer stands in the doorway staring into the house.
Oh yeah, she still has the deer and is still treating it like a pet. And apparently exhausting manual labour has done wonders for her appearance. Either that or Aristotle was making a mean joke. Could go either way.
And now that prom night is over in Luann it seems like it's never going to be mentioned again and we're straight back to business as usual.
Luann, 2014-05-05.
"Since you're all seniors, your final essay will be 'What High School Has Meanto To Me'" says Mr. Fogarty.
"Oooo!" says Delta.
"Great topic, Mr. Fogarty!" says Luann.
"So original!!" says Bernice.
"I can't wait to start!!" says Knute.
And not one of them is being sarcastic. Seriously.
"The word 'nothing' counts as an essay, right?" says Tiffany.
Why can't this comic just be about Tiffany?
2014-05-04
Weekend Workshop: Did you know I have a Twitter?
 |
| Based on the Apartment 3-G strips of 2014-05-01 and 2014-05-02. |
And since I only did the one edit this week I thought I'd pad this post out with some stuff I already posted on Twitter during the week. If you enjoy these tweets then you can follow me on Twitter and see even more of them.
#Henry pretended to like the jumper that Henrietta made for him but actually he didn't like it at all.
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) April 29, 2014
A dragon is a lot bigger than a dig and so its poo is also a lot bigger. #WizardOfId
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) April 29, 2014
Aristotle is understandably confused that anyone would notice Tommie at all, much less regard her as "something special". #Apartment3G
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) April 30, 2014
Today's #BabyBlues is about pissing all over the floor.
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) April 30, 2014
All shit smells bad, but #Marvin's especially so.
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) April 30, 2014
#HamShears hid under the sink for a week to avoid social awkwardness. It didn't work.
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) April 30, 2014
#FredBasset and his friends enjoy bones.
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) May 1, 2014
#ToddTheDinosaur is a T-Rex so he has tiny little arms and can't throw very well.
— Comics for the Blind (@blindcomics) May 2, 2014
2014-05-02
Philosophical Friday: Aunt Fritzi the Cougar
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| Mandrake the Magician, 2014-05-01. |
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| Nancy, 2014-04-29. |
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| Nancy, 2012-11-27. |
And if that isn't compelling enough for you, there's also this Sunday strip from 2012.
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| Nancy, 2012-09-30. |
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| Agnes, 2014-04-24. |
2014-05-01
Sitcom Thursday: Political Correctness Gone Mad!
Todd the Dinosaur, 2014-04-30.
"Well, these are the last comic books I'll ever buy!" says Todd. "This political correctness stuff has just run amok!"
"Let me see" asks Trent. "'Bat Person'?"
"Yeah," says Todd, "it was on the rack right next to this one"
"'Very Helpful Person'?" reads Trent.
"Yep. They thought 'Superman' would hurt regular people's self-esteem"
God, where to even start with this bullshit. First, I guess, with the fact that this is just fucking dumb as shit. This goes so far beyond straw-manning that surely even the "political correctness gone mad" people must think this is dumb.
Secondly, why is Trent reading out the names of the comics? This is a comic strip, a visual medium, you could just show the covers. You could even fit some additional jokes in on those covers — although I suppose that having additional jokes would require there to be some jokes to begin with.
Thirdly, it's not like the premise of a more PC Batman (or Superman) doesn't have potential. You could do something with Batman not beating up criminals because they're actually mentally ill people who should be treated with care and compassion, but Patrick Roberts hasn't even thought about it enough to get that far.
Also, the idea that super-hero comics are being written and drawn by social justice warriors is laughably absurd to anyone who's seen them. You could probably get a joke out of that, too, but it would also require more effort than Roberts is willing to put into his incredibly easy job that he gets paid real money to do.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2014-04-30.
"I ain't spyin'," says Roy, holding a pair of binoculars, "I'm keepin' us safe !!"
"Shore ya are, Roy !!" says Snuffy. "From all th' purty gals that go by !!"
Roy grins sheepishly.
You can't even look at pretty girls without being accused of something these days, it's political correctness gone mad!
Beetle Bailey, 2014-04-29.
"Sarge, you really annoy me!!" yells Lt. Fuzz. "You're a ☼ a ♯♯! A ȸȹȸ! And a ⇜!!"
He takes a breath and smiles warmly. "How's that?
"A little better, sir. I felt a slight twinge of anger" says Sgt. Snorkel. "But keep practicing, sir"
Can't even use real swearwords! Political correctness gone mad!
Baby Blues, 2014-04-30.
"No! No! You keep hitting the rim!" yells Wanda. "Try to get a little more arc on it. Good shot!"
"Is mom playing basketball with Hammie?" asks Darryl.
"No, it's just bathroom practice." says Zoe.
No, you're not misinterpreting that, it's a comic about pissing on the floor. Political correctness gone mad? Something's gone mad, of that I'm sure.
"Well, these are the last comic books I'll ever buy!" says Todd. "This political correctness stuff has just run amok!"
"Let me see" asks Trent. "'Bat Person'?"
"Yeah," says Todd, "it was on the rack right next to this one"
"'Very Helpful Person'?" reads Trent.
"Yep. They thought 'Superman' would hurt regular people's self-esteem"
God, where to even start with this bullshit. First, I guess, with the fact that this is just fucking dumb as shit. This goes so far beyond straw-manning that surely even the "political correctness gone mad" people must think this is dumb.
Secondly, why is Trent reading out the names of the comics? This is a comic strip, a visual medium, you could just show the covers. You could even fit some additional jokes in on those covers — although I suppose that having additional jokes would require there to be some jokes to begin with.
Thirdly, it's not like the premise of a more PC Batman (or Superman) doesn't have potential. You could do something with Batman not beating up criminals because they're actually mentally ill people who should be treated with care and compassion, but Patrick Roberts hasn't even thought about it enough to get that far.
Also, the idea that super-hero comics are being written and drawn by social justice warriors is laughably absurd to anyone who's seen them. You could probably get a joke out of that, too, but it would also require more effort than Roberts is willing to put into his incredibly easy job that he gets paid real money to do.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2014-04-30.
"I ain't spyin'," says Roy, holding a pair of binoculars, "I'm keepin' us safe !!"
"Shore ya are, Roy !!" says Snuffy. "From all th' purty gals that go by !!"
Roy grins sheepishly.
You can't even look at pretty girls without being accused of something these days, it's political correctness gone mad!
Beetle Bailey, 2014-04-29.
"Sarge, you really annoy me!!" yells Lt. Fuzz. "You're a ☼ a ♯♯! A ȸȹȸ! And a ⇜!!"
He takes a breath and smiles warmly. "How's that?
"A little better, sir. I felt a slight twinge of anger" says Sgt. Snorkel. "But keep practicing, sir"
Can't even use real swearwords! Political correctness gone mad!
Baby Blues, 2014-04-30.
"No! No! You keep hitting the rim!" yells Wanda. "Try to get a little more arc on it. Good shot!"
"Is mom playing basketball with Hammie?" asks Darryl.
"No, it's just bathroom practice." says Zoe.
No, you're not misinterpreting that, it's a comic about pissing on the floor. Political correctness gone mad? Something's gone mad, of that I'm sure.
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