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| Edge City, 2014-06-02. |
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| Wee Pals, 2014-06-03. |
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| Fort Knox, 2014-06-05. |
2014-06-06
Philosophical Friday: The good, the bad and the ambiguously worded
2014-06-05
Sitcom Thursday: Hiram classes it up
Brewster Rockit: Space Guy!, 2014-06-02.
"Smart guns that only work for their owners. Smart cars that steer themselves." says Dr Mel. "Smart gadgets are the future! I'm creating other smart gadgets. Like the smart fork!"
Brewster doesn't reply.
Meanwhile, Cliff is using Mel's new fork.
"I think you've had enough." says the fork.
Mel's a bit behind the times. Those already exist.
Dustin, 2014-06-03.
Meg is writing in her diary.
"Tomorrow I plan to confess my darkest, most closely guarded secret ever." she writes. "A secret so ignominious, that heretofore, I have been unable to risk its disclosure, even here."
Later, as Meg is eating at the kitchen table, Dustin comes into the room.
"Meg, quick question..." he says. "What does 'ignominious' mean?"
Meg is horrified at the realisation that her brother reads her diary.
At first I wondered why Dustin would read Meg's diary. I doubt it can be of any interest to him. But then I realised, he must have known when he asked that question that Meg would realise that he'd been reading it, but he would still have plausible deniability, so the reason becomes clear. He read his sister's diary to annoy her. Fair enough.
Hi and Lois, 2014-06-03.
His is unshaven and dressed casually.
"My book group is coming over." says Lois. "Can you make yourself a little more presentable?"
"OK." says Hi and goes off to do so.
Later, Lois enters the living-room to find Hi seated in an armchair, now dressed in a smoking jacket, monocle and ascot, holding a pipe and a snifter.
"I went for the literary look." he says.
You've got to admire his dedication to the joke. Also the fact that he already owned all those things.
Andy Capp, 2014-06-04.
Andy staggers onto the pitch, hiccuping.
"Fancy turning up for football after being in the pub." says one of his team-mates. "Disgraceful"
"He's in no fit state to play" says another, as Andy collapses.
"Hold on," says the first, "I think he could do a job in goal"
So they get some rope and tie his arms to the top of the goal, hanging him there as a sort of makeshift barrier.
"Smart guns that only work for their owners. Smart cars that steer themselves." says Dr Mel. "Smart gadgets are the future! I'm creating other smart gadgets. Like the smart fork!"
Brewster doesn't reply.
Meanwhile, Cliff is using Mel's new fork.
"I think you've had enough." says the fork.
Mel's a bit behind the times. Those already exist.
Dustin, 2014-06-03.
Meg is writing in her diary.
"Tomorrow I plan to confess my darkest, most closely guarded secret ever." she writes. "A secret so ignominious, that heretofore, I have been unable to risk its disclosure, even here."
Later, as Meg is eating at the kitchen table, Dustin comes into the room.
"Meg, quick question..." he says. "What does 'ignominious' mean?"
Meg is horrified at the realisation that her brother reads her diary.
At first I wondered why Dustin would read Meg's diary. I doubt it can be of any interest to him. But then I realised, he must have known when he asked that question that Meg would realise that he'd been reading it, but he would still have plausible deniability, so the reason becomes clear. He read his sister's diary to annoy her. Fair enough.
Hi and Lois, 2014-06-03.
His is unshaven and dressed casually.
"My book group is coming over." says Lois. "Can you make yourself a little more presentable?"
"OK." says Hi and goes off to do so.
Later, Lois enters the living-room to find Hi seated in an armchair, now dressed in a smoking jacket, monocle and ascot, holding a pipe and a snifter.
"I went for the literary look." he says.
You've got to admire his dedication to the joke. Also the fact that he already owned all those things.
Andy Capp, 2014-06-04.
Andy staggers onto the pitch, hiccuping.
"Fancy turning up for football after being in the pub." says one of his team-mates. "Disgraceful"
"He's in no fit state to play" says another, as Andy collapses.
"Hold on," says the first, "I think he could do a job in goal"
So they get some rope and tie his arms to the top of the goal, hanging him there as a sort of makeshift barrier.
One-Panel Wednesday: Anger and Disgust
Beetle Bailey, 2014-05-30.
Pvt. Bailey is alone, in the middle of the desert when he is approached by Chip Flagston.
"Hey, jerk!" calls Chip.
"You talking to me?" asks Bailey.
I thought Chip liked Beetle.
Hazel, 2014-05-30.
George has built a scarecrow that looks like Hazel.
"If ANYTHING will keep the birds away..." he says happily.
Unseen behind him stands Hazel, glaring. Apparently she isn't taking it as a compliment.
Tina's Groove, 2014-05-30.
Tina is serving a middle-aged couple a large slice of cake.
"Here comes all that extra weight I lost..." says the woman. "Somehow it always finds me..."
She refers not to the cake but to a pink blob of human fat that is slithering across the floor of the restaurant toward her. No one seems to be reacting with the horror and disgust you'd expect. Tina looks a bit worried, but she always does.
Ziggy, 2014-06-04.
Ziggy is at the doctor's, with a thermometer in his mouth.
"Your test results are in..." says the doctor. "Are you trying to be funny?"
Obviously Ziggy is not, he is the punchline.
Pvt. Bailey is alone, in the middle of the desert when he is approached by Chip Flagston.
"Hey, jerk!" calls Chip.
"You talking to me?" asks Bailey.
I thought Chip liked Beetle.
Hazel, 2014-05-30.
George has built a scarecrow that looks like Hazel.
"If ANYTHING will keep the birds away..." he says happily.
Unseen behind him stands Hazel, glaring. Apparently she isn't taking it as a compliment.
Tina's Groove, 2014-05-30.
Tina is serving a middle-aged couple a large slice of cake.
"Here comes all that extra weight I lost..." says the woman. "Somehow it always finds me..."
She refers not to the cake but to a pink blob of human fat that is slithering across the floor of the restaurant toward her. No one seems to be reacting with the horror and disgust you'd expect. Tina looks a bit worried, but she always does.
Ziggy, 2014-06-04.
Ziggy is at the doctor's, with a thermometer in his mouth.
"Your test results are in..." says the doctor. "Are you trying to be funny?"
Obviously Ziggy is not, he is the punchline.
2014-06-04
Action Tuesday: Mandrake the Moron
After a week of Mark Trail expressing human emotion and willingly spending time with his wife, I'm starting to worry about James Allen's style. I mean, Mark fighting a bear and then the bear fighting another bear were great, but this is just not the Mark Trail I know and love. At least one thing doesn't seem to have changed though...
Mark Trail, 2014-06-03.
"Bill Ellis called for you, Mark!" calls Doc.
"Mark, are you going to tell Mr. Ellis about the bear that chased you?" asks Rusty.
"He just wants my next story, Rusty!" says Mark.
"I don't think so, Mark..." says Doc. "Bill said something about you going on a trip!"
Mark is going on a trip! I wonder if he'll promise to take Rusty fishing when he gets back and then never do it? Also, Mark's reaction to Rusty's question is the sort of bizarre non-sequitur that I've always liked about this comic, along with the fact that Mark apparently isn't going to tell Bill about the bear, or, I don't know, write an article about the experience. That seems like something people might like to read.
On the other end of the spectrum, Judge Parker has been delightful this week. After ungagging Katherine for no apparent reason, Flaco has been chatting with her while trying to spot the people sneaking up to kill him.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-30.
"He should be here by now!" says Flaco. "They're trying to trick me!"
"Of course they are..." says Katherine, blissfully naïve to her own mortal peril. "But you can trick them! Your wife is safe and you have everything to live for now! Why don't you just surrender to me and we'll call it a day?"
And then she convinced Flaco to sit down next to her, which actually made it impossible for Abbott's mercenaries to get a clear shot at him. So it turns out she might actually be helping him, although probably not intentionally.
And Mandrake the Magician and Lothar followed Alibi Algie, the man with the apparent ability to be in two places at once, to his hotel room and discovered...
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-06-03.
"Alibi Algie... identical twins!" gasps Mandrake.
"We should have guessed that." says Lothar.
"Too late to guess --" says one of the twins.
"We never shoot people -- until now." says the other.
Lothar said it all, really.
Mark Trail, 2014-06-03.
"Bill Ellis called for you, Mark!" calls Doc.
"Mark, are you going to tell Mr. Ellis about the bear that chased you?" asks Rusty.
"He just wants my next story, Rusty!" says Mark.
"I don't think so, Mark..." says Doc. "Bill said something about you going on a trip!"
Mark is going on a trip! I wonder if he'll promise to take Rusty fishing when he gets back and then never do it? Also, Mark's reaction to Rusty's question is the sort of bizarre non-sequitur that I've always liked about this comic, along with the fact that Mark apparently isn't going to tell Bill about the bear, or, I don't know, write an article about the experience. That seems like something people might like to read.
On the other end of the spectrum, Judge Parker has been delightful this week. After ungagging Katherine for no apparent reason, Flaco has been chatting with her while trying to spot the people sneaking up to kill him.
Judge Parker, 2014-05-30.
"He should be here by now!" says Flaco. "They're trying to trick me!"
"Of course they are..." says Katherine, blissfully naïve to her own mortal peril. "But you can trick them! Your wife is safe and you have everything to live for now! Why don't you just surrender to me and we'll call it a day?"
And then she convinced Flaco to sit down next to her, which actually made it impossible for Abbott's mercenaries to get a clear shot at him. So it turns out she might actually be helping him, although probably not intentionally.
And Mandrake the Magician and Lothar followed Alibi Algie, the man with the apparent ability to be in two places at once, to his hotel room and discovered...
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-06-03.
"Alibi Algie... identical twins!" gasps Mandrake.
"We should have guessed that." says Lothar.
"Too late to guess --" says one of the twins.
"We never shoot people -- until now." says the other.
Lothar said it all, really.
2014-06-02
Melodrama Monday: I don't understand any of this
Basically nothing at all happened in Rex Morgan MD this week. Sarah was told she had to wear a hat and she didn't want to but then Kelly distracted her by suggesting she paint a bus. That is, paint a picture of a bus. Then Kelly went to the museum café and got some apple juice, where she learned from Holly the café worker that part of Sarah's contract is free snacks. So it's been a non-stop thrill-ride, basically.
Rex Morgan, 2014-06-02.
"Don't forget, Kelly..." says Holly, "I want to meet Sarah after my shift!"
"Just come down to the studio..." says Kelly, "we'll be there for a couple more hours!"
As she leaves, Kelly overhears Ms. Lanning talking to an old man.
"Mrs. Pierpont wants to meet Sarah... now?" she asks.
"She's on her way..." says the man, "and she's not very happy!"
I literally cannot imagine what is going on here.
And in Funky Winkerbean, Holly has discovered that the only available copies of the last two comics she needs to complete her son's collection are owned by... I can hardly even bring myself to type this... Chester Hagglemore. Seriously, that's his actual name. Ironically, he's actually easygoing and generous. No, of course he isn't, because this is Funky Winkerbean where everything is terrible always.
So in preparation for meeting Chester "the chiseler" Hagglemore (yeah, he needed that nickname because his actual name being "Hagglemore" wasn't enough) Holly obtains "an original splash page featuring the Amazing Mister Sponge". She does this by just going to the writer and asking because she already knows him. So she arrives at Hagglemore's house, which is a mansion with Batman and Superman logos on the gates and presses the button for the intercom...
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-01.
"Hello?" says Holly. "Mr. Hagglemore... I'm Holly Winkerbean... we talked on the phone."
"I'm busy today, Mrs. Winkerbean..." says Chester. "Come back some other time."
"See this?" says Holly, holding up the splash page in front of the camera. "It's an Amazing Mister Sponge splash page."
She holds up a pair of scissors.
"See these?"
The gate opens.
So, they talked on the phone and presumably he agreed to see her, otherwise why would she be there? So he's just being a dick for no reason. But apparently she anticipated this and brought the scissors so she could threaten to destroy her own property if he didn't let her in. And that worked. I'm speechless.
But on the other hand, I ca't say enough about Carol and Jack in Apartment 3-G. They're amazing. Their conversation is basically a sequence of non-sequiturs and ambiguous insults. They're apparently a couple, but Carol's been away for three months and they haven't spoken at all in that time.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-30.
"I see you have a new bird with a broken wing." says Carol.
"You met Tommie?" says Jack.
"Yes, I've met Tommie. She insists she's not in love with you, Jack."
"Leave her be, Carol. She doesn't understand your games."
Does anyone? I certainly don't. I am enjoying it though.
Rex Morgan, 2014-06-02.
"Don't forget, Kelly..." says Holly, "I want to meet Sarah after my shift!"
"Just come down to the studio..." says Kelly, "we'll be there for a couple more hours!"
As she leaves, Kelly overhears Ms. Lanning talking to an old man.
"Mrs. Pierpont wants to meet Sarah... now?" she asks.
"She's on her way..." says the man, "and she's not very happy!"
I literally cannot imagine what is going on here.
And in Funky Winkerbean, Holly has discovered that the only available copies of the last two comics she needs to complete her son's collection are owned by... I can hardly even bring myself to type this... Chester Hagglemore. Seriously, that's his actual name. Ironically, he's actually easygoing and generous. No, of course he isn't, because this is Funky Winkerbean where everything is terrible always.
So in preparation for meeting Chester "the chiseler" Hagglemore (yeah, he needed that nickname because his actual name being "Hagglemore" wasn't enough) Holly obtains "an original splash page featuring the Amazing Mister Sponge". She does this by just going to the writer and asking because she already knows him. So she arrives at Hagglemore's house, which is a mansion with Batman and Superman logos on the gates and presses the button for the intercom...
Funky Winkerbean, 2014-06-01.
"Hello?" says Holly. "Mr. Hagglemore... I'm Holly Winkerbean... we talked on the phone."
"I'm busy today, Mrs. Winkerbean..." says Chester. "Come back some other time."
"See this?" says Holly, holding up the splash page in front of the camera. "It's an Amazing Mister Sponge splash page."
She holds up a pair of scissors.
"See these?"
The gate opens.
So, they talked on the phone and presumably he agreed to see her, otherwise why would she be there? So he's just being a dick for no reason. But apparently she anticipated this and brought the scissors so she could threaten to destroy her own property if he didn't let her in. And that worked. I'm speechless.
But on the other hand, I ca't say enough about Carol and Jack in Apartment 3-G. They're amazing. Their conversation is basically a sequence of non-sequiturs and ambiguous insults. They're apparently a couple, but Carol's been away for three months and they haven't spoken at all in that time.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-05-30.
"I see you have a new bird with a broken wing." says Carol.
"You met Tommie?" says Jack.
"Yes, I've met Tommie. She insists she's not in love with you, Jack."
"Leave her be, Carol. She doesn't understand your games."
Does anyone? I certainly don't. I am enjoying it though.
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