Dick Tracy is still stuck in the past (or whatever), but the rest of the team have finally figured out where he was going when he disappeared and are now researching the island.
Dick Tracy, 2014-08-22.
"Lex Associates holds Thunder Island?" says Tess.
"Fritz Ann, can you tell us about them?" asks Patton.
"Pardon me, Chief Patton, but I think we have all we need to know." says the Asp. "Lex Associates, when partially erased and reversed..."
He takes a marker and begins writing on the whiteboard.
"...spells Axel. He is our primary foe."
"Our records list Axel as missing presumed dead." says Fritz Ann.
"If only, Ms. Dietrich."
And everyone is just going to accept tht as though it means something. Wait a second, Dick Tracy left by car. Cars have wheels, connected by... Axles! Axle... Axel... am I the only one seeing this?
And Doc Ock still hasn't revealed his nefarious plan yet and continues to act as a far better super hero than Spider-Man ever was. In fact, he just foiled a bank robbery.
The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-08-26.
"Always glad to help, officer, when I can spare time from my research." says Octavius.
"Yeah?" says the police officer. "What're you workin' on these days, Dr. Octopus?"
"I fear I'm not at liberty to say... but I can guarantee it will shake things up a bit."
"Why is my spider sense suddenly tingling?" wonders Peter.
Good question, Peter. It's really hard to figure out what will or won't set it off. I thought the basic premise was that it was a sort of proximity warning, but the number of times you've been hit on the head (both by villains and by inanimate objects just falling on you) tells me that can't be the case. And in the past I've seen it go off because there was some important paperwork nearby, and because someone was talking about you. And not even someone nearby where you could have subconsciously overheard them.
In this case though, it's pretty obvious that Doc Ock is building some kind of earthquake machine. For crime. He's not even being subtle about it.
You know who else could use some help spotting the blatantly obvious? Mark Trail. He has finally discovered Dirty's poaching though, and rather than going to the police decided to just confront him about it. In the middle of nowhere, with no witnesses. Well, Lori and Taurus are there, but seriously, dumb move.
Mark Trail, 2014-08-25.
"You've interfered long enough, Trail!" says Dirty, tackling Mark to the ground and drawing a large knife.
"Chris, wait!" pleads Mark, totally forgetting to call him "Dirty".
KAPOW
Taurus holds a smoking rifle in his hands.
"Taurus!?" exclaims Dirty. "What are you doing?"
"I can't let you do that, Chris - now drop the knife!"
Since when does a gunshot sound like "kapow"? And why won't anyone call him "Dirty"?
And we have a new daily story in The Phantom this week, which is already off to a much better start than the last one. We meet two new characters, Barker and Shotgun, criminals who have a "hijack job" to do in the morning. Surprisingly, Shotgun is the more reasonable of the two, advising his partner not to get too drunk the night before.
The Phantom, 2014-08-26.
Barker and Shotgun walk past an alley and notice a homeless man with a shopping trolley walking along it.
"Hey, Shotgun!" says Barker. "Watch this guy flop!"
With that he pulls out his gun and shoots the homeless man.
"Are you out of your mind!?" asks Shotgun, aghast.
I guess they really needed to make this guy super-evil, just so the Phantom would look like the good guy by comparison.
2014-08-24
Weekend Workshop: Photobombing
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| Based on Nancy, 2014-08-10 (and some other Nancy strips). |
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| Based on Judge Parker, 2014-08-21. |
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| Based on Mary Worth, 2014-08-22 (and another Mary Worth strip). |
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| Based on Nancy, 2014-08-22. |
2014-08-22
Philosophical Friday: Lazy and Dumb
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| Bewley, 2014-08-18. |
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| Between Friends, 2014-09-19. |
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| Todd the Dinosaur, 2014-08-22. |
2014-08-21
Sitcom Thursday: Whingers
The Born Loser, 2014-08-08.
Brutus is on the telephone.
"I'd like a large pizza with goat cheese, green olives, pineapple and extra anchovies." he says.
"You're joking, right?" asks the person he's speaking to. "You don't really want to order your pizza with those toppings, do you?"
"What's the difference?" asks Brutus. "You never get my order right anyway!"
Where to even start with this? How about the pizza. It sounds pretty good. I'd totally eat that. What the hell is pizza guy's problem? Secondly, if this pizza place keeps screwing up Brutus's orders, why is he still ordering from them? There has got to be another pizza place he could call. Thirdly, maybe they'd get your order right, Brutus, if you ordered something that was actually on the menu.
Buni, 2014-08-08.
Buni is walking down the street when a shadowy figure in an alley attracts his attention. It turns out that the bear (I think it's a bear but it's hard to tell) is selling unicorn horns. Buni is horrified at the thought of unicorns being killed for their horns (even though unicorns are arseholes), but the bear is quick to reassure him. These are fake unicorn horns, and so Buni buys one.
Later we see the bear at home, carving a unicorn horn from a bone. Behind him sits a one-legged panda. The implication is that the fake unicorn horns are actually made from panda bones.
Hi and Lois, 2014-08-18.
"Maybe we could watch a movie later, just us." suggests Hiram.
"That would be nice." says Lois. "What should we watch?"
"There are so many we haven't seen." says Hiram.
"Movie night?!" says Dot.
"Pop-corn!" says Ditto.
"Cartoons again." sighs Hiram.
Jesus Christ, Hi, just watch whatever you want after the kids go to bed. Wasn't that your plan originally anyway? If you don't want to watch the kids movie, do something else while it's on.
Pajama Diaries, 2014-08-19.
"School's starting soon." thinks Jill. "Time to wash Jess's backpack."
She tips the contents from the foul-smelling backpack before bleaching and scrubbing it.
"Yeah... no one uses backpacks at middle school." says Jess. "I'm taking a tote."
That stinking backpack full of garbage just sat around like that all summer? Ew. And is the implication here that washing it was unnecessary because Jess doesn't want to use it? I'm pretty sure you'd want to wash it before putting it away anyway, but I guess if that were the case then you already would have.
Brutus is on the telephone.
"I'd like a large pizza with goat cheese, green olives, pineapple and extra anchovies." he says.
"You're joking, right?" asks the person he's speaking to. "You don't really want to order your pizza with those toppings, do you?"
"What's the difference?" asks Brutus. "You never get my order right anyway!"
Where to even start with this? How about the pizza. It sounds pretty good. I'd totally eat that. What the hell is pizza guy's problem? Secondly, if this pizza place keeps screwing up Brutus's orders, why is he still ordering from them? There has got to be another pizza place he could call. Thirdly, maybe they'd get your order right, Brutus, if you ordered something that was actually on the menu.
Buni, 2014-08-08.
Buni is walking down the street when a shadowy figure in an alley attracts his attention. It turns out that the bear (I think it's a bear but it's hard to tell) is selling unicorn horns. Buni is horrified at the thought of unicorns being killed for their horns (even though unicorns are arseholes), but the bear is quick to reassure him. These are fake unicorn horns, and so Buni buys one.
Later we see the bear at home, carving a unicorn horn from a bone. Behind him sits a one-legged panda. The implication is that the fake unicorn horns are actually made from panda bones.
Hi and Lois, 2014-08-18.
"Maybe we could watch a movie later, just us." suggests Hiram.
"That would be nice." says Lois. "What should we watch?"
"There are so many we haven't seen." says Hiram.
"Movie night?!" says Dot.
"Pop-corn!" says Ditto.
"Cartoons again." sighs Hiram.
Jesus Christ, Hi, just watch whatever you want after the kids go to bed. Wasn't that your plan originally anyway? If you don't want to watch the kids movie, do something else while it's on.
Pajama Diaries, 2014-08-19.
"School's starting soon." thinks Jill. "Time to wash Jess's backpack."
She tips the contents from the foul-smelling backpack before bleaching and scrubbing it.
"Yeah... no one uses backpacks at middle school." says Jess. "I'm taking a tote."
That stinking backpack full of garbage just sat around like that all summer? Ew. And is the implication here that washing it was unnecessary because Jess doesn't want to use it? I'm pretty sure you'd want to wash it before putting it away anyway, but I guess if that were the case then you already would have.
2014-08-20
One-Panel Wednesday: All hail Heathcliff, for he is our new god-king.
Dennis the Menace, 2014-08-08.
"I was supposed to sit here for 15 minutes, but I think I've gone into overtime." says Dennis glumly.
A very large, creepy-looking cat smirks at him.
Family Circus, 2014-08-08.
"I want you to know that you can be arrested for wearing socks with sandals." says Dolly, pointing at Jeffy's feet.
Jeffy looks suitably chagrined.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-12.
Heathcliff and two other cats are on a stage wearing egg cotumes and playing musical instruments. A crowd of other cats watch them in silence. The drum kit bears the name "Dumpty". Three humans observe from a nearby window.
"His new band." says one.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-19.
Heathcliff is seated on a throne between two flaming torches. Behind him looms a massive cat's head idol. One mouse beats a drum as another approaches with a cocktail on a tray.
"Just another Tuesday night." remarks one owl to another.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-20.
Heathcliff flies over the neighbourhood in a helicopter made in his image.
"It's garbage night somewhere." remarks one man to another.
"I was supposed to sit here for 15 minutes, but I think I've gone into overtime." says Dennis glumly.
A very large, creepy-looking cat smirks at him.
Family Circus, 2014-08-08.
"I want you to know that you can be arrested for wearing socks with sandals." says Dolly, pointing at Jeffy's feet.
Jeffy looks suitably chagrined.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-12.
Heathcliff and two other cats are on a stage wearing egg cotumes and playing musical instruments. A crowd of other cats watch them in silence. The drum kit bears the name "Dumpty". Three humans observe from a nearby window.
"His new band." says one.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-19.
Heathcliff is seated on a throne between two flaming torches. Behind him looms a massive cat's head idol. One mouse beats a drum as another approaches with a cocktail on a tray.
"Just another Tuesday night." remarks one owl to another.
Heathcliff, 2014-08-20.
Heathcliff flies over the neighbourhood in a helicopter made in his image.
"It's garbage night somewhere." remarks one man to another.
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