Apartment 3-G is still just talk, talk talk. Jack's back now, and there's something wrong with his horse, but who gives a shit? Nothing is happening. Where is Margo? I'd even settle for Lu Ann. Just anything that gets us away from Tommie and Carol. I'm not even going to do a particular strip here, there is literally nothing to comment on. Moving on.
Mary Worth has finally finished the wrap-up and recap of the psychic Olive (prophet of the Lord) story with the conclusion that she's not psychic or anything, just intuitive, and Mary will definitely keep in touch with her (she definitely will not). The new story has started, but nothing has actually happened yet, so...
Nothing is happening in Luann either. We cut away from Rosa and Gunther (thank god), but in their place we got Luann and Bernice doing nothing and not revealing Bernice's mysterious new roommate, and now we're back with Bwad and Toni and TJ's insurance fraud, which sounds fun in theory, but nothing is actually happening. TJ just got the money and Bwad is still being all passive-aggressive about his suspicions, but TJ hasn't actually bought anything yet and Bwad is too spineless to actually confront him, so I guess this is going nowhere.
In Judge Parker, Neddy and Sam have met with Rocky and obviously he is absolutely thrilled to give her free use of his property to start her business because that's just how things work in this comic. And we've heard that there may be some ongoing drama with Godiva, but she hasn't actually been in the strip at all so it's just been boring people talking about something interesting that may or may not be happening off-screen.
But here's something. Sally Forth is actually dipping it's toe into the soap-opera genre this week, as it does from time to time. Alice, Sally's co-worker (and only friend) Alice has been looking for a new job, leaving Sally feeling conflicted. On the one hand, she doesn't want to hold Alice back, but she feels that their friendship probably won't survive if they don't see each other at work.
Sally is at her desk, writing something with a pen on paper like a caveman. Alice walks in.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" says Sally.
Alice remains silent.
"Did... did the mood just change in this room?" asks Sally, looking around. "Is there a switch for that kind of thing?"
"I got a job offer." says Alice.
OK, it's not much, but honestly I have never seen the soap strips be so boring all at the same time like this before. There's usually something happening!
2014-09-03
One-Panel Wednesday: You've got to admire his style
Heathcliff, 2014-09-01.
Heathcliff is piloting a small boat behind which half a dozen cats are water-skiing in a pyramid formation. Each cat (including Heathcliff) is carrying a fish. Sonja is on top of the pyramid. As they go by the fish market, two fishmongers come out to watch.
"You've got to admire his style." says one to the other.
Heathcliff is piloting a small boat behind which half a dozen cats are water-skiing in a pyramid formation. Each cat (including Heathcliff) is carrying a fish. Sonja is on top of the pyramid. As they go by the fish market, two fishmongers come out to watch.
"You've got to admire his style." says one to the other.
2014-09-02
Action Tuesday: Overdue Bills
I haven't been talking about Mandrake the Magician lately, but only because it's been incredibly dumb in a very boring way. Mandrake was kidnapped by an alien in a UFO which turned out to actually be a person from the future in a time machine and brought to the future, where he was given a guided tour of the Earth. Basically, the entire Earth is paved over now and there are replicas of present-day cities in big domes under the sea, and everything is ruled by three women called the Bozz of Time, the Bozz of Paving and Potholes the Bozz of Everything Else.
There was a liquid diamond suit that allowed Mandrake to fly and some zoos full of genetically engineered versions of present-day animals that all lived in harmony. Eventually he was brought to a replica of his own house but made of liquid diamonds, and introduced to robotic replicas of Narda, Lothar and Hojo. But forget that, because this is where the ruler of past, present and future, the Bozz of Time lives.
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-09-02.
"Third ruler of the Earth? You kidnapped me!" says Mandrake.
"I did indeed." says... the exact same woman who brought Mandrake here and gave him the tour. She was pretending to not be the Bozz of Time but actually she was the Bozz of Time.
"This room. Almost like my study." says Mandrake.
"Exactly like your study-- where I found you. -- working on papers just like these."
"My bills -- from 50,000 years ago -- now overdue!"
Yeah, clearly that's what we should be focusing on here, Mandrake. Not the fact that some crazy woman who claims to be the ruler of all of time kidnapped you apparently for the purpose of pulling a weird prank. If you never get home your bills will go unpaid, and that would be a catastrophe.
I also haven't been talking about Popeye at all lately, because it went through a period of unrelated joke-a-day strips, but a new story has begun now. Olive Oyl found a weird crown that gave her super powers and made he think she was Velma of Venus, whoever that may be.
Popeye, 2014-08-28.
"It's wonderful to be able to fly!" says Olive/Velma. "This headpiece gives me wonderful powers!"
She takes it off to admire it and crashes tot he ground.
"But I must remember not to take it off in flight !"
Also, now Popeye and Wimpy have both decided that they're in love with Velma, not realising that she is actually Olive, even though her appearance remains exactly the same when she has the crown on.
"Dirty" somehow managed to get away, even though Taurus had the gun, and drove off. Fortunately there was another car, which Mark and Taurus began pursuing him in. Unfortunately they decided to take a shortcut and ran into a herd of elephants.
Mark Trail, 2014-09-02.
"Taurus, fire your rifle!" says Mark. "Maybe the sound will scare them!"
"Okay, Mark!" says Taurus, hanging out of the sun roof.
Kablam Blam goes the gun.
Beep Beep Beep goes the car's horn.
The elephants turn to run towards "Dirty".
If we're lucky, I think "Dirty" may be about to be trampled by a herd of elephants.
There was a liquid diamond suit that allowed Mandrake to fly and some zoos full of genetically engineered versions of present-day animals that all lived in harmony. Eventually he was brought to a replica of his own house but made of liquid diamonds, and introduced to robotic replicas of Narda, Lothar and Hojo. But forget that, because this is where the ruler of past, present and future, the Bozz of Time lives.
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-09-02.
"Third ruler of the Earth? You kidnapped me!" says Mandrake.
"I did indeed." says... the exact same woman who brought Mandrake here and gave him the tour. She was pretending to not be the Bozz of Time but actually she was the Bozz of Time.
"This room. Almost like my study." says Mandrake.
"Exactly like your study-- where I found you. -- working on papers just like these."
"My bills -- from 50,000 years ago -- now overdue!"
Yeah, clearly that's what we should be focusing on here, Mandrake. Not the fact that some crazy woman who claims to be the ruler of all of time kidnapped you apparently for the purpose of pulling a weird prank. If you never get home your bills will go unpaid, and that would be a catastrophe.
I also haven't been talking about Popeye at all lately, because it went through a period of unrelated joke-a-day strips, but a new story has begun now. Olive Oyl found a weird crown that gave her super powers and made he think she was Velma of Venus, whoever that may be.
Popeye, 2014-08-28.
"It's wonderful to be able to fly!" says Olive/Velma. "This headpiece gives me wonderful powers!"
She takes it off to admire it and crashes tot he ground.
"But I must remember not to take it off in flight !"
Also, now Popeye and Wimpy have both decided that they're in love with Velma, not realising that she is actually Olive, even though her appearance remains exactly the same when she has the crown on.
"Dirty" somehow managed to get away, even though Taurus had the gun, and drove off. Fortunately there was another car, which Mark and Taurus began pursuing him in. Unfortunately they decided to take a shortcut and ran into a herd of elephants.
Mark Trail, 2014-09-02.
"Taurus, fire your rifle!" says Mark. "Maybe the sound will scare them!"
"Okay, Mark!" says Taurus, hanging out of the sun roof.
Kablam Blam goes the gun.
Beep Beep Beep goes the car's horn.
The elephants turn to run towards "Dirty".
If we're lucky, I think "Dirty" may be about to be trampled by a herd of elephants.
Melodrama Monday: All Talk
It turns out that Dr. Kapuht's drug use led to the death of a patient, so it's a good thing that Mary Worth convinced Olive's parents not to trust him.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-26.
At the hospital, Mary overhears two doctors talking.
"You'd never guess that he's a drug addict by the look of him! Kapuht fooled a lot of people!"
"It's always the ones you don't suspect, isn't it?"
"What a shame about the patient, though!"
"Yes, an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour... I'm glad it wasn't me!"
And "an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour" is just the best phrase. It's written so awkwardly that it sounds like they're not even blaming Dr Kapuht, it was just a thing that happened. You can't even tell they're talking about the fact that someone died. Oh dear, what a shame, glad it wasn't me.
Then a few days later we had this delightful strip.
I have no idea what's going on with Mary's face, but I love it.
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it turns out that Gunther isn't dead. Nor was his departure to Peru an excuse to write him out of Luann entirely. In fact, we just got a whole week of him, with the implied promise of more to come.
It turns out that Rosa's uncle's clinic isn't the underfunded, ramshackle jungle-based operation providing the only source of medical care available to the grateful savages that she had pictured and is, in fact, well-funded and located in a city, and her uncle is a plastic surgeon. You'd think she would have known this. You'd think she'd have made some effort to find out what her uncle did before flying to a different country to work for him. But apparently Rosa heard "clinic in NotAmerica" and leapt to an incredibly stupid conclusion.
Luann, 2014-08-29.
"Here's your cubicle." says Sofia (Rosa's uncles executive assistant). "Read these manuals — phone answering and data entry. Settle in and I'll be back to take you to lunch and perhaps some clothes shopping..."
"Unbelievable." says Rosa. "My uncle's 'clinic' is a nip'n tuck factory!"
"Hey! I know this program!" says Gunther.
God, this is just so dumb. And although we're back with Luann herself this week, I can't help but feel that we're in for more of Rosa and Gunther in the near future. When will the Evanses realise that Tiffany is the best character and make the strip just be about her?
Unbelievably, Apartment 3-G is still dragging out this conversation between Carol and Tommie. The comic has just been the two of them talking since the 14th of July. And that's just going back to when the two of them played their incredibly mild practical joke on Tina, the supposed gossip. If we don't count Tina, it's a whole extra month before we see anyone else, and that was just Jack Riley. Remember him?
Before that point it's just the three of them, Tommie, Jack and Carol, all the way back to the 11th of May when Aristotle left. That was the last time we saw any of the regular cast members other than Tommie. And she's been on Jack's farm since the beginning of April. Why won't this end?
Well, this week Tommie's been telling Carol about her ex-boyfriends (who actually were never boyfriends at all) and it's been exactly as boring as you'd imagine.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-08-29.
"And that, Carol, brings me to doctor Joe Kelly. We worked together in the E.R. Joe was easy tot alk to and fun to be with right up until he..." says Tommie, "tried to kidnap his children, kill his wife and make a run for it."
"Whoa, Tommie — what the..." says Carol, grinning.
Remember when things used to happen in this comic? When it wasn't just the two most boring characters talking to each other day after day forever? Good times.
Mary Worth, 2014-08-26.
At the hospital, Mary overhears two doctors talking.
"You'd never guess that he's a drug addict by the look of him! Kapuht fooled a lot of people!"
"It's always the ones you don't suspect, isn't it?"
"What a shame about the patient, though!"
"Yes, an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour... I'm glad it wasn't me!"
And "an unfortunate victim of errant behaviour" is just the best phrase. It's written so awkwardly that it sounds like they're not even blaming Dr Kapuht, it was just a thing that happened. You can't even tell they're talking about the fact that someone died. Oh dear, what a shame, glad it wasn't me.
Then a few days later we had this delightful strip.
 |
| Mary Worth, 2014-09-01. |
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it turns out that Gunther isn't dead. Nor was his departure to Peru an excuse to write him out of Luann entirely. In fact, we just got a whole week of him, with the implied promise of more to come.
It turns out that Rosa's uncle's clinic isn't the underfunded, ramshackle jungle-based operation providing the only source of medical care available to the grateful savages that she had pictured and is, in fact, well-funded and located in a city, and her uncle is a plastic surgeon. You'd think she would have known this. You'd think she'd have made some effort to find out what her uncle did before flying to a different country to work for him. But apparently Rosa heard "clinic in NotAmerica" and leapt to an incredibly stupid conclusion.
Luann, 2014-08-29.
"Here's your cubicle." says Sofia (Rosa's uncles executive assistant). "Read these manuals — phone answering and data entry. Settle in and I'll be back to take you to lunch and perhaps some clothes shopping..."
"Unbelievable." says Rosa. "My uncle's 'clinic' is a nip'n tuck factory!"
"Hey! I know this program!" says Gunther.
God, this is just so dumb. And although we're back with Luann herself this week, I can't help but feel that we're in for more of Rosa and Gunther in the near future. When will the Evanses realise that Tiffany is the best character and make the strip just be about her?
Unbelievably, Apartment 3-G is still dragging out this conversation between Carol and Tommie. The comic has just been the two of them talking since the 14th of July. And that's just going back to when the two of them played their incredibly mild practical joke on Tina, the supposed gossip. If we don't count Tina, it's a whole extra month before we see anyone else, and that was just Jack Riley. Remember him?
Before that point it's just the three of them, Tommie, Jack and Carol, all the way back to the 11th of May when Aristotle left. That was the last time we saw any of the regular cast members other than Tommie. And she's been on Jack's farm since the beginning of April. Why won't this end?
Well, this week Tommie's been telling Carol about her ex-boyfriends (who actually were never boyfriends at all) and it's been exactly as boring as you'd imagine.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-08-29.
"And that, Carol, brings me to doctor Joe Kelly. We worked together in the E.R. Joe was easy tot alk to and fun to be with right up until he..." says Tommie, "tried to kidnap his children, kill his wife and make a run for it."
"Whoa, Tommie — what the..." says Carol, grinning.
Remember when things used to happen in this comic? When it wasn't just the two most boring characters talking to each other day after day forever? Good times.
2014-09-01
Philosophical Sunday: See the resemblance?
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| Alley Oop, 2014-08-25. |
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| Ginger Meggs, 2014-08-29 |
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