Pondering The Lockhorns

Daily Ink's page on The Lockhorns says that "[The Lockhorns] gently spoofs the state of marital bliss, poking fun at the foibles of both partners" and "Their snappy repartee and witty banter has made them a perennial favorite."

Clearly whoever wrote that was thinking of some other comic.

Wikipedia says that "Leroy and Loretta ... demonstrate their mutual deep-seated hatred by making humorously sarcastic comments" which is quite different from the official line, but still doesn't really resemble the comic I'm familiar with.

I think The Comics Curmudgeon put it best back in 2009: "it's like Leroy and Loretta are in their own private circle of hell, doomed to fight it out for all eternity, with the ghostly shades of the damned watching them in stony silence."

Let's take this strip from a couple of days ago. I think we can dismiss outright the notion that this is a gentle spoof or contains anything resembling "snappy repartee" or "witty banter". But I'm also not seeing the deep-seated hatred or even humorous sarcasm.

Leroy's not saying that in a mean way, he's not getting any satisfaction out of insulting Loretta. He doesn't even seem to be aware that what he said could be taken as an insult. And Loretta doesn't seem to have taken it as such. Leroy's just giving his honest opinion.

They just don't care. Look at them. Why are they even at the bowling alley? They're clearly not having fun, they don't enjoy each other's company. They seem to be wearing uniforms, but if this is a tournament, where are the other players?

In fact, I'm starting to wonder if the bowling alley is even open for business. Presumably the damage to the door was caused just now by Loretta, but the furniture and decorations are in obvious disarray, and if there were staff present you'd expect some kind of reaction to the place being messed up like that. And that picture frame on the wall is empty.

The Lockhorns have broken into an abandoned bowling alley together, even though they clearly don't want to be there and would obviously rather be with anyone else. This is just one more way to pass the time. It won't make them less miserable, but nothing ever does.

So why not break into a bowling alley? The consequences can't possible be worse than what they're already suffering, and at least this is a change of scenery.