The Better Half, 2014-04-24.
"First they told me 2 + 2 + 4." says Stanley. "The they told me 3 + 1 + 4. After that, I lost all faith in our education system." And if he went through school and failed to learn to count then that would be a pretty harsh indictment of at least the school he went to.
Kliban, 2014-04-28.
An igloo is on fire. Several Eskimos form a line and pass blocks of ice forward to throw on the fire.
Snow job.
The Lockhorns, 2014-04-29.
Loretta's mother proudly shows off a trophy.
"Tennis?" says Leroy. "I thought it was for quidditch."
He's implying that Loretta's mother is a witch. You see, quidditch is the fictional game played by the wizards and witches in the Harry Potter series, so if she had won a quidditch trophy then she must be a witch. Leroy doesn't like his mother-in-law. That's the joke.
Heathcliff, 2014-04-29.
Heathcliff is spray-painting the word "POOP" onto a wall as a crowd of children watch and cheer.
"His graffiti is kid-friendly." remarks a police officer, making no attempt to stop the vandalism or apprehend the perpetrator.
2014-04-29
Action Tuesday: Mark Trail fights a bear
OK, you remember how Mark Trail was going to fight a bear? Well, he totally did. Noted animal-lover and nature enthusiast Mark Trail just bashed a bear in the head with a big stick. And then fell down a waterfall.
Mark Trail, 2014-04-26.
Mark crawls painfully from the river.
"My shoulder — feels like it's on fire!" he thinks. "I must have sprained my shoulder when I hit the riverbed!"
He looks up and sees the bear.
"That angry old black bear is limping a bit," he thinks, "but it's still coming after me!"
After that he ran a bit more and managed to climb a tree, but with his injured shoulder he can't hold on for very long...
The current Mandrake the Magician story concerns and English detective who's been sent to seek Mandrake's help in apprehending a criminal who always seems to be able to produce witnesses attesting his innocence, "Alibi Algie". The detective made no secret of the fact that he didn't believe that Mandrake would be able to help, but it's not like he was being a dick about it or anything. Mandrake, on the other hand...
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-04-26.
Inspector Brett suddenly finds himself in his underwear. "My-- clothes--" he sputters.
"Showing you how I'd handle your criminal." says Mandrake. "Comfortable Alibi Algie? Now talk--"
Inspector Brett begins to rise into the air and rotating.
"If he remained stubborn, I'd try to shake him-- harmlessly, of course." says Mandrake, apparently unaware that a confession given under such duress would be inadmissible in court.
"Uh! Uh!" gibbers Brett.
And in Alley Oop, King Tunk's motive is finally revealed.
Alley Opp, 2014-04-29.
"Ooola's not in any shape t'go anywhere," says Tunk, "and you wouldn't leave without her! Face it, you're a Lemmian now!"
"I'll never be a Lemmian!" declares Alley.
Meanwhile Ooola just sort of stumbles around in a daze.
Is the plan to just keep Ooola drugged forever so that Alley Oop can never leave? I really don't understand how this is supposed to work.
Mark Trail, 2014-04-26.
Mark crawls painfully from the river.
"My shoulder — feels like it's on fire!" he thinks. "I must have sprained my shoulder when I hit the riverbed!"
He looks up and sees the bear.
"That angry old black bear is limping a bit," he thinks, "but it's still coming after me!"
After that he ran a bit more and managed to climb a tree, but with his injured shoulder he can't hold on for very long...
The current Mandrake the Magician story concerns and English detective who's been sent to seek Mandrake's help in apprehending a criminal who always seems to be able to produce witnesses attesting his innocence, "Alibi Algie". The detective made no secret of the fact that he didn't believe that Mandrake would be able to help, but it's not like he was being a dick about it or anything. Mandrake, on the other hand...
Mandrake the Magician, 2014-04-26.
Inspector Brett suddenly finds himself in his underwear. "My-- clothes--" he sputters.
"Showing you how I'd handle your criminal." says Mandrake. "Comfortable Alibi Algie? Now talk--"
Inspector Brett begins to rise into the air and rotating.
"If he remained stubborn, I'd try to shake him-- harmlessly, of course." says Mandrake, apparently unaware that a confession given under such duress would be inadmissible in court.
"Uh! Uh!" gibbers Brett.
And in Alley Oop, King Tunk's motive is finally revealed.
Alley Opp, 2014-04-29.
"Ooola's not in any shape t'go anywhere," says Tunk, "and you wouldn't leave without her! Face it, you're a Lemmian now!"
"I'll never be a Lemmian!" declares Alley.
Meanwhile Ooola just sort of stumbles around in a daze.
Is the plan to just keep Ooola drugged forever so that Alley Oop can never leave? I really don't understand how this is supposed to work.
Melodrama Monday: Lost in the Wilderness
I haven't talked about Luann recently, and you may think that that's because it's terrible and I hate it, but you'd be totally wrong. It is and I do, but that's more a reason for me to want to talk about it. It's actually because it hasn't been particularly bad lately. It hasn't been good, obviously, it's just that not much of anything at all has happened. But this week that changed.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
Luann, Quill, Gunther and Rosa hired a limo to take them to a restaurant and then on to their prom, which got stuck in traffic and then involved in a low-speed collision. Obviously no one was hurt as that might have been interesting, but it did prompt the four to flee the scene of the accident cross a field to get to the bus stop on the other side, where I guess there's no traffic?
Naturally Luann complained about literally every part of that while everyone else remained cheerful. Even Quill, who managed to injure his knee walking across a field. And somehow everyone ended up with their clothes torn and, like, twigs in their hair. And they missed the bus. Somehow this all took so long that they no longer have time for dinner and have to catch a different bus to go straight to the prom.
Meanwhile, at the prom...
Luann, 2014-04-26.
"Wow, this is amazing, Tiff!" says Bernice, not bothering to treat Tiffany like a leper since Luann's not there to see it.
"Thanks." says Tiffany, finishing some last-minute preparations. "Where's the rest of your little gang?"
"Luann, Quill, Rosa and Gunther are enjoying an elegant dinner right about now" says Delta, somehow keeping a straight face while using the words "elegant", "Luann" and "Gunther" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile the four mentioned stand at a bus-stop, glassy-eyed and dishevelled.
"I'm starving..." says Rosa. No one responds.
Judge Parker, 2014-04-28.
April finds a happy Katherine sitting on a log in moonlight!
"Oh April..." slurs Katherine, gesticulating with her martini glass. "Did you ever see a more beautiful moon?"
"No Katherine," sighs April. "but we can't be out here! People are coming!"
"What people, dear?" asks Katherine.
"Bad people! We have to hide... and be very quiet!"
Not that I don't enjoy seeing the already wealthy being given extravagant gifts and expensive products for no reason (and I mean that genuinely), but if that's being replaced by Alan and Katherine bumbling obliviously into dangerous situations while everyone around them tries desperately to keep them alive and fails to persuade them to take the threat seriously, this comic is going to be a lot more entertaining.
As you may recall, Tommie of Apartment 3-G had been keeping a deer in the flat and eventually took it to a vet she heard about. Well, after a small amount of conflict she took him up on a job offer and has now been performing manual labour on his farm, presumably for room and board, because I don't remember any mention of payment.
Apartment 3-G, 2014-04-28.
Three weeks pass and...
"All right, I've had enough!" yells Margo. "There's been no word from Tommie and I can't stand it anymore!"
"What can you do, Margo?" asks Lu Ann.
"I can bring her home by force if needed, Lu Ann!"
"And who will be running the agency?"
Who's running it now? It's not like Margo ever does anything. Also, three weeks? They haven't heard from Tommie in three weeks? She goes to see this vet, suddenly takes a job working for him (without even knowing what the job was) and says she's not coming home, and her friends wait three weeks to think about maybe going after her?
I shouldn't be surprised, really. Lu Ann probably didn't notice she was missing, and Margo's only going after her now because she's run out of clean clothes and doesn't trust Lu Ann to operate a washing machine.
2014-04-27
Weekend Workshop: Philosophical Sunday
I haven't done many edits recently, so I only one I have for you this weekend.
But I forgot to post on Friday so I'll just use this as a catch-up day.
Wait, kindergarten? Elmo is only around four years old? I always assumed he was about ten. And even then, the fact that he's always hanging around in the Bumsteads' house was pretty weird, but if he's four then it's just bizarre.
Why is he always at the Bumsteads' anyway? We never see his parents, and he seems to just come and go as he pleases, so it's not like Dagwood is babysitting. He's just a four-year-old kid who comes around to spend time with his adult neighbour for no apparent reason.
If you were going to have a robot lift operator, surely it would just be the lift. You wouldn't have a little robot dog actually pressing buttons. The buttons are there because humans have to use them.
And the idea that these robots have dreams and preferences reminds us again that they are sentient, intelligent beings, and Skip's family owns them. This is a comic about slaves. But it's kind of worse than regular slaves, because they've been specifically designed to accept their slavery, and even to have particular attributes that make them better workers. It's like slavery and eugenics. Also, they're consumer electronics, so when they get a bit out of date they just get thrown out. Refurb is already a second-hand bit of rubbish bought only as an amusing novelty.
It hasn't come up for a while now, but there are strips where Karl demonstrates his awareness of these disturbing facts, and Bleeker just brushes it off like it's nothing. But, and this may seem crazy, Karl is actually the sanest character in this comic. Except maybe Lila, she seems OK.
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| Based on The Amazing Spider-Man, 2014-04-23. |
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| Blondie, 2014-04-25. |
Why is he always at the Bumsteads' anyway? We never see his parents, and he seems to just come and go as he pleases, so it's not like Dagwood is babysitting. He's just a four-year-old kid who comes around to spend time with his adult neighbour for no apparent reason.
 |
| Bleeker the Rechargeable Dog, 2014-04-23. |
And the idea that these robots have dreams and preferences reminds us again that they are sentient, intelligent beings, and Skip's family owns them. This is a comic about slaves. But it's kind of worse than regular slaves, because they've been specifically designed to accept their slavery, and even to have particular attributes that make them better workers. It's like slavery and eugenics. Also, they're consumer electronics, so when they get a bit out of date they just get thrown out. Refurb is already a second-hand bit of rubbish bought only as an amusing novelty.
It hasn't come up for a while now, but there are strips where Karl demonstrates his awareness of these disturbing facts, and Bleeker just brushes it off like it's nothing. But, and this may seem crazy, Karl is actually the sanest character in this comic. Except maybe Lila, she seems OK.
2014-04-24
Sitcom Thursday: Signs of Madness
Herb and Jamaal, 2014-04-24.
Jamaal is lying in bed, clutching the covers in apparent fear.
"Sometimes in quiet moments, I believe I hear voices..." he thinks, "... that put ideas in my head. But even though I know the voices aren't real..."
He begins smiling.
"...They still have some pretty good ideas."
Well, that's creepy.
This week Curtis paid a visit to Gunther the barber, where it turned out that Gunther's sister, a fashion designer from Las Vegas (whose name is apparently "Babygirl") was coming to visit. She arrived in a limousine.
Curtis, 2014-04-23.
"I haven't seen you, Babygirl, in a month of Sundays" says Gunther.
"Hhhhow have you been, dear brother?" asks Babygirl.
"Fine!" says Gunther. "And how's life treatin' you?"
"Champagne, caviar and chauffeurs, dahhling! Oh! I take my breath away!" says Babygirl. "I lead a faaabulous life in faaabulous Las Vegas as the premiere fashion designer to only the most faaabulous celebrities and stars! There ain't no bones in ice-cream, honey"
Curtis laughs uproariously, as though something funny just happened. Gunther gives him a confused look.
Jamaal is lying in bed, clutching the covers in apparent fear.
"Sometimes in quiet moments, I believe I hear voices..." he thinks, "... that put ideas in my head. But even though I know the voices aren't real..."
He begins smiling.
"...They still have some pretty good ideas."
Well, that's creepy.
This week Curtis paid a visit to Gunther the barber, where it turned out that Gunther's sister, a fashion designer from Las Vegas (whose name is apparently "Babygirl") was coming to visit. She arrived in a limousine.
Curtis, 2014-04-23.
"I haven't seen you, Babygirl, in a month of Sundays" says Gunther.
"Hhhhow have you been, dear brother?" asks Babygirl.
"Fine!" says Gunther. "And how's life treatin' you?"
"Champagne, caviar and chauffeurs, dahhling! Oh! I take my breath away!" says Babygirl. "I lead a faaabulous life in faaabulous Las Vegas as the premiere fashion designer to only the most faaabulous celebrities and stars! There ain't no bones in ice-cream, honey"
Curtis laughs uproariously, as though something funny just happened. Gunther gives him a confused look.
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